Chris in VA Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 This is happening tomorrow to a family member, so I really understand the mourning aspect. I have no control over it, and it really hurts a lot. I am trying so hard not to judge the mother--I know she feels she has no alternative, even tho we've offered several. She is in both pain and denial. It's a terrible place to be. A dear friend, who had made that decision as a young woman, invited me to a funeral she had for the child. It was quite profound, and very healing. Perhaps your pastor would help you do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jms Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Being sad over your sin is normal, when the feelings of guilt drive you away from God, rather than to Him, you need to get some perspective and get your eyes off yourself and on to Christ. With the sadness, make sure you are thanking Jesus for His forgiveness too. Pour out your heart to him and then praise Him for His work in your life. I think Paul's perspective of himself helps. 1 Timothy 1 12 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. 13 Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. 14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. 17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 This is happening tomorrow to a family member, so I really understand the mourning aspect. I have no control over it, and it really hurts a lot. I am trying so hard not to judge the mother--I know she feels she has no alternative, even tho we've offered several. She is in both pain and denial. It's a terrible place to be. A dear friend, who had made that decision as a young woman, invited me to a funeral she had for the child. It was quite profound, and very healing. Perhaps your pastor would help you do that. Oh. Oh Chris, that just breaks my heart. If there's anyway the mother would be willing to talk to me so that I can warn her of the pain to come, I'd be happy to send my phone number. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelli Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Oh. Oh Chris, that just breaks my heart. If there's anyway the mother would be willing to talk to me so that I can warn her of the pain to come, I'd be happy to send my phone number. I would be willing as well. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 dp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 I need to go back and read all the suggestions because I know exactly how you feel, Bethany. :grouphug: I'll forgive you if you'll forgive me and then we should be fine, right? :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 There is now no condenmantion for those who are in Christ Jesus. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Praying for you!! Counseling for you now, and then serving at a pregnancy crisis center would be very healing for you and pouring into others as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ByGrace3 Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 "Well you did it to YOURSELF. You don't deserve to ever "get over it". First, huge hugs! You have received some great thoughts and encouragement. This quote of yours stood out. You are right. You don't deserve to get over it. Aren't you glad we don't get what we deserve? NONE of us deserve forgiveness, yet Christ died to grant forgiveness, to appease the wrath of God on our behalf. He has forgive you. He does not hold this sin against you. He chooses not to even remember it. Your guilt is in essence telling God His forgiveness is not enough. You have to move on from your guilt. Believe Jesus when He said He forgave you, that His blood was shed for you. Take Him at His word. Guilt is the easy part. It is a cognitive decision based on God's Word and character. Believe you are forgiven. Grief is a whole other beast. You grieve your decision. You grieve the consequences of your decision. You grieve what will not be...you grieve a constant loss. Grieving is ok. It is permitted, allowed, and unhealthy to deny. Embrace your grief for what it is. Allow yourself permission to grieve. Allow the forgiveness God has already granted to set a foundation for your grief to be worked out. There might be some physical things you can do... tasks that can help you through the grieving process. I don't want to go into detail because I don't want to make assumptions that you have not chosen to disclose. However, if you want ideas, I would be happy to share, just pm me. :) I cannot begin to imagine your feelings, but I know our God does. I know He loves you and holds you close in your pain. Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 This is happening tomorrow to a family member, so I really understand the mourning aspect. I have no control over it, and it really hurts a lot. I am trying so hard not to judge the mother--I know she feels she has no alternative, even tho we've offered several. She is in both pain and denial. It's a terrible place to be. A dear friend, who had made that decision as a young woman, invited me to a funeral she had for the child. It was quite profound, and very healing. Perhaps your pastor would help you do that. This makes me so sad. DH and I are trying to adopt and know a few other couples that are as well. There are so many families that would love this baby and would welcome the baby into their homes. Most of us would even be so happy to let the mom know how baby was doing. I'll pray that she changes her mind and considers another option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 This quote of yours stood out. You are right. You don't deserve to get over it. Aren't you glad we