Who at the elementary school do I tell about this?

[AlmiraGulch]

I'm thinking the Principal, but I'm already prepared for the person who answers the phone to try to blow me off, and so I'm already mad!

 

Twice this week my 10 year old, who was supposed to be at an after school club, got on the bus and came home because the clubs were cancelled. She doesn't always carry a house key, so if I hadn't been home she would have just been waiting outside in the cold.

 

It really makes me mad because I didn't know where my kid was. If they're going to cancel clubs with no notice they need to call the parents. It's unacceptable to me. I'm going to call the school but I want to speak to the right person to be sure it doesn't happen again. I'll be honest and say that going there isn't an option, because the times that I have done so previously hae not gone well. I have a knee-jerk negative reaction to these people.

 

Some other things have happened this year that make me less than happy with the school, too. They just seem so completely apathetic. Makes me nutso.

[Night Elf]

I would ask to speak to Mr./Mrs. Principal without any other comment. If they insist on knowing why, tell them you're a parent and you have an important matter to discuss. If they insist more, I'd say it's about something confidential. They can't ask beyond that. I'd be floored if they did.

[bettyandbob]

Yes, I'd start with the principal on this. In my district a robo call goes out to all families when this happens. I think they even robo text.

[AlmiraGulch]

I would ask to speak to Mr./Mrs. Principal without any other comment. If they insist on knowing why, tell them you're a parent and you have an important matter to discuss. If they insist more, I'd say it's about something confidential. They can't ask beyond that. I'd be floored if they did.

 

 

Good advice. It just seems to me that they (school administrators) always seem to be in defense mode. I hate having to deal with them. If only they'd stop doing stupid things....

[bettyandbob]

Can you also email the principal. I always get a response when I email the principal.

[AlmiraGulch]

Can you also email the principal. I always get a response when I email the principal.

 

 

Oh....good idea! I may try that.

[clarkacademy]

Back in the day when my kid went to school I had exactly the same issue! It was this cooking thing class they were doing. I called the school and just a warning they were pretty rude about it. Something along the lines of, afterschool activities are done on a volunteer type basis and it is not a volunteers job to watch my kid if I needed after school care then I could enroll them. Basicaly it was my responsibility to know where my kid was after school hours not theirs. I learned after that to call every time because in a way I saw their point it is my kid. I would also make sure she has a key every day cause you just never know.

 

I lived in IN and their heating went out once they sent all the kids home in the middle of the day no phone calls or anything if it weren't for my neighbor calling I would have had two kids out in the cold for hours one being special needs.

[AlmiraGulch]

Back in the day when my kid went to school I had exactly the same issue! It was this cooking thing class they were doing. I called the school and just a warning they were pretty rude about it. Something along the lines of, afterschool activities are done on a volunteer type basis and it is not a volunteers job to watch my kid if I needed after school care then I could enroll them. Basicaly it was my responsibility to know where my kid was after school hours not theirs. I learned after that to call every time because in a way I saw their point it is my kid. I would also make sure she has a key every day cause you just never know.

 

I lived in IN and their heating went out once they sent all the kids home in the middle of the day no phone calls or anything if it weren't for my neighbor calling I would have had two kids out in the cold for hours one being special needs.

 

What a bunch of crap! Yes, after school activities are not mandatory, but if they offer them they should tell you when they're cancelled so you know where your children are. And not calling home when they send everyone home from school? I would have been furious if I were you.

 

And THIS is why I don't want to go talk to these people. I'm really a reasonable person, but after having dealt with them with my older daughter I just don't want to have to do it again. Those people and their nasty attitudes were the final reason I started home schooling in the first place. Now when I have to go there I just assume it's going to be a bad experience.

 

Still, I have to tell them, because this is unacceptable.

 

As for the key thing...she has one, but doesn't always remember to take it with her. Yes, her (our) fault. Still, shouldn't be an issue because she shouldn't be coming home without my knowing in advance she's going to be coming home, kwim?

[bettyandbob]

If the school says they are not responsible, the I'd suggest that every single time the activity is cancelled, your dd will be in the office asking to use their phone to call you, because she needs to be responsible to let you know where she is.

[clarkacademy]

What a bunch of crap! Yes, after school activities are not mandatory, but if they offer them they should tell you when they're cancelled so you know where your children are. And not calling home when they send everyone home from school? I would have been furious if I were you.

 

And THIS is why I don't want to go talk to these people. I'm really a reasonable person, but after having dealt with them with my older daughter I just don't want to have to do it again. Those people and their nasty attitudes were the final reason I started home schooling in the first place. Now when I have to go there I just assume it's going to be a bad experience.

 

Still, I have to tell them, because this is unacceptable.

 

As for the key thing...she has one, but doesn't always remember to take it with her. Yes, her (our) fault. Still, shouldn't be an issue because she shouldn't be coming home without my knowing in advance she's going to be coming home, kwim?

 

I AGREE! I think in my opinion it is common sense when it comes to things like this. I also realize that they aren't going to care for my kid like I do. In a perfect world people would call it is the right thing to do but most people (not all) don't care about the right thing if it requires effort. I was angry when it happened though.

