Remudamom Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Notes to self- When you find a chicken egg in the yard don't put it in your pocket. Always apply chapstick AFTER brushing a hairy pony, not before. What are yours? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'm laughing too hard to remember mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeeMommy Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 When you find a chicken egg in the yard don't put it in your pocket. :iagree: AGREE TOTALLY! (can you guess why?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 21, 2013 Author Share Posted February 21, 2013 When you find a chicken egg in the yard don't put it in your pocket. :iagree: AGREE TOTALLY! (can you guess why?) It has happened to me more times than I can remember. It's all fun and games till you forget and lean over. Squish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't use your bare hands to pick up strange little chocolate pieces you see laying on the carpet because it might not actually *be* chocolate pieces. :scared: :ack2: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Notes to self- When you find a chicken egg in the yard don't put it in your pocket. What are yours? :rofl: My DH has done this on MANY times, and it really doesn't matter if it is the shirt pocket or the pants pocket. the result is ALWAYS the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeeMommy Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't use your bare hands to pick up strange little chocolate pieces you see laying on the carpet because it might not actually *be* chocolate pieces. :scared: :ack2: :lol: The cute little round brown balls your children find in the yard...aren't so cute when you realize they're bunny poops! :bored: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't pull a Mulder (don't stick your hand in ANYTHING unless you know what it is!) Make double and triple sure the lid is on tight before you shake the salad dressing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't grab anything in my house by the lid. Particularly if the contents are liquid. As for the egg? Been there...yup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 21, 2013 Author Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't pull a Mulder (don't stick your hand in ANYTHING unless you know what it is!) Make double and triple sure the lid is on tight before you shake the salad dressing Ah yes. Shake shake shake the ketchup bottle None will come and then a lot'll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in OR Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Less universally applicable, but some of my favorite advice from Jim Croce: You don't tug on Superman's cape You don't spit into the wind You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Jim. Erica in OR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't provoke a perenti to see if it will move. Those things can really run fast! These are big lace monitors which means an ancient looking goanna lizard thing up to 2m long, with big claws and it can outrun a rabbit. Because I learn fast, I've only done this maybe 3 times. Bl**dy scary. Now if I'd watched that first, I probably wouldn't have done it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Less universally applicable, but some of my favorite advice from Jim Croce: You don't tug on Superman's cape You don't spit into the wind You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Jim. Erica in OR My DH taught all our boys Don't pee into the wind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't provoke a perenti to see if it will move. Those things can really run fast! These are big lace monitors which means an ancient looking goanna lizard thing up to 2m long, with big claws and it can outrun a rabbit. Because I learn fast, I've only done this maybe 3 times. Bl**dy scary. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=614hIg2lNM8 Now if I'd watched that first, I probably wouldn't have done it. Also from Canadian Dh's notebook; Don't razz up a tiger snake with a stick to see if Aussies are really telling the truth about them chasing you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Hot glass looks the same as cold glass. Never heat a closed system. (Can you tell I'm thinking chemistry lab tonight?) Even if your choices are limited to Pestilence, Famine, or Death, it is always possible to make a wise decision. (Babylon 5) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Ah, yes. The heated closed system! Since you are in chemistry-I'll give you another tip. If a classmate asks you to help them fit a glass tube through a rubber stopper, feign deafness, 'kay? I still have the scar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Also from Canadian Dh's notebook; Don't razz up a tiger snake with a stick to see if Aussies are really telling the truth about them chasing you. As an Aussie, I would NOT poke a snake. Particularly colourful ones. A few weeks ago dd screamed at me to come and help her as a brown snake crawled past her... and she wanted to try and kill it for the skull. She was holding a rock. No we don't provoke them, they will bite. Leave them to get away. Mind you, just after that I found a road-kill one for her that I've buried to clean it up, she doesn't know yet. (Yes I know the fangs might still be poisonous.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 My DH did in fact razz up a tiger snake with a stick a few months after arriving in Australia. he found out just how fast a snake can slither - and how fast he can actually run. He has given them a wide berth ever since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 21, 2013 Author Share Posted February 21, 2013 Okay, all you downunder folks are nuts. LEAVE THE REPTILES ALONE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't let the cats eat people food. You will regret it when you clean the litter box. :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in SC Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 This just happened to me this evening: when you get out the Vitamix and notice the clear cap is missing from the center of the black lid, do not simply shrug and assume it must be in the cabinet somewhere. Do not mindlessly dump ingredients into the Vitamix, put the lid on (minus the clear cap), and definitely do not turn it on...because the clear cap will be inside the Vitamix, underneath the ingredients, of course, and the cap and contents will be ruined. Great fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Do not put a peeled soft-boiled egg in the microwave for a few seconds to make it hard "boiled". And absolutely do not bite into it. I was badly burned by the exploding egg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Okay, all you downunder folks are nuts. LEAVE THE REPTILES ALONE! But, but, but.....we don't got no rabid racoons and bears and stuff. We gotta play wid sommat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in SC Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Do not put a peeled soft-boiled egg in the microwave for a few seconds to make it hard "boiled". And absolutely do not bite into it. I was badly burned by the exploding egg. Oh goodness! I'm sorry you were burned. My oldest dd tried to hard boil an egg in the microwave when she was in high school. Fortunately no one was near enough to get burned, but the explosion blew the microwave door wide open. