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We've had a lot of stuff going on here, the kids were put in school, taken out, then we moved and now they're in school again after a 4 month break. Now I have to decide what I should do for ds.

 

I put him in school in another state at the beginning of the year. He was doing great. A little behind in reading, a little ahead in math but over all, OK.

 

In a nutshell: Situation changed. I had to go to work, then work and school. Not home most of the time and had to rely on dh to school the kids. Only it didn't happen. There were 3 months that ds didn't do school. DH and I had some disagreements over getting them enrolled in the school here, and they were only put in school 2 weeks ago.

 

DS missed out on a lot over that 3 months. Now he's too far behind to keep up with 1st grade. The school wants to put him in K for the rest of the year and make him repeat 1st. Or we could choose to keep him in 1st, however he's frustrated with the work and they say he will still have to repeat the grade. He's only been in school two weeks, I feel he needs more time to adjust. He's 7, going on 8, and he would be put into a class of 5-6 yos. I feel that if I could pull him out and work with him, I could have him ready to go on to the next grade by fall. DH says he's will to do what he has to if we choose that option. I'm afterschooling him right now, trying to get him caught up as much as I can. Trying not to push him too hard. I've asked DH to find out in advance what skill are coming up next so we can work ahead, preparing him to work with his class.

 

So options are:

Pull him out, hs him to get him up to grade level

let him be moved back to K

keep him in first, let him repeat first if necessary, but keep afterschooling in hope he'll catch up

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If the 7yo is frustrated and unhappy in school, then pulling him out and helping him catch up at home would seem reasonable. If he is happy at school, but just frustrated with the work, I would consider continuing with the after schooling and work with him thru the summer to get him ready for second grade. You can always decide in the fall to put him back in first if he just isn't ready.

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It sounds to me like you need the school to help with his education. :grouphug: There will be 7yos with him in first grade, for sure, if not also an 8yo or two. They won't all be 5 or 6.

 

If you will be able to homeschool him yourself, 100%, that's a good option. But if you have to work and go to school, DH has already shown that hs'ing isn't a good fit for him. (Not trying to make a judgment there, just pointing out that you know what's happened in the first attempt. My DH couldn't do it, either, and my kids would fall behind.)

 

If you need the school to be a partner in the education of this child, work with them now while he's little.

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I wouldn't pull him out unless I were completely certain the problems that caused him to not be taught before were solved. And frankly (not to be mean) I don't think I would rely on DH. Not everyone is a good fit for homeschooling.

 

Unless homeschooling him yourself is an option, I think afterschooling is the best bet. I would work on summerschooling as well, and do my best to get the school to agree to re-evaluate him for placement in the fall. I would focus on the 3 R's during all of the above.

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I would never allow a school to put my 7, going on 8 year old in kindergarten, nor would I allow them to make him repeat first grade. Most kids entering first grade will either be 6, 7 if they were red-shirted (or have a really early cut-off). I've never heard of a 1st grader being 8 upon entering first grade.

 

Do what you have to do to get him caught up, make sure your husband does what needs to be done and get the school on board to give your son whatever extra services he needs. Pull him if all else fails.

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The school isn't willing to do anything to get him caught up. THey're not even willing to retest him if I get him caught up. THey insist the will move him back a grade regardless of what I do. They have state testing coming up too. That's going to put a lot of pressure on him.

 

I'm so frustrated right now. It's like he's being punished and none of it was his fault.

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OK, before I go talk to them, could y'all talk to me about what services to expect from them? Any advice on what to say to them?

 

 

"Have a nice life." Say this with a smile as you walk out the door with your ds.

 

I don't know why you would would expect any services from them. :confused1: They've had your ds for over half of the school year and all they have done is decide to fail him regardless of what you do. They had their chance and they blew it. Walk away.

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I suggested earlier that you work with the school, but that's not a good option if they're not going to work with you!!

 

If they won't even evaluate whether your efforts to catch him up have done any good, they are just a cookie-cutter institution.

