Discouraged about Math

[lil' maids in a row]

My oldest dd is a tough kid to teach. She has a very difficult time handling ANY level of frusteration. Even when I am sitting right beside her encouraging her and telling her that we are going to work through the challenging problem, sentence, spelling word etc. together. Nowhere is this more evident than in math. If she doesn't immediately know a flash card - she shuts down, if she doesn't immediately know how to do a problem - she shuts down, if a new approach doesn't click immediately - she shuts down. No matter how much I reassure her that "we can take it slow", "we can do it together," "we can try it a different way" etc. she still shuts down, melts down or zones out.

 

This has caused us to have to move very slowly through our math book. In fact just a month ago after an excruciating semester with Singapore, we switched to MEP. Instead of picking up with the second semester of Year 1, I just started the whole year from the beginning.

 

Math has gone MUCH better. MEP has more teacher guidance so I am doing a better job. It has more activities, movement, songs so dd has more fun. It has fewer problems per day so there is less cause for frustration. All good. But......

 

My first grader is behind already. She is only in the first grade and she is already behind. This is so discouraging to me. I have no idea how to fix it. If I push the slightest bit dd just falls to pieces.

 

So what do I do? Keep on going from here and move ahead where we can? Hire some kind of outside tutoring because obviously I'm not cutting the mustard? Jump ahead in the curriculum and just face the meltdowns?

 

:sad: Any advice?

[kareng]

lil' maids in a row,

Could you tell me so more information about your home schooling? How old are your children? How long have you been home schooling? You've mentioned some things that you've used in Math for your oldest? What about your first grader? Are there other children in addition to those two?

More information might help others respond more intelligently :-)

 

Thanks.

[lil' maids in a row]

Thank you! My oldest is six (nearly 7), she is the first grader. My younger children are 5 and almost 4. We have homeschooled since preschool.

Our other subjects are successful. Reading is going well as is writing, science and history.

 

Let me know if there is more info that would be helpful.

[NittanyJen]

How much time do you spend on school per day? What subjects? Are you trying mostly WTM style, eclectic, or some other approach?

 

When you speak to her, does she get the git of what you say, but ever mix up specific words? (Insist you said something you did not say) or does she retell accurately for her age? Any speech delays or physical delays?

 

As a six year old, she's not really behind yet. Many kids aren't tackling first until age 7 these days, so if it helps to de-stress, you can start off by not worrying about the schedule by age ;). Help us get to know her a bit, and if we can give you any strategies, we shall.

 

 

[UrbanSue]

Oh, don't stress about it. Singapore and MEP are both challenging programs. She is definitely not behind. The best thing about homeschooling is that you don't need to get hung up with matching up the level of your book with the "grade level" of your child. If she were in a large classroom setting you may well need to worry about her falling behind. But the beauty of you educating her at home is that you are meeting her right where she is at and instead of her missing stuff and being caught for, perhaps, years in a endless cycle of math failure, you are keeping her moving forward. You are actually teaching her!

 

You might have a curriculum problem--there are a million math curriculum threads here. I've only ever used Singapore and we love it but I use the Home Instructor Guides and the Standards Edition. There is a ton of teacher guidance there, math games to play, enrichment activities to do. It is really the heart of Singapore. So you might have given up on Singapore without giving it a fair shake (no worries--lots of people do, including me when I began).

 

But more than likely your dd just needs a bit more time laying the groundwork for elementary math. She may speed up once she feels solid and confident with everything. Just keep plugging along at her speed and try not to fret too much about grade level for now.

[dbmamaz]

Dont worry about being behind! attitude is a lot more important than work at this age. Spend some time over the summer with math readers instead of curriculum, so she can be introduced to concepts in a totally non-threatening way before she has to do any work. a lot of the first few years of math can be covered by games and stories and living math. check out kitchen table math, or the website livingmath.net Getting your daughter happy about math will help her catch up more than stress or pushing will!

[kwg]

She isn't behind! Behind what? Behind whom? It is fine! When mine was that little he did not really know about summer breaks so we did school all year- even of it was "light" school before the pool. Just keep plugging along and she will be fine!

 

Glad to hear you found something that works! I would not push it since she is already sensitive to it.

[Susie in MS]

I have gotten tired of brain freeze, blood, sweat and tears and decided to go with Arithmetic Village for a while. It appeals to my dd's sense of adventure through whimsical tales. Using a "treasure chest" with "bags of gems" for manipulatives is just too much for me to pass up.

[Deee]

My son is very similar to your daughter. He's now 12. We switched to MEP because he was balking at another maths program, hugely frustrated and thought himself an idiot. MEP has been fantastic. We started in yr6 last year and backtracked when we found something we hadn't covered. We will finish yr6 in term 3 of our year 7, leaving us a term to cover anything in the Australian syllabus that we have missed and to revise and firm up anything that he isn't solid on. We will then move on to MEP 9. My understanding is that Yrs 7 and 8 of MEP are basically a rehash of the primary syllabus and are written for kids who haven't used MEP before. This will put DS on par or ahead of the Australian syllabus. MEP 6 covers lots of high school work, including directed numbers and algebra. So, your daughter will not be behind at all if you stick with MEP. She'll actually be ahead.

