Convincing Children to Learn a Second Language

[CrunchyGirl]

Please help me not fail at this! We want our children to be fluent in Spanish. We consider it a high priority for our children to be bilingual and to provide them as much of a bilingual education as possible. We own a business and work full time so we hired a nanny who is a native speaker. The goal was to have them talk with her in Spanish 40 hours a week and then supplement with books (kids books and academic books), movies/TV in Spanish, formal Spanish LA lessons starting mid-first grade, Rosetta Stone simply for extra vocab, vacations to Costa Rica someday (thank you business credit card points), etc. Ultimately we are going for true fluency or as close as we can possibly get given where we live.

 

Our son is 5 1/2. He is on the spectrum but very high functioning. Very academically gifted and very literal. He can not wrap his head around the idea that he should speak Spanish when everyone involved speaks English perfectly well. I blew it on that one, I should never have let them know the nanny is reasonably fluent in English :( I get it, he's 5, he doesn't see the value of this. But there are many things in life that take effort that we may not understand the value of as children (but heck, this is the WTM forum, I'm preaching to the choir here LOL).

 

Any ideas for motivating him? I'm seriously considering straight bribery (a sticker for every day they talk only in Spanish, a new lego set after a certain number of stickers have been earned). I'd rather not got there of course. It seems like a terrible precedent to set. So far, my friends just say to make it fun and if he learns he learns (sort of an unschooling method I suppose). I guess I just place too much value on this and don't see it as some optional subject. I'm also not sure we can have a fluent nanny permanently (I hope we can but seriously, I live in SD, we're lucky we found her) and I need to make the most of this.

 

Thoughts?

[4KookieKids]

My son (3.5) has some motivation issues as well. What I've found to work well for him was just to explain to him in very simple terms why learning a language is important, and then to just consistently remind him throughout the day to say things in the other language (which gets extremely tiring for me, but works). Progress is slow, at times, but still happening. I would encourage the nanny just to keep at it, but I would also see if you can find a Spanish child his age anywhere to have even occasional play dates. My son has a Spanish friend his age, and he really took notice when she spoke Spanish with her mother. Even though I'm teaching him German, his interest in his friends' Spanish led to a really good conversation about other languages, and helped motivate him to speak more German with me, and also led him to express interest in learning Spanish too.

[jhschool]

It is very, very hard.

I have no answers since I was unsuccessful

at it. I am hoping to get ideas from other

people's answers.

[Ohdanigirl]

I agree, you should not have told him that nanny speaks English. It's Ok, though. Ask nanny to continue speaking Spanish. No English at all. Ask her to repeat what he says in Spanish and question form.

 

 

Can I have milk?

 

Que si puedes tener leche? etc

 

It will take time, but it works. BTDT. I would also stick to Spanish cartoons (even dubbed) and shows. Have nanny read books in Spanish over and over again. Music is great, too. Even if he never speaks it, he will understand it. I raised my kiddies in Mexico, and didn't even teach them English until they were 5. It is possible. I promise.

 

HTH

[mom2bee]

Explain the benefits of speaking a second language, tell him most of the people in the world speak more than one language and that he must learn more than one also. Being Monolingual isn't whats best, being bi-, tri-, and multilingual is.

 

Insist on the OPOL. Make Spanish sentences and vocabulary a part of his daily and weekly school schedule.

As a part of school, to start with make him learn at least one Spanish word a day and three sentences a week. He can learn more, but no less.

Maybe a word wall where he can display and track his learning will help.

 

Watching the wall fill up with pictures of words whose Spanish names he knows, etc...can be a great motivator and makes review super-easy because you can play I-Spy in Spanish.

 

Get Kids Stuff Spanish and Spanish in The Car type CD's...

 

Gradually but steadily switch media to Spanish. Youtube has a plethora of Spanish cartoons and kids movies on it. Trust me, I am a big fan of them.

many DVD's can be played in Spanish. Our Public Library has several Spanish resources and it isn't even that big. I'm sure that your library has something.

 

Get Spanish for Kids type books, a picture dictionary or two and start with a topic that is close to his heart. (Dinosaurs, Trains, Vehicles, Foods and Colors, whatever...)

 

Help him learn some common questions and answers to use during Story time and picture-viewing

 

For example teach him "Donde Esta...?" means "Where is..." he can use this as a jumping off point during story time with his nanny and with you and hubby. If you and your husband have any knowledge of Spanish, use it and make it a point to have a weekly family brunch (or whatever) in Spanish.

 

Also, you could lie to Sonny-Boy. Tell him you're planning to move to a Spanish Speaking country in a year or so and you want him to be ready to make lots of Friends, no matter what. Also, just insist that Spanish is something to do. You don't make long drawn out cases for why he should read or learn math (illiteracy and innumeracy are simply NOT an option. Neither is monolingualism.)

[Miss Tick]

One thought I have is that the bilingual families I know have complained that although their dc completely understand the second language, they rarely speak it before age 7ish. Even when travelling to relatives in home countries. So, you might not want to force him to speak too much, too soon (whatever that means for you). I love the suggestion of the progress wall and some words and sentences every day.

