have you ever felt excluded by other homeschoolers?

[violamama]

 

Or let their daughters play Minecraft. I am shocked at the eye brow raising and reaction when people find out I let her play Minecraft. What's the big deal?? LOL

 

 

Okay, this says more about me than her/you, but I find it kind of delightful to juxtapose the picture of her with the pumpkins and the awesome smile with playing Minecraft. I actually love that about homeschoolers. They tend to automatically be more independent, even the ones who hold tightly to particular world views (whether religious or curricular). Independence can be experienced as exclusion, I suppose.

[PachiSusan]

 

Okay, this says more about me than her/you, but I find it kind of delightful to juxtapose the picture of her with the pumpkins and the awesome smile with playing Minecraft. I actually love that about homeschoolers. They tend to automatically be more independent, even the ones who hold tightly to particular world views (whether religious or curricular). Independence can be experienced as exclusion, I suppose.

 

That has been true in my daughter's short life. She is regularly excluded because she's not in a particular child's school group, or she plays the babyish My LIttle Ponies, or she still likes fairies - or she plays Minecraft - a BOYS game. She doesn't like most of the books and tv shows the other kids play/watch...so it's an uphill battle for her and a pain in my heart.

[violamama]

Yes, I have and so have my children. Right now we're shunted off as all my kids are too old for the "Let's visit the bakery" trips! And since I DO think girls should have an education, and horrors, might end up in the military, we're anathema. Ran into it this week--lovely hs mom who I was congratulating on her children's perfect behavior during a long concert. She was taken aback when I told her what Navy dd was doing and then just for fun, I mentioned that "That one is in the Army!" The look on her face was priceless!

See, and all it make me want to say is, "Wow, thanks guys!!!"

[Durriyyah]

Everyone in our local community has been quite welcoming and friendly, but I do feel like there's a barrier if I'm in a secular or Christian group. It feels like there are quite a few walls of misunderstanding that need to be broken down before it gets past the friendly neighbor feeling. I think many of these groups assume that Muslims have some groups of their own, so they wonder why an apparently practicing Muslim would be part of their group. The fact is we just don't have the population size concentrated in a small enough area to run the type of programs the other groups are able to run. If we get 5 families together on any given day, that's a huge success... you just don't run full co-ops with those types of numbers, and everyone has young kids so their reliability is not stellar.

 

I almost felt bad when a mom asked if she could join our Muslim homeschooling group even though she wasn't a Muslim. She said she just moved back to the states from Africa and wanted to keep her kids connected to the Muslim community. We looked up her name (I've never had anyone ask to be part of a Muslim group unless they either are thinking of converting, or they want to convert us) and she is a missionary. I told her she's more than welcome to come, but we do want to ensure that her intentions are pure as we want a safe haven for our kids to not feel like a foreigner in their own county, just for a few hours a week. She never did end up coming. I do hope she wasn't offended, but we had to do what we felt was right for our kids.

[myfunnybunch]

Have any of you ever felt excluded, left out, shunned or any other unpleasant situation (no matter how slight) IN REAL LIFE by other homeschoolers?

 

Of course. Homeschoolers are human. We behave the way human beings behave in groups. I am also sure that there have been times when I have inadvertently made someone feel left out, though I can't think of a time when I have ever purposely done so. Now that I think of it, my interactions and experiences with groups haven't really shown me much difference between groups of homeschoolers and groups that aren't based in homeschooling as the common ground. People tend to be mostly nice and polite, with occasional difficult people, and sometimes the group dynamics get unhealthy or exclusive.

 

Have you ever felt excluded based on a difference in religion, politics, worldview, lifestyle etc? Have you had a hard time connecting with homeschoolers in your area because of this?

 

I suppose, though not often. We tend to stick to activities oriented toward a specific purpose (Spanish class, for example) rather than purely social activities. But we don't participate in homeschool activities only. We do some homeschool classes and some classes open to all children/families in the community, and our friendships tend to be about half homeschool-based, half community-based.

 

Do you tend to feel that homeschoolers in your experience are a open, accepting group? Or have you felt like they were a closed group? Closed even to other homeschoolers who did not share a particular opinion or lifestyle etc?

