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Posted

I just wrote this in NaturalKate's status update:

 

When I hear my dog start to heave as if he is going to throw up, I actually ASK the DOG,

 

" Are you throwing up? Are you gonna throw up?"

 

As if he'll answer me.

 

Posted

lol I could see myself doing that, too.

 

I once told a parent, after I'd found out she was putting her kids in public school the next year (but planning on bringing them back again for middle school) that I didn't think it was a great idea, because...um, how did I word it... They weren't the best students already, and it would probably be very difficult academically to come back after having fallen further behind.

 

I didn't think first, it just came right on out. She wasn't happy. I wasn't happy. I apologized many, many, many, many times... but, the damage had been done.

Posted

Oh, Lordy! There are so many of them.

 

I do talk to my animals. In my defense the cats will talk back.

 

Socially, I'm better off talking to my animals. At least the get my humor.

Posted

Oh, Lordy! There are so many of them.

 

I do talk to my animals. In my defense the cats will talk back.

 

Socially, I'm better off talking to my animals. At least the get my humor.

 

 

My cats talk back too!

Posted

lol I could see myself doing that, too.

 

I once told a parent, after I'd found out she was putting her kids in public school the next year (but planning on bringing them back again for middle school) that I didn't think it was a great idea, because...um, how did I word it... They weren't the best students already, and it would probably be very difficult academically to come back after having fallen further behind.

 

I didn't think first, it just came right on out. She wasn't happy. I wasn't happy. I apologized many, many, many, many times... but, the damage had been done.

 

Oh dear.

 

When a friend of mine was pulling her girls from catholic school, a teacher asked if she could talk to my friend. Friend thought, oh no, she's going try to talk me out of it.

 

Nope.

 

The teacher wanted to know if she could have the girls' uniforms for her own daughter.

Posted

Oh, I can beat that! My dog initiates conversations! He tells me when he wants to go for a walk (by drawing me toward where his leash is hanging up, and then looking up hopefully at it), when he wants someone to lie on the floor and cuddle him (by whining pitifully), and when he wants something to eat (by putting his paws up on our knees). If we don't respond to him, he'll get more insistent and even stamp his paws.

Posted

I can't even remember any- I say dumb stuff all the time! But if this was a "stupid things I've done lately" thread, I've got one! The other day I ate a fortune cookie and the fortune inside. I didn't know until I felt paper in my teeth. I guess I needed more fiber in my diet. =P

Posted

I also talk to my dog because sometimes it seems like he's the only one listening. Whenever I talk he looks at me, his ears perk up, and his head moves side to side with my words. Sometimes he feels like I'm ignoring him also and will sit next to me and place his paws over my hands on the keyboard. He really doesn't like to be ignored. :D

 

As far as stupid things... Not long after we moved here for dh's job we had a dinner at his boss's house and were chatting. Dh and I never thought we would stay here long term and in the conversation I mentioned how we wanted to get down to the Keys while we were living here. It was said in such a way that they knew what I meant and I felt so stupid and bad for dh. They made a joke about us being Floridians now, and we all laughed and nothing ever came of it, but I felt horrible and nervous for a while.

Posted

Apparently I have done a really good job of repressing memories b/c I can't think of any, yet I know the list is very long.

 

Oh, I'll tell you one on Dh's list from earlier this week.... I had about 2 hrs of sleep one night earlier in the week. When he came home from work I told Dh that I had toned down school a little b/c I could not think straight. He said "Lucky you". :confused: He's still hearing about it tonight. I might let it go tomorrow.

Posted

Apparently when I was under the influence of valum and Nos at the dentist's office I was swearing a ton and was flipping the assistant the finger. (NOT like me at all, and I have no memory of it.) Worst part? The assistant was my husband and the dentist was his boss.

Guest inoubliable
Posted

You lovely ladies here told me to go get the "real Sudafed" last month. The one with the stuff that the meth-heads use? Yeah. Not only did I spend the night alternating between hilarity and sheer terror at seeing giant spiders out of the corner of my eye while I felt every cell in my body vibrate... I also repeatedly asked DS12 for the "stick. The one with the rubber on it. You know? The stick? It's got rubber!"

 

It took almost 2 hours for my family to figure out that I was talking about the toilet plunger. And, for no reason at all. I have no idea why I was asking about it.

Posted

He said "Lucky you". :confused: He's still hearing about it tonight. I might let it go tomorrow.

 

 

:smilielol5: I like to get 'mileage' out of my DH's gaffes, too. Of course, it's a two way street, so he does the same to me.

 

 

 

 

Some days my best conversations are with the cat. We have two, but only one of them is a good conversationalist. She backtalks too though, when she's getting in trouble. Just like the kids. :thumbdown:

 

As for stupid things I have said - like a PP, I must be good at repressing those unpleasant memories. :tongue_smilie: I can't think of any at the moment.

Posted

My 17 yo often talks in his sleep as he's surfacing to wakefulness. I'll have amusing conversations with him just for the fun of hearing what gibberish comes out. Last week, in a menacing tone, he informed me that "we were going to have to get straight what we really mean!" I've reminded him of it nearly every day. LOL

 

On Tuesday I was explaining 3rd person plural (Latin verb) endings to my eighth graders, "You hear -nt you know it means they laudant, they vident, or they oppugnant." Then I said, "But it might not be 'they', it might be Jim and Rosy, or Joe, Harry, and D*ck." And there was silence. And I realized I needed a different name. "Or Bob." One of the eighth graders snickered, I laughed outright and apologized, and the kid that is most like me (has a sarcastic bent) came to my rescue and said to the snickerer, "Well, things just don't mean what they used to." Sweet kid!

