I need Help!!!

[anoncalhan]

My husband works thousands of miles away from home for months at a time so that means I am the one that does school. I am also the one that does school when he is home for months at a time. It irritates me beyond belief when I sit down to do school and start to explain something and he butts in with his explanation. Example: Both kids were strugglling with the same word problem today. Our oldest said he needed help DH told him to sit down and think about it, he told him 3 times over 20 minutes. So I drug out the dry erase board and called them over. As I start to explain DH cuts in and starts his own rendition of how it is done. He doesn't want to do the schooling yet he is always interrupting and throwing in his comments. I am irritated. When I confronted him about it he said "Did I explain it wrong?" No he didnt wasnt the way I would do it but whatever. Him "So as long as it got explained right then I don't see what the problem is." This happens all the time. My take on it is if he wanted to explain it he should have done it before I started to do it. I know that is petty and I feel like I am being childish a little. But I don't know how to fix this and it is driving me crazy and making me a grumpy wife. Any helpful advice is welcome. Thanks. :banghead: :banghead:

[Unicorn.]

It's not petty, and it is frustrating. On the occasions that dh has done that, I interrupt him, and say "Excuse me, but I was speaking." That usually makes him realize he's being rude and interrupting me. Sometimes they just don't get it. If that doesn't work, I might add, "You can have your turn when I am done" or sometimes "Do you want to do the teaching today?" And if all that doesn't work, I wouldn't have any problem just telling him to shut up, he's being rude, :D

[Garga]

My dh has done this, too. I try to view it that he's just excited to have a chance to join in on the homeschooling fun. Of course, it's actually terribly irritating, but from his point of view he doesn't know that and thinks he's helping and he is enjoying educating the kids.

 

I have to say, I think talking it over with him might not go so well. He's stuck away from the family, providing for them, and when he finally has a chance to help out at home, you simmer with resentment. No, I'm not saying I agree with him. I totally understand how stinkin' irritating it is for someone to horn in on what you're doing--especially someone who has done NONE of the hard work of planning and encouraging and inspiring, etc.

 

But if you complain about it he'll be thinking, "Well, what do you want from me?? I'd love to be part of the kid's lives, but you are so threatened by that, that you're trying to shut me out when I have the chance!"

 

I decided I didn't want the sticky conversation with my own husband. I didn't want to try to defend my territory and I wanted to let him have a part with the kid's education, even if he gets to do the fun stuff while I'm the one in the actual trenches all day long.

 

What I do is say, "I'm about to explain this to the kids on the whiteboard. Or would you like to explain it to them?" If he wants to explain it, great. If he doesn't, then I start in. However, if he interrupts I do tell him, flat out, "Hang on! Let me finish my thought!" He'll back off and then wait his turn when I say that.

 

I also rarely homeschool when he's home. It's too distracting for all of us. If I have to homeschool when he's home, we purposely go in a different room. Or, I'll ask if he wants to do a subject with the kids on his own for that day. Then, he gets to join in on the fun without interrupting my flow. If I extend the invitation for him to be part of it, I don't feel irritated.

 

Or, you could always sit down and have the sticky conversation. But be prepared to see his point of view. His point of view is that he wants to help. When he sees you start to explain it to the kids, he thinks, "That looks like fun! I could explain that, too!" and he wants to jump in and be part of everything. He'll probably feel bad if he feels that you're trying to exclude him.