 

The homeschoolers we've developed relationships with are very open and accepting. There are groups in our community that tend to talk badly of "those people," whether than means Christians, or non-Christians, or people who put their poor certain-to-be-damaged children into public school, or people who unschool/classically school/use workbooks/don't use workbooks....you get the drift. I try to stay far, far away from that self-congratulatory "we're doing it right and they're not" vibe.

 

I still remember the time we signed up to go Christmas caroling with the "inclusive" group for people of all faiths and traditions. They had a lot of fun activities and outings planned throughout the year and their main selling point was that they existed to include all community members. I was picturing some Hannukah songs, winter songs, possibly songs from other traditions, and some of the lovely classic Christmas songs....then someone posted to the group, "It will be so great to not have to sing those stupid Christian songs." Several people chimed in to agree. Heh. That was the end of that. (To be fair, I ran into the group leader at the park a few years later, and while we were chatting, she asked why we'd stopped coming. I shared that with her--she was appalled and apologetic.)

 

Do you feel that there are divisions within the homeschooling community (movement) at large? Or do you tend to think of homeschoolers as being a connected, unified community?

 

I see homeschoolers as people who homeschool. Homeschooling is the common factor, but I'm not sure that we're enough of a cohesive movement to really have "divisions."

 

Cat

[PachiSusan]

 

 

I still remember the time we signed up to go Christmas caroling with the "inclusive" group for people of all faiths and traditions. They had a lot of fun activities and outings planned throughout the year and their main selling point was that they existed to include all community members. I was picturing some Hannukah songs, winter songs, possibly songs from other traditions, and some of the lovely classic Christmas songs....then someone posted to the group, "It will be so great to not have to sing those stupid Christian songs." Several people chimed in to agree. Heh. That was the end of that. (To be fair, I ran into the group leader at the park a few years later, and while we were chatting, she asked why we'd stopped coming. I shared that with her--she was appalled and apologetic.)

 

This has always confused me. How is it "all inclusive" if you just delete the Christian part?

[AimeeM]

 

Our secular group is extremely diverse, and what is funny is that we almost never talk about actual schooling. the differences are soooo huge. When I joined, I though, maybe I could talk to people about curricula and get suggestions.... LOL.

I know that if we started discussing schooling methods on a regular basis, our group would explode.

As it is, I acknowledge that most are unschoolers and we are homeschoolers for academic reasons, so I hold my tongue. We just socialize - and that works out nicely for the kids.

 

To be fair, the fall was my fault, I'm sure. I should have made some honest exclusions. What we ended up with were those who didn't qualify for free preschool, so they were only homeschooling preK (a ton of them; making it feel more like a toddler group than a homeschool group sometimes) and those who were so radical in their philosophy that they ambushed the newbs and tried to tell them that *their* way was the *only* way - i.e. the unschoolers would tell the newbs that those academically inclined homeschool families were trying to only emulate school at home and ruining their childrens' childhoods. Eventually everyone broke into cliques. There was also the fact that everybody *wanted* more from the group (like organized classes) but very few wanted to help make it happen (one did). Nobody wanted to pay the dues to help maintain the meetup site, but agreed that the site was the best way to keep up with the group.

I've considered starting another - a support group with get togethers (no organized classes), but I couldn't do it WITHOUT making some exclusions I'm afraid.

[AimeeM]

 

Or let their daughters play Minecraft. I am shocked at the eye brow raising and reaction when people find out I let her play Minecraft. What's the big deal?? LOL

 

I'll see your eye brows raising and show you the jaw drops when people find out my dd reads Harry Potter... and plays COD with daddy. Lol.

[Saddlemomma]

I've never felt excluded. Since we are in such a rural area with a small HS group, it's very cozy and affable. We are all Christians. We never discuss denomination or anything. Our focus is on getting the best education for our kids. There are only 34 homeschool families in our area and the most ladies who were ever present at the meetings I attended were 12. We have a great time with lots of general conversation for up to 45 minutes after the meeting!

[pdalley]

Some real questions rolling around my brain lately.

 

Have any of you ever felt excluded, left out, shunned or any other unpleasant situation (no matter how slight) IN REAL LIFE by other homeschoolers?