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Do not put a peeled soft-boiled egg in the microwave for a few seconds to make it hard "boiled". And absolutely do not bite into it. I was badly burned by the exploding egg. Oh no! I'm sorry. :grouphug: This made me think of another one (this is so stupid I can't believe I'm admitting to it): Just because you can heat up your heat therapy bean bag in the microwave for 2 minutes, does not mean that you can heat up a hand towel for 2 minutes as well. The bean bag and the hand towel are not the same. The hand towel will catch fire and will fill your house with smoke for the next hour. You will be lucky not to burn the house down. :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Just because you can heat up your heat therapy bean bag in the microwave for 2 minutes, does not mean that you can heat up a hand towel for 2 minutes as well. The bean bag and the hand towel are not the same. The hand towel will catch fire and will fill your house with smoke for the next hour. You will be lucky not to burn the house down. :blink: Eeek! Microwaves are dangerous! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 When you have a canker sore, remember - vinaigrette contains VINEGAR. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Do not store anything in your oven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Do not store anything in your oven. Oh yes, I've learned that one the hard way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Eeek! Microwaves are dangerous! Yes, they most certainly are. Do not store anything in your oven. LOL. Learned this one the hard way too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Do not store anything in your oven. Yep. RIP whole wheat sourdough starter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 When angry at your spouse, do not throw a glass of milk at him. My mother is STILL cleaning milk off of her furniture (25yrs later). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Less universally applicable, but some of my favorite advice from Jim Croce: You don't tug on Superman's cape You don't spit into the wind You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Jim. Erica in OR I thought it was "you don't mess around with Slim?" Now I gotta go google it ... ETA: Nope, it's Jim. Wonder where I got Slim from?? Maybe too much Hank the Cowdog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I thought it was "you don't mess around with Slim?" Now I gotta go google it ... ETA: Nope, it's Jim. Wonder where I got Slim from?? Maybe too much Hank the Cowdog. It's really "You don't mess around with Remudamom" but he couldn't get it to rhyme. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tranquility7 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Do not put an open bottle of Coke on the edge of a lazy susan on the dining room table and then give the lazy susan the biggest spin you can muster, unless you are seeking immediate hands-on lessons in both centrifugal force and housekeeping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 21, 2013 Author Share Posted February 21, 2013 I thought it was "you don't mess around with Slim?" Now I gotta go google it ... ETA: Nope, it's Jim. Wonder where I got Slim from?? Maybe too much Hank the Cowdog. It's Jim most verses and Slim one verse?? " I am a pool shooting boy my name is Willy McCoy but down home they call me Slim........." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 When you spend all your free time working on your resume and legal stuff for your dad, back it all up and don't just leave it all on the flash drive you will manage to lose somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Oh, and when you work on the washing machine and finish repairing it, please put the drain hose back into the drain pipe behind the machine. Or your wife will blithely start laundry the next day, go downstairs...and shortly thereafter wonder why it is raining in the kitchen! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't put a can of root beer in the freezer "for a few minutes" to chill and forget it overnight. Your mom will be unhappy when she opens the freezer the next day..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 True story, unlikely in your house. Don't let four college boys, no matter how well you like them from church, and whom you had no idea were crashed at your house, sleep on one sofa bed. (No matter that there were sleeping bags and 2 extra twin mattresses in the game room. Go figure.) They'll remember it laughingly for years, as will you, but for different reasons, namely every time you reposition the block that props up the sofa bed frame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Do not store anything in your oven. Especially bullets. Woman 'shot' and wounded as she cooks a snack after bullets left in her OVEN explode :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Oh, my gosh, you guys! These are all so funny! Here are my words to live by: Do not iron on the couch. (Ask my sister about this one.) Do not assume the Inflato-Raft from Walmart is sturdy enough to be pulled behind a speedboat. The rope will get tangled around your ankle and you will be dragged through the lake that way! (Fortunately, not very far. Super DH got the boat stopped and dove in to untangle me!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Do not assume the Inflato-Raft from Walmart is sturdy enough to be pulled behind a speedboat. The rope will get tangled around your ankle and you will be dragged through the lake that way! (Fortunately, not very far. Super DH got the boat stopped and dove in to untangle me!) OMgoodness, it's funny to envision, but you are incredibly blessed not to have been seriously injured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 OMgoodness, it's funny to envision, but you are incredibly blessed not to have been seriously injured. I know! Thank goodness it was over 20 yrs. ago, so I can say I was young and stupid... :blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't step out barefoot into the dark to "see" why your dog is barking. He may have left you a present - like a warm, squishy, half-eaten 'possum. My left foot still gets grossed out when I think of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Don't step out barefoot into the dark to "see" why your dog is barking. He may have left you a present - like a warm, squishy, half-eaten 'possum. My left foot still gets grossed out when I think of it. :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 No matter how cold it is outside, do not try to kick that little glob of chicken poop off the porch step. It will not be completely frozen. Do not wear a white top to an spaghetti dinner. Don't get too excited when you see a fabulous pair of shoes on an incredible sale - they will not be your size. Especially not Ariats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Especially bullets. Woman 'shot' and wounded as she cooks a snack after bullets left in her OVEN explode :huh: Ahem, I kid you not, someone in my family did that trying to encase a bullet in a mold full of clear plexiglass material to make a paperweight. Apparently, you had to bake the goo to get it to set up.? Kids in the 50s lived more adventuresome lives, I tell ya. It's a wonder there is a current generation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Do not assume your young boys will figure out how to aim on their own. Moms, you KWIM. Do not try to compute and drink coffee at the same time on the same table. (This may only apply to me.) Do not trust small boys with pocket-clearing laundry duties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Do not get cozy in the big chair in front of the t.v. w/a bowl of Cheerios. You'll be overcome by an involuntary shiver because it's so cold in your house, and Cheerios, milk, and banana will go down your blanket and onto the floor. :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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