[AlmiraGulch]

If the school says they are not responsible, the I'd suggest that every single time the activity is cancelled, your dd will be in the office asking to use their phone to call you, because she needs to be responsible to let you know where she is.

 

I don't disagree with this. I still don't think that the ultimate burden should be on the 10-year old who is in a public school. They offer activities, they assume the responsibility.

[AlmiraGulch]

I AGREE! I think in my opinion it is common sense when it comes to things like this. I also realize that they aren't going to care for my kid like I do. In a perfect world people would call it is the right thing to do but most people (not all) don't care about the right thing if it requires effort. I was angry when it happened though.

 

So true.

[bettyandbob]

 

 

I don't disagree with this. I still don't think that the ultimate burden should be on the 10-year old who is in a public school. They offer activities, they assume the responsibility.

 

I'm suggesting it because the staff might see that it will be cumbersome to have multiple children coming to use the phone and perhaps see the wisdome of one person making the calls.

[chiguirre]

If they're not responsible for letting parents know they need to pick their kids up early or be home for the bus when a previously scheduled activity has been cancelled, then it's the child's responsibility. In that case, they need to be allowed to keep a cell phone in their backpack or have access to a pay phone and time to make the call. Someone has to let parents know that their pickup time has changed!!!

[AlmiraGulch]

I'm suggesting it because the staff might see that it will be cumbersome to have multiple children coming to use the phone and perhaps see the wisdome of one person making the calls.

 

 

Oh, I see. Good point.

[AlmiraGulch]

In an unexpected turn of events.....

 

I took Betty's advice and emailed the principal, and she just called me. I certainly didn't expect that fast of a response, so that makes me happy.

 

She thanked me for bringing it to her attention and wanted to be certain nothing had been sent home in writing about it. I said that I hadn't received anything, but that it's certainly possible they sent something and DD10 just didn't give it to me (and I didn't see it in the folder). She is a child, after all. It would be unusual for her, but it's possible.

 

I was assured that when activities are cancelled in advance they are required to send something home in writing, and when they are cancelled on the same day the activity sponsors are supposed to call the parents, or give a list to the office to call the parents. She actually apologized and promised to look into it and get back to me.

 

So far, so good.

 

I really need to stop getting mad about things I imagine are going to happen before the really happen.

[Cera]

They may not be responsible for providing child care after school but that isn't what you are expecting. They basically asked your child if she wanted to stay after school, in their care, to participate in a club. In doing so they took responsibility for her during the times they made those arrangements for. If those things are going to change you need to be notified, far enough in advance to make other arrangements for her if necessary.

 

My child goes to an after school club. I certainly could be home to meet her bus (ad I am every other day) but on her club days I often run errands since I have to go pick her up at the school anyway. I am not home to meet her bus because I was told by the school that she would be remaining in their care for an extra hour on those days. I would be absolutely livid if they put her on the bus and sent her home to an empty house. It has nothing to do with being able to get in (she knows where a key is for emergencies) and everything to do with my not knowing where she is and her being left alone at an age that I don't think is acceptable (and which I am sure I would be criticized for as a parent were I to be the one leaving her alone).

 

I would call the principal and be very clear that should anything happen to my child I would be holding him, his fellow administrators and the school personally responsible and I would make sure it became a huge media issue (yes, in this situation I would have no problem making that threat). Then I would give him/her a long list of the possibilities...kid disappears, kid gets hurt, fire, parent gets in accident and child is home alone for an extended period, etc.

[jhschool]

If they are going to be such jerks I would:

1. get cell phone for my kid; my kid can call me if they cancel something

2. give my kid one of those phone-cord spiral thingies to wear his/her key on--less

likely to forget or lose

3. call the school each morning and ask if they are actually going to hold extracurriculars that day.

4. call authorities (I am not sure who--police? city? state?) and ask who is in loco parentis

during extracurriculars. This is important. What if (God forbid) something happens during the

extracurricular and they don't take proper care of the kids? Is it your responsibility? Or are

they in charge of your child? Who is in charge of calling 911-you-taking the kids in an emergency?

Who did you give the Medical Emergency Form to? (The one that says allergies & conditions)

and the Emergency Contact Form to?

 

I still don't understand why the school or the extracurricular person couldn't

go down the list of contacts and call the parents as soon as they found out they

would cancel afternoon classes.

 

I am sorry about your situation and hope it resolves soon. Thank God you were home

those times!

[Suzanne115]

I think I would set up a meeting at the school with the principal. You have a legitimate safety concern and it should be taken seriously.

 

Suzanne

[magnificent_baby]

It sounds like a good time to make a plan for Dd for future occurances. Our school has the best of intentions, but frankly, people are human and mistakes happen. On rare occasions neighborhood kids get dropped off the bus when they shouldn't.

 

I drill my kids on what to do and where to go, if for whatever reason I am not home when they get off the bus. Which neighbors to go to, etc. Some of our neighbor kids have codes to their garages.