 

How can we help you succeed if you bring him back home? Can we listen, be a sounding board, for your plan to make homeschooling work more smoothly and effectively?

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:grouphug:

 

Things that are easy to have someone else do to get caught up with reading:

 

1. My online phonics lessons!

 

2. Starfall

 

3. Read, Write, Type

 

Fun for you to do after school or to supplement in limited time:

 

My phonics concentration game

 

Not fun but helpful, especially if he will be in school a bit: sight words taught phonetically.

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Can you hs him if he is pulled out? That is my first choice. Second choice: Can he do an online hs or charter? Third choice: are you in a state where you can enroll him in a different school within the district or a different district? There is great variability between kids in first grade.I understand he missed 3 months of schooling but I can't believe the school is in any way trying to make a plan that really works for him socially, emotionally, and academically. This must be very frustrating for you!

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I think I might have missed something. Was he already red-shirted? My daughter is in first and they are all six, turning seven this year.

 

School sounds extremely intense there if they don't think that they could get an eight-year-old child up to second grade level with an extra three months of work through the summer.

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Rough thoughts, perhaps less than helpful. Here, a first grader would be 6-going-on-7. The way things have been stated on some groups I'm on, If they are claiming he is two grade levels behind, wouldn't they need to do testing, provide an IEP, begin providing some sort of pull-out learning assistance or accommodations? Maybe some conversation in that (more expensive) direction might help them pony up?

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I think I might have missed something. Was he already red-shirted? My daughter is in first and they are all six, turning seven this year.

 

School sounds extremely intense there if they don't think that they could get an eight-year-old child up to second grade level with an extra three months of work through the summer.

 

 

 

Because of his bday, he was already 6 when it was time to start K. So he's suppose to be 7 in 1st. But it would put him so much older than the kids in K if he were moved back.

 

Yeah, I just can't understand why they don't think a few extra months can make a difference or why they are refusing testing. I'll have to talk to them more today and see what they say. Right now, DH is unemployed, but if he gets a job he won't be here all the time like he is now, so I"m a little hesitant to pull him out at the moment then throw homeschooling him onto a babysitter. So I'm really hoping the school will step up and help us out.

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"Have a nice life." Say this with a smile as you walk out the door with your ds.

 

I don't know why you would would expect any services from them. :confused1: They've had your ds for over half of the school year and all they have done is decide to fail him regardless of what you do. They had their chance and they blew it. Walk away.

 

 

 

They didn't have him for half the year, only a couple weeks. A school in another state had him for two months, then his dad took over for 3 months. Duing the two months in public school he was right on track. He got behind when his dad let school slide.

 

Now the school here expects first grade to read at at least a second grade level, are multiplication and addition and subtraction with 3 or more digits.... things like that ds never got to because we pulled him out of school and his hs was neglected when I went back to work. The school says even if we catch him up in reading we won't get him caught up in math in time.

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Rough thoughts, perhaps less than helpful. Here, a first grader would be 6-going-on-7. The way things have been stated on some groups I'm on, If they are claiming he is two grade levels behind, wouldn't they need to do testing, provide an ISP, begin providing some sort of pull-out learning assistance or accommodations? Maybe some conversation in that (more expensive) direction might help them pony up?

 

 

 

Thanks, I'll talk to them and see if they can do anything like that. They don't want us to pull him out so maybe they can come up with some alternative plan if I push it.

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This sounds like such a frustrating situation. You are unable to full-time homeschool right now, is that correct? The school is unwilling to work with you and refuses to retest your son at a later date after you work with him after school? Do you feel that you could catch your son up? Are there any private school options? I think I would spend some time finding out what your son's rights are in your state regarding his education. I would want to find out if there are any educational advocates who can help you navigate this system. I would fight before I let them make detrimental decisions concerning my child's long-term education.

