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Kinsa

UPDATED AGAIN: UPDATED: What would you think if you read this on your 15yo son's phone?

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I just thought of something else.

 

Supposedly, this "girl" is around your ds's age, right?

 

Yet her mom bought her a plane ticket to travel alone to another state to visit your son, whom neither of them had ever met?

 

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

 

Sure she did.

 

What mom wouldn't do that? :glare:

 

And then, conveniently, the mom "tore up the ticket" because the kid's grades were too low, and her punishment was not being able to get on a plane and visit a complete stranger.

 

Oh yeah. And then the girl needed surgery, which is so incredibly common among teens who had just been perfectly healthy.

 

This story is totally true. :rolleyes:

 

My biggest concern is that the "girl" is really a pedophile, and the next thing "she" will do is say how sick and sad and lonely she is, and try to get your ds come and visit "her."

 

Maybe I'm just paranoid, but stuff like this scares me.

 

 

Plenty of things don't make any sense in the messages. She got all C's and then corrected them to all A's?

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Plenty of things don't make any sense in the messages. She got all C's and then corrected them to all A's?

 

 

I was wondering about that, too. The whole thing is wrong.

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And I want to thank the OP for posting because I did not even know this type of concern existed. The world our kids are growing up in is much different than the world I grew up in. This helps me be prepared for the type of discussions I may need to have with my kids someday.

 

OP, hope you can have a good discussion with your son that will help him grow and learn and be safe.

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I would be very concerned.

 

It sounds like someone is trying to lure your son.

 

I mean seriously, first she can't come to visit, and then she's in the hospital having surgery???

 

Ummm.... NO.

 

Someone is trying to worry your ds so much that he feels the need to sneak off to be with this "girl."

 

Maybe I'm just paranoid, but red flags are flying all over the place here.

 

THIS!

 

Sounds VERY scary to me. My kids aren't allowed to text/chat with people that *I* and *THEY* haven't met IRL, with very rare specific exceptions, which have to be cleared with a parent BEFORE an online relationship evolves. DD16 is spending a lot of time PMing with a boy she only knows online, but they met through an AOPS class that they are in together, and do loads of actual math together through AOPS, so I know he is a real kid, a smart kid, and isn't a predator pretending to be a kid! So, anyway, LONG before any talk of getting together IRL occured, I'd have expected to be informed!

 

I'd be MAD AS HELL that your son made plans to see her IRL (PLANE TICKETS!) even if she IS a real girl, which I doubt, and if she is a girl, I will bet there never was any plane ticket. . . .

 

I'd SAY all hell would break loose in my house if I read those messages on my kid's phone (not having any idea about it all), and all internet/phone access would be GONE until I really understood what happened, very well. Very. And, some kind of punishment is in order for the secret planning to rendevous!! THat is a NO WAY thing! If she's his age, that's a legal trainwreck, and if she's much older, that's creepy.

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You are fortunate, for many reasons, because you live in Texas! In this case, you may want to contact the office of the Texas Attorney General, in Austin (just up I-35 from you). They have a special Police unit, that is very active, in Internet chat rooms, etc., trying to capture pedophiles.

 

I saw this on Fox New Channel, several times, before Directv in Colombia dropped FNC last year, in an "Extra", when viewers in the USA were getting commercials.

 

If the person your son is in contact with is not a teen age girl, and this is not some "innocent" thing, then, yes, IMHO, you should involve the Police, or the office of the Texas AG.

 

Much good luck to you and to your DS!

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Tell him I saw it. Calmly, I repeat calmly ask about it. No drama fro me. Even if I stroked keeping it that way. My kids have been cool but I was a nightmare teen and would not have been IG someone would have respected my feelings and talked with me and not at me.

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You are fortunate, for many reasons, because you live in Texas! In this case, you may want to contact the office of the Texas Attorney General, in Austin (just up I-35 from you). They have a special Police unit, that is very active, in Internet chat rooms, etc., trying to capture pedophiles.

 

I saw this on Fox New Channel, several times, before Directv in Colombia dropped FNC last year, in an "Extra", when viewers in the USA were getting commercials.

