MommiNEnd Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 3 year old boy constantly getting into the same places he knows he is not supposed to get into. Constantly doing the same things day after day that we continually tell him "no". We ask him "are you supposed to be in there?" and he says "no" Does he have a behavior problem? or a learning problem? or is this just what 3 year old boys are like? Its like he never learns a lesson, even if he gets hurt time and time again , doing the thing that we say no to. Hes burned himself several times on pots because he want stay away from the stove. I just dont understand why its not "clicking". Hes very bright in all other areas, except the ones that involve boundaries, saying "no", rules, avoiding harm, and consquences. help please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arboreal TJ Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 No help here but I can commensurate! I honestly think it's an impulse thing, they can't control their impulses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 This reminds me of a girl who use to live near us. She could not figure out to not walk in-front of the swings. I think she had to get hit and knocked off her feet bout 20 times before she got it. For her she was just stubborn and was sure if she just kept trying she could stop the laws of physics and make the swings stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 LOL As DH would say about our boys, "Normal. We have to fix it, but, yeah, it's normal." BOYS!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in SC Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I think it's more of a developmental issue. I don't think. It has anything to do with being a "boy" thing. Of course, this is purely anecdotal, but, out of my four children, I have had one girl and one boy who have been excellent "listeners" and have always been "naturally" skilled at impulse control. I've also had one girl and one boy who have been less than stellar in these areas. With these children, it was necessary to have lots of patience, be willing to repeat myself often, and set up ways to prevent injury when they were young. With the possibility of serious injury in the kitchen, for instance, think of ways to prevent his access to the range when you're cooking. Physically gating the kitchen entrance, having someone else present and engaging him with an activity while you are cooking, etc. would be an approach that might be necessary for a time. Yes, he needs to learn to control his impulses, and you can continue to work on that, but he needs to be protected from potentially dangerous situations in the meantime. Hugs! This is definitely a challenging time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommiNEnd Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 I think it's more of a developmental issue. I don't think. It has anything to do with being a "boy" thing. Of course, this is purely anecdotal, but, out of my four children, I have had one girl and one boy who have been excellent "listeners" and have always been "naturally" skilled at impulse control. I've also had one girl and one boy who have been less than stellar in these areas. With these children, it was necessary to have lots of patience, be willing to repeat myself often, and set up ways to prevent injury when they were young. With the possibility of serious injury in the kitchen, for instance, think of ways to prevent his access to the range when you're cooking. Physically gating the kitchen entrance, having someone else present and engaging him with an activity while you are cooking, etc. would be an approach that might be necessary for a time. Yes, he needs to learn to control his impulses, and you can continue to work on that, but he needs to be protected from potentially dangerous situations in the meantime. Hugs! This is definitely a challenging time. I put a gate up but he climbs over it. He pushes the chair over to the stove, and i am constantly pushing him on the chair away, he is relentless. I have tried to get him to "help". But he touches the pot by accident. I tell him, watch the pot while your stirring. and he'll stir a few times and then stare off somewhere else, and burn himself. Even after burning himself he will not want to get down. Other times I tell him i dont need his help and he gets mad and tries to help anyways. Alot of times i just have to put him in his room, because i can't keep him away. And i have to cook food not wrestle a very strong willed and physically strong toddler away from the stove. He knows his ABCs Hes memorized large passages of scripture he can count and knows his numbers some sign language hes very engaging socially he figures out other things after only seeing it one time, like working the dvd player etc. or doing laundry I just dont know why hes not learning this other common sense stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I agree that it's impulse control and he'll just have to grow out of it. I would keep him out of the kitchen when I was cooking though. If he climbs over the fence, just keep putting him back over. He'll get tired of it eventually! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Even children with diagnosed deficiencies in impulse control get better over time, especially with proper interventions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UrbanSue Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Sounds like normal 3yo behavior to me. Or I'm 3 for 3 on "learning challenged" kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 In my experience, this behavior is more related to personality than gender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Sounds like a bright and inquisitive three year old. I don't think 'boy' has much to do with it, but it does sound typical for a smart three year old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 A smart three year old can be really tiring, lol. When my son was a toddler at night when he went to bed I used to just collapse and say, "Thank you, God, that he's still alive." My ds is also highly intelligent, but had serious boundary issues. He never liked to raise his hand in Sunday School or home school coop. This drove teachers crazy, because lots of people put their kids in coop to learn things like raising hands. I really worked with him on it, but he was 11 before he would consistently behave in a classroom environment. Your ds is probably going to wear you out short term, but make you very, very proud someday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 In my experience, this behavior is more related to personality than gender. See, now, I agree with this. It's just my experience that more boys than girls are likely to have this personality. