butterflymommy Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Yesterday, to our great shock, two huge moving trucks pulled up to our street and spent the day unloading into our neighbor's house. And we didn't even know the people living there had moved :huh:. Our other neighbor told us that the people living here (whom we bought this house from) never said goodbye to him, despite living here for decades and having a great deal of contact with him. So do we take this as a polite signal that they want to be left alone-- or do I try to contact them to say goodbye? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 We have never said goodbye to our neighbors. We have not been close to anyone we lived near. When we left the house we lived in for 20 years growing up, we said goodbye, but our neighbors came.out to see us off, we did not go knocking on doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 What's strange is just 2 weeks ago we were talking to them on the street... and a few days later their cars were missing. I assumed they were on vacation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 This happened to us. A few months later the house was on the market after being foreclosed on. Another time, the couple was divorcing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolosoli Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I did that once...just packed up and moved....over 10 years ago. I still feel guilty about it!!!! I just left neighbours and friends. Most knew we were moving within in a few weeks...they just didn't know when...until the truck pulled in and we were gone! The move literally was last minutes as well. Sigh. Honestly, I was eight+ months pregnant and a couple of weeks away from my due date. I was already very, very emotional over the move and other family issues. I was sad to leave a few friends. The thought of going around and saying good-bye was overwhelming. So, I just took the eay way out. Which was only easy at the time...now it is hard. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Neighbors can be like people you work with. They often know a lot about you but the relationship doesn't go with you when you make a change. It is odd that it didn't come up when you were talking on the street. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 We had neighbors move in the middle of the night once. A huge extended family . . . and POOF! I suspected foreclosure. This was a year or so ago. A flip company turned that house back onto the market in about a month and it sold in two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Yes. I tried for years to get to know the adults next door - their girls came over to play often enough. But theywer just uninterested. Then one day on a fluke Dh found out the neighbor Dh had lost his job. Dh made some connections and got him a job through a friend. The neighbors never spoke to us again except when we daughters them there on one of the moving days. Acted like it was totally normal. We got a xmas card/letter from them this year and found out more about them than I ever did in the 5 years prior. Some people are weird. I tried not to take or personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 We've moved lots of times without saying goodbye to people we barely knew. We say goodbye to people with whom we are friends. Neighbors we hardly speak to don't usually say goodbye and we don't usually say goodbye to them. It's not weird to me at all. Usually, people see the moving trucks and will come by and chat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 They're very busy right now and might have a different view of neighborly relationships. I wouldn't take it personally at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 Well if it was due to financial issues this will be the umpteenth person I've known recently who had to sell/ move to avoid foreclosure. Pretty scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Yes, but we had not been on really good terms for a few years because we called the police on their dog. Other people did as well, but they always blamed us. They were moving "ON UP" as the Jefferson's theme song goes, so they just moved on with out all of us. Really, it was ok with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 No, but I had a neighbor tell me, at her going away party, that she wished she'd just have left. She was mortified at having a party in her honor, and, as often happens, tete-a-tete people cling to other tete-a-tete people (me), and she confessed this to me. She put on a gallant face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Neighbors can be like people you work with. They often know a lot about you but the relationship doesn't go with you when you make a change. It is odd that it didn't come up when you were talking on the street. You know, it is funny. I know my co-workers family situation, the age of the kids, the meds they are on, who is getting divorced, who took a drug overdose when they were a teen, what they drive, what they watch, if they have guns, but I often don't know their last names! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 One possibility is that they had to walk away from the house, and they didn't want to have to talk about it to everyone, over and over, especially since that might be unpopular with the neighbors left behind, KWIM? If we were going to walk away, then we wouldn't plan to chat about it with neighbors we barely talk to on a good day. It's hard enough as it is, without having to justify your existence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I did that once...just packed up and moved....over 10 years ago. I still feel guilty about it!!!! I just left neighbours and friends. Most knew we were moving within in a few weeks...they just didn't know when...until the truck pulled in and we were gone! The move literally was last minutes as well. Sigh. Honestly, I was eight+ months pregnant and a couple of weeks away from my due date. I was already very, very emotional over the move and other family issues. I was sad to leave a few friends. The thought of going around and saying good-bye was overwhelming. So, I just took the eay way out. Which was only easy at the time...now it is hard. :( You need to let that guilt go. Ten years? Let it go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I've never had neighbors say goodbye and never done it. I don't find it odd at all, especially in this economy when people might be embarrassed at their reasons for leaving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolosoli Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 You need to let that guilt go. Ten years? Let it