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Advice for daughter who kind of slipped through the cracks...


J-rap
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I had no idea how to title this!

 

I am at a loss how to guide my youngest, who is now a senior in high school. She is very sweet, self-assured, quiet, very happy... She is an average student, very intuitive, a good writer (although her spelling isn't great), a very poor test-taker (SAT scores are awful). She takes a couple classes (AP English and Spanish 4) at the public school and is actually getting an A+ in both, but I still say she is only an average student in general, especially in math. (And she works very slowly.)

 

For two years, she has been almost completely on her own with her homeschool studies (I only assign and grade). So even though she is doing math, history, sciences, etc. at home, I am not very involved at all due to the major upheaval in our family. (See signature line.) I support her emotionally and spiritually, but academics have taken second seat in our household!

 

She is taking a gap year after high school to work and go abroad, but would like to go to college after that. Because of my husband's major disabilities, I cannot take her on college visits, I may not even be able to take her to college when she is accepted and goes! Her older siblings are all taking her under their wings and will be there for her, will do everything they can to help her out. Just for the record, they are all very assertive, strong personalities, whereas she is quiet, non-pushy, and a listener rather than a talker. In a crowd, you would easily not even notice her (because she is so quiet). BUT, she is very self-confident and content, and not shy. (She recently flew to England and back on her own to visit her sister, and loved the adventure.)

 

Ultimately, she is relying on my advice to guide her in the college process. We have no community colleges in our town, and we may be moving to a warm weather climate once she graduates this spring anyway, which would be far easier on my husband's recovery than our snowy, icy sidewalks.

 

I'd love to send her to a small Christian college that will be like a family to her... But I also think that with her poor test scores, she will not get the merit aid that would be necessary. Her greatest interests are writing and traveling. She is a pretty good artist, although she isn't interested in that as a job. She seems to do well enough in Spanish, although I don't know if I've ever heard her speak it. She likes to sing, and does harmony at my singer daughter's shows.

 

I am encouraging her to apply to colleges this spring, and then defer a year so she won't have to think about it when abroad next year.

 

I don't have specific questions. Just don't even know where to begin, nor the best way to help her. She doesn't know where to begin either. I have often gotten such good suggestions and creative advice here, so thought I'd ask. :)

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Is it possible that you might be moving somewhere warmer that has community colleges? I think the gap year is a great idea and if you have moved and established residency in another state while she is traveling, that may make a smaller school more affordable for her.

 

I don't see it as a bad thing for a young person to delay heading off to college when they don't know what they are interested in studying. Maybe she will want to work for a few years, get some experience, and save some money until she finds something that captures her interest.

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Is it possible that you might be moving somewhere warmer that has community colleges? I think the gap year is a great idea and if you have moved and established residency in another state while she is traveling, that may make a smaller school more affordable for her.

 

 

 

Yes, it is possible, and that's a good thought. I'd love to have her closer to home for those first couple of years (after a gap year) too; living at home and going to a community college might be a really good option for her. A lot can happen in our living situation this next year... Maybe I just shouldn't worry too much about having her apply to colleges now, and wait and see where we'll all be in a year or two...

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Just out of curiosity, is she planning to go to Capernwray? Didn't a couple of your other students study there? FYI, my senior is applying to Capernwray England for the 2013-2014 year for a gap year.

 

 

Yes, she is! :) She hopes to go to the one in Sweden. She just returned from visiting our daughter who is at the Capernwray in England! Our daughter who is there now absolutely loves it. It has by far exceeded her expectations; such a wonderful place! That's great that your son will be there next year. It's funny that our kids seem to go there alternating years... :)

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Yes, she is! :) She hopes to go to the one in Sweden. She just returned from visiting our daughter who is at the Capernwray in England! Our daughter who is there now absolutely loves it. It has by far exceeded her expectations; such a wonderful place! That's great that your son will be there next year. It's funny that our kids seem to go there alternating years... :)

 

Isaac was able to go to a 2011 Capernwray Reunion in Portland last June. He really enjoyed seeing the other students. But he said that he wished he had attended the full year because there were some he really didn't get to know as well as he would have liked. We are considering attending the Christmas program next year because Luke may be there and I don't think we can afford to bring him home for Christmas and then back again. My youngest thinks he would prefer to go to the Costa Rica program, but I think it's just because he wants to be different and he enjoyed the time we spent on the beach there :) I've got Luke's application ready to mail tomorrow :)

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Is it possible that you might be moving somewhere warmer that has community colleges? I think the gap year is a great idea and if you have moved and established residency in another state while she is traveling, that may make a smaller school more affordable for her.

 

I don't see it as a bad thing for a young person to delay heading off to college when they don't know what they are interested in studying. Maybe she will want to work for a few years, get some experience, and save some money until she finds something that captures her interest.

 

I'm late catching up on this thread, but I agree with AKMom. I'd let her have fun with her year, then possibly look at community colleges near where you may be. If she's not sure (now) what she wants to do, there's no reason to be applying now. Her experience in her gap year could provide additional substance to her applications anyway (via the experience itself or perhaps essays, etc).

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