How do you *really* forgive yourself for a terrible sin? (cc)

[twinmami01]

Sending hugs and prayers your way.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I have nothing new to add either, but wanted to offer lots of ((hugs)) and prayers....

[FloridaLisa]

I agree with many others that have commented that you are suffering from a mix of grief and guilt. First, there is almost always some guilt in grief -- always a what-if even when the situation was different from yours. What if I had insisted he go to the doctor? What if I hadn't let my child go on that outing? So, ime, processing the guilt is part of grieving.

 

I also think you will always grieve the loss and those feelings associated with that are okay. You wouldn't want to not have those feelings, because you wouldn't be the sensitive and compassionate person you are today. But, it's learning how to process and deal with grief and deep sadness in a positive way. I agree with some others' suggestions to possibly find a positive source for the energy/feelings around this time of year. It could be anything from volunteering, to sending a special gift to overseas orphans to journaling to pursuing a special Bible study this time of year. Can you imagine the spiritual growth from season after season of sowing God's Word into your life?

 

God's Word is the only source of hope for me when I find myself in deep grief. I'm in the Word every morning and it is always amazing. But on the really hard days, it is my very food. Time in the Word changes my outlook. On those days that I have opened the Bible with despair, raw sadness or utter emptiness, God's Word renews my thoughts so that I am filled with hope. It is so important to hear God speak Truth to you every day: if He has set you free, you are free indeed.

 

Two scriptures come to mind for you:

 

Romans 8:1: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

 

2 Corinthians 10:3 - 4: For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

 

 

When you are burdened with thoughts of guilt and grief, know that you are the beloved of God and there is now no condemnation whatsoever. Not even a hint. And I quote the second verse often when dark thoughts or hopelessness or untruth sets in. I actively take those thoughts captive to the Truth and make them obedient to Christ

 

Prayers for you,

Lisa

[Isabella]

Does it help to think of that little young soul experiencing and enjoying eternal joy much sooner than everyone else. Not having to go through this treacherous and troublesome life, which, while there are certainly joys attached to our natural life, in the light of eternity, our lives on this earth are most certainly full of pain and peril. And there are no sadness or tears in heaven. That little soul is joyous in it's eternal life. When we are in eternity, would we want to return to the earth, or mourn experiences we didn't have? I don't think so. The joy there innumerably outweighs any little joys we have here. The greatest joys in our lifetimes are only scratching the surface of what will be ours in heaven. So your baby's beautiful soul would not want to come back and experience life. After all, our life is just a means to an end, and that end is to reach our eternal destination.

 

Maybe it would be healing to think of the joy he/she experiences eternally. While you still mourn the loss, which is normal and natural, you don't need to hold on to the guilt. Guilt is inextricably linked to our perception of the ongoing pain to another that we may have caused. If we had confirmation from the other that there is now no pain whatsoever, we find it much easier to move past that guilt. Know that your babe feels nothing but endless joy in the fellowship and company of his/her heavenly Father, and all the heavenly host.

 

Many hugs to you :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[JumpyTheFrog]

I found this post called "Sage Wisdom about Forgiveness from Corrie Ten Boom." In 1946, after preaching at a church, one of the guards from the concentration camp came up to Corrie Ten Boom and asked her forgiveness. It was a very difficult moment for her.

 

Here's a quote from Corrie Ten Boom that I think will encourage you:

 

 

 

 

“It was 1947, and I’d come from Holland to defeated Germany with the message that God forgives. It was the truth that they needed most to hear in that bitter, bombed-out land, and I gave them my favorite mental picture. Maybe because the sea is never far from a Hollander’s mind, I liked to think that that’s where forgiven sins were thrown.

‘When we confess our sins,’ I said, ‘God casts them into the deepest ocean, gone forever. And even though I cannot find a Scripture for it, I believe God then places a sign out there that says, ’NO FISHING ALLOWED.’â€

 

 

 

Bethany, do you hear that? From God's perspective, as a forgiven daughter of the king, your sins have been tossed down into the deepest depths of the ocean. Don't go fishing for them!