don't get what we deserve? NONE of us deserve forgiveness, yet Christ died to grant forgiveness, to appease the wrath of God on our behalf. He has forgive you. He does not hold this sin against you. He chooses not to even remember it. Your guilt is in essence telling God His forgiveness is not enough. You have to move on from your guilt. Believe Jesus when He said He forgave you, that His blood was shed for you. Take Him at His word. Amen sister. You are so right. Thank you for taking the time to share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Prayers for you Bethany. If you can find a way to focus on Christ by helping others, it might be a start. Even if you can help those in other types of need since you haven't found an organization that is an exact fit in that area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bree Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Praying for you. You know Jesus has forgiven you and know your baby would forgive you too and can't wait to meet you one day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Bethany, I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly. I just wanted to send you some hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 This is happening tomorrow to a family member, so I really understand the mourning aspect. I have no control over it, and it really hurts a lot. I am trying so hard not to judge the mother--I know she feels she has no alternative, even tho we've offered several. She is in both pain and denial. It's a terrible place to be. A dear friend, who had made that decision as a young woman, invited me to a funeral she had for the child. It was quite profound, and very healing. Perhaps your pastor would help you do that. Chris, A reminder that you have many praying now for you and your family - this has been heavy on my heart. I think of it often and in the strangest places (a shower), and pray. Oh. Oh Chris, that just breaks my heart. If there's anyway the mother would be willing to talk to me so that I can warn her of the pain to come, I'd be happy to send my phone number. That is such a useful idea. That's what I was trying to convey - turn you negative into something positive. Sorry, Bethany, for your sadness. From this God is speaking to you. Will continue to pray for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 And remember who you are Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Twigs, BEAUTIFUL! Where did you get this? Poster, postcard???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomeinMT Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 I can't understand what you are going through, but I know several folks who can. My dear friend is involved with a ministry with the sole purpose of helping people heal in this very situation. Their website is http://rachelsvineyard.org/index.htm . My friend, who has gone (is going) through this herself is involved with this ministry through her own small, local ministry Word of Hope. She hosts the Rachel's vineyard retreat annually in our area. I would encourage you to look into this, they really do a great job of helping ladies wrap their hearts and minds around what they are going through and begin to heal. Even if you can't attend a retreat (and there are always scholarships available to make sure that those who want to go can) they have a lot of resources provided by loving, Christian people to help. Even being able to have a support group of people who all share the same burden, can help to ease yours. I'm glad that the Lord has given you the courage to speak up and let those He has in place to help you know that you are hurting. It's scary to step out in faith and trust that the Lord has only good in mind for you. I encourage you to continue on this path that He has started you on towards healing, He'll be with you every step of the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 I had some unsupervised teenage 80's years when I did many things that I could make myself sick over. Two things help: If I had had good moral training and support and supervision from my parents I would not have made those mistakes. That is not justification, that is just a fact of our broken world. God understands that, but even most wise secular people do also. My husband had some training when he worked for a very large tech company that taught him that no one makes a big mistake alone. Every All mistakes that cost the company money are a SERIES of mistakes made by multiple people. So: Your sin was not done in a vacuum. Other people made it happen also. If you are carrying their weight, really forgive them so that the impact is off your shoulders. Also: Don't forget that God is bigger than you and HE has forgiven you, so you are making him smaller in your life when you allow those FEELINGS to take over. You already had righteous conviction. The guilt feelings that torment you now are not from God. Some things do take miraculous healing to truly fix. Be open to miraculous healing, but also remember that deep guilt when you have repented may be an attack on your life. I am sorry, Love and prayers from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpac Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Oh, Bethany, many hugs and prayers!!! You are so loved by the Father! Praying for His peace in your heart and that you will feel His loving presence with you especially at this time. And praying that He will help you forgive yourself. I want to mention the Bible study Forgiven and Set Free: A Post@ Bible Study by Linda Cochrane. A pregnancy resource center that I am involved in utilizes this Bible study. I would highly recommend