 

Elise in NC

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It seems as though the school has no plans to work with you. I would pull him out. Tell your dh exactly what needs to be done each day and make sure it gets done. If dh needs to go back to work, have the babysitter help out with a few of the easier tasks, and then homeschool in the evenings. It wouldn't be too hard to just homeschool in the evenings. It would be hard on you, but not hard on ds. We homeschool here lots of times at night! You could also move to the weekends for homeschooling if you are off on the weekends. So, maybe homeschool wed-sun, taking mon and tues off to ease your work schedule. I'm just saying, there are options. Go with your gut!

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I've been in your shoes just over a year ago. We moved to Fl and my child with learning difficulties went from succeeding and being top of his class to failing with no hopes of recovery according to his new school. They bullied us for months to move him back to first (he was turning 8 at the time). We said no, they pushed harder, we pushed back, they intimidated us. It was a nightmare. Every part of my being said homeschool and yet I doubted myself and caved to the schools wishes. My son made NO progress in the first grade room and the year was a total waste. He ended up anxious, depressed and lacking any confidence - issues we are still dealing with. We not only pulled him out but also his sister who was doing well. The school had their opportunity and they failed. All they cared about was that he not affect their test scores. I wish I would have pulled him the first time they mentioned retention.

 

It's not easy being in your shoes. Listen to your gut.

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If I were in your situation I would consider pulling him and having him do an online program. Perhaps even Time4Learning. Your hubby wouldn't have to do much. Then when you were home, evenings/weekends? you could work on something like Singapore Math or Math Mammoth. I'd focus on the 3 R's and leave science and history to reading Non-fiction books when he's interested. You might even ask your school if they have an dealing with K-12. Some districts here have K-12 available for free.

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The services I had in mind when i said get services in place would be time with a reading specialist and a math specialist, if the school has one. Your son can't be the only kid in the entire school who is working behind grade level at the moment. I would think with consistent extra help your son ought to be able to catch up. The expectations you listed in a previous post are unreasonable for 1st graders.

 

Have you tried searching your district or state department of education website to see the official grade level expectations? I bet you would find the official requirements are not what the school is telling you. You should be able to find very detailed requirements on one of those websites (not sure if all states are the same, but in my state, it's the state department of ed that sets the standards for all schools in the state). Your son might not be as far behind as the school is telling you. I've never heard of requiring multiplication in 1st grade. They might introduce it to the kids, but I can't imagine they would expect any sort of mastery.

 

I think I would likely go over the head of the principal to someone at the district level, if necessary. Surely someone out there realizes that having an 7 going on 8 year old in K would be detrimental to that child emotionally.

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The school says there is no way to remediate him. That their standards are much higher than that of the curriculum I had been using. The only recourse at this point is to put him in K. Even if he were caught up, and they don't think that can happen, they still have to make him repeat 1st and that is just the way it is. THey say they have no control over that. As far as his age goes, they say it is less traumatic now than it would be next year.

 

Then they wanted to hear what I was thinking because they care. After basically telling me it didn't matter what I said or did that is what they would do. I cried.

 

Also, my 5th grader who has an LD is being retained. Based on 2 weeks worth of grades they say they have to. She's catching onto new concepts quickly, but her grades based on material she was just coming in on, are low enough to keep her back. She will get to go to special classes, which is good, she needs them. But she can't go onto the next grade.

 

Changing schools is not an option, and there is no online public school here. There is a private online option and there are private schools but we can't afford them.

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The services I had in mind when i said get services in place would be time with a reading specialist and a math specialist, if the school has one. Your son can't be the only kid in the entire school who is working behind grade level at the moment. I would think with consistent extra help your son ought to be able to catch up. The expectations you listed in a previous post are unreasonable for 1st graders.

 

Have you tried searching your district or state department of education website to see the official grade level expectations? I bet you would find the official requirements are not what the school is telling you. You should be able to find very detailed requirements on one of those websites (not sure if all states are the same, but in my state, it's the state department of ed that sets the standards for all schools in the state). Your son might not be as far behind as the school is telling you. I've never heard of requiring multiplication in 1st grade. They might introduce it to the kids, but I can't imagine they would expect any sort of mastery.