[texasmama]

:grouphug: Have not read the other replies... Forgiving oneself does not relieve the pain/loss resulting from a decision made. I think it can be very difficult to sort out the difference between unforgiveness and the ongoing loss resulting from a decision. I think a pastor or a Christian therapist could help you sort out the difference. :grouphug:

[PineFarmMom]

_{I know this post is old, but I just read something that brought this topic to mind. I've been reading some books by Francine Rivers lately. She is an author of Christian fiction. She has a book called "Atonement Child," and it was such a touching book, and I feel it would be so healing to anyone who had dealt with abortion in any way. It deals so much with God's forgiveness, love, help. Honestly, I'm really not into Christian fiction. I usually read school-related things or books that will help in my walk with the Lord. But her books have discipled me in ways I would not have thought. This book in particular has convicted me to have love and to pray more for those who have suffered in this area. :grouphug: :grouphug: to you again!!! I'm praying for your complete healing and freedom!!!}

[stripe]

I just wanted to give you a hug.

[acsnmama]

I'm going to come back to this post and read all the responses when I can.

 

While I did not commit this "sin" for myself, I lived a very ungodly life for many of my upper teens/early adult. I hurt people along the way. I am so ashamed of myself. I fell into deep depression and started having panic attacks because I was being so hard on myself. God has blessed me so very much, but the emotional standpoint of my "Christian" upbringing led me to believe my feelings didn't matter. I quickly ran out looking for love in all the wrong places. What it came down to is I was depressed at that time. I've struggled with depression since my Dad died when I was 9. No one suggested I get help, not all of my life was depressing, but there were a couple of years that those around me knew, and did nothing. I was young, and stupid, I didn't know that I should find a counselor, get help, etc. I grew up in a Christian home, so basically, I knew "right from wrong" and maybe people assumed that my home was supportive. Not so much. I had no idea how to love Jesus and depend on him, I had no idea what it truly meant to have a personal relationship with Christ! Had someone put their arm around me and said, "God loves you, and is with you always, let me show you in the Bible" than I may have been better off, I felt so lonely, and didn't know God could have filled my void. I had heard that, over and over again, but how? My failures show that we cannot do it alone.

 

I had actually cried out to a few "Christian's" whom I thought could be loving and supportive. They offered a prayer. There was even one who told me, "no biggie, we all sin." I was longing for the love of Jesus, and one who doesn't have God, isn't always going to be inclined to just pick up the Bible and find Jesus.

 

So, with feeling shame, and regret, I'm well versed. It is a daily thought, knowing I hurt the people I love, I was angry, I was spiteful, I was lost, I was numb, I became someone I said I'd never be. While I should be able to see exactly what happened along the way, while I should be able to see how depressed I was, while I should be able to see that I didn't have Jesus, and be thankful I do now, it's hard, I do beat myself up often, but that's not what God wants for me, or for you.

 

"The Search for Significance" is a great study. The regular book and the workbook are great. I am still going through them now. It talks about how sometimes we feel like we should be punished for our sins. God gives us grace though, he knew what we'd do, he knew we would come to him in the end. That doesn't always make me feel better, because I feel like my life would be better if I had not made stupid decisions, and wasted away a few years of my life. I could've been productive, rather than wasting time with superficial ungodly friends.

 

I like who I am now. This is what I had envisioned for myself. I have everything I ever wanted in life. Husband and children, a family of my own. I may not own a house, or have a lot of money, but I have everything I ever wanted, yet there are days I sit and think about how unworthy, and so undeserving I am of these blessings. But we're all unworthy, because of Jesus we are forgiven. In the Bible it says that sinful people who come to Jesus will be greatly blessed. God has made incredible changes in people, throughout the Bible, and he worked through some really terrible people. I pray that God will be able to use me to help others. In the mean time, I ask him for strength, because I cannot do it alone. I want my children to KNOW Jesus, and to know how stories directly apply to their life. I don't want them to just know the stories, I want them to be able to see that people in the Bible experienced the things we do now, and how God was there along the way. It's all I ever wanted, and it's what I needed. Unfortunately I grew up learning all the stories, but the application to life was absent, being thankful for our blessings, even through hardship was absent. I am not perfect, but I want to make sure I use what I've learned, and how I've grown with my children, and I pray that they do not walk away from Jesus like I did.

[woolybear]

It helps me sometimes when I regret actions or choices I have made to know that I was doing the best I could do at the time. When I am capable of doing better, I do better. For whatever reason you have done something (even if you knew at the time that it was wrong) you chose that path because that is where you were (mentally) at that time.