it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Bethany, There really is nothing to "do," but there is only one place to "be," and that is at the foot of the cross. Let the blood of Jesus cover you. It will be enough to rest there. In Him is all you need. There is no technique that I know of for forgiving myself. I worked on that one a long time, to no avail. But I am forgiven! Forgiven! You are forgiven! You are not the one who makes this transaction happen. "It is finished," is what Jesus said, even about the reach of this sin. Put it under the blood and leave it there. At the cross we meditate on this one precious, amazing thing -- That He took our sin on Himself to set us free from it and its accusations completely. You have victory, let His victory overcome your losses, let His comfort heal your soul. Hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 My other technique is to convince myself carrying this sorrow or unforgiveness or whatever is actually rather self-centered. That is always the icing on the cake for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 My other technique is to convince myself carrying this sorrow or unforgiveness or whatever is actually rather self-centered. That is always the icing on the cake for me. That's very true, and also how I look at it sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 But this particular sinful decision I made has left me with a permanent loss. It is/was an irreversible, permanent thing. I feel the pain and loss of that decision just as strongly today as ever. It's like the sin has left a scar on my heart that will never go away. Is it WRONG that I still feel guilt and sadness over it? Because if it is, then I feel guilty for that, too. I understand what you're feeling. I, too, made a decision -- of a different sort -- a careless, stupid one, that has altered my life forever and resulted in a permanent, irreversible, horrible loss. It feels just as raw today as it did then. I do believe that God has forgiven my stupidity; it's much harder to forgive myself. Somedays I feel it more intensely than others. My hope is that as I draw closer to God, over time, I will learn to forgive myself. "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you" (James 4:8) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 (((((Hugs))))) I have no real wisdom, but I can imagine how painful this must be, and I feel for you. I happened upon the movie October Baby the other night on Netflix, and I found its treatment of forgiveness quite moving and well done. I am not in your shoes, by the grace of God, so I can't guarantee it would be soothing to you, but to me, there seemed to be some depictions and words of wisdom about forgiveness that were quite beautiful. Something about receiving God's forgiveness being necessary to pass that along to others, and I could imagine applying that to this circumstance. Maybe google it before watching it, in case it would be painful for you. I also think there is some truth in the fact that forgiveness does not necessarily remove pain and regret. For many of us, maybe most of us, learning to forgive ourselves simply simply live through and live with the pain of the results of our mistakes is one of life's larger lessons, learning to live with it without using that past mistake as a justification for not living our best livesrght now. Forgiveness doesn't mean the pain goes away. Maybe all forgiveness can be is making a choice to move on, do better, aim more carefully. A bible scholar told me once that the word sin means "missed the mark" as in related to missing the spot you were aiming for in archery. I don't know for sure how accurate that was, but I've always liked that way at thinking of sin. Mistake. Move on . . . Again, I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. And, IMHO, I would not volunteer, etc in places that deal with this issue. I think that could rub your wound more raw. There are many others who can do that. Do good, do right, but do it in positive ways that bring you joy and heal you, not remind you of your agony. Perhaps being a volunteer baby holder for abandoned NICU babies, or just continuing living and being the good woman you are. I don't believe in penance or punishment. I do believe in making things right by being and doing right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbeth Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Would you be able to volunteer with women in the same situation? Perhaps by helping walk them down this road and praying with them you will feel some peace, as well. This was the key to my healing. I have completely forgiven myself because I am confident that I am a new creation in Christ. That doesn't mean that there isn't occ. sorrow/regret. I will pray for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 ((Hugs, Bethany)) Honestly, my recent personal problems have left me feeling like I have no wisdom, and no standing to comment or offer other advice. Still, I just want to offer this up to you, for what it's worth... There are only three kinds of guilt/condemnation: #1. The external kind that comes from the opinions and judgments of those around us. This kind should be like water off a duck's back, because it has no eternal value one way or the other. #2. The kind that our loving Father sends us in order to convict us of our sin and bring repentance. This kind should be the only kind that matters, and if conviction of sin and repentance have already happened, then it's OVER. Done. Continuing in guilt rather than in saving grace is a denial of God's grace towards you (sorry, I know that sounds harsh. I don't mean it to be so, but