 

Have you ever felt excluded based on a difference in religion, politics, worldview, lifestyle etc?

 

Have you had a hard time connecting with homeschoolers in your area because of this?

 

Do you tend to feel that homeschoolers in your experience are a open, accepting group? Or have you felt like they were a closed group? Closed even to other homeschoolers who did not share a particular opinion or lifestyle etc?

 

Do you feel that there are divisions within the homeschooling community (movement) at large? Or do you tend to think of homeschoolers as being a connected, unified community?

 

Thoughts.

 

 

Yes. Most of the local group is into Classical Conversations and it's not a good fit for my boys. They are nice but I don't feel included entirely because we don't do CC.

 

And yes, I just got snippy with someone who was of the "A true Christian only uses _____ curriculum" online a few days ago. Divisions make me break out in hives. I have a similar reaction to all forms of legalism.

 

But I've never really fit in so I stopped expecting to. :)

[Mama Anna]

I haven't read all the replies, but I often feel sort of . . . like I'm not quite fitting in. Of course, I'm used to that because I've never really fit in all my life. This is the way I look at homeschooling (Your POV may be different, and that's fine - this is just what I've worked out in my own mind.):

 

All homeschoolers are on the fringes because the "norm" in our country is public education. In some locations, the fringes are pretty long and their practices are rather widely accepted - these are places where homeschooling is common and doesn't raise very many eyebrows. There are even small pockets of culture where parents are negatively judged because they're not homeschooling - but these pockets themselves tend to be on the fringes of the society as a whole.

 

Those of us who are "fringe people" tend to like to do things our own way and often find that we're on the fringes in more than one way - maybe our diet of choice is unusual or our worldview differs from the "norm" - but we're weird in a couple different ways. (Or more.) This means that I, in my weirdness, am probably not exactly like you in your weirdness - whether or not we can accept each other will depend on how important to each of us our differing weirdnesses are. In my mind, that goes straight back to how accepting of differences in others each of us can individually be, whether it's because of homeschooling, spiritual beliefs, political views, or whatever.

 

Personally, I'd love to find someone whose homeschool priorities are the same as mine, with whom I can discuss curriculum until I'm blue in the face and who will actually sharpen me in my pursuit of educating my dds well. It's been almost 6 years and I'm still looking, but hope springs eternal! :)

 

Mama Anna

[Chrysalis Academy]

Not intentionally excluded, but felt left out, most definitely.

Of all the homeschooling families I know IRL, we are the only ones who homeschool for academics reasons. We have the choice of feeling excluded by people who homeschool for religious reasons, or feeling excluded by people who homeschool/unschool because they object to the institution school.

 

 

This is exactly the situation around here. The homeschoolers are either more vehemently Christian than anyone else I've ever met in this area, or they are unschoolers and think I'm cruel and unusual because we don't spend all our afternoons at the park, or playing paintball or something.

 

It's funny, because seeing as how this is Northern CA, most people are very low-key about their religious beliefs (or at least about talking about them). I honestly have no idea about the religious beliefs, or lack thereof, of most of the parents of kids who go to ps, or even the Catholic school in town! Some of them I've known for years and I don't know if they are religious, or if they are, which one. But with homeschoolers, you find out speedy quick.

[misty.warden]

I am always either the most conservative in the room or the most liberal.

 

This exactly. People who know me from way back in high school like to joke that I got so liberal I went round the twist. I don't edit myself well in company because I don't like the precedent it sets. I don't have a problem disagreeing, just with people who aren't logical and respectful. Social groups in my area so far have been neither.

 

 

 

This has always confused me. How is it "all inclusive" if you just delete the Christian part?

 

Slightly OT, I think of this the way I think of isolated race/heritage history months. You'd think it would be integrated into the regular history books, at least that's what I would do if I wanted to make it inclusive. Maybe people have a hard time getting past the "christian privilege" if it's included with the underrepresented faiths. Or they don't know what the word means :tongue_smilie:

[swellmomma]

Yes, I have and so have my children. Right now we're shunted off as all my kids are too old for the "Let's visit the bakery" trips! And since I DO think girls should have an education, and horrors, might end up in the military, we're anathema. Ran into it this week--lovely hs mom who I was congratulating on her children's perfect behavior during a long concert. She was taken aback when I told her what Navy dd was doing and then just for fun, I mentioned that "That one is in the Army!" The look on her face was priceless!