 

I think I would likely go over the head of the principal to someone at the district level, if necessary. Surely someone out there realizes that having an 7 going on 8 year old in K would be detrimental to that child emotionally.

 

 

 

A friend of mine has had problems with the school continuously saying her dd isn't up to standards on reading. They put her in special classes, then kept her back a year and kept her in these special classes. They still say she's not up where she needs to be and put a lot of pressure on the mom and dd. So the mom takes her to summer workshops at the university where they remediate students who are behind. The state university says she's preforming above state standards. The mom talked to the school about it and the school told her they couldn't have been looking at our state's standards then.

 

Anyhow. I am looking into our states standards, and so far what the school is asking of first graders is above what the state requires. According to the school being able to preform at state standards puts you at a K level. :(

 

DH and I are discussing alternatives now.

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I felt sick reading your updates. May I ask what state you're in? As a former public school teacher what you are saying does not make sense to me. I know that there are some states that require 3rd graders to have reached a certain level of reading fluency/comprehension before moving on to 4th grade (the school's hands are literally tied by state law), but what you are describing sounds like it could only be the policy of an individual school or individual district. I would want to know (in writing) what the district requirement is for moving to 2nd grade. I can't even wrap my mind around the idea that they want to move him back to kindergarten, because he isn't reading at a 2nd grade level, can't multiply, and can't add/subtract 3-digit numbers.

 

I would be doing three things in your place:

1. Submit a written request for special ed evaluation. It will slow them down, force them to evaluate your son, and put them on a timeline for completing the evaluation.

2. Go down to the school district office and request a copy of the district policies on retention.

3. Start making some phone calls up the line. Don't stop with the principal. Call the district-wide head of special education. Make some noise.

 

Honestly, as a former educator, it sounds like they are scr*wing with you. Your kid has been there two weeks and they've already declared that his only options are to go back to kindergarten or be retained in 1st grade. They are scr*wing with you. I saw this happen once with two little girls from a special needs family (mom was legally blind & both parents were low IQ, low functional). The principal had decided that he was going to retain those little girls come h*ll or high water. One of the little girls had met all the requirements to go onto 2nd grade (she was very bright, but started school behind due to her home environment) and her classroom teacher was advocating hard for her, but the principal would not budge. The parents were told that the school "had" to hold her back, that they had "no choice", that their "hands were tied". It was all a load of cr*p. Those parents were completely snowed. It was horrible. It was one of the worst things I saw during my time in the public schools.

 

I bet you walked in there with your formerly homeschooled kids and their minds were made up. Not only will they hold your son back, but they will be trying to make sure that he fails as long as they have him. You are the homeschooler they have been waiting for. The one that justifies all of their poor opinions about homeschoolers. It doesn't matter if it isn't really true. It doesn't matter if the reason he was retained is because they made up reasons to retain him. Now they have their story about the poor, uneducated homeschooler who was so far behind that he had to be sent back to kindergarten at the age of 8. These people do not care about you. They do not care about your son.

 

If I was in your place I would withdraw him immediately (today . . . this very minute). Do the homeschooling in the evening. Let your husband (or the babysitter) do fun things with him during the day, then homeschool him when you get home. I like the idea of giving him Mon and Tue off, which would also be a break for you at the start of your work week. You could do schoolwork Wed-Fri evenings and on Sat and Sun mornings. I'm sure that you are limited by your current employment situation, but I would also seriously consider moving to a different school district. I'm so sorry for your situation. Feel free to pm me if you want to discuss more particulars about the situation with the school.

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The school says there is no way to remediate him. That their standards are much higher than that of the curriculum I had been using.

