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Why do people prefer to text, rather than talk?


bnbacademy
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I feel like the age of the spoken conversation is passing... Everyone texts, well, everyone besides myself, that is. Just call me... better yet, let's have coffee!

 

I look around and people are staring at screens, rather than acknowledging each other as passing strangers.

 

I think we are losing something... not sure what, exactly, but I have this nebulous sense of loss which grows as society prefers to write conversation rather than talk. Facebook is maddening to me. I much more prefer to carve out sit down, face-to-face talking time with friends, but everyone is so busy! This is a priority to me, but not so much to others. When did this happen?

 

And here I am in front of a monitor... :)

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I prefer texting over calling, because I can receive and respond to texts in situations where it would be disruptive to talk or when I am unable to engage in conversation.

I don't get having extended conversations per text, way too cumbersome for me - but to exchange information, yes, texting is great. I also much prefer email over phone calls, too, because that allows me to check when it is convenient, and I have a record of the exchange.

 

Sure, talking is great fun for casual conversation, and I find that I still have plenty of that. But to exchange information, text/email/skype is more convenient.

ETA: I'd send you a facebook message or an email to arrange a meeting for coffee ;-)

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I've never liked taking on the phone, so I text when it is efficient to do so. However, it's not social for me, so I'll text you to arrange coffee rather than in lieu of it. :D

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I prefer to talk to people face to face but not on the phone. Phone conversations interrupt what I'm doing, but face to face conversations ARE what I'm doing, if that makes sense. In cases where people want to contact me for a piece of information, just to say hi, etc, I prefer text. I think of it as a faster form of email; I can contact back when I have a moment, dry my hands, finish what I'm doing, etc.

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I thought it was stupid until I got texting free on my phone. I love it now. I have hearing issues from multiple ear surgeries and it is REALLY hard for me to keep track of a conversation or hear on a phone. Plus it is so much easier to ask/answer a quick question or complain to my friend or dh with texting. I can do it quickly and check my phone when I have time instead of setting aside 30-90 minutes for a phone call (they always take so long!). I like talking in person, but it's just not possible all of the time. Plus I drive in and out of service range a lot, so texting tends to go through whereas phone calls do not, usually, when driving.

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From the perspective of one who does not text... those who do so, are texting in addition to talking, not instead of ?

Yes. I've just texted, am waiting for my friend's machine to pick.....

 

Up.

 

And I'm answering this post.

 

Off to send an email.

 

Goodness, I love electronics!

 

ETA: the reason for all these messages is because a group of us are going out Friday evening.

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Texting is for when I don't want to interrupt someone...they can answer at their leisure. I never did like to talk on the phone Because it interrupts what I'M doing iykwim.... I would be glad to sit down and have coffee with someone, though....

Yes. I hate interrupting other people's lives, and I don't really like mine interrupted either (I know that sounds awful.) With texts and emails you can reply whenever you want to.

Also, I am an introvert and sometimes just don't feel like talking, except to a very small number of people. And I often don't think before I talk. Texting and emailing make me think about what I'm saying before I send it.

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If it wasn't for text, I would never actually meet up and talk to anyone IRL. I hate the phone, despise it, and always have. I fought cell phones for a long time, because that was just one more phone I had to answer. In college, I had a pager but no phone, that way I could only call people back at my leisure and they couldn't really call me. I'm an extrovert, but I find phone conversations time consuming and awkward. I never know how to keep a conversation short, so I get drawn into a long, uncomfortable convo when all I wanted to know was if the person was free on Thursday. By the time the phone convo is over, what's the point of even meeting up? We already talked about everything on the darn phone! Bleurgh. Who needs that?

 

Now texting, email and Facebook are wonderful! I can send a message to a friend to see if they want to meet up for coffee or go to a concert, without having to call them.

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I adore texting. I despise the phone. I really am legitimately busy, and texting keeps things factual, abbreviated, and at our mutual convenience.

 

I like meeting for coffee with friends. It's not like I hate talking at all. But texting is so convenient and to the point when I just need to make a date, exchange info, or ask a question.

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Yup, I agree with the other posters. I had breakfast with a friend yesterday, lunch with another friend, and today lunch with my sister. All were arranged via texting FB messaging. My sister was at work when I thought of the idea to have lunch, and although she cannot talk on her phone, she can give a quick text. So, that makes it more convenient for her, too.