 

that's hilarious. Initially only ds14 was talking military but now dd13 is leaning that way too. specifically armored, she is hoping to get into her father's old unit but you never know with the army. She already got weird looks from many of the girls because she is so not girly, feminine for sure, but a tough tom boy. When she comes in to activities sporting a broken toe she has just spent 2 hours dancing on talking about beating all the boys at a ruck march in cadets she gets sideways looks. She can't relate to other teen girls in most of the homeschool groups because the talk is always about meeting a husband, and having babies etc, in secular groups it is makeup and music and boys. She wants to talk about climbing trees, shooting at the range, survival training in january and joining the army. The only boys she cares about right now are in her troop and she doesn't have an intrest in dating them. She says she plans on never getting married or having kids, can't be a good soldier as a woman if you do she says, because you shouldn't be gone from your kids like that. Yeah, and the only time she wears a dress is in her heels which oh my goodness I may as well let her dress as a hooker because she wears a 1.5" heel. People are weird. (or at least they think we are)

[justamouse]

I would much rather there be a conduct contract.

 

You will not let your kid climb the dino at the museum and then laugh while he rides the head.

 

You will not ignore your child throwing french fries at the other children while you nom another brownie.

 

You will not let your child bully any of the other children, in a physical or emotional way.

 

You agree to NOT form cliques against other moms who are schooling in a way you disagree with...

 

 

 

THAT kind of stuff is what is needed.

[LucyStoner]

I haven't really sought out enough other homeschoolers to feel either accepted or rejected. There are groups here that wouldn't want me but I have no desire to join so the feeling is mutual. There are religious and political differences at the homeschool center we do some electives at but it is never an issue, likely because it is a public resource and not a volunteer/personality run effort.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I would much rather there be a conduct contract.

 

You will not let your kid climb the dino at the museum and then laugh while he rides the head.

 

You will not ignore your child throwing french fries at the other children while you nom another brownie.

 

You will not let your child bully any of the other children, in a physical or emotional way.

 

You agree to NOT form cliques against other moms who are schooling in a way you disagree with...

 

 

 

THAT kind of stuff is what is needed.

 

Hear, hear!

 

That's what I want in society, too: Basic decent behavior all around, please. Your thoughts are your own.

[Arcadia]

I vote No. However I would be excluded from any religious homeschool groups as I am secular. Since I am not interested, I don't feel excluded.

[Tracy]

I was invited to participate in a homeschooling support group. Once there, they asked everyone to sign a SoF. I thought it was just because I was LDS that I couldn't sign it. Come to find out some of my protestant friends couldn't sign it, either, since it was so specific as to religious belief. My friend that invited me went to the church that sponsored it, and she was mortified.

[Dandelion]

This means that I, in my weirdness, am probably not exactly like you in your weirdness - whether or not we can accept each other will depend on how important to each of us our differing weirdnesses are.

 

Love the way you phrased this. :)

[Dmmetler]

I'm an academic homeschooler with a highly accelerated kid in a world of "Oh, let them follow their passions and they'll be OK" folks. Mostly, I keep my mouth shut because DD likes having people to play with at the park, exchange Valentines with, and go to birthday parties.

[a27mom]

This has been an interesting read.

 

I feel that in general homeschoolers are a broad group, with a wide variety of people so I would not expect to get along with everyone or every group, just like in the rest of my life.

 

I have never expected to fit in and have generally been happy with being different so being excluded is a small blip on my radar.

 

We have a large homeschooling community in our area. I know most of them through the 2 churches we are involved in and our 4H program. The 4H program has a huge variety of people, (homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers) so people who actively participate are generally inclusive types overall. Of course the people at our churches I am generally comfortable with as our core life beliefs jibe even if our educational philosophies don't.

