jackson'smama Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 what do you do? when homeschooling feels like more of a chore, something you dread and your kids do too...when it feels like it's just one more thing on a never-ending to do list...when you are being pulled in a million different directions and you can't get your 8 year old to focus on math because he's mad that his brother is on reading eggs and IT'S NOT FAIR and then your two year old pees in her pants and your back hurts and you've got to stir the beans and change out the laundry and call the insurance company and order oil and get lunch ready and dispute a bill with the exterminator and you just wanna pull your hair out but you've barely even taken the time to brush it and you look at your skin and realize your acne looks worse than it did in your teens and you've had two periods this month but your doctor has ruled out everything but s.t.r.e.s.s. and hormones and your kids have already seen you cry today and you just wanna crawl in a hole by yourself but you can't because you have to do all these things and more and tomorrow won't be a catch-up day because you'll be at work. just needed to write that. sorry for the vent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Yeah, BTDT. Larger families are a ton of work. I'm hiding from the noise and commotion right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 :grouphug: Sorry you're having a hard day. On stressful days, I like to read aloud to my dc while they clean their rooms. That way some housework gets done and some school gets done at the same time. Once they are old enough to fold laundry, I read to them while they do it. Once they read well, they read to me while I fold. When my dc were little, they would have quiet/nap/silent reading time for an hour after lunch while I took a 10 minute nap and then handled all phone calls. Occasionally, we did an unschooling day, where we followed tangents all over the place. It broke up the monotony and helped us get back on track the next day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I try to gather up the kids and read and make sure we eat together. It is awful at first. But, after a few days they calm down and everything in our life is calmer. I have no idea why those things do that. But, they recenter our family. But, seriously they end up fighting and screaming for a few days. I just try to ignore it till it gets better. I just have been trying to not let go of those things. It is so easy to do it since my husband lives in another state. But, it is vital to our survival right now. A rotating menu helps, too. Just make a list of 6 meals and 1 leftover day. Then do that for a month or two. List all meals and snacks. It is boring. But, it takes a huge amount of information off my brain. I try to include a crockpot day. If you have anyone else who likes to cook you can use them to make a dinner or breakfast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 :grouphug: I'm so sorry that you're having such a rough day. I think we all know how that can be. Any way you can take off for the afternoon? Settle in with the kids and watch a movie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I find keeping myself focused is the hardest part. So often it doesn't work to try and carry out the daily tasks while the kids are doing school work. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Vent away. :grouphug: I hear ya. What often helps me on days like that is to ask myself 'What would make the biggest difference in turning this around?". Often, it's not whatever I thought my "priority" was for that day. Sometimes, it's ditching school and whatever else is on the agenda just to get caught up and restore a sense of peace and sanity. Hope your day starts looking up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PachiSusan Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I can only offer a hug. I have no advice. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 I find keeping myself focused is the hardest part. So often it doesn't work to try and carry out the daily tasks while the kids are doing school work. :grouphug: i agree, but i can't even stay focused on the school because it's always such a battle to get started and keep it going (with my oldest) and then when you add in all the other stuff - mainly interferences by my two year old, i just can't keep it together :( Vent away. :grouphug: I hear ya. What often helps me on days like that is to ask myself 'What would make the biggest difference in turning this around?". Often, it's not whatever I thought my "priority" was for that day. Sometimes, it's ditching school and whatever else is on the agenda just to get caught up and restore a sense of peace and sanity. Hope your day starts looking up. i want to ditch school but as it is with my work schedule, i can only school 3 weekdays. weekends are so difficult because dh is home and ain't NOTHING gettin' done with him around because everybody bellyaches that they wanna do something with daddy (and it isn't school!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Well, I think you need to talk with Daddy. He can choose a subject and work with the kids on it. Then they get to do something with Daddy. When both parent's work, both parent's really need to school the kids, as well. Absolutely, tell your husband that you are worn down. Do NOT be a Mommy Martyr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 Well, I think you need to talk with Daddy. He can choose a subject and work with the kids on it. Then they get to do something with Daddy. When both parent's work, both parent's really need to school the kids, as well. Absolutely, tell your husband that you are worn down. Do NOT be a Mommy Martyr. science! never thought i'd say it but i pretty much can't stand science right now. not that anything is awesome, but science stinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Take a break from school. Use screen time to squeeze in a nap. Have chocolate for lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 Have chocolate for lunch. hahaha! i already call the bag of dark chips in my freezer my nerve pills! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I cling to routine like a life raft, and I only teach school. That is what I do. The only place in my life where I have mastered routine is school. We do our lessons come hell or high water and then everything else gets done as best we can. Dinner is, as mentioned above, a rotating list that changes with the seasons. I am not responsible for all the housework. heck, I am not responsible for even half the housework. On Sunday I went grocery shopping and DH scrubbed the house from top to bottom. He does the laundry as well. I do more of the daily picking up, when I can fit it in. There are a lot of days I can't fit it in and the world still turns. Look, teaching is a full time job. Taking care of a house is a full time job. parenting is a full time job. Something has got to give. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 I cling to routine like a life raft, and I only teach school. That is what I do. The only place in my life where I have mastered routine is school. We do our lessons come hell or high water and then everything else gets done as best we can. Dinner is, as mentioned above, a rotating list that changes with the seasons. I am not responsible for all the housework. heck, I am not responsible for even half the housework. On Sunday I went grocery shopping and DH scrubbed the house from top to bottom. He does the laundry as well. I do more of the daily picking up, when I can fit it in. There are a lot of days I can't fit it in and the world still turns. Look, teaching is a full time job. Taking care of a house is a full time job. parenting is a full time job. Something has got to give. how do you stick to routine when life pulls you away? maybe our curriculum just doesn't work for having children this age (particularly the 2 year old)??? it just seems that no matter what i plan, school takes for.ev.er and it's usually just riddled with complaint and whining and when that's not happening, my 2 year old is needy of something. and to what's bolded, i so feel this. i just can't mentally make myself get to the point of truly and fully letting something go. i'm a cleaner and i like it neat and organized. no matter what i tell myself or anyone else tells me about such things being impossible with small children. i just can't function with crap all over the place. i let SO MUCH MORE GO than i would like and i deal with it. i see the dust bunnies beside the hutch in the dining room and i've left them there all day. and the wood crumbs by the stove. and the random toys. but there comes a point where it just clutters my mind and i just snap inside. i think i need a discipline plan to get my kids more on with cleaning up after themselves and helping more but i've never figured out anything that's worked in that area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 OK, I took the opposite approach recently. For a week we cut out spelling, grammar, Spanish and science. Those are all on-going year to year and won't be hurt by taking off a week. I didn't make a big deal about it, I just enjoyed the time it freed up. The next week I put grammar and half of Spanish and science back in. This week we are back to normal. Usually I am like Redsquirrel, routine, routine, routine. This time I went the other way, because I knew we could get back into it without a crisis. Maybe one of those approaches would help. I like the "chocolate for lunch" idea, though. Good luck! Oh, one thing that keeps my younger busy is to spread out a towel on the floor and give her a bowl of water and some cups and spoons. You can use the soaked towel after to give the floor a swipe, too. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Take a mental health day and let everyone play. Eat chocolate, drink a nice cup of coffee/tea and just relax. Everything will be better soon! ((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 science! never thought i'd say it but i pretty much can't stand science right now. not that anything is awesome, but science stinks. I would totally do that. I am not sure of your ages. But, you could get a kit and a stack of books from the library and give them to Dad. Science Saturday with Dr. Dad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 how do you stick to routine when life pulls you away? maybe our curriculum just doesn't work for having children this age (particularly the 2 year old)??? it just seems that no matter what i plan, school takes for.ev.er and it's usually just riddled with complaint and whining and when that's not happening, my 2 year old is needy of something. and to what's bolded, i so feel this. i just can't mentally make myself get to the point of truly and fully letting something go. i'm a cleaner and i like it neat and organized. no matter what i tell myself or anyone else tells me about such things being impossible with small children. i just can't function with crap all over the place. i let SO MUCH MORE GO than i would like and i deal with it. i see the dust bunnies beside the hutch in the dining room and i've left them there all day. and the wood crumbs by the stove. and the random toys. but there comes a point where it just clutters my mind and i just snap inside. i think i need a discipline plan to get my kids more on with cleaning up after themselves and helping more but i've never figured out anything that's worked in that area. Routine isn't meant to confine you. It's meant to help you manage your time and energy. Now I've only got two boys, both 9 now, so I don't know what it would be like to have your ages all at once, but I do know what it is like to work outside the home, homeschool, manage the home and cooking and do this by myself all week. So for what it's worth: 1) School at my house is scheduled for a certain time period. In my case it's 8am to 3 pm with a 2 hour lunch. Sometimes we start a little early or a little late, but during that time my first priority is school. To that end, we have a lunch menu that doesn't change a whole lot and is easy to assemble and clean up after. I might not even answer the phone and I certainly don't make calls. I can usually get laundry done and I keep dishes going into the washer, but no cleaning outside of major emergency takes place. 2) Housekeeping is scheuled for a certain time period. For me this is two hours, generally between 4 and 6 pm most of the year. I do this four days a week. Saturday and Sunday generally get one hour of housekeeping. I have rooms that I do on each day. In general I won't vary that: but I can when I need to. 3) I built in me-time twice a day. I've got some time in the evening, and I have my exercise time in the morning. I make sure I get that. I find that if I sacrifice it too often I become resentful and what's worse--I try to steal time from my other areas. I can usually tell when I've been lax about taking my me-time because I start wasting time in other places. 4) Chore time is one hour twice a day, morning and evening. During that time I take care of my chores (unloading, loading dishes, starting laundry, feeding chickens, dogs, cats, medicating the animals as needed and getting breakfast or dinner underway). The boys do their chores in that time frame as well. Their chores are often animal related at night-feeding dogs, putting up the chickens; but they are also responsible for making their beds in the morning, picking up all their toys, making sure everything is off the floor for cleaning, clearing their own dishes, etc. I found that having the chores actually seemed to make them feel a part of the daily work of the house, and they are usually quite cheerful about taking care of their responsibilities. I don't know whether this is usual or not. But I swear both boys grew two inches when I allowed them to start putting up the chickens at night. I still check, but they are proud of how well they do things, and I am careful to always remember to say please, thank you and good job! That's just the way I do it. There is a big thread in the Education forum on organizing--big old thing---with a lot more ideas that might work for your home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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