:grouphug:

 

The school's attitude makes absolutely no sense to me. Even if your child had never been exposed to any curriculum, this is only first grade. To insist that there is no way to remediate a first grader over the summer to get him ready for 2nd grade is ludicrous. There is a wide range of academic abilities in first grade, including some kids who are still learning to read. Moving a 7 year old back to K is not the answer, and I am shocked that this is the school's "solution."

 

While not all school administrators lie to parents, I would not trust the officials at your school are telling you the truth. I would contact your state board of education and explain the situation to them. My guess is that your public school is required by state law to provide academic services to your son, and the school is in violation of state law.

 

I actually took this route before I finally decided to homeschool. The state ended up auditing my school system, and the public school system was found in violation of state laws and was required to actually offer the academic services or lose state funds. The school officials knew they were in violation of state laws and lied to me in the process. My kids didn't benefit from the state audit, but other kids did.

 

 

I would also begin to keep a paper trail. I have also had friends bring a tape recorder into meeting with school officials. My friends say that the tone of the meeting is much different when the administrators know the tape recorder is running.

 

Another avenue to explore is to see if your state has a person who will accompany you to the meetings you have with the school officials. Our county provides parents with this service free of charge.

 

Good luck.

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Other than the fact that I'm not a former school teacher, I was going to post almost exactly what MiniVanMom just did. I looked up my district's policies (in MO) on retention and here it is only required at the end of 4th grade if you are more than 1 year behind in reading. Even then you are given the option of attending summer school to bring your reading level up so it's not automatic.

 

Print out the state standards and take them with you to the school and request an explanation as to how your son does not meet state standards. Write a letter to the assistant superintendent for elementary education (or some similar title) at your district explaining the situation and the fact that you want to work with the school to bring your son up to grade level rather than retain him (make sure you include his age). Let everyone know that you are opposed to this and will not sign anything agreeing to it (they may need your signature for it to actually happen even though they are telling you it's inevitable). Make sure the school principal is aware that you are not going to let this go quietly.

 

If all else fails, pull him out and figure out a way to make sure the homeschooling happens.

 

I have to say that I am usually just a lurker, but this situation has me furious for you!

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Based on your update about your friend, there may be more going on here. This sounds like they are holding children back in order to manipulate test scores. If I were you I would be moving my complaints up the line until I found someone who was willing to listen. I think bringing a tape recorder to future meetings is a great idea. I would be clarifying and documenting every single statement they made in order to catch them either violating district policy/state law/federal law or to catch them in a lie.

 

. . .

 

Another avenue to explore is to see if your state has a person who will accompany you to the meetings you have with the school officials. Our county provides parents with this service free of charge.

 

Good luck.

 

. . .

 

Print out the state standards and take them with you to the school and request an explanation as to how your son does not meet state standards. Write a letter to the assistant superintendent for elementary education (or some similar title) at your district explaining the situation and the fact that you want to work with the school to bring your son up to grade level rather than retain him (make sure you include his age). Let everyone know that you are opposed to this and will not sign anything agreeing to it (they may need your signature for it to actually happen even though they are telling you it's inevitable). Make sure the school principal is aware that you are not going to let this go quietly.

. . .

 

 

I agree. These are two things that I forgot. Check to see if there is an advocate to take with you. You could ask the district-wide head of special education services (when you call to complain) or call around to special education advocacy groups in your area. They should be able to point you in the right direction.

 

And yes, absolutely, do not sign anything. Make it clear that you strongly oppose both moving him back to kindergarten and retaining him in first grade. Do not sign anything.

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Minivan Mom (and others) have spoken so well. It does sound as though the schho is doing something illegal, or borderline illegal.

 

An advocate sounds like a good idea, because your school sounds as though they are accustomed to crushing parents, not to mention students. Often advocate's names come up in newspaper articles, so googling local newspaper websites might turn up something. Check with special needs parents groups -- autism groups are often very active, and you may get some good leads there. If you want/need to keep your dc in school, you may eventually want a lawyer. More expensive, but if you are filing due process complaints, school will have a lawyer, and having your own puts you in a better position.