 

Try to be as gentle and forgiving with yourself as you would want a close friend to be with you.

[LifeLovePassion]

I'm sorry so many of you are hurting. I haven't been in your shoes, but please check out Surrending the Secret. A friends mom works for them and she shared about a video series that they have put together, episodes 1-6 are available on YouTubenow and I think there will be 8-10 total, the new ones post Monday or Tuesday. I have watched 1-5 so far, you will need tissues available and no kids around.

 

Reading this thread has reminds me that when our basement is done I'd love to host those in need of a place to stay while they figure things out.

[Carol in Cal.]

Bethany, do you have access to private confession and absolution? Since this is haunting you so much, I think that it would be a good idea. When a pastor absolves you 'in the stead and by the command' of Christ, you hear it out loud, and it the reality of it is palpable.

[warneral]

I discovered this when searching for bible and wanted to share a blog that Imfollow. This homeschooling Christian mother is sharing her painful story to minister to others who may have gone through similar situation. http://gratefulforgrace.com/abortion-recovery/

[MyThreeSons]

sorry -- old stuff

[LibraryLover]

Let me preface this by saying I DO believe all sin is equal in the eyes of the Lord.

 

 

 

 

Really? I'm not a Christian, but is a desperate teen girl judged by the same criteria as a 50 year old pedophile, or whatnot?

[thebacabunch]

Really? I'm not a Christian, but is a desperate teen girl judged by the same criteria as a 50 year old pedophile, or whatnot?

 

 

I don't believe so. I think that the Bible is teaching that all men sin and therefore all imperfect. We are made perfect in Christ. I could not believe in a GOd who was not fair.

[Lizzie in Ma]

:grouphug: :grouphug: Been there. No answers but the answers you've been given here made me cry with their love and compassion towards you.

I am glad you shared to those of us who have been in the same position were also able to benefit from these amazing ladies.

[Scarlett]

I know my SIL struggles with this in her past. She has never spoken to me about it, but my brother tells me she is distraught about it often. She has a two year old now and no mother was ever more proud.

[TranquilMind]

Let me preface this by saying I DO believe all sin is equal in the eyes of the Lord. However in my life experience, some sins are easier to forgive *yourself* for than others.

 

Six days from now, February 13, it will be 12 years since I made a horrific, life-changing, awful decision. I am STILL so ashamed of the grievous nature of that sin that I can't even bring myself to say what it was.

 

I was not saved at the time. I *know* that since I am saved and have repented of my sin, that it is covered in the blood of Jesus. I know He forgives me. I know he keeps no record of my wrong; that He does not see my sin when he looks at me.

 

But this particular sinful decision I made has left me with a permanent loss. It is/was an irreversible, permanent thing. I feel the pain and loss of that decision just as strongly today as ever.

 

(I realize at this point, many may have an idea of what I did. I'm just so terribly ashamed, I can't bring myself to type the word.)

 

My question is, I know I am supposed to forgive myself since the Lord has forgiven me. But what does that LOOK like? What does that FEEL like, to forgive yourself of something so egregious?

 

It's like the sin has left a scar on my heart that will never go away. Is it WRONG that I still feel guilt and sadness over it? Because if it is, then I feel guilty for that, too.

 

I'm not walking around in a depression over it. And it's not as if I dwell on it every day. But certain situations bring it to mind, and I still do cry about it sometimes. This time of year is always hard for me because of it being the 'anniversary' of the event. I mourn not only the fact that I sinned so terribly, but I also very acutely feel the loss that is a result of that sin.

 

If you have any advice about what forgiving myself looks or feels like, I'd appreciate your insight. And if you feel led to pray for me over the next week or so, I could specifically use prayer for peace and to feel the Lord's comfort right now.

 

 

Condemnation is NOT of God! He has already forgiven you. Just forgive yourself and move on, and don't keep reliving it.

 

As a pastor I know summarized it, "Repent. Quit it. Forget it." That's what God does, removing sin from you as far as the east is from the west and "remembering your sin no more".