 

I do have some concerns about finding an actual homeschool group if I would choose to look for one. In online homeschool communities I have felt like an odd duck at times. I do not homeschool "for religious reasons" but my Christian faith permeates every aspect of my life. So I generally don't prefer to use Christian materials unless they have some separate educational superiority. This has made me feel a bit odd on a Christian homeschooling board I am involved in. Which has made me hesitant about looking into Christian homeschooling co-ops. On the other hand I have been seriously scoffed at on this board for allowing my Christian beliefs to influence my academic views (basically in science, but I imagine my historical perspective would be horrifying to some as well :). So I am somewhat concerned that I would be unacceptable to secular homeschool groups as well. There are so many Christian homeschool groups it might be difficult to find secular groups that aren't "anti-Christian". At this point we aren't seeking a homeschooling group. We'll probably go the church youth groups and 4H route that many seem to choose in our area.

 

Personally I don't have a problem with people wanting their group to have a certain exclusivity based on religion, academics etc.... In the rest of life people gather based on similar preferences and beliefs too. I do have issues with people being rude, unkind, and also following the same exclusivity in all their life activities. But it is sad for them not so much for me.

[Sahamamama]

Other -- I feel neither included nor excluded. I don't know any other homeschoolers where we live (in person). In fact, the WTM board is the only place I've ever found for meaningfully discussing homeschooling at all. Without this board, I would most likely feel isolated. With it, I feel as though there is a resource in place, should the need for advice arise. HTH.

[Sahamamama]

Not intentionally excluded, but felt left out, most definitely. Of all the homeschooling families I know IRL, we are the only ones who homeschool for academics reasons. We have the choice of feeling excluded by people who homeschool for religious reasons, or feeling excluded by people who homeschool/unschool because they object to the institution school.

 

:grouphug: Ouch! This seems like the hardest place to be -- I can see how you might become very lonely over time. You're not homeschooling for religious reasons, so you're not "spiritual enough" (or whatever). At the same time, you don't fit in with unschoolers, because you're "too schooly" or teach Latin (or whatever). :grouphug:, Regentrude! I hope it helps to hear "Hang in there!"

[QuirkyKapers]

Yes, I have felt excluded. I had visited various groups to find the group that is the best "fit" for our family. I visited a Catholic group which I loved. However, I am not Catholic and they only allow Catholics to join. (I get it. If you have had experiences of being excluded from the Homeschool community, you want your group to be likeminded). I either am too conservative or too liberal. I have learned to not share stuff with people about how I homeschool, what I believe,etc. until I know more about a person. Some people just can't handle who I am, what I think, what I believe. So, I have a lot of homeschool aquaintances whom I know. Others I consider to be my "go to" group. I am fine with this. I have discovered that really, I am not much into the social scene as I once was. I think I have just learned to embrace that I am more introverted rather than extroverted. I find though, that this feeling like I don't fit doesn't just happen in homeschool groups, it carries over into other social circles too. It isn't just the homeschool community. It can be the religious community. In fact, a lot of times it is just being with any group of people. I have had to come to terms that in general, I just don't fit. I think this to do with a number of things, belief differences, how I process things and my personality.

 

I would love to see different groups and types of people being able to get together and just learn and grow from one another. I hate that Homeschool conferences exclude religious groups that don"t fit a particular mold. I don't feel threatened by religious differences and really, when it comes to homeschooling, that is just a facet of why people are homeshooling. For me, it is more about learning how other people Homeschool than what religion are they. Hmmm..don't know if that makes sense.

[ElizabethB]

 

Personally, I'd love to find someone whose homeschool priorities are the same as mine, with whom I can discuss curriculum until I'm blue in the face and who will actually sharpen me in my pursuit of educating my dds well. It's been almost 6 years and I'm still looking, but hope springs eternal! :)

 

Mama Anna

 

We move again this summer...maybe I or someone else here who moves a lot will eventually move wherever you are!!

[Mommy22alyns]

I've also seen this play out horribly here. A homeschooled Christian teen here was struggling with his sexual identity, was treated unkindly by various other "christian" families...he committed suicie this week. That hurts. It also hurts when homeschoolers will be respectful to those of another faith (say a christian towards a jew) but can't towards those of another form of the same faith (say baptist towards catholic or orthodox). It hurts. It hurts when a family is going through a lot of crap and the kids are under a lot of criticism and comparison to other "more perfect" kids.

 

Yeah, I'm feeling crappy. I'm taking my babies on a field trip and just going to love on them today.