 

If the person your son is in contact with is not a teen age girl, and this is not some "innocent" thing, then, yes, IMHO, you should involve the Police, or the office of the Texas AG.

 

Much good luck to you and to your DS!

 

AGREED! If they will help you, BY ALL MEANS have the police involved!

 

If the police will get involved, I'd do that ASAP. If this is a predator, they MUST be stopped, and you MUST help them! If it's not a predator, that will be confirmed quickly.

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Call her.

 

My first question would (after a rather pointed discussion) is if the girl is real at all. Seriously, who makes plans for their dd to go to Texas and rips up the ticket. Then she has surgery? It sounds kind of spammy. Then again, she could be real and making it all up. Either way, I'd be in charge of his phone while dh and I figured out how to handle it.

 

I would be very concerned.

 

It sounds like someone is trying to lure your son.

 

I mean seriously, first she can't come to visit, and then she's in the hospital having surgery???

 

Ummm.... NO.

 

Someone is trying to worry your ds so much that he feels the need to sneak off to be with this "girl."

 

Maybe I'm just paranoid, but red flags are flying all over the place here.

 

Definitely sit down and have a chat with him. You need to know the details.

 

I would absolutely have a talk with him. Red flags are flying all over the place.

 

You don't even need to dissect it that much to get to the biggest tell- what teenage girl knows about paper airline tickets which have totally gone the way of the rotary dial phone ?

 

 

 

I agree with all of the above, but the last one -- paper airline tickets? That is a red flag big enough to cover your entire state of TX. Also, those texts are too well written. I've seen kids text. They don't text in full sentences with proper spelling.

 

I don't blame you for being upset. I don't even blame you for posting his texts. At this point, so what? He is, IMO, in serious potential danger. You can always come delete your post later.

 

For now, talk to him calmly. Call the "girl" together. Grill "her." Get to the bottom of it. Get the authorities involved, if necessary.

 

This might possibly break your son's heart if it's a fake, but then you're his mom, and you'll help him get over it. Better to break his heart now than later because frankly, later could be too late. You just never know how sadistic the whacko who might be playing him will get until it's too late.

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You don't even need to dissect it that much to get to the biggest tell- what teenage girl knows about paper airline tickets which have totally gone the way of the rotary dial phone ?

 

 

:iagree:

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Also, those texts are too well written. I've seen kids text. They don't text in full sentences with proper spelling.

 

 

I'd been wondering about that, too. It seemed very odd, and he whole tone of the messages seemed "off" to me.

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I just thought of something else.

 

Supposedly, this "girl" is around your ds's age, right?

 

Yet her mom bought her a plane ticket to travel alone to another state to visit your son, whom neither of them had ever met?

 

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

 

Sure she did.

 

What mom wouldn't do that? :glare:

 

And then, conveniently, the mom "tore up the ticket" because the kid's grades were too low, and her punishment was not being able to get on a plane and visit a complete stranger.

 

Oh yeah. And then the girl needed surgery, which is so incredibly common among teens who had just been perfectly healthy.

 

This story is totally true. :rolleyes:

 

My biggest concern is that the "girl" is really a pedophile, and the next thing "she" will do is say how sick and sad and lonely she is, and try to get your ds come and visit "her."

 

Maybe I'm just paranoid, but stuff like this scares me.

 

 

Are paper tickets issued anymore? We always use the electronic ticket when we fly.

 

ETA: Obviously I hadn't read through all the responses because this has already been mentioned.

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I'd been wondering about that, too. It seemed very odd, and he whole tone of the messages seemed "off" to me.

 

That was the first thing that jumped out at me. It just screamed "BOGUS!"

 

And, I KNEW that Kinsa was not going to come here and make that up -- but I also knew somebody sure did, though.

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This reminds me a bit of the article someone posted a few weeks ago in the Manti Te'o discussion. It was mostly about Munchausen by Internet but IIRC it also talked about catfishing-type hoaxes in general. Major red flags there, as others have mentioned.

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I asked my 13yo son about her, and he said that she lives in North Dakota, but she didn't live there when we lived there.

 

This is the part raises a red flag for me. If your son mentioned to "her" that he used to live somewhere, it would be an easy way to establish something in common with him to say "oh hey, that's where I live!"