 

So....stop it! ;)

[Sun]

When I was struggling over a very painful regret from my past, someone once asked me how I would respond to a young relative going through the same thing. She asked me to describe in detail how I would feel about what they were going through, and she got me to really think about the compassion that I would feel for someone who I loved going through what I'd been trying to work through. It sounded very silly to me at the time, but it really helped me to try to think about my younger self in that way. First picturing how I would feel compassion and love for someone going through it, helped me over time to let much of the mental beatings go. I still have regrets; I still feel sad. I think that regret is part of the lessons I've learned. But I no longer beat myself up over things I did.

 

So, if possible, try to imagine holding your younger self gently and compassionately.

[fairfarmhand]

I heard this song the other day, and it made me think of you..

Only Grace by Matthew West

 

There is no guilt here

There is no shame

No pointing fingers

There is no blame

What happened yesterday has disappeared

The dirt has washed away And now it's clear

 

There's only grace

There's only love

There's only mercy

And believe me it's enough

Your sins are gone

Without a trace

There's nothing left now

There's only grace

 

You're starting over now

Under the sun

You're stepping forward now

A new life has begun

Your new life has begun

 

And if you should fall again

Get back up, get back up

Reach out and take my hand

Get back up, get back up

Get back up again

[freeindeed]

Hugs and prayers. You've been given some very good and encouraging advice. Follow it and allow yourself to be healed. May you feel the peace and joy that God's forgiveness brings you.

[milovany]

REALLY OLD POST THAT GOT BUMPED

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Haven't read the other replies.  :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I can't remember what YA fiction book I read which had the following metaphor in it:

 

A boy is told to shot an arrow into a tree.  (Commit sin)

He is then instructed to pull the arrow out of the tree (ask for, receive forgiveness).

He is then told to remove the hole from the tree (impossible). 

 

You will spend the rest of your life grieving for the damage caused from the sin, even though the sin itself is removed from your record, so to speak.  We can forgive sin, we can't undo damage (at least, not always). 

 

If there is some charity work you could do, perhaps some form of reparation, some way of helping others not make the same mistake, maybe this could give you some peace. 

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Heather in Neverland]

.

[Home'scool]

Guilt is a terrible burden to carry around.

 

I remember once, during a dark time in my life, praying almost obsessively to God for something. I was living in fear and guilt. I realized it was no way to live and was eating me alive.

 

I thought of the phrase "Ask and you shall receive." My interpretation of that is you won't necessarily get exactly what you are praying for, but what you "receive" is God's strength to deal with the situation if you don't get your prayers answered. So, for example, if you are praying that your husband isn't laid off from his job you might not get that answered but what you will receive is the strength to get through it if he does get laid off.

 

So, ask God just once to take away your guilt. Ask him to help you forgive yourself. And then let it go into his hands. When you start to think of it again, remember that you placed your trust in God to give you the strength to not punish yourself anymore.

[Slache]

After 4 years of shame and guilt over my sin it was once asked of me "Who do you think you are, that you are so important, that you won't let God wash your sin away?" The Holy Spirit convicts, the Devil shames. I don't know if that's relevant to you, or helps, but I hope it does.

 

I can't put into words, especially electronically, how my heart aches for people in your situation. I am so sorry for your pain and while we will pray for you now, know that people all over the world have been praying for you always, even if not by name. You are loved. You will feel better. God will heal you.

[Liz CA]

In my area, there are "Aftercare" programs that have proven to be very helpful. Can you see if there is one in your area?

[umsami]

Have you tried a ritual? There's a website called Ritual Well that might offer inspiration.  http://www.ritualwell.org

 

I haven't pursued the site for whatever troubles you, but perhaps make sure you are alone…light a candle…center yourself…and make a heart out of clay…. write your sin on it or just make a scar…. then read/write yourself a letter of healing/forgiveness.  The letter can be from God or Jesus or whomever you are comfortable with.  If you have trouble with what to write, pretend you are writing it to a dear friend or a child of yours who has grown up and made the same mistake (but address it to you.)  

 

So for an example…perhaps something like this?

 

"My Beloved Daughter Yourname

 

I am so saddened to realize that your heart is still troubled by XYZ.  My precious daughter, don't you know that I knew about this when I saved you? That knowing about this did not make me love you any less? That I was with you when this happened, and I will always be with you?  That I was able to use this to bring us closer together?  Oh precious one, please let my Spirit come and cleanse you of this. Be at peace and love yourself as much as I love you.