 

I want to mention to you that the first couple of years of MEP math are available in Spanish if you wanted to expand you nanny's duties. Sorry I can't link from here.

 

Having a full-time, Spanish speaking nanny sounds great! If she always speaks Spanish he will learn, even if he is resistant.

[ladyinthegarden]

I got the idea from someone to use the language options on your DVD's for spanish or french. Use their favorite movies so they already know the english words to the story. Just let it play in the background like your listening to music. You could also try introducing a few words a week in context to current events in your house. I think after a gentle nudge he will be more open to the idea of learning a new language.

[stripe]

One thought I have is that the bilingual families I know have complained that although their dc completely understand the second language, they rarely speak it before age 7ish. Even when travelling to relatives in home countries. So, you might not want to force him to speak too much, too soon (whatever that means for you). I love the suggestion of the progress wall and some words and sentences every day.

 

I want to mention to you that the first couple of years of MEP math are available in Spanish if you wanted to expand you nanny's duties. Sorry I can't link from here.

 

 

My kids spoke their second language before age 7. My second child was not as far along as my first -- could understand but did not speak; a trip to stay with my in laws around the age of four helped a lot. All my husband's siblings speak some English; it was actually the adults who had to be told not to use English. ...My kids know my husband speaks English. It's how I talk to him almost always. I had a really irritating discussion with this pediatrician once who was advising my husband and me -- in English -- to tell our kids he doesn't speak English at all. How is this supposed to work? My family only speaks English to my husband, and he speaks English to medical personnel, sales people, etc. Do people think before they give this advice? It is really hard, I think. There does need to be some notion that there is a reason to use another language. The easier path is generally preferable for all of us.

 

MEP is in Spanish for years 1 to 4

http://www.cimt.plymouth.ac.uk/projects/mepres/primary/spanish/default.htm

[Ariston]

Does he seem to understand perfectly but is just resisting speaking? It can be very hard if the language is not seen as relevant to the child, i.e. he is not around other children who speak it. Is there any possibility for him to get together with other Spanish speaking families? We live in a very rural, very white area but we have managed to find some other families who are bilingual and try to get together once a month.

 

I have many friends who speak only Spanish in their homes, go back to their home countries frequently, and still their children are very resistant to speaking Spanish at home. I think you have to have a very strict No English policy at home. I know many people pretend not to understand English or just don't respond to it, even though their kids obviously know they are fluent and see them speaking English outside the home. That might or not be difficult for your nanny depending on her personality.

Good luck! Elena

[Yenisei]

Music is a great tool. Playing games in the second language helps too- but that's for the nanny. What you as parents might want to consider is showing that you also are learning the language or improving your skills if you already do have some Spanish skills. My daughter is learning Arabic and my wife and I both not only speak a little of the language but make sure our daughter sees us make an effort to learn some more. Not only that, but we learn a lot from her because we ask her how to say something in Arabic or explain what an object is called so that she has to speak the language a little more even when she is not taking lessons. We also take her to a playgroup where Arabic is spoken.

[happycc]

Possibilities:

1)Get a new nanny who speaks Spanish and start a fresh maybe...

2)Just tell Nanny to continue speaking Spanish to him and do not answer him in English and don;t respond to him when he speaks in English. ABA therapy basically. Ignore when you don't want him to do something, reward when he does something you want him to.

3)WHen you speak to Nanny, you have to speak in Spanish too!

4)Ignore his temper tantrums/whining when he doesnt get what he wants by speaking English.

5)He is smart. He will figure it out. I did. At first it will be tough and painful but a few years later he will be more fluent.

 

I wish I had the funds to get a full time nanny. My friend's mom is in town from France and so tempted to kidnap her and have her come and speak French with the kids for a year or so. She doesn;t speak much English so it is perfect.

 

I am dreaming for a Chinese grandma to pop in our life and start speaking to the kids in Mandarin. We would have to take away all TV and computers and isolate them in the house. So they would only just listen to her.

 

Better yet, head off to China somewhere to learn the language. A language camp.

[Joan in GE]

Whatever you do of the above suggestions, it's important not to get stressed about doing it....If the child feels tension and negativeness, it could end up causing problems or blocking... and turn him/her off of the language.

 

Joan

[DoubleAMom]

You mentioned the possibility of vacationing in Costa Rica...I think that would be great incentive for your son to learn Spanish. If you took the vacation, and he saw with his own eyes a place where everyone speaks Spanish, he might then see the value in learning it.

[dewdropfairy]

I got the idea from someone to use the language options on your DVD's for spanish or french. Use their favorite movies so they already know the english words to the story. Just let it play in the background like your listening to music. You could also try introducing a few words a week in context to current events in your house. I think after a gentle nudge he will be more open to the idea of learning a new language.

 

 

We do that. I went through all our kids movies and found the ones that had a French language track and made a list. We watch at least one per week, sometimes more. They laugh at all of the appropriate parts, so I think they are getting at least something out of it. All of the movies that had a French language track also had Spanish as well.

