Kaleidoscope Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Yesterday while trying to buy my kids something for Valentines I had a total meltdown in the grocery store. It was so ugly by the time I got to the checkout the manager took me to an isle and checked me out and said he didn't want me to have to wait in line that upset. He probably thought I'd scare people away. I bought myself a box of chocolates... I hate a couple then remembered I hate chocolate. So I crushed the box and chocolate and threw it away. Today I went to "marriage counseling" and listened as the counselor explained to my dh that he didn't think a separation would hurt us since to be honest we have no relationship anyway so there is nothing to lose. That made me feel great! I tried to hide from the rest of the day... then had a 2 hour argument with him about all the crap. UGH. And then I spent the rest of the night thinking... I've put 20 years into this maybe I should just suck it up and deal with it because he's not even gone yet and I'm miserable. Then I decided I'm mentally unstable. That's probably the only valid thought I've had in the last 48 hours. Oh yes, can't forget I had a full blown panic attack in counseling and ended up running form the room and collapsing on their bathroom floor and I know everyone could hear me freaking out. When I came out I could still barely walk and couldn't speak. THAT WAS GREAT FUN! It's just the best Valentines Day ever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 This reminds me why I hate "Hallmark Holidays" --- so much pressure to have an extra-loving day. Just adds insult to injury for a fair amount of people who are wounded. OP, sending hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Ugh. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 I'm sorry. That really stinks. Are you taking anything for the panic attacks? If you are, tell your doc what happened. If not, tell your doc what. Happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 I'm sorry. I agree that a physician may be able to help and there is nothing wrong with needing medical support when facing horrible life circumstances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barefoot Explorer Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 I feel for you. The pressure on Valentine's Day can make it even worse. My husband and I have been through some really rough spots over the years, and have even considered separation. We have also had some terrible counselors. What ended up really helping us was finally finding a counselor that was actually helpful. We finally found a guy that was really able to speak to my husband's issues. So I don't really have any life changing advice, except to say don't lose hope. You never know what could happen that could start things in an upward direction. I also struggle with panic attacks, so you are not alone. Don't be afraid to get help and slow down for a few days till you are feeling less anxiety... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tita Gidge Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 By now the day is over, and hopefully your tomorrow feels brighter. Being in transition or limbo sucks, there's no way around that. I'm sorry you've had such an overwhelming week ((hugs)). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 This reminds me why I hate "Hallmark Holidays" --- so much pressure to have an extra-loving day. Just adds insult to injury for a fair amount of people who are wounded. OP, sending hugs to you. Yes, this. And I hate most of their TV commercials. They do everything humanly possible to make you cry when you watch them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Yesterday while trying to buy my kids something for Valentines I had a total meltdown in the grocery store. It was so ugly by the time I got to the checkout the manager took me to an isle and checked me out and said he didn't want me to have to wait in line that upset. He probably thought I'd scare people away. I bought myself a box of chocolates... I hate a couple then remembered I hate chocolate. So I crushed the box and chocolate and threw it away. Today I went to "marriage counseling" and listened as the counselor explained to my dh that he didn't think a separation would hurt us since to be honest we have no relationship anyway so there is nothing to lose. That made me feel great! I tried to hide from the rest of the day... then had a 2 hour argument with him about all the crap. UGH. And then I spent the rest of the night thinking... I've put 20 years into this maybe I should just suck it up and deal with it because he's not even gone yet and I'm miserable. Then I decided I'm mentally unstable. That's probably the only valid thought I've had in the last 48 hours. Oh yes, can't forget I had a full blown panic attack in counseling and ended up running form the room and collapsing on their bathroom floor and I know everyone could hear me freaking out. When I came out I could still barely walk and couldn't speak. THAT WAS GREAT FUN! It's just the best Valentines Day ever! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I am so, so sorry. :( You're not mentally unstable -- you're upset and you're worried and you're probably scared to death. Don't blame yourself for losing it every now and then. You're entitled. :grouphug: I know it sounds impossible right now, but things are going to get better. It might take a while, but things are going to get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Yesterday while trying to buy my kids something for Valentines I had a total meltdown in the grocery store. It was so ugly by the time I got to the checkout the manager took me to an isle and checked me out and said he didn't want me to have to wait in line that upset. He probably thought I'd scare people away. I bought myself a box of chocolates... I hate a couple then remembered I hate chocolate. So I crushed the box and chocolate and threw it away. Today I went to "marriage counseling" and listened as the counselor explained to my dh that he didn't think a separation would hurt us since to be honest we have no relationship anyway so there is nothing to lose. That made me feel great! I tried to hide from the rest of the day... then had a 2 hour argument with him about all the crap. UGH. And then I spent the rest of the night thinking... I've put 20 years into this maybe I should just suck it up and deal with it because he's not even gone yet and I'm miserable. Then I decided I'm mentally unstable. That's probably the only valid thought I've had in the last 48 hours. Oh yes, can't forget I had a full blown panic attack in counseling and ended up running form the room and collapsing on their bathroom floor and I know everyone could hear me freaking out. When I came out I could still barely walk and couldn't speak. THAT WAS GREAT FUN! It's just the best Valentines Day ever! Wow, I'm sorry. Rough day, for sure! Rough few years, it sounds like. I'm sure you are perfectly stable...you are just human, and we can only withstand so much stress without it starting to blow somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Sounds to me like you've been carrying a heavy burden for a long time. Stress can really take a toll, physically and emotionally. Be kind to yourself. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaleidoscope Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 I'm sorry. That really stinks. Are you taking anything for the panic attacks? If you are, tell your doc what happened. If not, tell your doc what. Happened. I'm not taking anything because they'd been diminishing. I had 3 yesterday though. I may have to cave on taking something. I don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaleidoscope Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 I feel for you. The pressure on Valentine's Day can make it even worse. My husband and I have been through some really rough spots over the years, and have even considered separation. We have also had some terrible counselors. What ended up really helping us was finally finding a counselor that was actually helpful. We finally found a guy that was really able to speak to my husband's issues. So I don't really have any life changing advice, except to say don't lose hope. You never know what could happen that could start things in an upward direction. I also struggle with panic attacks, so you are not alone. Don't be afraid to get help and slow down for a few days till you are feeling less anxiety... I don't know what I think of these counselors. They haven't be of much help to me. However, they seem to possibly see through dh and if that's the case that's a good thing! They also have a good relationship with our pastor and are willing o help him be understanding of my desire to separate. That's also a good thing. So for now I'm sticking with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.