 

Oh daughter, I love you.  Do not fret.

 

With love,

Your Heavenly Father."

 

At the end…either symbolically rub out the scar/word….or bury it….or burn the letter.  (Something.) You could also make a heart out of paper and burn it at the end.  As it's Valentine's Day, I bet you could find some crystal hearts at the Dollar Store to symbolize your new cleansed heart.

 

Take a healing bath…with rose petals or something….and forgive yourself.

 

I'm sorry you still struggle.  Forgiving others is often easier than forgiving ourselves. :)

[Calm37]

sorry, should pay more attention to dates!

[readwithem]

REALLY OLD POST THAT GOT BUMPED

 

 

Just bumping this so maybe people will get the message.

[readwithem]

Maybe if "aries" (one post???) gets deleted, the rest of our "replies" will get deleted as well.  

[Saddlemomma]

I know exactly how you feel.  I'm not sure our "egregious" sin is the same, but I did commit one and it still bothers me at times. This is long, so please have patience.

 

Many years ago, I committed adultery against my then husband.  I was not a Christian at the time, but I did believe in God.  I just didn't know who Jesus was and never formally belonged to or attended a church.  I distinctly remember that a few weeks before getting into that relationship that I thought this..."God has nothing on me.  I'm good".  Wow, what a load of crap that was.  I lied, I spouted profane language like a trucker, and was very selfish (still am sometimes).

 

A few weeks later, WHAM!  I'm in a brief adulterous relationship.  It didn't last long, and I won't go into specifics.  Suffice it to say I was mortified afterwards and terribly guilt-ridden (as I should have been).  I didn't tell my husband and tried everything I could to make it up to him in little ways.

 

Lo and behold, a few years later, I discover my husband is having an affair.  I was heart broken.  When confronted, he told me what happened.  I, in turn, relayed what had happened with me years ago.  Needless to say he was surprised.  I asked if we could try to repair what we had both broken and carry on for the sake of our then 9YO DD.  He agreed.  I actually felt relieved to have been able to tell him what I had done.  Unfortunately, our renewal only lasted a week.  One evening he told me he was going to the gym to workout and I didn't see him for two days.  Now I knew what had happened, but my daughter didn't have a clue and was scared.  It was left up to me to explain what was going on....not fun!  That occurred a week before Christmas in 2000.  I filed for divorce the next day.

 

In March of 2001, I was lying in bed feeling terribly sorry for myself and found myself praying.  I asked God to send me someone who would love me for who I was inside - not how I appeared on the outside (which isn't great).  Someone who would really love the true me.  This is the freaky part.  Two weeks later I met my current husband. 

 

We started out as just friends without thinking about being serious.  We met on a blind date and agreed we each just wanted someone to hang out with and go to the movies or have dinner with.  I didn't want anything serious because I was in the middle of a divorce and getting full custody of my DD.  He was a Christian and didn't believe in "dating" a non-divorced woman so we all just kind of hung out together.  DD fell in love with him.  We did picnics, canoeing, fishing, and bike rides together.  He actually went to my divorce hearing with me.  That was funny - since my ex never showed.

 

Once my divorce was finalized and I got custody of DD, things progressed more with my friend.  I saw such peace, kindness,  quiet gentleness, and confidence within him that I didn't have, and I got hungry for God again. My "friend" never pestered me about going to church with him; I actually asked if I could attend with him. I knew something was missing in my thinking about God and wanted to find out what it was. I got my answer and from that moment on I stayed in church. I became a Christian in the late summer of 2000.

 

My "friend" and I married in January, 2001.  He had full disclosure about what I had done.  That March, I attended a Tres Dias (religious) retreat for a weekend.  During that retreat, I confessed my specific sin of adultery before God and asked for forgiveness.  That was powerful and I cried (which is not easy for me). I felt as if a weight had fallen from my shoulders.

 

Two years after our marriage, we had another DD.  My first DD was 12 then.  When DD1 turned 16, I felt a burden to tell DD my role in her father's and my divorce.  It was painful, but I felt God pressing upon me the importance of doing so.  I had tried to never speak negatively about her father to her during the whole time of our divorce or afterwards so that was a good thing because I would have appeared to her to be more of a hypocrite than I felt I was.  In the privacy of my bedroom, I told her about my indiscretion.  She took it all in, then thanked me for telling her and gave me a hug.

