renmew Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Do you mean your youngest, as in your 3yo listed in your signature? I agree with the pp who suggested these issues are a lack of parenting/teaching/guidance by the adults in her life. I am curious as to whether you think your 3yo got the point of this when, in reality, it is the adults in her life that ALLOWED her to get away with stuff. The adults in her life failed her...and she got punished. Yes, many of the adults in her life, specifically at her daycare (which I mentioned) let her get away with too much, and they, as well as strangers, showered her with praises about her hair. She showered herself with praises about her hair. As she was set to begin spending her days with a new set of people, I decided to change the one thing I could. I cut off three inches, so it still goes down the back, but the ringlets are gone. That did the trick. So, I didn't make her ugly, I altered her appearance to be not quite so OMG to people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Yes, many of the adults in her life, specifically at her daycare (which I mentioned) let her get away with too much, and they, as well as strangers, showered her with praises about her hair. She showered herself with praises about her hair. As she was set to begin spending her days with a new set of people, I decided to change the one thing I could. I cut off three inches, so it still goes down the back, but the ringlets are gone. That did the trick. So, I didn't make her ugly, I altered her appearance to be not quite so OMG to people. I thought you said she was there for almost 4.5 years. You are clearly not telling the same story twice. Before you stir things up for response you may want to work out the details and remember them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Yes, many of the adults in her life, specifically at her daycare (which I mentioned) let her get away with too much, and they, as well as strangers, showered her with praises about her hair. She showered herself with praises about her hair. As she was set to begin spending her days with a new set of people, I decided to change the one thing I could. I cut off three inches, so it still goes down the back, but the ringlets are gone. That did the trick. So, I didn't make her ugly, I altered her appearance to be not quite so OMG to people. Changing her hair changed other people, do I understand you right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Yes, many of the adults in her life, specifically at her daycare (which I mentioned) let her get away with too much, and they, as well as strangers, showered her with praises about her hair. She showered herself with praises about her hair. As she was set to begin spending her days with a new set of people, I decided to change the one thing I could. I cut off three inches, so it still goes down the back, but the ringlets are gone. That did the trick. So, I didn't make her ugly, I altered her appearance to be not quite so OMG to people. Huh. At this point, you just seem like you're trolling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 You guys really think cutting her hair was so bad? I didn't pose it as a punishment. It was her first haircut, and as it was down to her bottom when dry and curled, so veeeeery long, I figured it was time anyways. I wanted people to see her and get to know her, not just shower her constantly with praises, deserved or not, about her hair. I want my daughter to think she has worth beyond her hair. Is that really abusive? Really? Trying to encourage other people to look past a physical trait, which they didn't seem able to do. You suggested this as a possible punishment for another child and used the term "ugly haircut." Yes, I do consider that abuse. Altering a child's appearance in a negative way as a punishment is mentally and emotionally abusive behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renmew Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Hmm very interesting renmew. So were you the "un" pretty one growing up? How did that make you feel? Your daughter was in the same care for 4.5 years, and complemented on her pretty hair often. Did you want her to know what you went through? So you tried to give her an ugly hair cut because she got the attention you wanted as a child? Maybe you should talk about it. And what if she grows up to be a make up artist, or a cosmetologist, or a plastic surgeon? A career that is centered around beauty? I hope you at least donated all of that gorgeous hair. There are people who would love to have hair on their head. Yes, I am very ugly. But I don't think I was as a young child, and do not remember being ridiculed for it until middle school. My thick hair grows like a weed, and I've grown out and donated it three times. I only cut off three inches of her hair, so it wasn't enough to donate. I think it's ridiculous to believe that I tried to make her ugly because I lacked that kind of attention myself. I tell my girls they are beautiful, but I also tell them they did a great job when they work hard and accomplish something worthwhile. My girls are actually ages 4 and 6 now, and they can both sing The 50 States That Rhyme song by themselves. I think that's pretty cool, too. I guess I've really messed up. I should have bought them both only Barbies for Christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Yes, many of the adults in her life, specifically at her daycare (which I mentioned) let her get away with too much, and they, as well as strangers, showered her with praises about her hair. She showered herself with praises about her hair. As she was set to begin spending her days with a new set of people, I decided to change the one thing I could. I cut off three inches, so it still goes down the back, but the ringlets are gone. That did the trick. So, I didn't make her ugly, I altered her appearance to be not quite so OMG to people. I am not trying to *rag* on you. I just want to throw out some food for thought. Is it really that bad for a 3yo to feel like a princess? To feel beautiful? To look in the mirror and like what she sees? Your sig line says you are a school teacher. I don't know what grade you teach, but you are a female and you have already been a young girl, a teen, a young adult, a woman. You know how VERY quickly the world around her is going to convince her that she is NOT beautiful, NOT special, NOT worth anything... I am saying this *gently*, not "in your face". What is your purpose, Mama? Define your purpose and then make sure your actions are towards that purpose. A parents' purpose should NEVER be to lower their child's self-image. There are plenty waiting to do that. Your purpose is to build her character. "Yes Sweetie, your hair is beautiful, but that is outside. What is truly beautiful is who you are inside because that will always be there, even if every hair on your head falls out." And then train her and teach her to be a person whose inner beauty causes the outer to pale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renmew Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I thought you said she was there for almost 4.5 years. You are clearly not telling the same story twice. Before you stir things up for response you may want to work out the details and remember them This is crazy. She began when she was 5 weeks old. She left when she was almost 4 1/2 years old. Where did I say differently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I guess I've really messed up. I should have bought them both only Barbies for Christmas. Clearly you are missing the point. Your girls can be beautiful AND intelligent. Both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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