 

Even if you do not have an advocate, take someone with you to write down everything that is said (better than taping). Follow up with emails/letters, so that you create a paper trail documenting what was said and when and by whom. Right now, sit down and write what has happened so far -- write in longhand in a bound book, like a composition book. Write in ink; if you change something, cross out, do not white out.

 

You might want to google '--- school district v.' Maybe add a word like 'case.' There may already be lawsuits against your district. School Board minutes (if posted online) may have some good info re policies.

 

BTW, No Child Left Behind means just that -- children should receive the support they need so that they are not left (or put) BEHIND!! But I do agree that school may be attempting to manipulate scores. What do they do with special needs students? There should be resources there to INCLUDE them. There should also be a commitment to short term remediation for students who need a boost. If your community is multi-cultural and/or has multi-economic levels, it would be interesting to see what proportion of students held back are minorities or economically disadvantaged. In our state (NJ) at least, the state education department does not tolerate that.

 

And I just wanted to echo other people's gut feeling that something is very, very wrong with your teacher or school or district, or all three.

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If your son really is this far behind, I think you need to start the process to get him an IEP. I don't care how challenging their curriculum is. This isn't normal.

 

(by not normal, I mean that no two first grade curriculums should be so far apart that he can't be caught up in several months).

 

For your daughter, is there an LD advocacy group around you? I think you should get in touch with these people.

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Having flashbacks!!!

 

Something similar happened to my son, although the initial circumstances were different.

He experienced bullying problems in K at school A, and they did little to nothing to resolve it, and their expectations for a Kindergartner were ridiculously high, so we changed schools.

 

School B: He was behind a little, but nothing a good teacher couldn't fix. But the teacher wasn't good.

she and the school were impatient and had ridiculous standards as well. He had a rough year to say the least and they held him back (so he did first grade twice). Truth was his dad and I were going through a divorce during that time and he couldn't focus. Since I was my own mess, I didn't see this as the main issue until later on. School knew he couldn't focus however and thought "all year" he may have a LD and didn't care enough to mention it until last few months of his second 1st grade year.

 

So, here I had a kiddo that already started K at almost 6 years old, had some starting off issues, and went through an emotional rough patch.

and so he was 8 doing 1st grade again.

 

After two years of 1st grade at that school, I moved him back to School A (his dad had a stupid emotional attachment to School A, since that's where he and his siblings attended as a child...I should have said "I don't care" and and brought him home but I didn't). I taught my dd very successfully for 3 years at home, so I could have done it.

 

After moving him back to School A for 2nd grade, its like he just gave up and stopped trying to learn altogether. His teacher that year was a brand new graduate, with no experience in dealing with a child that needed a bit of extra help. I asked repeatedly if ds could move to a different class or get extra help and the answer was no, he was fine where he was. Uh, no...he was not. He was hiding his homework underneath the bed and daydreaming at school and being largely ignored.

 

I should have pulled him out then but I was trying to "make it on my own" as a single parent and didn't accept the offer to move in with my parents and home school him. I had to force the school to test him...it took a whole school year. Turns out, he had mild ADHD and a mild sensory processing disorder. Mild but yet enough to be a disaster.

 

Fast forward to 3rd grade...he was still doing poorly (even with an in-school reading specialist, an IEP, after-schooling and a hired math tutor) and so I decided to move in with a relative and homeschool for the rest of 3rd.

We spent most of the first 4 months "unschooling" because his attitude was so negative towards anything school related. So we read stories, did science projects and took lots of nature walks. May and june we did more formal schooling (attitude improved and he was doing great).

 

His dad, however, insisted all along that this was not "doing school" and forced me to put him back in his old school (failure School A).

 

The school immediately made me put him back in 3rd the next year without even testing him or talking to me about it, simply because he had been homeschooled.

 

Fast forward past bad-decision-after-bad-decision-land and onto present...he is 12, in the 4th and doing "okay" according to the school...he could however "apply himself more".