[Tiphanya]

My own experience

In a family I worked, even if everubody knew English + another language, each adult has his/her own language. When the kids say something in the wrong language the answer is always "sorry I don't understand, can you repeat please ?" in the proper language. I was there as the French nanny. Hard at the beginning, but then after 2 weeks, the 5year old understood there were no other way.

 

From a dear friend, american, married to a french man, lives in Paris, never find a way to make a son speak English even if she never speak French with him. They spend several weeks in the States, and he discovered that English was not a stupid idea from his mum and that other people speak it and only it. That's really help them.

[Pen]

Please help me not fail at this! We want our children to be fluent in Spanish. We consider it a high priority for our children to be bilingual and to provide them as much of a bilingual education as possible. We own a business and work full time so we hired a nanny who is a native speaker. The goal was to have them talk with her in Spanish 40 hours a week and then supplement with books (kids books and academic books), movies/TV in Spanish, formal Spanish LA lessons starting mid-first grade, Rosetta Stone simply for extra vocab, vacations to Costa Rica someday (thank you business credit card points), etc. Ultimately we are going for true fluency or as close as we can possibly get given where we live.

 

Our son is 5 1/2. He is on the spectrum but very high functioning. Very academically gifted and very literal. He can not wrap his head around the idea that he should speak Spanish when everyone involved speaks English perfectly well. I blew it on that one, I should never have let them know the nanny is reasonably fluent in English :( I get it, he's 5, he doesn't see the value of this. But there are many things in life that take effort that we may not understand the value of as children (but heck, this is the WTM forum, I'm preaching to the choir here LOL).

 

Any ideas for motivating him? I'm seriously considering straight bribery (a sticker for every day they talk only in Spanish, a new lego set after a certain number of stickers have been earned). I'd rather not got there of course. It seems like a terrible precedent to set. So far, my friends just say to make it fun and if he learns he learns (sort of an unschooling method I suppose). I guess I just place too much value on this and don't see it as some optional subject. I'm also not sure we can have a fluent nanny permanently (I hope we can but seriously, I live in SD, we're lucky we found her) and I need to make the most of this.

 

Thoughts?

 

 

Around that age I came to the USA bilingual (for my age) from having lived abroad. Attempts by my mom to keep me that way failed for reasons similar to what you have above.

 

It is probably just as well that you did not pretend the nanny cannot speak English. That was done with me at one point by my Dad who wanted to show that I actually did speak the other language--and led to my feeling mortified at being tricked when I found out, which led to fears of language, not helping it. Though that might be otherwise for your ds.

 

Problems from my experience are 1) the fear of being judged, on show in another language. 2) that the nanny type people were trying to use me to improve their English, rather than to help me with keeping the other language. 3) that a nanny is not necessarily someone who has skill at teaching a language.

 

My son spent time in a Spanish speaking household at one point and picked up almost nothing.

 

Unless the adult is skilled and willing, or the child is very eager and wanting to test out the language, it is an arrangement that sounds like it would work to teach a language, but may not do so. You may need, not just someone who speaks the language, but someone who is actually a teacher of the language. Possibly an American who is majoring in Spanish in college and hoping to become a Spanish teacher would do better as a teacher for your child because she/he would be eager to practice Spanish and to learn how to teach it. Or, if findable, a native speaker who has teaching it as a goal.

 

I have heard of other families getting an au pair from some country to try to accomplish this same thing...but again, an au pair is often wanting to experience this country and to learn English, not wanting to teach his/her language. Or not necessarily able to do so well even if the desire is there.

[LibraryLover]

Don't call them bribes, call them thank you gifts. :)

[Arcadia]

Just to give hope to the OP, my boys after a year of Saturday German class managed to pass an impromptu/unannounced german dictation test decently well much to our surprise :) Hubby and I thought they will fail since we did not do spelling or dictation with our kids and they do not get spelling/dictation homework from school. It's really encouraging to us.

[4KookieKids]

I think it would be fine to bribe. Don't call them bribes, call them thank you gifts. :) My kids have some resentment that their father did not teach them fluency in his native language. I wish I could go back and force the issue.

 

 

I totally agree with this. I was older when we moved to the US (14) and spoke only English in response to my Father continuing to speak German with me. I don't remember exactly what my reasons were -- probably a mix of embarrassment/ease (because I'd become unsure of myself in German), self-consciousness (my friends didn't speak other languages at home) and not wanting to stick out, and some other reasons.

 

I severely regretted it by college, and regret it even more now that I'm trying to pass it on to my kids. It's so much easier to maintain a language than to try to "get back into" it. With my own experience as a guide, I find myself pretty much willing to do anything to get my kids to learn it, and I just hope that they'll thank me in the future, even if we have some bumps on the road before then.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

This doesn't directly help you at all, but I wanted to mention that I did not start learning French until age 13 in high school, and I am now fluent. :-) Just keep working on your son, he will get there eventually. :-)