 

I am so sorry. That just breaks my heart. :crying:

 

Interesting - to me, one of the benefits of my girls homeschooling is that they can hang out with kids who aren't exactly like them or exactly the same age. Yet I keep seeing so many instances where "different" kids are still treated like the plague... in homeschool groups.

[Sahamamama]

Have never felt excluded, but have felt the need to "edit" who I was at certain gatherings, such as in particular groups at mom's night out.

 

Erica in OR

 

I had to "edit" myself once at an Open House for Classical Conversations. During the children's snack time, one of the mothers cornered me and began grilling me on what curriculum and methods we use at home. "Your children are so bright! What do you do with them? What do you use? How do they know so much?"

 

I could sense the director's eyes boring holes in the back of my head, LOL, but here was this Tiger Mother putting me on the witness stand, KWIM?

 

"Ohhhhhhh, a bit of this, a bit of that...." I answered meekly.

 

The director got the students back to work. After a while, another tutor came in to ask the director a question. She had to leave the room, and as soon as the door was closed, Tiger Mother asked me again, "What do you DO?"

 

This time, I felt at liberty to share with her what we do at home. She was ALL EARS and kept thanking me for sharing (the two minute version!), but we were both looking nervously at the door. :glare: When the director came back into the room, we abruptly switched to talking about the wonderful merits of CC. :blushing:

 

If we had sat there during the break, talking honestly and openly about home-based education, my children and I would have told to leave. In a way, I felt sorry for Tiger Mother, who sincerely wanted to know, clearly cared deeply about her sons' education, and saw something in my children that captured her interest. We only had to go to CC Open House once to know it wasn't for us, so I never saw Tiger Mother again. The director kept me cornered at the end of the meeting, until Tiger Mother left, and I didn't dare ask the director for her name!

 

We really weren't free to discuss, though, you know? I'm not sure this is exclusive to homeschoolers? Even before we officially identified as homeschoolers, when my girls were really little, there were plenty of times at mothers' groups when I felt the need to "edit" who we were as a family, for the sake of not rocking the boat. And that was more a matter of differences in parenting, than in anything related to education based at home.

 

Sheesh, we may have been a group of "Christian women," but I can tell you there would have been no sisterly feelings if we had started talking about anything deeper than which local grocery store had good produce at decent prices or the latest diaper change. "Your baby is so cute. Strawberries are on sale this week at Stop & Shop. Yum, who made this dip?"

 

Can you see why, with three babies to drag out in the snow, I hardly ever signed up for this "fellowship"?

[Sahamamama]

We almost had an awesome opportunity to go to an aerospace event. The deal was that a local hs group had been invited and had some extra slots open, so they advertised local lists that any hs'ers could join them so the group would be large enough to get the discount.

 

The deal-breaker? They wanted a signed statement of faith. To join their club, group, co-op or church? No. Just to spend one day in their company at a secular (museum-run) event!

 

I agreed with their statement of faith but I would never sign it. I don't sign statements of faith, in the first place. I've never thought signing statements about one's religion or politics is really the best idea.

 

Furthermore, I'm very offended that these homeschoolers don't think their little bubble children could endure one day learning about astronauts alongside children who were not exactly, exactly, exactly, like them, right down to what they think.

 

I think it's scary.

 

Bravo! Good for you! I agree wholeheartedly, and would have done the same thing.

[Dandelion]

 

If we had sat there during the break, talking honestly and openly about home-based education, my children and I would have told to leave. In a way, I felt sorry for Tiger Mother, who sincerely wanted to know, clearly cared deeply about her sons' education, and saw something in my children that captured her interest.

 

I have no experience with CC, but it's so sad to me that a group would intentionally squelch any sharing of beneficial information just because it might be seen as "competition". I can understand, for example, not wanting people to openly advertise for a new co-op to members of an existing co-op (I've seen that happen a few times - never goes over well), but just talking about your personal experience with curriculum? Sheesh. I've never understood this type of mentality.

[Dandelion]

I guess I've learned that being a homeschooler isn't much to have in common with anyone.

 

 

I totally agree.