 

I love technology! (except when it doesn't work)

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I dislike talking on the phone plus it has the added bonus of turning my kids into needy, screeching howler monkeys. I'm guessing this may change as they get older?

 

The friends I talk to most don't live in the same town as me (one is just an hour or so away, another is a couple states away and a third is in a different country for the time being). Texting allows us to keep in touch all on a group message and keep up with each others lives. Plus, it has really saved my sanity when I'm feeling isolated, frustrated and tempted to eat my young. I love getting together in person but unfortunately that doesn't happen as often as we would like.

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I feel like the age of the spoken conversation is passing... Everyone texts, well, everyone besides myself, that is. Just call me... better yet, let's have coffee!

 

I look around and people are staring at screens, rather than acknowledging each other as passing strangers.

 

I think we are losing something... not sure what, exactly, but I have this nebulous sense of loss which grows as society prefers to write conversation rather than talk. Facebook is maddening to me. I much more prefer to carve out sit down, face-to-face talking time with friends, but everyone is so busy! This is a priority to me, but not so much to others. When did this happen?

 

And here I am in front of a monitor... :)

Because we have much to do and texting let's us do it at our own pace in between answering questions and running errands, etc.

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I am that one who takes a looong time to say something, succinct is not in my vocabulary. I can believe that texting may not be the best thing for me.

 

But it does sound very helpful to many, and I am very happy that the demise of conversation is just my imagination. Now... I need to call a friend about our get-together on Friday, (note to self... keep it short!)

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I would much rather talk to people in person, than on the phone. So I'm another one that will send a text or an email to arrange in-person get-togethers. It's quick, efficient, and people can respond when it's convenient for them.

 

To illustrate, just in the last couple days I used technology to schedule:

- a hike with a homeschool friend and her son for this afternoon via Facebook instant message

- dinner for tomorrow night with two friends - as I was Facebook instant messaging with one, I was keeping the other in the loop via text

- breakfast for Friday with my two best friends via text

 

It's a beautiful thing. :D

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-Editing what I'm thinking and/or change what I want to say. This has prevented many arguments when I have time to consider and cool off during a conversation. However the lack of inflection can contribute to other issues so YMMV.

-Talking to multiple people at once. In the time it takes to make one phone call I can text so many people and don't have to answer each one at that moment if I get interrupted or busy.

-Less time, it's cheaper for me to have the lowest minute plan for my phone and only use it for the calls I absolutely have to make and to text everyone else since I have unlimited texting and almost everyone I know does also.

-Times and places where talking out loud is not possible but I want to talk to someone. My son can hear me whisper through the walls after his bedtime and will keep getting up but the best time to talk to my SO is after 8pm.

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From the perspective of one who does not text... those who do so, are texting in addition to talking, not instead of ?

 

Yep, I still have tea, and face-to-face conversations. Texting is extra, FYI, businessy stuff . . ."I'm at the store. Need anything." is better than being that person on the phone in Food Lion. I don't worry about interrupting folks when they're busy or don't feel like talking to ask a question that requires a short answer. Also, I can text entire groups of people at once. SO much better than a phone tree.

 

I use Facebook as extra social time. I can chat with whoever is chatty that day and nobody is inconvenienced. FB threads with my mother DO NOT replace regular phone calls.

 

It is starting to become a peeve that people get judged for staring at a screen instead of interacting with people around them. That screen holds so much that you don't know what they're doing. In the grocery store, they might be reading their list, or taking requests from their family, or calculating the cost of everything. In the waiting room, they could be reading their book. In the restaurant they could be texting the friend who is late or lost. I don't get why people get so perturbed about what other folks are reading and writing.

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I prefer texting because I spent my teenage years listening to music so loud that my bones vibrated. Standing near the tower of speakers at an Aerosmith concert really DID seem like a good idea at the time. I am paying the price now. If there is any background noise, I simply can not understand/hear what is being said. The ONLY way I'm talking on a phone is if it's being channeled through the speakers of my van.

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From the perspective of one who does not text... those who do so, are texting in addition to talking, not instead of ?

 

In my case, yes. I much prefer actual conversation, but when I just need to pass quick information, or do not have time to actually talk, or know the person on the other end is busy, I send a quick text.

