Faithr Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 I have been grappling with this since we found out this past summer. Seems like every day I get up and go through this emotional roller coaster of worry, frustration, sorrow and finally talking myself down into a more pragmatic, determined -to- be- optimistic mindset. Anyway, I was searching around on the internet and came upon this advice which really hit home for me. Tips for Parents of Teens with Aspergers Syndrome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Lea Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Thank you!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachnut Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Faithr, I haven't been on this forum in a while but just saw your message. First, let me thank you for the link to that awesome article. It's one of the most helpful things I've read so far, and I've been doing TONS of reading up on Asperger's this past year. Second, I'm in the same boat -- just found out last summer that DS15 has Asperger's. It's been very emotional (mostly for me, not so much for my son) and very frustrating (again...me) trying to readjust our approach to high school, re-think our DS's plans for college, etc. It feels very over-whelming many days, trying to juggle typical high school/college planning stuff and therapy appointments, social skills training, etc. Would love to connect with you -- and any other parents of Aspie teens -- to share insights, resources, frustrations, etc. Some days all I need is someone to talk me down from the ledge. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithr Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 Oh, I am so glad that article helped you. I am feeling especially at a loss today. My 14 yo is so resistant to any academic study at all. I am worn down. Today he goes into to shadow at a school because I seriously do not know if I have the energy to continue to homeschool him. He is very unhappy with me right now. The school is especially for kids like him. It is horribly expensive but we do have a college fund which we can use. We are thinking he'll never get to college if we don't do something about things right now, so the money may be better spent on high school anyway. But we are not a happy household right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachnut Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Oh, I am so glad that article helped you. I am feeling especially at a loss today. My 14 yo is so resistant to any academic study at all. I am worn down. Today he goes into to shadow at a school because I seriously do not know if I have the energy to continue to homeschool him. He is very unhappy with me right now. The school is especially for kids like him. It is horribly expensive but we do have a college fund which we can use. We are thinking he'll never get to college if we don't do something about things right now, so the money may be better spent on high school anyway. But we are not a happy household right now. Aw, hugs! Had one of those days just this week. It can be VERY frustrating. My husband & I have contemplated sending DS back to public school for 11th & 12th grades, because my frustration levels have been so high. But really, that would benefit ME more than my son. Academically, he's capable of handling challenging courses (he's taking pre-calculus and chemistry honors right now, earning a B in both). However, taking these same courses in public school would mean lots of nightly homework, rigid schedules, lots of different deadlines, assignments, papers, projects, & tests, with no wiggle room to accomodate for his weak executive functioning skills. So our flexible homeschooling has allowed us to focus on learning strategies for planning, prioritizing, time management, scheduling, study skills, etc. Is your son willing to do any online courses (thus taking the burden from you & holding him accountable to someone else's deadlines and requirements)? My DS takes 2 courses thru Florida Virtual School (actually, the math & science courses noted above) and does well. I still have to help him with some organizational tasks (planning, scheduling, time management, etc.), but all the course content, labs, tests, etc., are out of my hands. If he doesn't like something within the course or the school/teacher policy, I tell him to call his teacher & tell him about it. (That always stops the complaining. He realizes it's not ME setting the requirments.) In the end, you've just got to do what you know in your heart would be best for your son at this time in his life. If he's very resistant to anything you want him to do, it's hard to get past that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I'm here with you. My son was diagnosed at 14, and I feel like we lost so many years. He is very resistant to learning organizational & time management skills - I don't even know where to begin to get him there. My son is taking driver's ed right now - we delayed it 1 1/2 years. He's done the classroom and started the driving portion today. When I picked him up, he said it was nerve wracking, but he was grinning from ear to ear, so I hope that he does well. This is a very good article, thanks for posting it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachnut Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I'm here with you. My son was diagnosed at 14, and I feel like we lost so many years. He is very resistant to learning organizational & time management skills - I don't even know where to begin to get him there. I cross-posted this on the high school board a few months ago, but in case you didn't see it, there is a great series of 45-minute lectures here given by a college professor teaching study skills. He's really good and addresses the followiing topics: Improving Listening Skills, Habits of Successful College Students, Organizing Your Study Time, Taking Better Lecture Notes, How to Predict Test Questions, Preparing for Tests, Test-Taking Skills, How to Remember For Tests, Memory Tricks, Great Ways to Study, The website also includes some printable handouts you can use. My DS is very resistant to MY attempts to organize him, but this guy seems to work for DS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Thanks for the link, beechnut - I'll take a look at that. Have any of you read any of these books and found them helpful or not helpful? Smart But Scattered Teens The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job On Your Own: A College Readiness Guide for Teens with ADHD/LD College Success for Students with Learning Disabilities LIfe After High School: A Guide for Students with Disabilities and their Families The Autism Transition Guide: Planning the Journey from School to Adult Life Social Behavior and Self Management: 5 Point Scale for Adolescents and Adults Hygiene and Related Behaviors for Children and Adolescents with Autism Spectrum and Related Disorders Socially Curious, Curiously Social: A Social Thinking Guidebook for Bright Teens and Young Adults Preparing for Life: The Complete Guide for Transitioning to Adulthood for those with Autism and Aspergers Fighting Invisible Tigers: Stress Management for Teens Asperger Syndrome: An Owner's Manual 2 for Older Adolescents and Adults Asperger Syndrome in Adolescence: Living with the Ups, the Downs and Things in Between Asperger's On the Job: Must Have Advice for People with Asperger's or High Functioning Autism and their Employers, Educators and Advocates. Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management Asperger Syndrome and Adolescence: Helping Preteens and Teens Get Ready for the Real World A 5 is Against the Law Social Boundaries: Straight Up An Honest Guide for Teens and Young Adults Asperger Download: A Guide to Help Teenage Males with Asperger Syndrome Trouble Shoot Life's Challenges Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithr Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 Oh my! That is a great list of books! I am going to be gleaning through them. My son was wiped out by the end of the school day. He said he can't imagine having to get up and do that every day. But the thing is he desperately needs the structure. He does nothing independently. Nothing. I think he needs to have to get up at a set time every day and go somewhere and be responsible to someone other than his mother. He was really hungry so I took him for some fries and after he had loosened up he started telling his sister about his day. It sounded neat. She was actually getting jealous. LOL! I don't know. I am thinking maybe just a year at school, so that he sees how the other side lives and then maybe bring him home again if it seems right? Right now though it just doesn't seem tenable to keep him home. I just don't know where I am going to get the energy and I don't see how we will get anything accomplished. Today was so peaceful. In the a.m. my 11 yo and I did school peacefully for a couple of hours. We got so much done because I didn't have to stop every two minutes to check on him, cajole him, argue with him, etc, , then I did some cleaning and took her to her gymnastics class. No tension at all. A very pleasant day. Oh and a miracle! My son who hates reading and will never read anything for me without a huge fight, said that he thought the English class was cool. The teacher had the kids make facebook pages for the characters in the books they were reading. My son thought that was the coolest idea ever. When he said that I had this sinking feeling and thought to myself, I just don't have it in me right now to be that creative with him. I have never, ever heard him say anything positive about any reading activity (and he struggles with reading comprehension which he hates)! So that kind of clinched it for me. But it is a private school so they have to officially accept him. They may not. He says he is the highest functioning kid there in their very small 7th/8th grade class. We'll see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachnut Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Have any of you read any of these books and found them helpful or not helpful? Socially Curious, Curiously Social: A Social Thinking Guidebook for Bright Teens and Young Adults Preparing for Life: The Complete Guide for Transitioning to Adulthood for those with Autism and Aspergers DS15 is reading "Socially Curious" and says he likes it -- gives him a better understanding of social expectations and how he thinks differently. I bought "Preparing for Life" and plan to use it soon with DS. It looks really good & covers the following topics: nonverbal cues/body language, dealing w/ anger/frustration, dealing w/ anxiety, conversation, building & maintaining friendships (and dealing w/ roommates), dating, dealing w/ school & family demands, employment skills, money matters, preparing for emergencies, transportation. There are a total of 73 lessons under the major topics. (Note: the last 3 topics are only briefly covered.) It's written in an easy-to-use format for every lesson, where 1st you read about the topic (rationale, real-life examples, what to do about it). Then there's an activity page (teaching, generalization priming, facilitated practice, review). It's a tangible, step-by-step approach that looks very doable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly in VA Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 THANK YOU!!! Looking for something that my 18yo dd will look at/listen to before heading to college in the fall. She is a bright kid, but I've never known anyone so resistant to organizational skills! I get that she's a teen, and I get that she's an Aspie, but this is so frustrating and worrisome to me. I just discovered today that throughout 2 CC composition classes, when she was reporting to us that the professor was giving her back compositions with grades but no feedback, it turns out he was imbedding feedback in the electronic documents, but she didn't open them b/c she thought she didn't need to, since she had copies of her papers on her desktop. Also, she doesn't keep ANY of her graded work in either a paper folder or a desktop folder, for any class, b/c she says it isn't her job to record grades. (I'll be she'll feel differently the first time a paper or test gets lost or recorded incorrectly by a professor, but why can't she take this simple organizational step now?!!) I knew she wasn't organizing her work at home, but I hoped that the CC experience would force her to be more organized; apparently not. Co-op situations haven't helped, the Teaching Company Superstar Student class didn't help (although it was great for my 16yo!), CC classes haven't helped. This is a kid who has to learn by the school of hard knocks, I guess, but it's still frustrating. Anyway, thank you all for the links and resources! They'll be helpful with all my kids, and hopefully something will click for my oldest. :thumbup1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 THANK YOU!!! Looking for something that my 18yo dd will look at/listen to before heading to college in the fall. You just made me think of something - I went back to the social group and changed the description so that it includes college. Glad to see you joined & I'm looking forward to getting to know everything when the social groups are up & running. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 Wow, you've greatly increased my reading list! Thanks for the link, beechnut - I'll take a look at that. Have any of you read any of these books and found them helpful or not helpful? Smart But Scattered Teens The Hidden Curriculum of Getting and Keeping a Job On Your Own: A College Readiness Guide for Teens with ADHD/LD College Success for Students with Learning Disabilities LIfe After High School: A Guide for Students with Disabilities and their Families The Autism Transition Guide: Planning the Journey from School to Adult Life Social Behavior and Self Management: 5 Point Scale for Adolescents and Adults Hygiene and Related Behaviors for Children and Adolescents with Autism Spectrum and Related Disorders Socially Curious, Curiously Social: A Social Thinking Guidebook for Bright Teens and Young Adults Preparing for Life: The Complete Guide for Transitioning to Adulthood for those with Autism and Aspergers Fighting Invisible Tigers: Stress Management for Teens Asperger Syndrome: An Owner's Manual 2 for Older Adolescents and Adults Asperger Syndrome in Adolescence: Living with the Ups, the Downs and Things in Between Asperger's On the Job: Must Have Advice for People with Asperger's or High Functioning Autism and their Employers, Educators and Advocates. Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management Asperger Syndrome and Adolescence: Helping Preteens and Teens Get Ready for the Real World A 5 is Against the Law Social Boundaries: Straight Up An Honest Guide for Teens and Young Adults Asperger Download: A Guide to Help Teenage Males with Asperger Syndrome Trouble Shoot Life's Challenges Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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