 

I am sure you were mad...I would be too!

[Alessandra]

Wow, I see this as an extremely serious safety issue. What if a kid went home to a locked house and then something bad happened? In our school district, any unexpected early dismissal is not only announced, but a response from parent/caregiver is also required. We have automated systems now ('push 1 to acknowledge this call'), but in the 'olden' days, I was one of the volunteers who called parents about early dismissals. If a parent couldn't be reached (some parents did not want their work numbers given out), then the school office called. I have seen kids waiting out side the principal's office with a cookie, waiting for a parent to come and pick them up.

 

In your position, I would first check school district policy if you are able to do so easily, that is, if you can find policies on district website. I would keep a written record of meetings and phone conversations, because, if they do not do anything, then you will have that to fall back on. I would also copy any correspondence to district superintendent. You don't have to take a mean tone -- you could thank them for working on the problem and reiterate that you are glad they understand the safety issues involved. I imagine that a kidnapped child would be one of a superintendent's worst nightmares!

 

I agree that your dd should go to the office and call you before getting on the bus. If the bus has to wait while she makes her call, that is school's problem, not your dd's. I don't feel that you are under any obligation to give a young child a cellphone or a key -- the school should get it that having a young child in an empty house may not be any safer than having her wait outside.

 

Sorry to vent, but your story really gets to me, especially in this day & age when there are so many potential dangers to kids.

 

ETA I read your updates -- putting a notice in a backpack does not count! Sounds like the principal is trying to wiggle out of this by implying that a 10 year old wasn't responsible. Plus, an apology is worthless, IMO, without a change in policy.

[AlmiraGulch]

 

 

ETA I read your updates -- putting a notice in a backpack does not count! Sounds like the principal is trying to wiggle out of this by implying that a 10 year old wasn't responsible. Plus, an apology is worthless, IMO, without a change in policy.

 

So maybe I didn't state it properly. I actually am the one who put it out there that maybe something went home and I didn't know about it. I don't think that happened, but I'm trying to be diplomatic. She also made it clear that it is incumbent upon the sponsors of the program to ensure proper notice and communication is given, so she wasn't trying to make it my kid's fault.

 

I also don't know that the policy isn't already that parents be personally contacted when things are cancelled and the policy just wasn't followed in this case.

 

If it IS the policy and it wasn't followed, I expect swift action to be taken to ensure this will not happen again.

 

If it IS NOT the policy, I will escalate this until it is.

 

If they sent something home, even in writing, I'm not sure that's good enough. Like a previous poster said, I receive robo-calls for every other thing in the world, why not this? When they cancelled ALL after school activities a month or so ago because of weather, I received a robo call and a personal call. The means are definitely in place. They need to use them.

[AlmiraGulch]

I agree that your dd should go to the office and call you before getting on the bus. If the bus has to wait while she makes her call, that is school's problem, not your dd's. I don't feel that you are under any obligation to give a young child a cellphone or a key -- the school should get it that having a young child in an empty house may not be any safer than having her wait outside.

 

 

 

Also, about this...it sounds good in theory, but would never happen in practice. They would not allow a bus to be held up for one child to make a phone call home. NO way, no how.

 

She could have called me earlier in the day yesterday, though, since she said they told them on morning announcements. Still, there are probably 20 kids in that club. Seems to me the administrators should have called all the parents rather than having the 4th and 5th graders hopefully think it prudent to ask to leave class to go to the office and use the phone to call home. That's ludicrous to me.

 

I guess I'm just having a hard time putting the responsibility on my kid here. There are things she could have done, but the adults should be held accountable here.

[Alessandra]

So maybe I didn't state it properly. I actually am the one who put it out there that maybe something went home and I didn't know about it. I don't think that happened, but I'm trying to be diplomatic. She also made it clear that it is incumbent upon the sponsors of the program to ensure proper notice and communication is given, so she wasn't trying to make it my kid's fault.

 

I also don't know that the policy isn't already that parents be personally contacted when things are cancelled and the policy just wasn't followed in this case.

 

If it IS the policy and it wasn't followed, I expect swift action to be taken to ensure this will not happen again.

 

If it IS NOT the policy, I will escalate this until it is.

 

If they sent something home, even in writing, I'm not sure that's good enough. Like a previous poster said, I receive robo-calls for every other thing in the world, why not this? When they cancelled ALL after school activities a month or so ago because of weather, I received a robo call and a personal call. The means are definitely in place. They need to use them.

 

Good for you!

 

Also, about this...it sounds good in theory, but would never happen in practice. They would not allow a bus to be held up for one child to make a phone call home. NO way, no how.

 

She could have called me earlier in the day yesterday, though, since she said they told them on morning announcements. Still, there are probably 20 kids in that club. Seems to me the administrators should have called all the parents rather than having the 4th and 5th graders hopefully think it prudent to ask to leave class to go to the office and use the phone to call home. That's ludicrous to me.

 

I guess I'm just having a hard time putting the responsibility on my kid here. There are things she could have done, but the adults should be held accountable here.

 

I agree with you 1000%.