What would you think if a caregiver posted your kids' pics on fb?

[SKL]

My kids have a nanny who cares for them on Saturday mornings (used to be full-time years ago). I was putzing on facebook and saw her name come up in one of those "do you know these potential friends" columns. Out of curiosity I clicked on it, and saw a photo of my kids (from this morning) looking back at me. Curious, I scrolled through her photos and saw several others of my kids. There were several people's comments on some of the photos.

 

I'm not this person's facebook friend, so that means these photos are "public."

 

I'm pretty sure I was never asked if it was OK for her to post my kids' photos on facebook. This also makes me wonder what she has on there, about my kids (or me), that only friends can see.

 

Now, there's nothing questionable about the photos, and their names aren't included. Just sort of celebrating happy times with happy kids.

 

I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, what harm could there be? On the other hand, shouldn't a person at least ask before posting a photo of the kids they're being paid to care for on the internet?

[Remudamom]

Probably no harm but she should have asked. Shoot, I asked permission to post my grandchild's pics.

[Juliegmom]

I'm careful about posting pics for this reason. I respect that others may not want their child's photo broadcasted so I ask or don't post especially if it's not a family member or close friend.

[SunnyDays]

Yes, she should have asked. I think some people just have no problem with being an open book, so she probably doesn't think she's doing anything wrong. But I would have a problem with it as well, were I in your shoes.

 

I think it's entirely reasonable to say "I happened across your FB page through a mutual friend, and I noticed pics of the kids. You know, I'm really not comfortable with their pictures being accessible to the public, or even to lots of people I don't know. Would you mind taking them down? Thanks."

[Melissa in Australia]

I would be really upset.

I was pretty upset when someone took a photo of my children sailing and posted it on Google Earth.

[gardenmom5]

I would ask that she remove them. they are public and they are your children. doesn't matter if the pictures are innocent.

[morningcoffee]

I actually think it is sweet that she enjoys your children so much that she wants to "share" them and her relationship with them with her friends.

 

But she should have asked and I think you should raise it with her. You will also be helping her learn that what she has done is unprofessional and inappropriate so she won't make this mistake with other people's children.

 

FWIW, I'm not all that comfortable with photos of my kids on the internet so I wouldn't know what I would have said if I had been asked.

[bzymom]

I very much dislke pictures of my kids posted online, so I would be very unhappy to find that. I truly find it amazing that people will post pics of other people, or their chldren, without explicit permission. To me, it is very much a violation of my privacy.

[JFSinIL]

I'd calmly ask her to take them down, and remind her that you do not want your kid's photos on the internets without your consent. She simply wasn't thinking.

[BrookValley.]

Whoops, double post.

[BrookValley.]

While I think it's nice that she enjoys your kids enough to post fun pictures of them, it would bother me. But I am very uncomfortable with that kind of thing. I don't like that my MIL posts pictures on FB of my kid all the time (and she never asked, either). I feel that photos are private and, while I enjoy taking and sharing photos, I think that photos should be respected as private. Basically, just ask!

 

I went through a whole debacle (and am likely to go through another soon) with my in-laws and excessive, in your face photo taking and sharing when my son was born. I mean way, way past the usual excited grandma and grandpa stuff. So I may be a bit more sensitive than others. Also, like I said, I think it's an issue of personal space and respect, so at least ask.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

If she didn't identify them by name, then no issue.

[Impish]

It would bother me, and I'd ask they were removed.

[regentrude]

It would not bother me if, as you say, the pictures are not inappropriate and there is no identifying information.

[bbmom]

I don't think younger people feel the same way about pictures online, so I don't think it should be a big issue if you are otherwise happy with her care. Just nicely tell her that you saw the pictures on facebook and tell her that you love that she has such a good time with your kids but you don't want pictures of them posted online and ask her to remove them and not post any more.

[lisamarie]

If she was a friend, I would be less bothered since I'd have a good idea of who her friends were that were seeing the picture. But not a nanny I'm not FB friends with. I never post pictures on FB or my blog of other people without their permission for this very reason. It's an invasion of privacy.

[Mergath]

Wouldn't bother me.

[Catwoman]

I was in a similar situation once. I told my friend that I was uncomfortable with photos of my ds being posted online, and she immediately removed them. There was no drama - she just hadn't realized that it might bother me.

 

So... I wouldn't make a federal case out of it, but I would definitely politely ask that the photos be removed.

[SKL]

After thinking a little more, I must admit that if I saw pics of my kids on their school's website, I'd be happy about that. Since she doesn't have their names on there (at least on the public setting), and the photos are in good taste, I will let it go. (But note to self: check her fb site periodically.)

 

It seemed weird to me because I hardly post any photos of my own kids, even though my facebook page doesn't bear my actual name (or theirs) anywhere. I don't want people having too much info about me & mine. But their photos on a nanny's site is anonymous enough I guess.