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I have two girls and yeah, it's pretty normal. I have often said that my children have the common sense of ice cubes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Sounds like normal 3 year old behavior to me. I have always felt that the 3 age was much harder than the 2's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UrbanSue Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Sounds like normal 3 year old behavior to me. I have always felt that the 3 age was much harder than the 2's. We've never understood the Terrible Two's, either. I guess it seemed challenging the first time. But our 3yos have always been so much harder. I thought my last 3yo would be the death of me. He's been four almost a month and things are finally starting to improve. But we've got another 3yo in training . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama27 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 3 year old boy constantly getting into the same places he knows he is not supposed to get into. Constantly doing the same things day after day that we continually tell him "no". We ask him "are you supposed to be in there?" and he says "no" Does he have a behavior problem? or a learning problem? or is this just what 3 year old boys are like? Its like he never learns a lesson, even if he gets hurt time and time again , doing the thing that we say no to. Hes burned himself several times on pots because he want stay away from the stove. I just dont understand why its not "clicking". Hes very bright in all other areas, except the ones that involve boundaries, saying "no", rules, avoiding harm, and consquences. help please. 2 of my boys are like this. Really, I think it's a boy thing. I comfort myself by telling myself that boys like this are the brave ones that do great things when they are grown. Or wind up on reality tv... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 This thread cracks me up! I also have TWO of these. :lol: I've literally saved my son's life twice. I could tell you all kinds of stories about my son. When he was 3, I sat in the car and cried in a store parking lot, because he was so out of control. He literally took off running in the parking lot and I couldn't catch him. I was putting the baby (when my 8 yro was a baby) in her carseat and he opened the door of the van, jumped out and started sprinting away through the parked cars. Who does that???? Also, if there was a piece of furniture/bookshelf, he would climb it. If there was a car coming, he would run out in the street. My husband and I started having nightmares about him being hit by a car. When we were driving in the car, he would figure out how to escape from his carseat and jump around in the backseat. I would have to pull over and it would be a fight to the death to get him back in his carseat. The neighborhood kids thought he was the shiznit, because one time - after his bath (when he was about 3) - he ran out the front door naked and ran down the street of our cul-de-sac - laughing and looking behind him to see if I was following. In a nutshell, he was a NUT. :cheers2: Not sure if this makes you feel any better, but my son is 10 now and is an awesome dude. Very calm. I was soooo proud of him yesterday, because he tested for his red belt in Tae Kwon Do. He's going to be a black belt this summer. Also, at our last tournament, he took 1st place in weapons. :coolgleamA: He spent all evening yesterday building some huge Halo Lego spaceship - it took him HOURS of focusing/concentrating to build this thing. It gets better!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama27 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 This thread cracks me up! I also have TWO of these. :lol: I've literally saved my son's life twice. I could tell you all kinds of stories about my son. When he was 3, I sat in the car and cried in a store parking lot, because he was so out of control. He literally took off running in the parking lot and I couldn't catch him. I was putting the baby (when my 8 yro was a baby) in her carseat and he opened the door of the van, jumped out and started sprinting away through the parked cars. Who does that???? Also, if there was a piece of furniture/bookshelf, he would climb it. If there was a car coming, he would run out in the street. My husband and I started having nightmares about him being hit by a car. When we were driving in the car, he would figure out how to escape from his carseat and jump around in the backseat. I would have to pull over and it would be a fight to the death to get him back in his carseat. The neighborhood kids thought he was the shiznit, because one time - after his bath (when he was about 3) - he ran out the front door naked and ran down the street of our cul-de-sac - laughing and looking behind him to see if I was following. In a nutshell, he was a NUT. :cheers2: Not sure if this makes you feel any better, but my son is 10 now and is an awesome dude. Very calm. I was soooo proud of him yesterday, because he tested for his red belt in Tae Kwon Do. He's going to be a black belt this summer. Also, at our last tournament, he took 1st place in weapons. :coolgleamA: He spent all evening yesterday building some huge Halo Lego spaceship - it took him HOURS of focusing/concentrating to build this thing. It gets better!!! The running thing, yea, 2 of my boys did it. My youngest girl did it a few times. My 7 yo has finally stopped trying to take off but I have to hold onto him ALL the time we are out of the house. If i can't then one of his siblings grabs him. Mostly now we hold onto him because he will get into stuff like a 3 year old. He's very immature. And hyper. And easily distracted. And impulsive. And... I looked on a web site and answered a basic questionare aboyt the symptoms for ADHD and he has all of them. He proudly tells everyone who will listen (and those who won't) that he has all the ADHD's. He has no clue what that even means. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Does he have a behavior problem? or a learning problem? or is this just what 3 year old boys are like? I never blame character or learning issues on either age or gender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 he sounds normal for an intelligent child. They are hard work. If he is still doing it when he is six look into it further. Otherwise breathe and try to get enough food, exercise and sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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