 

A couple years later, her father and she got into a fight about something, and he exploded in front of his new wife about how I wasn't as saintly as she thought because I'd had an affair too.  Rather than being shocked, my DD just stated she knew all about it because I had told her.  Her father was instantly deflated and couldn't believe I had told her.

 

DH and I just recently celebrated our 13th Anniversary.  I still think about my "sin" from time to time.  Satan makes sure I remember it.  When that happens, it makes me sad that I fell into that trap, but God brought me through it; I learned from it; I received Him because of it; and He provided me with a new life, new love, and new blessings.  So if I even think of going down that guilt-ridden path, I just smile to myself and say, "Ah, but Satan, you lost that battle, because I'm with Him now and He loves me despite what I have done.  Jesus made sure of that."

 

Like you, I also believe that sin is sin whether it be adultery, lying, homosexuality, selfishness, covetousness, abortion, sloth, greed, murder, profane language, et. al.  (I have to include everything I can think of because I just recently got lambasted on another thread because of my opinion and lumping certain sins in with other sins, so please forgive the length of that list.) However, we have Jesus and He died for a purpose.  He didn't promise we will forget our sins, but that they will be forgiven.  Remembering helps to keep us on the straight and narrow and not to forget how easily we can fall. But we can remember without the crushing guilt because of the promises Jesus does make and the knowledge that He forgives us and blesses us anew every morning.  Beauty arises out of ashes.

 

I hope this helps you.  I have NEVER posted/relayed this information before other than to my DH and eldest DD.  My own mother doesn't know about this.  However, I feel you needed to hear this and to know that NO ONE is perfect but He who sustains us.  We have all fallen short and will continue to do so until we are with Him in Heaven.

 

May Jesus bless you and keep you.

 

 

 

 

[Jennifer132]

Oops, old thread!

[Catwoman]

Maybe if "aries" (one post???) gets deleted, the rest of our "replies" will get deleted as well.

 

Unfortunately, because people responded to Aries' post, it doesn't make a difference if it gets deleted. The thread will still stay where it is.

 

Of course, the moderators could delete the entire thread, but it's not particularly controversial, so I don't see it happening unless Bethany requests it or a lot of people report it.

[Tamarind]

I truly believe that we only find God in the present. When we are dwelling in regret of the past or in anxiety over the future, we are not living with God. This is the territory of the enemy. What better for the enemy than to keep you from truly internalizing the forgiveness that God has granted you. I know this is easier said than done. Believe me when I say that I have spent many years in the past and in the future and not enough time in the present. It is a conscious choice to choose to live in the present and a habit that you can form in your life.

 

All of this is said in love and, like I said, I don't know your situation. Just know that Jesus loves you. You are made in the image of God. He knew you before He formed you in your mother's womb. He wants to heal you of this. There is nothing that you can do to make God stop loving you. Think of how much you love your children in the limited way that humans can love and then think of the infinite love that God has for you. Let his love wash over you and heal you. Let God take this cross from you. Offer up your suffering over this to God to use how he sees fit and leave your sin at the foot of his cross. He died for your sins. Accept the grace and forgiveness he is offering you! I will pray for you.

 

What a beautiful post! Thank you!

[Tamarind]

I truly believe that we only find God in the present. When we are dwelling in regret of the past or in anxiety over the future, we are not living with God. This is the territory of the enemy. What better for the enemy than to keep you from truly internalizing the forgiveness that God has granted you. I know this is easier said than done. Believe me when I say that I have spent many years in the past and in the future and not enough time in the present. It is a conscious choice to choose to live in the present and a habit that you can form in your life.

 

All of this is said in love and, like I said, I don't know your situation. Just know that Jesus loves you. You are made in the image of God. He knew you before He formed you in your mother's womb. He wants to heal you of this. There is nothing that you can do to make God stop loving you. Think of how much you love your children in the limited way that humans can love and then think of the infinite love that God has for you. Let his love wash over you and heal you. Let God take this cross from you. Offer up your suffering over this to God to use how he sees fit and leave your sin at the foot of his cross. He died for your sins. Accept the grace and forgiveness he is offering you! I will pray for you.

 

Sorry for the double post, but then the advice is worth reading more than once!