go! I try! :) I've just always wondered how they are! It was the year of 9/11 and a friend/neighbour had moved in prior to the attacks. Her dh was in the army and they were always trying to get my dh to join. At that time there was never a strong fear of actually having to ever go to war. My dh did not join...he has a terrible fear of guns! Well, 9/11 happened and away her dh went. I moved away not to long afterwards. I've always wondered how he's been. Is he alright? Maybe I should have been there more for her? Also, I was like a second mom to some the kids in the housing complexes....many came to my house first thing in the morning and left last thing at night. I've always wondered how they did in life! It's funny...I know that one day I'll have to move again and just the thought makes me cry!!!! LOL I definitely won't be leaving this house without saying good-bye! Also, there wasn't Facebook or even email at that time. Only myself and one neighbour had a computer! Sigh...how times have changed!!! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Yes. The house ended up in foreclosure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Oh, I wish ours would ;) . :seeya: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 I guess I should have clarified-- I wasn't expecting a heartfelt goodbye or anything, just some word that they were leaving would have seemed a little more normal. When I moved from my last house I don't think I said "goodbye" to anyone but we did let everyone up and down the street know we were moving and what neighborhood we were going to. We just spoke to another neighbor and they had no idea either-- so I guess it wasn't just us they didn't inform. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Oh, I wish ours would ;) . I hear ya! It sounds awful, but I literally did a happy dance the day I saw the moving truck in front of our neighbors' house. Nice people live there now, but we're still not a hang-out-together kind of neighborhood. We're friendly when we see each other (which is usually when the guys are trying to reason with our shared water well), but I would be surprised if anybody said goodbye before moving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 We don't generally know our neighbors well enough to say goodbye. This time when we move we won't say goodbye to anyone either. We are only close with one neighbor and she will come visit at the new place fairly often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Our neighbor across the road apparently lost her house to foreclosure. We didn't know until the trucks lined up and took away all of the furniture and what looked like most of their belongings. No moving truck there, just big panel and dump trucks with the logo of a local trash-out company. I later saw her go in with a police officer and someone else for a brief period. Now it is for sale. And no, she didn't come and say goodbye. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I try! :) I've just always wondered how they are! It was the year of 9/11 and a friend/neighbour had moved in prior to the attacks. Her dh was in the army and they were always trying to get my dh to join. At that time there was never a strong fear of actually having to ever go to war. My dh did not join...he has a terrible fear of guns! Well, 9/11 happened and away her dh went. I moved away not to long afterwards. I've always wondered how he's been. Is he alright? Maybe I should have been there more for her? Also, I was like a second mom to some the kids in the housing complexes....many came to my house first thing in the morning and left last thing at night. I've always wondered how they did in life! It's funny...I know that one day I'll have to move again and just the thought makes me cry!!!! LOL I definitely won't be leaving this house without saying good-bye! Also, there wasn't Facebook or even email at that time. Only myself and one neighbour had a computer! Sigh...how times have changed!!! LOL :grouphug: Yes, that was some time, wasn't it? Here in New Jersey, we were right in between NYC and WDC. I was working just north of Philadelphia that morning, with some clients (social worker back then). We watched the towers fall. My brother-in-law was working that very same morning just west of NYC and his work crew heard the explosions and saw the smoke and couldn't figure out why so many people were streaming out of the city. His supervisor called and said, "Get outta there!" I will never forget that time, so I know what you mean. The children you cared about are better off because you cared about them. Kids remember being loved. Good for you, for loving them. I've lost track of some of my precious neighborhood kids, too, but I still pray for them. And, if it's any consolation, we are in the process of moving now. We've been looking at houses, houses, houses -- and I've been crying off and on for a few weeks. No reason, really, just the transition and the upheaval and wondering where and how life will settle. KWIM? It's change, and it's natural to feel like the ground is shifting. It is. Will we say goodbye when we leave here? No... there's no one left but the cats now. The neighbor next to us on the dead end side died having gastric bypass, and no one is living there now. On the other side, the wife died two years ago (cancer) and the husband stepped in front of a Subaru a year later (he was always drunk since she died). There is only their 18 year old son left there now, and he's doing well, going to college, taking care of himself. Across the street, the old man who had the stroke had another one, and he's dead. We've never met his widow, because she never comes out. We live on a dead end. Literally, it seems. It's so... quiet here now. The night that our neighbor jumped in front of the Subaru, I felt Death walking around outside. The girls were asleep and it all looked so peaceful inside the house, but I knew that Death was walking in the neighborhood that night. I called my husband (out of state) and said, "Someone in this neighborhood is going to die tonight. Death is here for him. Death is walking down the street." We found out two days later that exactly at that time, our neighbor had walked to a liquor store a few blocks away. At some point on the way back, he was killed when he jumped in front of that big car. The driver had no chance to stop, and the police didn't charge the driver with anything. It was ruled a suicide, although he was very drunk and might have stumbled (maybe?). No, we aren't going to be sad to leave this place, for so many reasons. It is sadder to stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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