[lamolina]

 

That has been true in my daughter's short life. She is regularly excluded because she's not in a particular child's school group, or she plays the babyish My LIttle Ponies, or she still likes fairies - or she plays Minecraft - a BOYS game. She doesn't like most of the books and tv shows the other kids play/watch...so it's an uphill battle for her and a pain in my heart.

 

 

My 9 year old daughter loves her American Girl dolls AND playing Minecraft with her brothers! She built me a giant Valentine on Minecraft that was so awesome!

[Neige]

I feel left out for two reasons. First, religion/ideology - we're not religious, and while there is a large secular HS group in our area, they're almost all unschoolers so we don't really fit either group. Second, and I'm sure this will pass as DS gets older, I find I'm talked down to a lot because DS is my only child and he's in PreK. So, I haven't "BTDT" with HSing as most of the mothers in the group have. But you know what? I'm there to LEARN! :) That's the whole point and why I love this board so much - you ladies share a wealth of know-how, which I so appreciate.

[mommaduck]

*I* love minecraft!

[swellmomma]

 

Oh I hear you. My 7 year old loves Minecraft, but you know what else he loves? My Little Pony! Seriously. He LOVES it.

 

One thing I do love about homeschooling is that my kids are more free to be who they are and like what they like without people telling them that's not a boy thing, etc.

 

My kids don't play my little pony, but both my teens (including my boy) love to play little pet shops and webkinz still. Of course they could never say that around other teens no matter how they are schooled. I am so glad that at 13 & 14 they have the freedom to still play and be young and not feel the rush to always act nearly grown up.

[SailorMom]

I am a secular homechooler. Our hs-ing group decided (not sure who decided, but 'they' did) that they would fold in to a Christian home educators group with a statement of faith.

Not only did we lose our group - my kids lost friends. it was not only heartbreaking, it was extremely disappointing.

[Crimson Wife]

 

 

Or let their daughters play Minecraft. I am shocked at the eye brow raising and reaction when people find out I let her play Minecraft. What's the big deal?? LOL

 

 

I don't think a lot of folks realize that Minecraft is non-violent. I was one until my DD showed me what it was like.

[UrbanSue]

This thread is certainly making me feel grateful for the home schoolers in my area. They just aren't all that organized and the events that are held seem very inclusive. I still don't really go to anything but I'm starting to feel really lucky!

[T'smom]

I haven't been able to find a group to join. The big one around here requires a statement of faith that I can't sign. (Even though I am the same religion).

 

In my case, it's not just homeschoolers though. Christians in general have not been kind and loving. It's been really hard to find a church to go to.

 

A question for those who "edit" themselves. How do you handle it when people make snide remarks about a group of people assuming that you agree with them?

[PachiSusan]

 

 

I don't think a lot of folks realize that Minecraft is non-violent. I was one until my DD showed me what it was like.

 

Yes, or thst you do not have to play multiplayer either. She has made some awesome buildings, inclyding a library with tons of books and a church.

[Tracy]

I would love to see different groups and types of people being able to get together and just learn and grow from one another. I hate that Homeschool conferences exclude religious groups that don"t fit a particular mold. I don't feel threatened by religious differences and really, when it comes to homeschooling, that is just a facet of why people are homeshooling. For me, it is more about learning how other people Homeschool than what religion are they. Hmmm..don't know if that makes sense.

 

:iagree: It really bothers me that I would have to go to both the Christian homeschool conference and the secular conference to really get a broad perspective on both philosphy and curricula, and that SWB would likely be excluded from both--and absolute travesty.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Yes and rural so there is precisely one group to join. We just carry on in our loud, not Christian enough, too academic way.

[amyrobynne]

We've only been homeschooling for 6 months, but I haven't felt excluded by other homeschoolers at this point.

 

We're in two co-ops, 1 Catholic and 1 secular. Both have been very accepting and welcome. We haven't made any super-close friends but it's what I would have expected joining long-established groups.

[swellmomma]

 

 

And another:

 

 

 

Here, just for your dd:

 

 

 

Those are awesome pics! I can't wait to show dd when she gets home.

[stripe]

I sort of exclude myself to avoid being excluded. I feel this way about many other women, though. Not really sure if it's a HSing thing in particular.