 

For instance, today was park day for us. However, DS is sick so we weren't going to be able to go. Rather than interrupt the other mom who plans park day, while she was busy homeschooling her kids and I was busy snuggling with/caring for DS, I just sent her a text to let her know we wouldn't be there. I was very much looking forward to getting back in the "park day groove", specifically because that is where we meet up and have actual face to face conversations.

 

This is the same Mom who texted me last week to see if I'd like to try out a Zumba class with her this past Monday morning. I texted back that I'd love to. We met up, did Zumba, then went to the bakery next door for a cup of tea and conversation.

 

Texting, for me, is an additional tool but does not replace real conversation. I talk on the phone a lot too, and spend time in the same room as other people to visit/converse whenever possible.

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Maybe I'm going to be one of very few dissenters here, but I really hate texting.

 

It used to be nice to chat with the people in line at the market or at a coffee shop, but now, most of the people are staring at their phones the entire time. I can't help but wonder how some of them ever meet new people... or how they avoid being mugged in parking lots, because they never seem to look up from their stupid phones.

 

I feel so sorry for cashiers, waitresses, and other service people, because many customers won't even have the good manners to stop texting and place their orders or pay for their items. It's just plain rude. They actually seem annoyed that the cashier or waitress had the nerve to interrupt their texting. :glare:

 

My phone has all the bells and whistles, too, but I would much prefer to talk to real people, and to meet new people when I'm out and about, than to spend all of my time texting or emailing.

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I love texting. I'm actually texting back and forth with my mom right now. Ha! Someone was teasing me once "Oh, you are all hip, texting!" and I had to confess I was texting my 70 yo mom!

 

Texting is addition to TALKING, which I am also very good at. I consider texting and "add-on" not a replacement.

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It used to be nice to chat with the people in line at the market or at a coffee shop, but now, most of the people are staring at their phones the entire time. I can't help but wonder how some of them ever meet new people

 

 

One of the advantages of having a smartphone to me is that I can avoid random people bugging me when I'm in line. Seriously, I hate, hate, *HATE* it when I'm just minding my own business and some chatty Cathy feels the need to engage me in small talk. It's stressful enough having to engage in small talk with strangers at social functions but when I'm running errands it's the LAST thing I want to have to worry about.

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One of the advantages of having a smartphone to me is that I can avoid random people bugging me when I'm in line. Seriously, I hate, hate, *HATE* it when I'm just minding my own business and some chatty Cathy feels the need to engage me in small talk. It's stressful enough having to engage in small talk with strangers at social functions but when I'm running errands it's the LAST thing I want to have to worry about.

 

In TOTAL agreement.

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I haven't read any of the replies, but I have to say that my mom has been in ICU for the past month and texting has been wonderful. It's allowed all of us to keep up to date w/o using up our talk minutes, and we can text each other w/o worrying if someone's in a meeting or what else we might be interrupting. Group texting can update a lot of people at once. Plus it maintains a written record of vital signs, etc., that we can refer back to.

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Texting is quick and to the point. No need to make small talk. Also, whoever I am trying to get in touch with can answer at their convenience and don't have to pick up just because the phone is ringing.

 

I still like to speak to people in person. I just am not that big on spending a lot of time on the phone.

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I prefer to talk to people face to face but not on the phone. Phone conversations interrupt what I'm doing, but face to face conversations ARE what I'm doing, if that makes sense. In cases where people want to contact me for a piece of information, just to say hi, etc, I prefer text. I think of it as a faster form of email; I can contact back when I have a moment, dry my hands, finish what I'm doing, etc.

 

This is me as well.

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I feel so sorry for cashiers, waitresses, and other service people, because many customers won't even have the good manners to stop texting and place their orders or pay for their items. It's just plain rude. They actually seem annoyed that the cashier or waitress had the nerve to interrupt their texting. :glare:

 

 

 

I do agree with this, and it's not just texting. I have seen people go through the entire "check out" process while carrying on a conversation on their cell phones. So incredibly rude to the cashier. I expect I have to interact with a cashier when I go the grocery store.

 

On the other hand, I generally don't want to chat with people in the line with me, and don't really look at that as an opportunity to meet new people. In a largish town, you aren't really making new friends when you engage in idle chatter with strangers - you are just engaging in idle chatter with strangers, which does not appeal. But a minimum of talk with the cashier is part of living in a civilized society.