 

There are a couple of things you can do right now. You can Google the phone number. Sometimes you get lucky and someone has already posted a warning about it. You can also check and see if it is indeed a ND number. You can look over his responses to get a picture of what info this person has about your son. Some parents are against this, but in this case I would definitely read through his emails/facebook etc. to try and determine exactly where he met this person.

 

I would also try to be sure that your 13 year old son can't "warn" him that you're onto it and give him a chance to delete things or clam up before you get the chance to talk to him.

 

I know I sound like the KGB or something but this is seriously fishy.

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Who said ignore?

 

Respect issue aside, I think one has a better chance of effectively discussing a potentially embarrassing and painful issue with a 15 yo if the likelihood of his finding out his private messages were posted online without his permission or knowledge is zero.

 

 

Maybe op is like me and has never heard of this catfishing thing. Maybe, like me, it wouldn't occur to her that this is not only inappropriate, but possibly very dangerous behavior. And if she hadn't posted it word for word, the fishiness of it may not have come across. A vague summary would just sound like a crazy girlfriend, when in reality, this could be a predatory situation.

 

I know I sound naive, but the possibilities people have mentioned were new information to me! This forum is here for help from other parents. When it comes to protecting our children, their right to privacy (a right that is relative and debatable when it involves a cell phone that their parents pay for, by the way) should not be a priority.

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that is not how teens text, that is how adults text and not even all adults text that perfect. Teens text like u for you, they shorten and mis spell words and don't use punctuation. At least that is how my very smart teen and her friends (some very smart and some not) all tend to text the same way, It is teen text talk.

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Maybe op is like me and has never heard of this catfishing thing. Maybe, like me, it wouldn't occur to her that this is not only inappropriate, but possibly very dangerous behavior. And if she hadn't posted it word for word, the fishiness of it may not have come across. A vague summary would just sound like a crazy girlfriend, when in reality, this could be a predatory situation.

 

I know I sound naive, but the possibilities people have mentioned were new information to me! This forum is here for help from other parents. When it comes to protecting our children, their right to privacy (a right that is relative and debatable when it involves a cell phone that their parents pay for, by the way) should not be a priority.

 

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

Additionally, it's not like she posted her son's name, address, and a recent photo. :glare:

 

I'm glad she posted about this. I would guess that she was alarmed when she saw the texts, but was wondering if she was being paranoid. Why shouldn't she be able to post here and bounce some ideas off her fellow forum members before she decided how to proceed and how to speak with her ds about it?

 

Her ds didn't text the "girl" anything embarrassing, humiliating, or dirty, so I don't understand the uproar over his privacy. Absolutely no identifying details were posted.

 

I think the boy's safety trumps a very minor infringement of his privacy in this case. His mom was concerned and she wanted to see what others thought about it. I see nothing wrong with that.

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Kinsa,

 

I agree with the red flag bunch here. I think you should talk with your son but I WOULD NOT call the "girl". I would contact the local "Crimes Against Children" task force and give them all the info, ESPECIALLY if there has been ANY online activity. If they are suspicious, they can move forward *as your son* and either discover "she" is real OR trap a predator.

 

((((bighugs))) to you. Try to talk calmly to him and like he is the adult that he thinks he is at this age. It will go far.

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http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-lying-disease/Content?oid=15337239

 

I immediately thought of this article - pretty sure it's been shared in another thread. It seems there are a rash of lying, manipulative people in the world who are able to continue their deceit indefinitely with innumerable cyber victims. Sad and scary.

 

That's the one I was thinking of.

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How about you text back as your son, break it off then block the number and take his phone away?

 

Throw them tomatoes. I'm standing here with my arms stretched out and I won't duck.

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http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-lying-disease/Content?oid=15337239

 

I immediately thought of this article - pretty sure it's been shared in another thread. It seems there are a rash of lying, manipulative people in the world who are able to continue their deceit indefinitely with innumerable cyber victims. Sad and scary.

 

WOW. That is stunning. Wow.

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How about you text back as your son, break it off then block the number and take his phone away?

 

Throw them tomatoes. I'm standing here with my arms stretched out and I won't duck.