 

I get people telling me about groups of people who are homeschooling, but I never meet them. I had one friend tell me about a coop that became a school or something, and I found their website and they have all these rules that irritated me, including a dress code for parents and rule against lunch boxes with cartoon characters etc etc. Even though I wouldn't violate their policies, it annoyed me. I have stayed far away.

 

And, while my husband was chatted up at a swim group by another dad, his wife wouldn't make eye contact or say hi to me, and her mom or MIL cut in front of me at the showers. ha.

 

I have had my homeschooling relative avoid talking to me about homeschooling. Does that count?

[Incognito]

And, while my husband was chatted up at a swim group by another dad, his wife wouldn't make eye contact or say hi to me, and her mom or MIL cut in front of me at the showers. ha.

 

 

I think making eye contact and talking in public pool showers tends to make people uncomfortable. :tongue_smilie:

[CyndiLJ]

Sadly, our homeschooling has turned out sort of as I expected. One reason that we held back from doing it earlier on was that i just knew it would be hard to connect with other families. We are Christian, but not of the right ilk, and therein lies the problem. I really wish to be included more, but I don't want to be inauthentic nor do I want to offend others. Coming into the scene with older kids where groups are already established made it more awkward. Having daughters who at first spoke no English made it harder. Not buying into any particular style of homeschooling made it harder. Being part of the public school system program brought judgment despite it being right for our family who needed access to a lot of special services.

 

It was all what I hoped it wouldn't be, and it still is. Folks are pleasant most of the time, some have completely ignored us, a couple have gone out of their way to be warm when they see us. We've sort of given up hope that we will ever find even a small group of homeschooling friends to connect with.

 

You know what, though? It's all OK. I could sit around and mope about it, but that seems pretty pointless and won't change it. Our kids are still very happy despite this, they are doing far better academically than I would have ever expected, and we just take it one day at a time. I wish I was a little more connected here, as that would help a lot. Maybe over time that will eventually happen.

[misty.warden]

 

Once because ds wore a Halo shirt to a homeschooling meeting. (I fully support his desire to be himself - we talked about the shirt and how it might be perceived.

 

 

 

This made me :confused1: He'd look like a teenager? Most of the people I know planning to homeschool themselves played Halo and were D&D players in high school so maybe it's a regional thing.

[Erica in OR]

A question for those who "edit" themselves. How do you handle it when people make snide remarks about a group of people assuming that you agree with them?

 

Mostly I feel awkward, squirm inwardly, and keep my mouth shut. There was an instance where one woman brought up a topic related to a referendum vote in our area. Her views on it were completely opposite to mine, but her remarks pretty much assumed that everyone present would/should agree with her. She brought it up at a few separate events and I wanted to ask her to just stop discussing it, but with me being one of the newer moms and her one of the old guard, I couldn't figure out a way to do it without making waves.

 

In a perfect world, I wouldn't back down from standing up for others (or my own views). In real life, more difficult.

 

Erica in OR

[stripe]

I think making eye contact and talking in public pool showers tends to make people uncomfortable. :tongue_smilie:

Thanks for suggesting I go around leering at naked women and then am surprised someone doesn't like it. You kind of proved my point about how friendly HSing moms are to me. Funnily enough, yesterday, while blowdrying my daughter's hair, I inadvertantly looked over while one woman was putting on her suit (she was topless) and she smiled at me. Also had a conversation with a topless woman in a towel putting on lotion two weeks before. In fact, I've had tons of coversations when I (fully dressed) am helping my swimming daughter take a shower or get dressed. With ladies who are dressed in regular clothes AND those in swimsuits, or changing their clothes.

 

In my original post, I was referring to conversations (or really the lack thereof) with a hsing mom, around the pool. That's where my husband spent an hour listening to the man talk about his HS philosophy, coop they attend, and reason for HSing in the first place. The showers were family bathrooms, behind a closed door so I certainly never saw the woman changing her clothes or showering. Over six weeks, she never spoke to me. Or looked at me. Or smiled. I tried to catch her eye and say hi a few times. Nothing.

 

My experience with NON-HSing moms and grandmas has been that they are pretty friendly at the swimpool. And elsewhere.

 

But homeschooling moms rarely crack a smile.