 

He is not doing okay -or anything resembling it- because his most recent report card was a B, a C, a D and an F. The F was in science - his favorite subject. When I questioned ds why he got an F, the answer was "they don't teach it right...it's all bookwork...that's not science", and "my special reading teacher keeps me with her during the first half of science class so I miss the instruction". (The teacher isn't helpful at getting him up to speed daily. I think its because she is old and doesn't want to mess with it personally). Called school...it's my sons fault, not brilliant science extraordinaire or the schools high standard science curriculum or the fact that he is in with a tutoring group instead of with his classmates. ...a tutoring group that more resembles study hall for the maladjusted.

 

There's a multitude of problems with this school and yet they have an "excellent record". Our city just gave "report cards" to all of the schools in the district and ours received a B+....one of the highest in the district. That's a crock if you ask me. (The only thing that's truly high in that particular district are the property taxes). The principal treats both of us horribly, I think because I made such a stink about the bullying in K and now mostly because I pulled him out to homeschool in the 3rd.

 

So...this will be his last year in public schools until high school (if I can afford private by then or get him into a good charter school). He and I are really happy with this decision and will not be looking back.

 

My advice would be to teach him at home until he is up to speed. Your sons experience won't be the same as mine but after years of this nightmare experience, I wish I could just go back and spend that one year homeschooling him, until I had really found a better school for the rest. Sorry for the long-winded story.

 

Good luck and trust your own instincts!! I feel your pain.

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I don't have a lot to add but just wanted to say that I am sorry the school is being so arbitrary and obnoxious. I would encourage you to escalate the situation to the district or to the state ombudsman who oversees these issues. Is there another school he can attend in the same district? Any alternative programs? stay strong - you know your child better than they do. Triple digit multiplication in 1st grade is insane and you can bet your butt it's not on the state test.

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i would pull him out. the school is not working with you at all! i find it completely ridiculous and unacceptable to tell you there is no hope in catching your son up on first grade work between now and the the start of next year??? that is absurd! of course your son can be up to grade level by the end of summer!

 

your little boy has no learning disabilities. he sounds like he is smart little guy & has been on grade level with no issue until recently. i would focus on a consistent schedule and just meet him where he's at now. he will be caught up in no time.

 

i'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. i think this situation sounds frustrating beyond words. i can't believe they refuse to retest him & have sealed his fate so quickly.

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Now the school here expects first grade to read at at least a second grade level, are multiplication and addition and subtraction with 3 or more digits.... things like that ds never got to because we pulled him out of school and his hs was neglected when I went back to work. The school says even if we catch him up in reading we won't get him caught up in math in time.

 

 

honestly, even if your husband had been working with your son on a daily basis, he would have never covered 3 digit multiplication with him & he still would have been behind when he re-entered into PS. multiplication is not covered in first grade, let alone 3 digit multiplication.

 

i'm not really a fighter. but i think i would fight this one tooth and nail. i agree with PP that said go above the school on this one & figure out who you need to speak with to change things.

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3 digit multiplication is 4th grade. is your school insane??? Does your state adopt common core? If so, they can't just force him to go K just because he can meet the crazy "school" standard.

I believe 1st grade is only adding/sub to 20 and multiplcation concept. Which I really think will not be hard to catch up. If school insist, I will pull him. 8 years in Kinder just not right

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I think it's the addition and subtraction that are 3 or more digits, not the multiplication.

 

lol... I can't write and can't read apparently :ack2: !!!!

Even that, Mykids uses Singapore math and that does not cover 3 digit add/sub until 2nd garde. And I assume SM is ahead from everything I heard. Her school still going way to fast for 1st grade.

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Having flashbacks!!!

 

. . .

 

Fast forward past bad-decision-after-bad-decision-land and onto present...he is 12, in the 4th and doing "okay" according to the school...he could however "apply himself more".

 

. . .

