gardenmom5 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I'm on a local autism forum, and one mom about had a meltdown over the word "kiddo". (i've no idea who used it, just saw that she was freaking out over it.) she insisted it is a patronizing and condescending way to refer to disabled children, and that it specifically means the child being called "kiddo" is disabled. I have never heard kiddo used to refer to a disabled child, only as a cutesy affectation of "kid". so, who needs to get out more? Please vote in the poll. (if i did it right.) Quote
MyLittleWonders Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I have only heard it used as a cutesy name for "kid" - no matter their abilities (said as a mom with a child with SN). And personally, even though I've only been in the SN world as a parent for a couple years, there seems to be much bigger fish to fry than the use of the word "kiddo". JMHO Quote
myfunnybunch Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Well, I need to get out more. But that has nothing to do with your question. The freaking out mom is not being rational. Cat Quote
Hannah Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Kiddo is not used often here, but people do use kiddies frequently. I'm wondering if that would bother her too? Quote
jeninok Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I call DS kiddo all the time, and never even gave it a second thought. I have been told sugar bear is not OK, now that he is 11 though :) I also call him Mr. Moo Magoo because its fun to say, and Agnes or Bethel when he acts all grumpy and out of sorts, like that old lady yelling at the kids to get off of her lawn. His name is Tyler! Quote
bettyandbob Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I have a child with an obvious disability. I have never heard what this mom says. Perhaps she never heard it until a preschool specialist used it constantly and it was preschool program that the mom didn't like for her child. As a result the mom just has bad associations with the casual vocabulary and a program that served special needs kids. Whatever the reason, I believe the mom is quite wrong. I remember my parents saying "kiddo" when I was a child (my siblings and I do not have disabilities). Quote
MomtoCandJ Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Heck I'm still called kiddo by dfil and I'm 29 with no disabilities Quote
SarahW Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I call my kid Numbnuts and Crazypants sometimes, is that wrong? When others ask "why do you call your kid that?" they don't seem to be happy with my answer of, *shrug* "cause he answers to it." No, but seriously. I have a cousin who is severely mentally handicapped. I never heard of "kiddo" being a derogatory term. But, considering the fact that my cousin is 30yo, if someone called him "kiddo" just because his mind functions on the level of 18mo, that would be very, very, very rude. But if they said it when he was a kid - whatever. Quote
Night Elf Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I've never heard kiddo refer to SN. I did know a mom once who hated the word kid though. She would make goat noises and say that children weren't goats. Quote
Parrothead Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Oh, crap! I refer to people's kids as kiddos all the time. If I've offended anyone I've meant no harm. I've never heard of kiddo meaning anything other than an alternate word for child. Quote
GailV Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Kiddo is not used often here, but people do use kiddies frequently. I'm wondering if that would bother her too? "Kiddies" sounds creepy to me. I can picture Jack Nicholson saying it at the Overlook Hotel, although I have no clue if it was ever used in that movie. Quote
Lady Florida. Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Where on earth did she get that idea? I've never heard of being used in such a way. I still call ds kiddo, and it used to be my name for him on my blog before I started using his actual name, I've also heard it used from adult to adult, usually the older adult calling the younger one kiddo. Never, ever, ever, have I heard (or heard of) it being used in a derogatory manner. Quote
Chris in VA Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I say it. Nothing whatsoever to do with disabilities. I know there is a segment of the stay at home pop who don't want people to use the word "kid" in describing a child. :rolleyes: I think that's stupid, personally. Not to mince words. Quote
gardenmom5 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Perhaps she never heard it until a preschool specialist used it constantly and it was preschool program that the mom didn't like for her child. As a result the mom just has bad associations with the casual vocabulary and a program that served special needs kids. that was my thought about hearing it from people who were working with her child. Heck I'm still called kiddo by dfil and I'm 29 with no disabilities you are a kiddo. ;p I have a dd older than you. I'm getting old. Kiddo is not used often here, but people do use kiddies frequently. I'm wondering if that would bother her too? "so, you came all this way to jump in and swim with the kiddies?" Star Trek IV, Dr. Gillian Taylor to spock and kirk. If she complained that people were referring to her SN child the same as they would a whale, I'd have more understanding of her contention. Quote
gardenmom5 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Thank you everyone for your comments and vote. I just thought it was so bizarre, I wanted to ask the hive if I was really that secluded. Quote
JFSinIL Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 kiddo, kidlet, littles - all the same. I have dealt with special needs for almost two decades and NEVER have I heard of kiddo as a demeaning term for disabled kids. Quote
