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What to do about The Fussy Cello Man?


Susan in TN
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I brought 3 of my kids to the local symphony children's concert this morning and before the concert they held an "instrument petting zoo" where kids could try out different instruments. We went to the string section and since my ds8 plays the cello, he was of course drawn to the cello station :) .

 

So when it was his turn he sat down at the edge of the chair and waited for the "cello man" to hand him the cello. And when he did so, ds took the neck and put the cello into playing position as best he could despite the fact that the man had insisted that ds sit back in the chair so his feet were dangling. Ds, who was just so happy about getting to play the cello at the concert hall, told the man that he knew how to play the cello, and instead of a smile and "oh isn't that nice", the man got irate and said in a very angry voice "No, you DO NOT know how to play the cello! I can tell because you are holding it WRONG!" :confused:

 

Well, as you can imagine, I was pretty shocked at this and held the cello scroll out to the man and said "OK, I think we're done here" and we left the area pretty quick-like.

 

I can understand some flustering if it were a chaotic and crowded and noisy time, but it wasn't any of those things. My kids weren't being rude or wild or irresponsible around the instruments.

 

And normally, I'd email the director of the group that conducts these events and let them know what had happened, but there's a little catch. My older son is applying/auditioning for a scholarship sponsored by this same group. And I'm a little worried that they'll connect the names and that it will influence their evaluation.

 

I normally don't send anonymous complaints, but I'm a little tempted to in this situation. Or I could just leave it alone. WWYD?

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As a professional musician, I would say you should absolutely send an anonymous email.

 

These acts of community outreach are near and dear to the hearts of many- probably even most- musicians today. They generally receive absolutely zero training in how to do it.

 

If this person is THAT bad at it, they should be no where near the kids. Also, the symphony might consider using "loaner" celli for these events so his gazillion-dollar baby isn't being used for such purposes.

 

So sorry about your experience, I hope your kiddo was able to shrug it off and move on.

 

Here's a little cello loving present in case you haven't seen it yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgAlQuqzl8o

 

ETA: Ps, was it Nashville Symphony? If so, I have friends there who would be interested to know about your experience.

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As a professional musician, I would say you should absolutely send an anonymous email.

 

These acts of community outreach are near and dear to the hearts of many- probably even most- musicians today. They generally receive absolutely zero training in how to do it.

 

If this person is THAT bad at it, they should be no where near the kids. Also, the symphony might consider using "loaner" celli for these events so his gazillion-dollar baby isn't being used for such purposes.

 

So sorry about your experience, I hope your kiddo was able to shrug it off and move on.

 

 

ETA: Ps, was it Nashville Symphony? If so, I have friends there who would be interested to know about your experience.

 

Thanks - yes, it was the Nashville Symphony. The cello itself was I think a 1/2 size laminate, so not something that will be damaged easily. Thanks for the video - those guys are great!

 

I think ds will be fine - he has mild aspergers so things could go either way, but he wasn't too upset last night telling Daddy about "the fussy cello man". My daughters who were with me were almost more upset for ds than anything.

 

I'll also add that everyone else at the event was really nice and patient and seemed to be having fun with it.

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I would let it go. Some people are grumpy, especially some older people. He might have been agitated by anxiety about the instruments. While it sounds unpleasant, it also sounds mild. Your kids will learn to deal graciously with grumpy people. I would let it be a teaching opportunity and would let it go.

 

 

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anonymous complaint...because even though we want to think people are above this, it just might damage your application process. I've played concerts where the audience is allowed to come up, try out the instruments, ask questions, etc. It's expected that you promote, not discourage the curiousity.

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I was chatting with my friend and mentioned this in the most general terms. Not sure if he'll take it to the outreach director, or not. They would probably appreciate it if you let them know, but I completely understand if you don't bother.

 

They do kids concerts often enough that Mr. Grumpy Pants will probably get an earful at some point. Hope eldest gets the scholarship!

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