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Help me understand the purpose of a schedule


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DS13's schedule looks something like this:

 

Wake up at 5am daily to come to work with me. He brings his school work and typically completes a couple of items by the time we get home at either 9am or 10:30, depending on the day.

 

Tuesday - 9am drum lesson (30 min.); 12:15 swimming strokes lesson (1 hr.)

 

Monday & Wednesday - 7pm karate class (1 hr. each)

 

Thursday - co-op classes from 8:30am - 5:30pm

 

One Friday a month - Black Belt Class for karate

 

Most other Fridays - youth group

 

Saturday - baseball practice (or a game during the season)

 

Sunday - church & home

 

DH and I are constantly butting heads over the need for, what I would consider, an artificially contrived school schedule. Personally, I don't see the point as long as DS13 is getting everything done. I think it's a good idea for him to begin to manage his own time, within reason, with regards to his school work. DH, on the other hand, feels that having set "school" hours and time slots to complete each subject are necessary. As it stands right now, when we get home each day DS13 works until lunch, takes about an hour lunch break to eat and spend some time outside playing baseball or basketball, and then comes back in to finish his work. He's usually done by around 3pm, with at least one day during the week finishing much earlier and one day finishing a bit later. There is really no rhyme or reason as to which days these happen and I can't figure out any sort of pattern. It really doesn't matter to me in what order he completes things or even if he works ahead, works really late or on Saturday so he can have free time during the week. To me, that independence is the beauty of homeschooling. DH, admittedly doesn't understand or even support homeschooling, so I'm thinking that his craziness over a schedule is partly his need for control, but also a holdover from his own schooling days and a desire to see a "school at home" model.

 

What I'm wondering is, is there some benefit to a more rigid schedule that I'm missing?

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We do not schedule, I just require a certain amount of time spent on school. This works really well for my students.

This said, I can see that schedules can be helpful for some students:

 

-to make sure enough time in the day is set aside for academic work

- to make sure the available time is used effectively

-to make sure all subjects are covered and none neglected

- to fulfill the student's need for a predictable routine - some kids thrive on that

- to help a parent juggle homeschooling mulitple children

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Not that I've ever seen.

 

Ask your dh why it is so important to him. If he can't articulate it then he needs to let go.

 

I've asked him several times and his response is that DS13 has too much time on his hands and that a schedule is just necessary, it's "what you're supposed to do." :blink: Being with him all day and seeing his current obligations in writing, the child clearly doesn't have "too much free time on his hands." Any free time that he does have is either spent outside playing baseball or basketball, or, if it's a cruddy day he reads, plays Minecraft, or builds with blocks. He goes to bed at 9pm, gets up at 5am, is engaged in schoolwork until at least 2 or 3pm everyday, and has evening commitments at least a few days a week. I think, perhaps, it seems like a lot of time to DH because there is no homework or studying in the evening (because it's completely unnecessary, of course). I'm trying not to dismiss DH outright without ensuring that there aren't some benefits to a schedule that I'm missing. Obviously, I've assumed all along that I'm right though. :D

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Have you written out your current schedule? You have it loosely written there, maybe he'd feel better if it was just written out weekly and hourly on a sheet of paper. Also, does he considering drum practice, karate, sports, youth group and maybe coops are learning? Because maybe he's only noticin those items and not realizing the other work that gets done. To me, it sounds like you have a schedule, just not written out.

 

You could write it out basically filling in all the hours that aren't extracurricula items with school work -- and then totally ignore it and change it like those of us that love (to pretend we use) schedules do too. :)

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I've asked him several times and his response is that DS13 has too much time on his hands and that a schedule is just necessary, it's "what you're supposed to do." :blink: Being with him all day and seeing his current obligations in writing, the child clearly doesn't have "too much free time on his hands." Any free time that he does have is either spent outside playing baseball or basketball, or, if it's a cruddy day he reads, plays Minecraft, or builds with blocks. He goes to bed at 9pm, gets up at 5am, is engaged in schoolwork until at least 2 or 3pm everyday, and has evening commitments at least a few days a week. I think, perhaps, it seems like a lot of time to DH because there is no homework or studying in the evening (because it's completely unnecessary, of course). I'm trying not to dismiss DH outright without ensuring that there aren't some benefits to a schedule that I'm missing. Obviously, I've assumed all along that I'm right though. :D

 

Okay, so write out a schedule. Just because you have one doesn't mean that it has to be closely followed.

 

Or just write out the schedule so dh can see it on paper. That might satisfy him.

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Okay, so write out a schedule. Just because you have one doesn't mean that it has to be closely followed.

 

Or just write out the schedule so dh can see it on paper. That might satisfy him.

 

 

Have you written out your current schedule? You have it loosely written there, maybe he'd feel better if it was just written out weekly and hourly on a sheet of paper. Also, does he considering drum practice, karate, sports, youth group and maybe coops are learning? Because maybe he's only noticin those items and not realizing the other work that gets done. To me, it sounds like you have a schedule, just not written out.

 

You could write it out basically filling in all the hours that aren't extracurricula items with school work -- and then totally ignore it and change it like those of us, that love (to pretend we use) schedules, do too. :)

 

 

Really, I don't know what I didn't think of that. :::face palm:::

Honestly, I think he'll either find fault with it or with something else, but I really hadn't even considered just giving him what he wants regardless of whether it's what we actually DO. I did tell him from day 1 that he had full access to Scholaric, which is what DS13 uses to get his work everyday and what I use to track grades. He's never once asked to see it or any of DS13's work. I think I'll write out that schedule though. Good idea.

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When ds was 7 and having focus issues, dh asked about his schedule. My internal response was schedule, we don't need no frickin' schedule. We homeschool to be spontaneous and grab moments of life as they happen. A schedule is binding. I did that gig for years before ds was born. I don't even wear a watch, I hate menu planning (I don't want to know what I'm having for dinner before that day). Okay I didn't say all that, but it was my thought. We implemented a "schedule" and it helped ds.

 

At 13, if your son isn't having issues, I think a schedule would be a waste of time. This morning I told ds that I even make hot water in the coffee pot because I don't want to decide on tea or hot chocolate until I'm ready. I love being spontaneous about stuff.

 

Our current mode of operation has these official settings. School starts at 10am (we're not morning people). We're done by 4, we do an hour for lunch. I schedule 4-5 subjects a day and they get checked off the list.

 

The reality is we start school about 10:15-10:30 depending upon when ds gets up (he's growing and needs more sleep sometimes). We sometimes pick random things to do throughout the day, things that *gasp* aren't on the list. We sometimes get done by 2:30,more likely done by 3:30. Sometimes he reads for the latter portion of the day.

 

But...if dh looks at our schooling we have a schedule. I think men especially need to know that their sons are progressing. If your dh isn't there every day, he may miss those moments and that growth you see.

 

I'm pretty good at making our spontaneity look pretty on paper. If I were you I'd placate your dh a bit and type up something, even if it written like your first post. Technically, you have a schedule. Dh may not be able to "see" it all unless you type it out. I would do so and post it on the fridge or something.

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