Honestly, I'd be inclined to do the same.

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http://abcnews.go.com/US/timeline-manti-teo-girlfriend-hoax-story/story?id=18268647 I would have my son read this --it's the timeline of the manti-teo hoax. There are similar details to your son's messages. This is what actually happened: http://www.clarionledger.com/viewart/20130131/SPORTS02/130131004/Ronaiah-Tuiasosopo-admits-creating-Manti-Te-o-girlfriend-hoax-says-he-loved-Notre-Dame-player

 

Then discuss what you found on his phone.

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You'd throw tomatoes at me???

 

 

I think she meant she agreed with what you said to do about the calls.

 

I think that might be one of my first responses, too, but then I just wouldn't be able to let it go, because what if it was some perv? I'd want him hunted down. Those cyber-units the cops have can manage to track all kinds of weirdos with less info than the texts and phone # Kinsa has.

 

But, maybe I'm a little vindictive that way. Nobody gets away with messing with my kid.

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You'd throw tomatoes at me???

No!

I think she meant she agreed with what you said to do about the calls.

 

I think that might be one of my first responses, too, but then I just wouldn't be able to let it go, because what if it was some perv? I'd want him hunted down. Those cyber-units the cops have can manage to track all kinds of weirdos with less info than the texts and phone # Kinsa has.

 

But, maybe I'm a little vindictive that way. Nobody gets away with messing with my kid.

What Audrey said. I'd be inclined to send a txt, put an end to it, and then deal w/my kid. First things first, and that would be ending the situation.

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Better to clarify. Remuda is one of my favouritest Hive ppl, and she can be kinda scary when mad...:tongue_smilie:

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M: Heyy!

 

M: Hello Prince Charming, I hope you had a fantastic day and that everything is going good for you. I'm guessing we aren't going to talk today and that's okay. But I want you to know that you were in my mind all day. I hope you have a beautiful night that you have sweet dreams. I will stay up until 12 for you. And if you wake up at all or if you need me. Feel free to text me, I am right here for you always. I love you boo bear. <heart>

 

M: <son's name>!!! <broken heart> I'm not coming to Texas... cry.gif My mom ripped up my ticket and is mad at me because I had c's and because I stayed after Monday and Tuesday to reaise my grades and now I have all a's. I am soooo upset and I am staying home tomorrow. My heart is broken. <broken heart> I really just wanted to be with you! And she took that away. I do love you boo bear with all my heart and I will find a way to see you!!!!!!!!!!

 

M: I am having the worse week ever. Something bad has happened each day so far. frown.gif

 

M: This is M's older sister. M really likes you and I'm sure you've heard that she's in the hospital so yeah I'm just here to tell you that she's out of surgery.

 

**************

 

I have NO CLUE who this girl is. I have never heard him talk about her, I don't recognize her name AT ALL. I asked my 13yo son about her, and he said that she lives in North Dakota, but she didn't live there when we lived there. Who the heck is this girl, and why is she trying to come to Texas to see my son?!? What the heck?!?

 

 

Ask him. He's only 13? I'd sure ask what was going on and how he knows her.

 

Some boys at my son's school met some girls while playing video games and talking on Skype. Some of them called them "girlfriends" even though they had never met.

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Ask him. He's only 13? I'd sure ask what was going on and how he knows her.

 

Some boys at my son's school met some girls while playing video games and talking on Skype. Some of them called them "girlfriends" even though they had never met.

 

 

It's her 15 yo son who got these texts. She asked her other son, who is 13, if he knew about this "girl."

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I AM kidding you goober. Whassa matter? I think your preggie 'mones are messin with you!!!!

 

Probably, LOL

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It's her 15 yo son who got these texts. She asked her other son, who is 13, if he knew about this "girl."

 

 

Oh, sorry. Yeah...it's right in the title!

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I'd talk to him, but I'd be careful not to do anything that seems like it's a punishment. It's not his fault if he got lured into some kind of scam. Teenagers are usually short on common sense. Goes with the territory. If you do something that seems like punishment though, he'll probably just get mad and defensive about his "girlfriend." And the last thing you want is for him to go running off to "her" because he thinks you're punishing him for being in love, you know? I'd block her number, but not take his phone away. I'd probably call the number and have a little chat, but I wouldn't make make him sit there with me because that would be humiliating. I probably wouldn't even tell him about it. With him, I'd just explain how these scams work and then be prepared for him to be really bummed out for awhile.