Orthodox6 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Too slangy for my taste. Always sounds disrespectful to me. Has nothing to do with SN people. Quote
gardenmom5 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 kiddo, kidlet, littles - all the same. I have dealt with special needs for almost two decades and NEVER have I heard of kiddo as a demeaning term for disabled kids. I've used kidlet and littles. (and I know people who use/used kiddo). we also have been known to use "ickle firsties". ;p (thank you peeves.) Quote
PuddleJumper1 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 With an 11 year old with multiple disabilities we've been in and around A LOT of medical facilities, therapies and other families with special children. I have never heard the word kiddo used to describe a child with disabilities - unless someone is using it as a loving, cute, completely normal nickname ( which I have used for all 3 of my kiddos :001_cool: from time to time). I'm in the weird mom freakout camp. Quote
Cinder Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I voted cutesy. I've used this term on my own dc; none are SN. I've never heard of kiddo being a particular reference for SN or disabled children. Quote
SKL Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 When I was a kiddo, it meant something halfway between kid and brat, but it never meant "disabled child" as far as I know. Quote
SKL Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I think perhaps the mom freaking out about "kiddo" might have some special needs of her own. Quote
laundrycrisis Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I'm on a local autism forum, and one mom about had a meltdown over the word "kiddo". (i've no idea who used it, just saw that she was freaking out over it.) she insisted it is a patronizing and condescending way to refer to disabled children, and that it specifically means the child being called "kiddo" is disabled. I have never heard kiddo used to refer to a disabled child, only as a cutesy affectation of "kid". so, who needs to get out more? Please vote in the poll. (if i did it right.) I have even seen people who get offended by the word "kid" or "kids", used in general, not for special needs of any kind, just "kid" is an offensive word to them. The correct term is "children". :smash: My response ? What. Ever. Some people go around looking for something to be offended by. They choose this. Their chosen reaction is not my problem. Life is too short to worry about people who go looking for drama, or offense where clearly none is intended. And "kiddo" or kids is not a case in which a person can demonstrate a historical or cultural link to an idea that actually does demean or hurt kids in some way. Being myself, I would probably post one response, explaining that other people in the group don't agree with the same meaning of the word as her, and that's she is welcome to stop interpreting it as offensive when nobody else sees it that way, but she should not expect the rest of the group to bend around her version of what it means. Quote
SMRB Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 My boss calls me that all the time, and I'm a 43 year old lawyer. I always thought it just meant someone of a younger generation, whether child or adult. I hear it used more for adults than children here. Maybe my boss is sending a subtext that I'm missing. :p Quote
Dandelion Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 There's definitely no connection between "kiddo" and special needs kids. I would assume that this mom probably experienced a situation where someone was being patronizing or unkind to her autistic child, and used the word "kiddo". Yes, she's overreacting. But it may just be her way of trying to process a hurtful situation. Personally, I'd avoid using the term kiddo around her in the future and extend her the benefit of the doubt. Quote
BigMamaBird Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Never heard of it meaning anything but a cutsey name for a child. Now, if the SN person was 16 or 17 but with a much younger mental age and people were calling them kiddo in a demeaning, patronizing way, that might be what's bothering her. Quote
KatieJ Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I know there is a segment of the stay at home pop who don't want people to use the word "kid" in describing a child. :rolleyes: I think that's stupid, personally. Not to mince words. My Dad used to say kds were baby goats, not people. I personally use kiddoes when talking about my children. I find children very formal and we are not formal! Plus my kiddoes are all married and have children. It's just wierd to call them children or child or whatever. Kiddoes works for me. Maybe I use kiddoes because of my Dad. Quote
Word Nerd Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Some people aren't happy unless they're outraged about something. I would not be surprised if there were many other innocuous words that offend this woman because she assumes the worst about others' motives. An older guy at work calls people kiddo. Maybe it's because I'm over 40 and I like the implication that I'm still young, but I think it's endearing. Quote
Callie Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 When I was a kiddo, it meant something halfway between kid and brat, but it never meant "disabled child" as far as I know. This. My parents used the term (with a tone) to get me to rethink my behavior. Quote
kewb Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I have only heard it as a term of affection. Heck, I sometimes call my own kids kiddo. Quote
Element Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 That's... weird. I say "kiddo" all the time (though "kiddies" creeps me out a little for some weird reason.) I don't know. My dad still calls me "kiddo" and I'm in my 30s. Maybe it's a regional thing? Quote