Posted

you should hear me talk to my children, especially the babies. It gets pretty ridiculous. I have so many nicknames for them and totally talk in embarrassing baby voices to them. I'm pretty sure I enjoy it more than they do. I have conversations with my babies who can't talk. Maybe that's why they take awhile to talk, I do all the talking for both sides.

Posted

Oh my word. This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I was feely kind of down, but now I almost peed my pants.

 

I say stupid stuff when I get worked up and even worse if i am tired. My hsuband and I have been apart for a year. Some days i just burn out. I think they are catching on that I can turn into such a bumbling mess. They will ask me where something goes or is and I will just start spurting out it is in the kitchen in the shelf. What shelf? You know the one on your right or left. Seriously, I just can't keep it straight anymore.

 

My mom's office referred me for getting my wisdom teeth removed. My mom warned me He was cute. So, when I a

Came out of anesthesia I was saying really loudly...did I say anything to him? did I tell him he was cute? I was asking my husband.

Posted

Years ago when my eldest was about 6 she asked me what 'pulp' was.

So I explained in detail about making pulp for making paper, then asked why she wanted to know.

"Because sometimes you say you'll beat me to a pulp."

So we discussed what that would look like.

And I dropped the saying, which she took up for a while.

 

With my youngest it's changed to "I'll have to beat you with the knobbly stick."

She once brought one up and said, "Look Mum, I found you a knobbly stick."

 

It's a bit like the line from Princess Bride, which we both like and use, "Goodnight, sleep well, I'll probably kill you in the morning."

 

By the by, these are just sayings, ...as in stupid sayings!

Posted

I repeatedly use the word "de-thaw" when I mean "defrost". My husband always says, "So you want to freeze it again?" which earns him the glare of death.

 

 

Ha ha ha!! Love it!!!

 

We used to say up-scalater and down-scalater as a joke and then realized that M thought that was the real name - so we had to stop.

Posted

I have one.

 

We named a daughter after my husband's favorite aunt he had while growing up. She passed away when he was young. Well, one day while his other aunt was visiting, she asked why we picked daughter's name. Yup, not even thinking, I said it. Oh because Aunt soandso was his favorite aunt. SILENCE. more silence. Somehow we got through it with much groveling on my part. I was mortified!! She still jokes about it now and I want to disappear everytime she brings it up. lol

Posted

Um, triplets wouldn't perchance run in your family would they?

Triplet boys no less.

 

Nope. Both IVF, only try, pregnancies. After that, we each got pregnant the normal way. She waited 5 years, and the abdominal tumor I thought I had turned out to be a 3.5 months along fetus.

 

However, when I have my casual child support/don't touch my daughter conversations with DD's boyfriends :D , I always point out how many triplets we've got in our family. I say things like, "DD has a scarlet T on her forehead", because I know they read The Scarlet Letter in school.

Posted

Once, years ago, very tired, I presented an admission to the ICU to grand rounds. I stated that the lady was "bucking and fighting the vent", only I Spoonerized it. I was too tired to be shocked and just kept going.

Posted

Okay, I have to share a story of foot-in-mouth disease when I was a teenager. I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and his mother and grandmother were talking about jeans, Levi's in particular. His grandmother asked, "What is the difference between 505s and 501s?" And I promptly and without hesitation answered, "Four." I was horrified!!! LOL....

Posted
Ha ha ha!! Love it!!! We used to say up-scalater and down-scalater as a joke and then realized that M thought that was the real name - so we had to stop.

 

This reminds me of one (actually two) of our "family legend" stories. You know the ones where everyone still laughs maniacally whenever they're brought up. Both with my sister.

 

In Kindergarten - when they sang "Do you ears hang low?", she was mortified because she only knew it as "Do you Boobs hang low?".

 

And a LOT later - in 6th or 7th (ish) grade, she answered a question on a social studies test - and got it wrong. She came home and was sooooooo mad at all of us because she got the question wrong. The correct answer: ATM or automated teller machine, Her answer: "Titless Teller".

 

Apparently she didn't assimilate or know the difference between our family slang vs. proper wording as well as my brother and I did. We just knew, instinctively, that they were slang - she needed more direct instruction.

Posted

One of my most embarrassing moments: When meeting my future dh's dear aunt and grandmother for the first time (big deal because his parents were overseas as missionaries) somehow we started talking about middle names. I asked about dh's mom's middle name no problem and then we moved on to my future fil's middle name which is Harry (only I didn't know it then). Their last name also starts with an 'H' and has two syllables so I really thought they were joking when they said his name was Robert Harry H_____________". I laughed and laughed, repeated the name several times and laughed some more and then slowly realized that no one else was laughing. Just smiling . . .including my then boyfriend who was definitely smirking. Yes, that's his real name. I wanted to drop through the floor. I had just always assumed that Harry was a nickname for Harold and that no one would actually use the name Harry. What can I say . . . I was young. . .

 

Anyway, family legend it is now.

Posted

I have one.

 

We named a daughter after my husband's favorite aunt he had while growing up. She passed away when he was young. Well, one day while his other aunt was visiting, she asked why we picked daughter's name. Yup, not even thinking, I said it. Oh because Aunt soandso was his favorite aunt. SILENCE. more silence. Somehow we got through it with much groveling on my part. I was mortified!! She still jokes about it now and I want to disappear everytime she brings it up. lol

 

I would have DIED. That's too funny.

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