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I think it depends on what parameters there were w/the phone to start w/.

 

For *us*, while Diva doesn't have a cell, she has use on the puter, and knows that EVERYTHING gets cleared w/me first. No chat rooms, groups, etc. No IM/PMs.

 

So, if there have been rules broken, that also needs to be addressed.

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http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-lying-disease/Content?oid=15337239

 

I immediately thought of this article - pretty sure it's been shared in another thread. It seems there are a rash of lying, manipulative people in the world who are able to continue their deceit indefinitely with innumerable cyber victims. Sad and scary.

 

 

That was so disturbing.

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I'd talk to him, but I'd be careful not to do anything that seems like it's a punishment. It's not his fault if he got lured into some kind of scam. Teenagers are usually short on common sense. Goes with the territory. If you do something that seems like punishment though, he'll probably just get mad and defensive about his "girlfriend." And the last thing you want is for him to go running off to "her" because he thinks you're punishing him for being in love, you know? I'd block her number, but not take his phone away. I'd probably call the number and have a little chat, but I wouldn't make make him sit there with me because that would be humiliating. I probably wouldn't even tell him about it. With him, I'd just explain how these scams work and then be prepared for him to be really bummed out for awhile.

 

 

I agree. I'd only have the conversation and block the number.

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Eventually, you could let him watch Catfish. It's a documentary type film about a 20-something year old man who got pulled into a scam like this. The young man's heart was broken. He thought he'd found love, but it was just a messed up 40-something year old woman who was lonely and stringing him along as a way to alleviate the troubles in her life. Your son is probably going to be confused, angry, and hurt when this is all done, and it might be good for him to see he's not alone.

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Completely agree with the idea this is some type of catfish scam or predator lure. I have worked at my county jail. We are close friends with a police officer who specializes in Internet crimes. This type of stuff is happening all the time. I would be very concerned about this.

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I would think she was lying about ever having a ticket and that she was pretending to be her sister to make your son think she was in the hospital to garner attention for herself; however, I tend to think the worst of people.

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This may have been stated already, but how did she get his phone number if he's never met her? And how did she know where to "fly" to visit him if he didn't give out his address?

 

Those two things would have me very worried.

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Oh, another thought just entered my mind.

 

I have had the unpleasant opportunity to read emails sent from foreign "catfish" types (fake mail order brides scamming lonely / stupid / desperate men) to men, and this sounds VERY similar to those. The end game is the girls ask for money in increasingly large amounts. The hook in this situation would be, "Oh, my mom tore up my ticket, please send me $50, and I can get the rest out of my savings...Boo Bear."

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"I will only pay for you to go halfway across the country unescorted to meet a complete stranger if you make an "A" in trig."

 

Nothing about that sounds fishy to me. :laugh:

 

 

LOL, yes but the mom still ripped up the ticket even though the girl brough her Cs up to As by staying after school for 2 days...mean Mom!

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http://www.thestrang...nt?oid=15337239

 

I immediately thought of this article - pretty sure it's been shared in another thread. It seems there are a rash of lying, manipulative people in the world who are able to continue their deceit indefinitely with innumerable cyber victims. Sad and scary.

 

 

Oh. :blink:

 

Em. :ohmy:

 

Gee. :angry:

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Just wondering if Karen has had a chance to speak with her ds about this yet, and hoping that everything went well!

 

:iagree: I have to say that I've never heard of catfishing. I guess it doesn't surprise me though :confused1: How in the world would some crazy person get her ds's phone number though?

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Can you get a log of the texts from the cell service provider to see how/when all of this originated?

 

Instead of calling, if you were able to hold onto the phone a bit longer (you mentioned you had taken it for other reasons), maybe the person texting him would get desperate and show their intentions (asking for money, trying to trick him into coming to meet him/her, or simply trying to hurt him).

 

I am sorry you are dealing with this.

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