mommaduck Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 JAWM, I don't care to hear from ANYONE that is a landlord with the "I'll discriminate as I darn well please" attitude. I am sick and tired of discrimination against large families. Large houses with plenty of bedrooms and large yard STILL discriminating against large families. I'm not certain what part of "we lost nearly everything due to a negligent landlord" people don't get either. No, she won't fill out forms referencing us. We and a plumber turned her into the city to have the house condemned when she wouldn't fix the two major issues. Yes, she expected my family of ten to live in a city house without a working toilet and sewage backing up into the sinks and tub. Yes, she expected us to live with a continuously bursting sewer line...ruptured twice in the living room, because she had her guys just patch the line when the line was backed up all the way to the yard where the main problem was...the line is BLOCKED, has been blocked since before we moved in (did not know till later), testamony from the neighbours and she did this to the family before us and badmouthed them when they moved as well. We were broke and had to move OUT OF STATE in order to keep our family together (another beef for another time) and we had no money to pursue legal options. I had one realtor say that she has never seen anything like it...this type of discrimination. Everything is fine till they hear how many children we have. One thing I can tell you about large families, we HAVE to run a tight ship. A house WILL be clean out of necessity. Last year's taxes are buried in a storage unit two states away. It won't show what DH will be making this year. This year's taxes won't show that. Heck, his paycheck stubs won't show it. He will be making five times what he is currently making AFTER we move (because of time of the year, change in status in the company, etc). I'm even willing to pay extra security deposit and several months up front...still hear the "we're concerned that you may not be able to make your other bills"...we have ALWAYS paid our rent. Rent is the first and foremost for us, because it is the roof over our heads. (and this is the first time I've ever been asked to show taxes) I'm tired that slumlords affect the tenants rental history and not the landlords. I'm tired that many times the only people willing to rent to large families are slumlords or other creepy kinds of people (I was stalked by one landlord...his wife thought he was trying to have an affair with I and the girl next door...we both sensed that he was trying to do so also and asked him to not come by unless our husbands were home, because he kept showing up to "do this or that" and it was ONLY when the men weren't home and it was always nothing but hanging about). I would buy if I could, but I have to relocate. I need to relocate somewhere warm for my health. I prefer to live near MY family. I'm just very discouraged. I'm tired of the games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 :( I'm sorry, momma. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I'm so sorry! I wish I owned something down there, I'd rent it to you! Hell, I'd beg you to rent from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I'm sorry too, hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I'm so sorry. Is it possible to get a deposition about what a slumlord your previous landlord was so at least any future landlords will be able to realize previous landlord isn't credible? or may that would just make things worse. good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 It would probably make things worse, but it would also be difficult to do. I'm a couple of states away now. I'm not sure what all happened to her legally after we left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I would never discriminate against a large family! We have a 10 person family living in our small rental. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I am so sorry. ((HUGS)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 :grouphug: I would be ready to spit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 The next time that happens, tell the landlord you'll be reporting them for discriminating against you based on familial status. And then follow through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 Mergath, who would I report them to? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Federal Housing Discrimination Laws Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Mergath, who would I report them to? All of the federal discrimination stuff should be handled by the Department of Housing and Urban Development, or HUD. If you can't find anything like that, call the city or social services, and they should be able to direct you to the appropriate people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 The problem is, there really isn't anything illegal about refusing to rent to someone based solely on the number of people. We ran into that ourselves with our family of 8. That is why we've been living in AZ for two years while my husband keeps a apartment in IL for work. I don't know what the answer is. Eta: Hugs to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 There are Fair Housing Agencies that you can report them to. However, landlords are only bound by federal fair housing laws if they own at least 4 rental units. If they have fewer than four, they can make whatever decisions they want to make based on whatever criteria they want and this includes large family sizes. This is federal law. State law may be stricter than this but that would depend on the state. I am sorry that you are having such difficulties finding a place to live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 The problem is, there really isn't anything illegal about refusing to rent to someone based solely on the number of people. We ran into that ourselves with our family of 8. That is why we've been living in AZ for two years while my husband keeps a apartment in IL for work. This is also true. If the landlord/state has certain occupancy laws generally no more than 2 people per bedroom, they can deny you on this basis and it is perfectly legal as well. Many larger landlords will definitely have such occupancy standards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Years ago we had an apartment complex refuse to rent us a 2 BR apartment, we only have 2 kids, but they said the 2nd bedroom was too small for two people. Have you contacted a rental agency? If I ever have to rent again, I lean towards an agency, that way, if something breaks, they will fix it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 This is not what I want to read! Makes me nervous.