Element Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 My Dad used to say kds were baby goats, not people. I personally use kiddoes when talking about my children. I find children very formal and we are not formal! Plus my kiddoes are all married and have children. It's just wierd to call them children or child or whatever. Kiddoes works for me. Maybe I use kiddoes because of my Dad. I remember being little and hearing my great-grandpa refer to my grandma and grandpa as "the kids." I loved that. Quote
KungFuPanda Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 That mom got the wrong idea somewhere and ran with it. It seems a bit irrational. Quote
KungFuPanda Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 With an 11 year old with multiple disabilities we've been in and around A LOT of medical facilities, therapies and other families with special children. I have never heard the word kiddo used to describe a child with disabilities - unless someone is using it as a loving, cute, completely normal nickname ( which I have used for all 3 of my kiddos :001_cool: from time to time). I'm in the weird mom freakout camp. All of the above applies to me also, except my child is 12 :-) Quote
windmillmarie Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Not offensive. Have never heard that as a derogatory term in all of my years in working with a special needs pop. Kid doesn't bother me either. I figure if my child is following me around, saying, "Maaaaaaaaaaaaa, Maaaaaaaaaaa" like a goat if they want something, I reserve the right to refer to them as kid :laugh: . Quote
GailV Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 "so, you came all this way to jump in and swim with the kiddies?" Star Trek IV, Dr. Gillian Taylor to spock and kirk. I'm so ashamed that I forgot about that. Maybe it's because I've tried to forget about that entire movie, particularly the makeup on the male members of the crew. Quote
gardenmom5 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 bumping. she's now claiming "kiddo" for a disabled child (and only one person on the local autism group is remotely partially agreeing with her) is like saying "colored" in reference to an african american. can this woman get a grip? Quote
SKL Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 bumping. she's now claiming "kiddo" for a disabled child (and only one person on the local autism group is remotely partially agreeing with her) is like saying "colored" in reference to an african american. can this woman get a grip? This reminds me of the time I was chastised for saying "you Canadians" to some Canadians about a Canadian topic. At this point I would probably just ask what word SHE considers acceptable instead of "kiddo" and let it rest. She is probably PMSing or something. Or maybe her MIL just called her child Kiddo recently. Quote
AK_Mom4 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Ridiculous! "Kiddo" is an affectionate term used here often by all sorts of people to refer to children. Not "Disabled Children" only, any child. It's just like calling children "kids". You can tell her nicely that she is totally off-base from me - or feel free to ignore her on my behalf. Quote
PachiSusan Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Weighing on with another " kiddo is NOT derogatory" Quote
Desert Rat Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Wow! Some lady has a problem! Kiddo is an endearing term here. I also use Kidlet and Younglings when they are smaller. They aren't so small any more. I can think of many derogatory names to call a disabled person. Kiddo isn't even on the radar. Quote
Cinder Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 She might be interested to know that the authors (multiple) of The 39 Clues series and the Vespers series (continuation of the 39 clues) have the nanny of the two main characters referring to them as "kiddos" as a term of endearment. Or maybe those authors are as clueless as we are on the "real" meaning of the word. :confused1: Quote
gardenmom5 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 This reminds me of the time I was chastised for saying "you Canadians" to some Canadians about a Canadian topic. At this point I would probably just ask what word SHE considers acceptable instead of "kiddo" and let it rest. She is probably PMSing or something. Or maybe her MIL just called her child Kiddo recently. well, you know, they all look alike. ;p (slighty altered what a canadian friend who lives in the US, said about americans. we all laughed.) Quote
Desert Rat Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 bumping. she's now claiming "kiddo" for a disabled child (and only one person on the local autism group is remotely partially agreeing with her) is like saying "colored" in reference to an african american. can this woman get a grip? Really?! Here's the definition according to Miriam Webster. I was interested to see the term has been around since 1905! Nothing negative at all. Feel free to send her the link. :) Quote
Parrothead Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Wow. This is one of the few times we all agree on something. :laugh: Quote
PachiSusan Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 bumping. she's now claiming "kiddo" for a disabled child (and only one person on the local autism group is remotely partially agreeing with her) is like saying "colored" in reference to an african american. can this woman get a grip? At this point, it's obvious that her irrationality about it is saying more about her than anything you or anyone else has done. I would just fade away from that thread/forum/chat wherever it is and talk to other people who are more rational. Quote
SKL Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 At this point, it's obvious that her irrationality about it is saying more about her than anything you or anyone else has done. I would just fade away from that thread/forum/chat wherever it is and talk to other people who are more rational. Yeah, like Vulturebutt. Quote
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