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How to motivate a teenager


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Without going into a long story or too much detail... My son is 18. He pretty much dropped out of highschool (refused to do the work, was homeschooled) several years ago. Now he says he wants to go for his GED and wants me to homeschool him for it. His income is dependent on him being a full-time student.

 

He went for GED testing at the local community college and placed very low in math, a little low in language arts, and high in reading (the only subjects they test). We bought some of the books they recommended and I wrote out some lessons plans.

 

The first week went fine. He took the pretests in the book and did some other assignments, but since then he keeps putting off doing school work... Just like when we were homeschooling him a few years ago. And I can't figure out a way to motivate him. He sits and plays on the computer all night and sleeps all day. Taking away the computer isn't an option. We've tried reward systems, punishment, all kinds of stuff, but nothing works for more than a couple of days. And, since we live with my mom, she won't let me do much as far as punishment goes.

 

Any ideas for how I can get him to take this seriously and take responsibility for his own education? In other words, how do you motivate a young adult (since he is 18) to get him to do his schoolwork?

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I think with an 18yo, you don't really "motivate" them in the sense that you mean - somehow making them do the work. I think the best you can do is to take them out for coffee and sit down and discuss what's going on. Going out for coffee is important because the discussion happens on neutral ground.

 

I think you have to find a way to step out of the role as enforcer of education and into the role of collaborator/advisor. I know I went thru that same problem last year when my oldest DD decided to homeschool for her senior year. She was 18 and I couldn't "make" her do anything. For DD, she did the work because she wanted that diploma and the college scholarships. Hopefully, you will be able to help your son find something that motivates him.

 

 

It doesn't sound like he really wants to be doing school at all, but feels like he has to because of the income involved. Maybe the two of you can brainstorm a way for him to take the GED prep classes from someone else - a tutor or at the community college? Maybe he wants to take some other type of classes, maybe learn a trade? Or maybe work a minimum wage job for a few years would inspire him that studying for the GED isn't such a bad idea after all?

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