imo, denial of His grace is indulging in sin. Sorry... :( ) #3. This is the kind of guilt/condemnation that is scariest to me. We already know that God's purpose in using guilt/condemnation is to bring about the opportunity to extend His saving grace to us. If that's already been accomplished, then, well...you need to be very careful about where it's coming from now. The Father of Lies will take every opportunity to twist God's gift to us (guilt) away from it's original, edifying purpose. Do not follow the Father of Lies, Bethany. (Picture me looking you in the eye as I say that) Do not follow him. Do not allow him any purchase in your life, not even the smallest corner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I can't understand what you are going through, but I know several folks who can. My dear friend is involved with a ministry with the sole purpose of helping people heal in this very situation. Their website is http://rachelsvineyard.org/index.htm . My friend, who has gone (is going) through this herself is involved with this ministry through her own small, local ministry Word of Hope. She hosts the Rachel's vineyard retreat annually in our area. I would encourage you to look into this, they really do a great job of helping ladies wrap their hearts and minds around what they are going through and begin to heal. Even if you can't attend a retreat (and there are always scholarships available to make sure that those who want to go can) they have a lot of resources provided by loving, Christian people to help. Even being able to have a support group of people who all share the same burden, can help to ease yours. I'm glad that the Lord has given you the courage to speak up and let those He has in place to help you know that you are hurting. It's scary to step out in faith and trust that the Lord has only good in mind for you. I encourage you to continue on this path that He has started you on towards healing, He'll be with you every step of the way. I just heard about this ministry from a friend at church in your exact situation. Seriously - it's eerie. She did one of these retreats and got a lot out of it. And, it was in our area. PM me if you'd like her contact info. I'm pretty sure she's open to sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Bethany, I apologize, I haven't had a moment to read through this thread beyond your first post. I've had some work to do, and was just sent a new file that I need to transcribe. I'm so sorry for the hard situation you are in. We can receive and appreciate Christ's forgiveness, but we still have our memories. I have a certain thing that I struggle with from time to time. It has to do with thoughts, and here's what I've found works for me: Whenever the bad thoughts come into my head, I immediately think, "Jesus, these bad thoughts don't shock you [realizing this is an important part of my process], so would you hold them for me?" and I envision myself passing them off to him to take care of. I let them go and refuse to think them (continuing to pass them over to Christ if they do come back). Sometimes it's moment by moment, but truly, since I started processing it this way, the bad thoughts have lessened. I think acknowledging them is part of it -- I acknowledge that the ick is real, but I don't dwell on the thoughts or just try to bury them somewhere. I give them to Someone who can get rid of them. Maybe that would work for you? "Jesus, my sin and this guilt are not a shock to you. Can you hold them for me?" and then pass them off to Him. You already know He's forgiven you for what happened, so it's not like you have to feel a certain anything before you pass them off. Just acknowledge that you're feeling guilty and then pass the guilt off to Christ. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy in Australia Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I have no words of wisdom, just wanted to send you a big :grouphug: , tell you I'm praying for you. “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins." Is 43:25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Twigs, BEAUTIFUL! Where did you get this? Poster, postcard???? That image came from this blog Similar images can be found on this Pinterest board Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I try to think of that example of that great sinner, Mary Magdalene, who became one of Jesus' most beloved followers. Those who have sinned much and repented have a special place in the Savior's heart, because He is there to atone and forgive! (and who can doubt her place, as she saw the risen Christ before the apostles did!) I think spiritually she was quite a bit ahead of most of them. And her reaction to Jesus was one of profound gratitude, and deep deep love. Not just toward Him, but toward all that touched her life after that point. So that is the way I would go, try to transform any residual grief and guilt into the best love you are capable of. I do think that is more what God wants than trying to punish yourself for your feelings of guilt. (I'm not saying you are doing that, but that is a common reaction) And you should pray for yourself and anyone whom you've harmed, and join your prayers in joyous thanksgiving that the Lord has saved you. I'm on this new kick where I'm sincerely praying for anyone in my life who I've harmed, and anyone who has ever harmed me. At first I thought it would be difficult, but it's been remarkably liberating! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Bethany, you made that decision before you became Christ's own. You did not know the impact it would have on your life because you were unable to see that far. When you accepted God's free gift, you became a new creation in Him. Because you have learned to love Him and cherish Him, the things that hurt Him now hurt you. You are feeling this so deeply because He feels it so deeply with you. You have become so sensitive to the tragedy of it all because God has taught you what love is. He cried for you that day, but He never left your side and He never will. I pray for you a peace that passes all understanding, as only God in His perfect love and mercy can give. Do not despair. Know that He is carrying you through this and blessing you with sisters who love and care for you in all things. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 :grouphug: I've thought all day on what I could possibly say here. Others have mentioned allowing yourself to mourn. I think that is wise. Process the grief instead of treating it as shame. If you feel forgiven by your god, then it may be time to take comfort in that, let go of the guilt, and mourn the loss instead. Big hugs to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 My mom always said, "When you know better, you do better." Be gentle with yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I can only offer hugs and prayer for you and yours. I wold also like to be the next person to recommend you look at, and try to participate in a session of, Rachael's Vineyard. I know the theology of the site will be a hurdle for you, but the help you can get from this group is probably worth giving it a try. Please just look. No one will try to convert you. They are there to help. (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommaOfalotta Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Wow, reading your post and all of the responses.. I hurt for you. Im so sorry you are feeling this way. I stopped and prayed for you and the other women who have come forward to share their story with you. May you all find peace in the Lord. Know that those babies are with him now. They do not know pain. They do not know sadness. They are with the Lord our God, and they are awaiting you in Heaven! I pray for peace for you all! I pray that God will make his presence known to you and provide a calmness to your storm. My heart breaks for you. I wish I could give you a hug. You sin has been forgiven and forgotten by God, as it is with all of our previous sins when we come to know and love the Lord. You have been remade. Hugs and prayers to you all :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Also Chris in VA- I am still praying for the mother you have mentioned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I am sorry for your hurt and pain. Have you been able to talk with someone about this? For me, talking out loud about things I am deeply sorry about has been very helpful. I also think it is okay to have a set amount of time to grieve, as long as it is not all-consuming and distracts from the forgiveness and grace offered. I pray you find peace in this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexigail Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Lord, I believe. Help Thou my unbelief! -Mark 9:24 much love and hugs to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Hug. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. The Lord has forgiven you. So has your child. I truly believe you will be reunited one day. hug I wish I could literally wrap my arms around you. My heart hurts for you and my eyes fight back tears. The Lord knew your fear and panic when you made this choice. I can understand those feelings. They are powerful. For the other woman who have experience similar losses, praying for you as well. hug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Coming back to my earlier suggestion- I haven't been exactly where you are, but I have things in my past that I regret. I haven't been able to find a program that lines up with our theology so after years of preparation and prayer I am starting one. This may be an opportunity for you to start down a path towards blessing others with your experience and feeling the peace of Christ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 :grouphug: Bethany! It is so true what you said - I know that I am very willing to offer forgiveness, but when it comes to my own life, I am so much harder on myself. Praying for you today. Sweetie there was more than one victim that day. Maybe try practicing being merciful to the younger you. I know with my mom it helped if she gave herself that day to really grieve. She was sad for the loss, sad for the situation that led to the loss, just sad. It is okay to be sad and it is okay to extend that young woman some grace. Then step forward and live the life that dear one would want you to. ((((((hugs)))))) This was really powerful for me to read this morning, thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 You've received lots of good advice here, so I'll just offer hugs. (((Bethany))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitestavern Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I think you are so amazingly brave to even talk about it. We had this happen in my family, I think I told you about it. Juniper gave me the idea of planting a beautiful bush or tree as a part of the mourning, and it has helped. I second, and third Rachel's Vineyard. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 Thank you again sisters. For the pm's, the support, the prayers, the book recommendations. I appreciate each of them. Each encouraging word, each hug. It has helped. It is helping. Bless you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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