Spin off: Leaving kids alone.......

[Kelli in TN]

Then perhaps, for the sake of clarity, you should only address one person per post. One post for me, one post for whomever you were addressing with your concerns about the second quote. Good, clear communication skills are always a plus, Toni.

[Mrs Mungo]

Then perhaps, for the sake of clarity, you should only address one person per post. One post for me, one post for whomever you were addressing with your concerns about the second quote. Good, clear communication skills are always a plus, Toni.

 

Although I hate to defend the post in question, most boards frown on double-posting like that. However, saying something like "and to whomever posted the following comment" would have made it more clear. I actually scrolled up trying to figure out where someone said that before realizing it was a rep point comment.

[Kelli in TN]

Although I hate to defend the post in question, most boards frown on double-posting like that. However, saying something like "and to whomever posted the following comment" would have made it more clear. I actually scrolled up trying to figure out where someone said that before realizing it was a rep point comment.

 

Yes, that would be a good way to handle addressing two posters within one post. :)

[GothicGyrl]

Except I SAID it was a rep comment in the post. Therefore, clarity on your(the genral you) part to actually READ it rather than shoot off the hip at me, would also apply.

 

If you didn't leave the rep comment, you didn't need to reply that you thought it meant you. Especially when I said it was a rep comment.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Except I SAID it was a rep comment in the post. Therefore, clarity on your(the genral you) part to actually READ it rather than shoot off the hip at me, would also apply.

 

If you didn't leave the rep comment, you didn't need to reply that you thought it meant you. Especially when I said it was a rep comment.

 

Ah, if we only had your mad reading skillz and insight and brilliance and clarity and command of the new format. Life would surely be easier.

 

My neurons are working overtime trying to follow. And my neurons should surely be in bed.

[Mrs Mungo]

Except I SAID it was a rep comment in the post. Therefore, clarity on your(the genral you) part to actually READ it rather than shoot off the hip at me, would also apply.

 

If you didn't leave the rep comment, you didn't need to reply that you thought it meant you. Especially when I said it was a rep comment.

 

Even though you did mention rep points, it wasn't immediately clear to me what you referring to. Also, the way it reads, it could be read as an implication that Kelli wrote the anonymous comment. When you're in contention with people, it's best to be clear about your meanings. Trust me, I've learned this the hard way, myself ;)

[GothicGyrl]

Now honestly Pam, are you telling me you lack basic reading skills to read the whole post before posting? Even I know that's not true for you. :)

 

It has nothing to do with mad reading skillz and everything to do with her just looking for something to say. But what do I know, I so obviously lack the ability to be sweet and nurturing and kind, I'm totally juvenile and well..... it doesn't matter, really.

 

Please go back to ignoring me. You seem happier that way..

 

(note: the general you, whomever it fits, no names mentioned--well, except for Pam, I'm not quoting anyone specifically, and in the end, it really doesn't matter--it's a message board.)

[JFSinIL]

Some of us have kids with autism or related disorders and can NOT either leave them unattended while we pee...much less send them into the men's room by themselves.

 

My son, 16 now, if I am out with him and he has to go, I won't take him into the ladies room anymore BUT I sure am standing outside the men's room talking him through stuff (he would stay in the restroom, singing to himself or laughing about some video he is rewatching in his head for a good half-hour if I wasn't yelping at him to hurry up!). When he was younger and shorter than me into the ladie's room with me he went.:cool:

[GothicGyrl]

Even though you did mention rep points, it wasn't immediately clear to me what you referring to. Also, the way it reads, it could be read as an implication that Kelli wrote the anonymous comment. When you're in contention with people, it's best to be clear about your meanings. Trust me, I've learned this the hard way, myself ;)

I guess my seperating the quotes wasn't clear enough, but ok. For the record, *I* am not in contention with anyone, I don't dislike anyone on here enough to ignore them, nor do I dislike anyone on here period. I don't hold "contention" fests with any poster (well, I did with one, but she doesn't post on here so that's neither here nor there), I just simply don't hate anyone, let alone enough to ignore them.

 

I can't do that. Take Peek and I for example--the things her and I have disagreed on would have you(Mrs. Mungo) believing that I really did want to sink my fangs in her neck and she her claws in mine. :) But honestly, her and I really are pretty decent friends (at least online anyway)...

[Mrs Mungo]

Now honestly Pam, are you telling me you lack basic reading skills to read the whole post before posting? Even I know that's not true for you. :)

 

It has nothing to do with mad reading skillz and everything to do with her just looking for something to say. But what do I know, I so obviously lack the ability to be sweet and nurturing and kind, I'm totally juvenile and well..... it doesn't matter, really.

 

Please go back to ignoring me. You seem happier that way..

 

(note: the general you, whomever it fits, no names mentioned--well, except for Pam, I'm not quoting anyone specifically, and in the end, it really doesn't matter--it's a message board.)

 

Toni, I am blunt and honest to a fault both on the internet and in real life. It works better in real life because the people who know me know I'm honest to a fault and whatever I say, I say out of love and caring for them. So, understand that I'm not faulting you for not going out of your way to be kind or nurturing. I do think your argument was lacking in this case (in general, I agree with you as often as I disagree) and now you seem to be on the defensive because of it. Just my perception and you're right, it doesn't need to mean anything to you.

 

ed to respond to this:

I can't do that. Take Peek and I for example--the things her and I have disagreed on would have you(Mrs. Mungo) believing that I really did want to sink my fangs in her neck and she her claws in mine. :) But honestly, her and I really are pretty decent friends (at least online anyway)...