D

[lil' maids in a row]

How much time do you spend on school per day? What subjects? Are you trying mostly WTM style, eclectic, or some other approach? We are working on Sonlight Core 1 and Core P4/5 this year. We spend about three hours on school. Much of our school time involves me reading to the kids, which they love. We spend about 45 min on math. This involves a fun math fact practice before breakfast (wrap-ups, file folder games, hot dots, egg carton games, learning games on the kindle), and about 20-30 minutes on our actual math lesson later in the day.

 

When you speak to her, does she get the git of what you say, but ever mix up specific words? (Insist you said something you did not say) or does she retell accurately for her age? Any speech delays or physical delays? She is actually remarkably good at narration type activities, and has no delays. She is seems very capable of doing all the work that I have presented her with and does a great job when she keeps her cool. She is incredibly sensitive about clothing, food, transitions etc, and she has a very low tolerance for any frusteration (we have observed this since she was a baby). I am seeing progress and growing maturity and improving coping skills, but it is slow in coming.

 

As a six year old, she's not really behind yet. Many kids aren't tackling first until age 7 these days, so if it helps to de-stress, you can start off by not worrying about the schedule by age ;). Help us get to know her a bit, and if we can give you any strategies, we shall. Thank you. I think that I posted during one of THOSE moments (the ones where you feel overwhelmed and discouraged). I think that I am afraid that this pattern will continue and in a few years we will be VERY behind.

[Hunter]

I suggest reading Sam Blumenfeld's chapter on math in How to Tutor. Here is the Kindle version. He advocates a narrower scope of topics than is now in fashion. Less topics means more time to spend on the most important ones. What I do is teach arithmetic with texts and worksheets to the point of mastery. I merely introduce but all the other math strands with picture books and toys.

 

Professor B is a narrow curriculum that is worth looking at.

 

Now that Arithmetic Village is so cheap, that is a good option to get a student back on track.

 

I like the new Simply Charlotte Mason math book available as an inexpensive ebook. the author writes about the importance of limiting time spent on math and not over-prioritizing it.

[letsplaymath]

Oh, goodness, I hope you were joking when you said your daughter was "behind"! In first grade, there is no such thing as "behind" in math.

 

Mathematics is a huge subject, covering so very much more than the schoolish rule-and-memory-oriented arithmetic that most of us are used to. If your daughter is getting frustrated with the math you are doing, then try something completely different. Play with shapes and symmetry, or take a pattern-hunting walk around your house or neighborhood. You will never run out of mathy things to learn!

 

Read over several of the back-posts on these two blogs for a variety of wonderful ideas:

• Moebius Noodles
  
• The Map Is Not the Territory
  

[almondbutterandjelly]

As a word of encouragement, I stopped worrying about my child being behind in math when I heard about Basic College Math books, that cover in one year absolutely all essential math prior to Algebra. Addtion, subtraction, multiplication, division, fractions, decimals, percents. Most 7th grade math books cover similar topics also. They cover everything, just quicker. Well, that gives you several years to touch on those topics and learn them. There is no behind, really. I personally found that my child needed to age into some math concepts. What she struggled with in first was easily mastered a couple years later. So no worries. Try to focus on enjoying math together. You have plenty of time.

[blondeviolin]

I agree that you're not "behind." If it makes you feel any better, all of my daughter's agemates are basically working on memorizing math facts to ten, for the entire year.

 

Are you letting her use manipulatives? C rods are great. I often ask my daughter to "show me" or "build it." They are perfect for her to show me how she's approaching the problem, even if she doesn't have the words to explain what she's doing. If there's an error in her calculations, 95% of the time she'll catch it with the rods. At this point she doesn't use them often, but they're always accessible.

[mamamindy]

She is actually remarkably good at narration type activities, and has no delays. She is seems very capable of doing all the work that I have presented her with and does a great job when she keeps her cool. She is incredibly sensitive about clothing, food, transitions etc, and she has a very low tolerance for any frusteration (we have observed this since she was a baby). I am seeing progress and growing maturity and improving coping skills, but it is slow in coming.

 

You described my oldest (almost 7yo) daughter. You are not alone. :grouphug:

 

My daughter is a perfectionist, very bright, and does not like to get anything wrong. This has been difficult for her (us!) when she encounters anything new. With math, I have found that stopping where we're frustrated, planning the next day for games (that practice the procedure/skill causing trouble), or video (we have found the education unboxed videos to be very helpful, especially when we need a break from the text) and then revisit it when she's got more confidence. OR, we will go back and do some review (using a workbook of some kind) of concepts that she's already mastered. Something to give her some confidence so she'll be ready to tackle the "new". Does that help any?

 

And I want to echo others that your daughter is not behind! I know that's easy for me to say, and I often worry myself, but I then realize myself that I'm actually still learning. What is behind, anyway?? I have realized that my concerns for my daughter (to not get "behind", for example) put undue pressure on her to perform, and then we're just doomed when she doesn't feel like she can do it right. Just my experiences.

 

Everyone has given you such great advice. I hope some of this helps!