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texting allows me to talk with people during work hours when we otherwise couldn't have a conversation. usually they are just quick questions or information from them to me or vice versa. i still talk on the phone too of course. i also use texting to share pictures and videos with grandparents.

 

texting for *me* is a simple way to share quick information or answers (can you get milk on the way home? ... see you at 6:30 then.... thanks again for having daniel over last night! he had a blast!...etc.)

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Oh my gosh, I love texting! It saves a lot of time, especially when dealing with loquacious teenagers. Our conversations are short and to the point. The only thing I don't like is that they all hate text talk, and I like to abbreviate because it will otherwise take me forever to send a short message. I get lots of replies that are mostly lectures on grammar that I ignore. I mean, I taught my kids grammar ... no need to diss The Teacher.

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But yeah I do find it weird to go somewhere and be in a room filled with people just staring at their phones.

 

It is weird! We were at a small party last week that was attended by only close family friends. I walked into the kitchen and everyone sitting at the table was silently staring at their phones. I said, "What is this, the prayer group?", and went back to the living room where at least people were interacting with one another.

 

The funny thing is that the "prayer group" members ranged in age from 50 to 80. I think the over-60s finally ran out of steam after spending an hour poking their noses in the 50s couple's business. The young couple and the two teens I bought, along with some middle-aged folks like me, were actually talking to one another in the living room, not a cell phone or iPod in sight.

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From the perspective of one who does not text... those who do so, are texting in addition to talking, not instead of ?

 

I'd say so. I don't text very many people. Mostly my husband, because it's easier to send a text to ask something many times than to call, wait for ringing, hope it doesn't go to voicemail (in which case I'd leave a message I could have just texted in the first place), etc. I will call him when I need an immediate answer on something, like if I'm at the store and I need to know if we are out of something at home. But in most cases a text will suffice, and if one of us is overwhelmed with kids we are not having to stop whatever we're doing to answer the phone. But of course I talk to my husband daily. It's just another form of communication for us.

 

OTOH, I occasionally text my mom (in another state) with pictures of the kids and it came in handy to send her info about what the kids wanted for Christmas so she could easily refer to it when she was out shopping. But I would never carry on a full conversation with her via text, we talk on the phone for that.

 

In response to the original post, when I am out alone at a coffee shop or whatever, I happily stare at my phone to catch up on FB, Twitter, etc. in a quiet, uninterrupted way. If I didn't have my phone, I would have a book. I would avoid eye contact with everyone around me, because I'm not looking to interact with others in that situation. That's not a function of modern technology, but rather, my personality.

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I resisted texting for a long time. Once my ds got his first phone and started texting me I realized resistance was futile and embraced it. After years of working in an office I detest speaking on the phone. A text is quick and easy. Especially if I am in a location where it would be rude or impossible to have a phone conversation-such as my children's very loud swim meet and I need to let dh know where our seats are located. How much easier my life would be if my mom would text.

 

As for the kids-easier to control how you look to your peers.

Service People-That is a whole different ball of wax. I have taught my kids that there is a time and a place for texting. I wish I could say the same for some other people.

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It is weird! We were at a small party last week that was attended by only close family friends. I walked into the kitchen and everyone sitting at the table was silently staring at their phones. I said, "What is this, the prayer group?", and went back to the living room where at least people were interacting with one another.

 

The funny thing is that the "prayer group" members ranged in age from 50 to 80. I think the over-60s finally ran out of steam after spending an hour poking their noses in the 50s couple's business. The young couple and the two teens I bought, along with some middle-aged folks like me, were actually talking to one another in the living room, not a cell phone or iPod in sight.

 

 

This is what intrigues me... people around my age, OLD, are busy texting, etc. while in the company of others, or even at church, almost as if we MUST be available 24/7.

 

Manners really matter to me, because they imply respect for you as a person. That basic respect is shown by paying attention to you, listening, during a conversation, interacting with you, or as just an acknowledgement of your presence as we pass, such as a quick smile, nod, eye contact... just to indicate that I saw you... no more, no less. This is what I expect as basic civilized behavior.

 

I may be way off here... I grew up in a small town, I'm not used to the crowd/mass mentality, everyone doin' their own thing, oblivious to those around them.

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