 

There's a multitude of problems with this school and yet they have an "excellent record". Our city just gave "report cards" to all of the schools in the district and ours received a B+....one of the highest in the district. That's a crock if you ask me. (The only thing that's truly high in that particular district are the property taxes). The principal treats both of us horribly, I think because I made such a stink about the bullying in K and now mostly because I pulled him out to homeschool in the 3rd.

 

. . .

 

 

I am so sorry about your situation. I don't want to hijack, but there is no excuse for a 12-year-old being placed in 4th grade. How does a child deal with that kind of a situation emotionally and still retain any confidence in their ability to learn? It is beyond ridiculous. It also puts your 12-year-old boy in the same class with 9-year-old girls! What a terrible situation. If he were to continue at the normal rate of school progression, then he would be 18 yrs in the 10th grade, attending class alongside 15 yr-old girls. What happens if he starts dating one of his classmates? If they had consensual s*x, your son could be charged with st*tutory r*pe. The reality, though, is that most 18-yr-old 10th graders will just give up and drop out. There is no excuse for a situation like this. Please pull him out to homeschool him. That may be the only way he ever catches up.

 

This is another example of the kind of ridiculous retention that can happen in certain affluent districts. They try keep their test scores up by holding children back. The schools look good on paper at the expense of the children. I'm afraid I don't have time right now to cite individual studies on the negative effects of retention. I don't agree with all of their political positions, but here's a decent summary of the research from www.fairtest.org:

 

"A long history of research on retention has shown:

  • Retention does not help students to catch up; student's who are retained do no better or even worse on standardized tests and other measures
  • Students who are retained drop out more often than other students. Students that have been retained once have a 40% higher chance of dropping out and a 60% higher chance if retained twice. This happens largely because being overage in-grade damages students' self confidence and leads them to disengage from school.
  • Retention rates are higher for African Americans, Latinos and children from low-income families. These students are also the most likely to have the least qualified teachers and other resources to help them succeed. Males are also retained more often than females.
  • Despite what the large body of research says, supporters of retention continue to argue that just the threat of retention will motivate students to work harder and learn more, while those that are retained will learn more after a second repetition. Again, research shows it doesn't work this way. Repeating the same material twice does not result in sustained achievement from retained students, and in the long run, threats prove to be a very weak motivator.
  • Such policies also rest on an unproven assumption that when students aren't learning it is students that are most to blame. Students do hold some responsibility, but teachers, school administrators, parents, and district and state officials all share in the responsibility to provide quality teaching, adequate resources, support and direction. Grade retention policies generally fail to address or improve these critical components to education."

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There's 7 1/2 months until the start of next school year. He certainly should be able to catch up enough to be in 2nd grade by that point, especially if he has someone working with him one-on-one. An entire school year is only 9 1/2 months and there is a ton of time wasted. Their expectations are definitely unrealistic, but their refusal to work with him, or you, on solutions is more of a problem IMO.

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I think you and DH need to decide if you wish to put a lot of time and effort into advocating for your children with this school or if you would be better served finding a schedule that will allow you to homeschool. Fights with the schools can be long and drawn out, they benefit everyone in the end but sometimes the fight isn't worth the impact to your child. (Ask me how I know. ;) )

 

If you are going to advocate for your children then I would look into someone like ARC. When I was fighting the school district I contacted them and they had an advocate that attended all meetings and advocated on behalf of my child. They are very up on policies and laws and would be a good resource to tap. In our area it is a free service.

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Tibbie Dunbar...I cant quote you because im on my phone. :)

 

the OP had shared her son was learning beautifully and on grade level up until recently ( her husband wasnt following through), so she didnt imply an IEP or disabilities as the issue (that I read anyway). It seemed like he was behind due to dad slacking and then he entered a situation where the class was academically accelerated beyond standards to begin with..

 

OP, does your son need an IEP or have disabilities? I assumed he didn't, but by all means if that is a concern, I would be even more livid that the school is refusing your family aid.

 

Im so sorry you are having to deal with this mess.

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