No, no, no...not what I'm saying at all. I disagree with people, quite passionately at times and have no problem being friendly with those people. My point is not that you were "meen" (to use LOLcatz speak), it's that I've learned not to be nice (definitely not! HA!) but that I've learned to make my arguments *clear*. that's all :)

[GothicGyrl]

Some of us have kids with autism or related disorders and can NOT either leave them unattended while we pee...much less send them into the men's room by themselves.

 

My son, 16 now, if I am out with him and he has to go, I won't take him into the ladies room anymore BUT I sure am standing outside the men's room talking him through stuff (he would stay in the restroom, singing to himself or laughing about some video he is rewatching in his head for a good half-hour if I wasn't yelping at him to hurry up!). When he was younger and shorter than me into the ladie's room with me he went.:cool:

Actually, JFS, I did cover that. I'm not talking about kids who truly do need to be assisted--that cannot be helped.

 

I've worked with the handicapped enough to know that sometimes you just gotta let them do it the way they know how and if that means sending a 16 yr old boy in to the ladies room, well, you just gotta do it.

 

And as a slight funny, there is nothing wrong with my own soon to be 16 yr old and I had to, for a very long time, do exactly as you do for yours--she would start singing, talking to the person in the next stall, whatever--just get distracted. And as far as I know, there's nothing wrong with her (wrong as in the list of mental illnesses that could occur, not that they are wrong)...

[j.griff]

Which is why I make perfectly wonderful sense (where's the tongue smilies?)!! I mean, c'mon, I AM genius and going to take over the world some day. ;)

 

Aside----- you are correct, if I don't know he's there, then he likely wasn't, or was and I didn't know it... man, my head hurts... But that's my whole point, if I notice he's there, I'm saying something, then we will end up in the parking lot and someone's gonna get road rash.. and well, it wouldn't be pretty.(darn that 4 smiley rule!)

 

tongue smilies- : plus p = :p

So, as long as the adult keeps the child in line, a child of the opposite sex in the public restroom isn't a problem, right? (and let's face it, it IS just a matter of good/poor parenting). A responsible mom with her son in a public restroom will bring son into stall with her and have him turn away while she pees, or whatever- instead of leaving said son out in the main area where he can cause trouble or make others uncomfortable- or just plain get in the way cause ladies restrooms are crowded.

And I believe men have WAY more reason to be uncomfortable with girls in the mens room than women with boys in the womens room. (for obvious reasons)

[GothicGyrl]

tongue smilies- : plus p = :p

So, as long as the adult keeps the child in line, a child of the opposite sex in the public restroom isn't a problem, right? (and let's face it, it IS just a matter of good/poor parenting). A responsible mom with her son in a public restroom will bring son into stall with her and have him turn away while she pees, or whatever- instead of leaving said son out in the main area where he can cause trouble or make others uncomfortable- or just plain get in the way cause ladies restrooms are crowded.

And I believe men have WAY more reason to be uncomfortable with girls in the mens room than women with boys in the womens room. (for obvious reasons)

Right..exactically.

 

But that brings up another point that you make: Why is it ok for women to bring 10 yr old boys in to a ladies restroom without blinking, but men who bring their 5 yr old daughters into the men's restroom get CPS called on them?

 

I mean, you are correct--men really do have more to worry about (no thanks to society on that one)..but it isn't fair that a father--a perfectly decent and harmless daddy, gets in so much trouble for bringing his 5 yr old girl into a men's room, but a lady can bring a pre-pubescent boy in to the ladies room and don't you dare call her on it?

[Mom2boys]

but I think Joanne may have been quoting me, and I wanted to defend myself. I meant I will think twice about leaving my 11 year old home alone, not that parents should never leave any 11 year old home alone. I would expect each parent to make that decision based on their knowledge of their child and their unique circumstances.

 

In my situation, we have problem neighbors living on both sides of us. On one side we have an alcoholic mom and her teenage pot-head son. On the other side we have a man who is either paranoid, or an ex-con, or both. He refused to step into my house one day because "then his fingerprints would be in my home, and if anything were to happen, the police would try and pin it on him." Plus, we have three registered sex offenders living in our neighborhood. So, knowing this, and that my son would likely open the door to someone he recognized, I realized it is not in his best interest to be left home alone at this age.

 

So, I really am not coddling my child, or raising him to be fearful of some unknown boogeyman. I completely agree that the real threats to our children are often known to us, and in my case, they happen to live in my neighborhood (which really is a very nice subdivision, with just a few bad apples, who happen to live next to me).

[j.griff]

That totally makes sense. Also, my kids are not allowed to play outside without supervision- even if I trusted all of my neighbors (we are in military housing, and I've just met too darn many WHACKO nutters to trust my neighbors, we've had gang activity in the neighborhood, etc) the housing office here sends out newsletters that contain warnings about "truant" students- the municipal code here states that school age children enrolled in an "alternative education program" are not allowed to be out in public without their parent or teacher during normal school hours.

I'm sure this is due to them having problems with people letting their dc run wild in the streets, and they have broken lights at the playgrounds, in the alleys, etc. (and I don't want my kids running the streets with THOSE kids- the ones that are unsupervised and allowed to go and do whatever they please, and their parents get aggressive if you tell a child to stop being destructive.

[Jill- OK]

This sounds like us, too.