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Do they always ask? Can you somehow lie? Or hide the kids? Can you research your state law and then try to skate along the edges? If the law prohibits discriminating based on family size, try leaving that section blank, and if they ask directly, then mention the law prohibiting asking? I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Hang in there. Keep trying. Small landlords will vary so much one to another, and big ones might be better about following laws, so I could see pros and cons of either. Offering extra rent up front should definitely reassure some landlords. I know it would reassure me about the rent, and a bigger security deposit would reassure me about damages. So, offering those things could help with a smaller landlord who has more flexibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sisyphus Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Can you try to rent by contacting churches with large family friendly theology, ie Catholic churches, independent baptist (I'm trying not to be offensive, but quiver full type theology), etc. Maybe contact the pastor, hang up a wanted sign in the lobby of a few? I'm sorry, that stinks. We rent due to frequent moves, and it's so stressful. I hate the "judged" feeling! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I have nothing to add but indignant outrage on your behalf. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windmillmarie Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Can you try to rent by contacting churches with large family friendly theology, ie Catholic churches, independent baptist (I'm trying not to be offensive, but quiver full type theology), etc. Maybe contact the pastor, hang up a wanted sign in the lobby of a few? I'm sorry, that stinks. We rent due to frequent moves, and it's so stressful. I hate the "judged" feeling! Actually, I was going to recommend this too. We are a larger family and we rent and may always rent. The rental before this one, we flat out posted a wanted-to-rent add that was honest. We ended up with a decent but overpriced home with a Catholic landlord who had raised 12 kids in their home before downsizing and renting their bigger one out. There's a lot of competition for rental properties in our area, so you end up paying much more than normal, but its a good home. Our current home, we went though a property management company. Again, we pay about $100 more than the rental price of the area and probably way more than a mortgage would be, but it was painless and no one blinked an eye. We have a family of 9 possibly going on 10 if we take a grandparent in. We have a four bedroom Victorian. I hope you have some luck soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I'm really sorry. That's frustrating. We have five kids. Our landlord did a double take when we told him, but he was fine with it and ending up absolutely loving our kids (he became a friend). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Actually, I was going to recommend this too. We are a larger family and we rent and may always rent. The rental before this one, we flat out posted a wanted-to-rent add that was honest. We ended up with a decent but overpriced home with a Catholic landlord who had raised 12 kids in their home before downsizing and renting their bigger one out.... This is probably your best hope - find a landlord who LIKES large families. We have a dog and knew better than to look at houses that said "no pets". But even the ones that didn't say that would put prohibitive restrictions (yes, I'll put an extra deposit, but no, I'm not going to pay extra rent for my dog!). So we knew we'd found the right house when the pictures online included pics of their 2 dogs & cat. And a ramp for their elderly dog to get on their bed, haha. {hugs} and I hope you find something soon for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 This is why if we were to ever lose our house, we'd probably end up on the street. People just won't rent to large families and there is no requirement for them to do so even when the home is large. Before we bought our first home, we only had 5 kids and we we looked at. 5 bedroom house to rent. It was in a bad area of town, but we figured surely they would rent to a large family if it was that big. No. Absolutely not. When we asked who they expected to pay that kind of rent for 5 bedrooms with only a few kids, the guy said he was hoping to rent it to a some college kids. Yeah. Well good luck to buddy thinking they will take better care of it than us. :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 This is a weird long-shot, but what if you could get the local paper to do a human interest story on you? Someone reading it might have a great space to rent and step up. It seems to me a large family would take better care of a home than a group of college boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 Do they always ask? Can you somehow lie? Or hide the kids? Can you research your state law and then try to skate along the edges? If the law prohibits discriminating based on family size, try leaving that section blank, and if they ask directly, then mention the law prohibiting asking? I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Hang in there. Keep trying. Small landlords will vary so much one to another, and big ones might be better about following laws, so I could see pros and cons of either. Offering extra rent up front should definitely reassure some landlords. I know it would reassure me about the rent, and a bigger security deposit would reassure me about damages. So, offering those things could help with a smaller landlord who has more flexibility. There is no law against them asking because most leases require that they know how many people will be living there and each person has to be named on the lease. I have always had to do this in every state I've lived in. I refuse to lie. Aside from being a sin, it would only compound issues if caught and could be a basis of eviction. We do have a couple of agents in various areas looking for us. Yes, we are offering extra security and or paying several months advance on rent. We have also been told that we will have to undergo a monthly inspection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 Yes, I find it almost humorous that a landlord thinks a bunch of college kids are better than a family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 The lease we use for our rental property doesn't ask about kids or their names or even a head count. It lists the adult names and specifically permits those named adults and their minor children to reside in the property. It only prohibits other nonnamed people from residing there. So fwiw, there are at least some landlords who dont ask for that information. We don't have a formal application, either, but we have only rented to people we already knew personally, so the only paperwork we do is the lease itself. Because of the nature of our property, we would never rent to unknown tenants, but if we had a different type of rental, I am sure we would use a form of some sort, do a credit check, etc. maybe those standard forms ask for names of children, but I feel that is wrong. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 Thanks, Stephanie. They require children's names and birthdates, aka they want to know the ages of the children and number of children. I got the call earlier from one agent saying that one of the two owners on her list turned us down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 There is no law against them asking because most leases require that they know how many people will be living there and each person has to be named on the lease. I have always had to do this in every state I've lived in. I refuse to lie. Aside from being a sin, it would only compound issues if caught and could be a basis of eviction. We do have a couple of agents in various areas looking for us. No, I agree that they are within their legal rights to ask and to refuse you the rental. But I find it sad that you are having so much trouble finding someone who thinks a large family might make good tenants. I'm sorry for you and I don't blame you for being angry. I agree with those who think you should maybe post very specific requests for housing in places where people might appreciate your family's size. I also wonder if maybe you should consider buying something, given your husband's new income at 5 time what it was before. I would imagine you could buy something reasonable with a lowish mortgage, and while I understand the desire to relocate, is that something you are going to do soon, given your huband's new salary? Because even for 3 or 4 years, a purchase might work better for you at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Yes, I find it almost humorous that a landlord thinks a bunch of college kids are better than a family. I think landlords near campuses prefer college students because they know the kids have a bailout if they need it - the Bank of Mom and Dad. Or, the remaining roommates can cover that person's part of the rent, or find a new roommate. If a family loses a job, they don't always have someone to help pay the rent. Plus, I think college kids are less likely to insist on repairs, especially if it's a party house or underage drinkers live there. They don't want to rock the boat or draw the landlord's attention. Not saying it's right (and I would prefer to rent to a large family over a pile of 20yo frat boys!), but that may be the reasoning behind it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I think landlords near campuses prefer college students because they know the kids have a bailout if they need it - the Bank of Mom and Dad. Or, the remaining roommates can cover that person's part of the rent, or find a new roommate. If a family loses a job, they don't always have someone to help pay the rent. Plus, I think college kids are less likely to insist on repairs, especially if it's a party house or underage drinkers live there. They don't want to rock the boat or draw the landlord's attention. Not saying it's right (and I would prefer to rent to a large family over a pile of 20yo frat boys!), but that may be the reasoning behind it. I own my home but live in a neighborhood that is made up primarily of rentals. It is a mix of families and college students. I seldom know the renters as they usually do not stay long enough to get to know. But I do know several of the landlords. I have asked them why they are willing to rent to students. I have always assumed students would be rougher on houses than families would be. The above is partially correct.....they usually make rent and are less picky about maintenance. They also always move in and out at the same time of year so landlords seldom have vacancies for months at a time. But, I was also surprised to learn that even the partier college students are less rough on houses than families, according to our neighborhood landlords. I do not know why. I was a college student once upon a time and I can say I would never have wanted my friends and me as renters! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Oh my goodness! M-Duck, I just now noticed that you were the thread starter. (I had been skipping it because I have no idea what "JAWM" means.) I don't know where you all have landed (state/city), and am assuming that you already have asked the priest to check around for you. Buying is hard enough for larger families; renting must, indeed, be a nightmare. This is an insane long shot: Visit the mayor's office and ask for help. It is in his or her best interest to have a "friendly" reputation for his/her town. Meanwhile, :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: and many prayers from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Thanks, Stephanie. They require children's names and birthdates, aka they want to know the ages of the children and number of children. I got the call earlier from one agent saying that one of the two owners on her list turned us down. My husband's lease lists all of us on the lease even though we are only there for 3-4 months at a time. The funny thing is, they are perfectly willing to have us live in a 2 br apt part time but there are homes with 3-4 bedrooms who don't want us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Yes, I find it almost humorous that a landlord thinks a bunch of college kids are better than a family. Maybe the thinking is that college kids will have upper middle class parents who can be sued for damages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 We've got a tiny little 2.5 bedroom outside Pittsburgh if you were thinking about moving in that direction. Awesome neighbors and a shed for chickens are included. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Yes, I find it almost humorous that a landlord thinks a bunch of college kids are better than a family. Back again with my absurd, albeit well-meaning, brainstorming. If you are in a college town, is there an unwanted fraternity/sorority house you could rent? I'm not quite as stupid as I sound. My present church is in a former fraternity house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 We've got a tiny little 2.5 bedroom outside Pittsburgh if you were thinking about moving in that direction. Awesome neighbors and a shed for chickens are included. ;) As much as I would love chickens (!) I'm moving away from cold weathered areas. Physically cannot do it. Too tiny would also make it difficult to function. I've done it though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Does your husband work from home? Can you live anywhere? Would you be interested in renting furnished in AZ for six months or maybe longer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 But, I was also surprised to learn that even the partier college students are less rough on houses than families, according to our neighborhood landlords. I do not know why. Probably because they're never home beyond the weekend partying. They have classes all day and often work in the evenings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 Does your husband work from home? Can you live anywhere? Would you be interested in renting furnished in AZ for six months or maybe longer? My husband is an over the road truck driver. He is home a few days once every six weeks. Right now, we are looking in Florida since his uncle was diagnosed with Alzheimers and his cousin is really wanting the kids and I close by. It will also put me about five hours from half my siblings, cousins that live from one to five hours away surrounding, and two dear friends two hours away. Texas was our other choice because of freight, economy, and home time. Both have good weather conditions for me. The only thing is that I would be afraid to rent a furnished house because it's other people's things. Keeping a house clean is one thing...other people's furniture would scare me. But it is something I would be happy to keep in mind if we don't find anything. Thank you :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 Probably because they're never home beyond the weekend partying. They have classes all day and often work in the evenings. This is true. And as a homeschooling family, we are home all the time and mom has to constantly be on things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 My husband is an over the road truck driver. He is home a few days once every six weeks. Right now, we are looking in Florida since his uncle was diagnosed with Alzheimers and his cousin is really wanting the kids and I close by. It will also put me about five hours from half my siblings, cousins that live from one to five hours away surrounding, and two dear friends two hours away. Texas was our other choice because of freight, economy, and home time. Both have good weather conditions for me. The only thing is that I would be afraid to rent a furnished house because it's other people's things. Keeping a house clean is one thing...other people's furniture would scare me. But it is something I would be happy to keep in mind if we don't find anything. Thank you :) All good reasons. We'll be in Chicago for an extended period this time so you are welcome to it if you need to buy time for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 All good reasons. We'll be in Chicago for an extended period this time so you are welcome to it if you need to buy time for a while. PS: and trust me...our furniture is nothing special, lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 PS: and trust me...our furniture is nothing special, lol LOL! I'm glad you understand what I meant though :) We always bought used because furniture is the one thing kids can be rough on :p Chicago! Wow! It gets COLD there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 LOL! I'm glad you understand what I meant though :) We always bought used because furniture is the one thing kids can be rough on :p Chicago! Wow! It gets COLD there. That's where Daddy is. We love him, but apparently not enough to stay through the winter. Well, at least not in an apartment with 2 bedrooms. We did PA winters for 5 years. T'was fun while it lasted, but I'm in no hurry to reproduce the experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 That's where Daddy is. We love him, but apparently not enough to stay through the winter. Well, at least not in an apartment with 2 bedrooms. We did PA winters for 5 years. T'was fun while it lasted, but I'm in no hurry to reproduce the experience. I entirely understand! And, yes, where daddy is...that is a very good reason :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 I'm looking at turning this in to a journalist. I could use critiquing. "I read your article from Sept 2012 on the Konash family. I had also found the case on other sites while looking into my rights as a tenant. Our family of ten was rendered homeless when our landlord in PA was negligent and had to be turned into the city to condemn the house. We placed what we could into a storage unit and moved in with friends while my husband changed careers (he had to quit his job and is now an over the road truck driver). We have family in the Spring Hill area and friends in Palm Coast. We have had agents looking for a house for us. They have found houses large enough for our family, agreeable landowners, until the owners find out that we have eight children (between the ages of 21mos and 16yrs). Honestly, I do not understand the discrimination as I've seen more damage done by those with fewer children and large families have to be more organized, more scheduled, and more diligent than your average sized modern family. One agent has stated that we would be required to put down extra deposit and submit to a monthly inspection due to our large family size. Both of these are illegal requirements, from my understanding of federal law, as they would be demanding more of one tenant over another based upon discrimination. However, I had even agreed to that, and was intending upon paying several months worth of rent up front in order to find my family a home. We have been looking at three potential states to move to. Florida was top of the list due to my husband's uncle recently being diagnosed with Alzheimer's and his cousin that has care of her father is a single parent. One state is closer to my family and the third is known to be more family friendly and open to larger families. I had been led to believe that Tampa and Spring Hill, Florida were family friendly areas. We are quickly learning that the concept of "family friendly" is subjective and may have to look in one of the two other states for a place to live." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.