How do you maintain a sense of peace in the midst of chaos and stress?

[speedmom4]

Lately I have been feeling very stressed. :willy_nilly: When I feel that way I am less than pleasant to my family. I find myself being very short with my husband and kids. I don't respond kindly to normal kid mess ups or forgetfulness. But the worst part is I feel a tightness in my chest and back. I have trouble sleeping.

 

My goal is to not let the ups and downs of life affect me so much. I see that my children are beginning to take after me, especially my girls. They are short and testy when they are under stress. I want to be the person that remains steady and calm when the storms come. I can fake it on the outside most of the time but inside I am so wound up.

 

Right now we are in the midst of college music auditions, waiting to hear back about scholarships, gymnastics competition season, THREE teenagers, a husband who travels a minimum of 20 days each month, a toilet that is clogged and poop water got all over the floor, etc. etc. Did I mention my husband is gone ALL. THE. TIME? Plus my sweet ds has had hardly any seizures in the past 6 months and then had two this weekend. I know most of these things seem trivial but they are adding up, one by one like little grains of sand but I am starting to feel buried.

 

I know that being able to get out and run helps me SO much but I am finding it very hard to find the time when there is daylight to do that. Maybe I need to break down and get a treadmill, but I hate treadmills. The part of running that helps me so much is just being outside and feeling the wind on my face.

 

What are your go-to's when the pressure of life has you frazzled? I would especially love to hear from people who have been able to achieve that sense of peace even when there is no peace in their circumstances. But if you want to just commiserate that would be great too!

 

God Bless,

Elise in NC

[Guest inoubliable]

Getting sleep. I know you said that's hard to do right now. Try hot tea at night, a walk around the block, a warm bath? Yoga helps me. Stretching and breathing and having some moments to myself. Exercise. A treadmill is good for that. Cut the caffeine. Eat well balanced meals - eat more often, and smaller portions to give a constant source of energy. Come talk to The Hive when you need a shoulder to cry on, a hug to comfort, a hand to hold through it all, or an ear to listen.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[AK_Mom4]

:grouphug:

 

In order to deal with the stress without making life miserable for everyone around me, I find that I really have to take care of myself. Eating the right food and getting exercise are key. When I have those two under control, then I react better and am able to "fake it until I make it" on being calm.

 

Make it a priority to take care of yourself. Often it seems that we moms put that on the back burner because everyone else needs to much. But the truth we ignore is that we do a better job caring for others when we are in a good place ourselves.

[sparrow]

Coloring--yes, a fresh box of Crayolas and brand new coloring book, have done wonders for my well-being in my most stress filled times.

 

:grouphug:

[Dandelion]

I'm not doing as great of a job with this as I'd like to right now, so I'll just commiserate. :grouphug:

 

One thing though: since you know that running does you so much good, I would prioritize that. Can your older kids watch your youngers for 30-60 min. a day so you can get a good run in?

[Anne]

_:grouphug:

[Anne]

When chaos reigns around you, it is really easy to put your own needs last - but really, in order to take care of others, you have to put some priority on your own needs, too!

 

Since you know that running helps - make it a priority!

 

There is a reason the airlines tell us, in the event of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask first before assisting others!!

 

:grouphug:

 

Anne

[Laura Corin]

I try to take control of the things I can control, and feel less stressed because of that. We are about to hit two years of Husband being unemployed at (his age) 56.

 

For the last two months, through the bad weather, I have been spring cleaning and decluttering the house, bit by bit. This not only gives me an illusion of control, but it also makes the house easier to run. I don't hassle my children about mess through the day - I just get them to pick up all their stuff before they go to bed. Their bedrooms are their own responsibility.

 

Exercise does help though - I walk briskly every day for at least half an hour. The dog's expectant gaze helps to force me out the door.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

[PachiSusan]

I truly don't know. I'm learning this most important lesson as well. Reading for some ideas. I do know that if not for the grace of God and a relationship with him, I would have imploded long ago. It's been YEARS of prolonged stress in our lives.

[Rosie_0801]

You have as much right to be human as everyone else. Remember that.

 

:grouphug:

[Pod's mum]

Well...I never have any fingernails and I now wear a teeth guard at night to protect my cracking teeth, so...maybe it needs to come out sometimes too.

 

Good luck finding your balance.

 

I love the bath-book-booze combination (glass or two of red) .

We have a good deep one.

 

Is good.

[Chris in VA]

Talking with friends, prayer, making sure I eat ok (I'm bad at that), deep breathing to dispel adreniline...and realizing that there is mercy, and God promises to help.

[Pawz4me]

Here lately I've had to resort to pharmaceutical assistance. Sometimes all the self-help techniques in the world just aren't enough.

[bettyandbob]

Making exercise a habit helps tremendously. I snap at family less. I used to think making time to exercise took away from the family. It doen't. It makes me a better family member. You don' t have to go anywhere either. I have sneakers and a half min loop on my street that I've been known to circle 10 times. I also have some beachbody workouts I got on eBay that I can do in my living room.

[Parrothead]

Coloring--yes, a fresh box of Crayolas and brand new coloring book, have done wonders for my well-being in my most stress filled times.

 

:grouphug:

 

This is a great meditative stress release, especially for people who have trouble sitting still to meditate. They make coloring books that are great for adults. Mind ware has some nice ones.

[Parrothead]

I try to keep chaos and stress at bay. I don't sleep we'll at the best off times. Not making time for exercise, meditation and prayer really upsets my sleep. There are many forms of each a person can do.

 

Another thing you can do is let go. Here is no sense in worrying about the things you mentioned. None of them are life or death. Two of them need to be worked into the schedule, one of them you can do nothing about-either it will happen or it won't-and the last needs a plumber.

[KrissiK]

That's tough. Some of us are just wired to be more uptight and not deal with stress as well as others. I, for one, am not someone you'd like to have with you in a crisis. And then God gave me five very high-energy, noisy, strong-willed children. I think yu got a lot of good advice. I don't handle stress well, either. One thing, though, I try to do is, is when I'm stressed, I lower my high standards until I can get a grip. It's ok if we have pizza once in a while. We don't always have to have several veggies and fruits and a made from scratch meal. Some days we can just do reading, spelling and math and call it school and I shoo the kids outside so I can have some quiet and get a few things done.

[speedmom4]

Thank you ladies! It helps just to get it all out. I think you all are right. I need to make myself a priority. It's easy to say but not to do.

 

I love the coloring book idea!! I loved coloring books as a kid.

 

On a whim today I started taking down wallpaper in the kids' bathroom. I enjoy doing house projects. It's not great timing but having something fun to think about (paint colors, decorating, Pinterest) is probably good for me.

 

And today I bought a snake and got the toilet unclogged! DANG that felt good.

 

Thank you all so much!!!!!

 

Elise in NC

[twoxcell]

Some things that help me when I'm feeling that way are; praying, reading scripture, listening to worship music, taking a hot bath, deep cleaning and getting rid of clutter, reading something inspirational like A Holy Experience, getting proper sleep, exercising, eating healthy meals, getting out in nature, sunshine, reading a good book, watching a sad/touching movie(I know that is weird but it makes me feel better), talking to my mom/sister/or close friend, etc. I had a rough year last year so I know what you are talking about with the anxiety thing. :grouphug:

[Oakblossoms]

Fast from the TV, Internet, media is my biggest help. Then turn that energy towards my children. Meditation and for me that means the breathing exercises and mediating on God or something in my life that really needs change...which in turn moves me back to God.