If you dress up for church....

[kbpaulie]

We are a casual family. I love casual. In the past years we've mostly gone to a casual-dress mega church. We curently attend a church where you have jeans and suits. We've been visiting a church where we have a lot of connections - everyone dresses up. Why is this important? I feel stressed trying to pick out something to wear. I feel like a fake b/c I'm trying to fit in w/ everyone else rather than be who I really am and I want God and the folks there to accept me for who I am.

 

So, tell me why it's important for you to dress up for church. What would you do if someone in jeans walked into your dressed up church?

[justamouse]

We are a casual family. I love casual. In the past years we've mostly gone to a casual-dress mega church. We curently attend a church where you have jeans and suits. We've been visiting a church where we have a lot of connections - everyone dresses up. Why is this important? I feel stressed trying to pick out something to wear. I feel like a fake b/c I'm trying to fit in w/ everyone else rather than be who I really am and I want God and the folks there to accept me for who I am.

 

So, tell me why it's important for you to dress up for church. What would you do if someone in jeans walked into your dressed up church?

 

 

 

We dress up for church as much as we are able because we honor the person we go to church for. I think it was Peter Kreeft who actually spoke of dressing up as a sign of humility, that you are dressing for a person who is higher than yourself. Like you would not go see the Queen Mum in jeans. So, you are humbling yourself to honor the person you dress up for.

 

People go to my church in jeans all the time. It's called the 6 pm Sunday mass. :D It's a very relaxed crowd, totally different feel than the Sunday morning services.

 

Pick five Sunday outfits, and have them ready. That takes the stress totally out of it.

[Starr]

Our church covers the whole fashion range. But I remember my gm asking, "why wouldn't you want to put on your best for God?" Our older parishioners dress up more than the rest of us. I think it's all in the tradition. But you might want to plan out 2 or 3 church outfits that make you feel comfortable and rotate them. While I miss the city I don't really miss the dressing for church.

[Cindy in FL.]

I wouldn't view it as trying to fit in, but as respecting their custom regarding dress. That being said, I dress down compared to most in my church and I'm ok with that.

[*********]

First off, you're gonna get a lot of different viewpoints on this I imagine.

 

My two cents? I don't dress differently when we meet for fellowship (we home church) than I do any other time I leave the house. I always dress modestly, which is all that's important to me. On sunday, I wore a jean skirt and a sweater that I'd wear any other day of the week. DH and the boys wore jeans and hoodies. Another brother wore slacks and a polo. Another brother wore jeans and a tshirt. You get the idea. The other ladies wear the same things they'd wear any other day as well.

 

I see no scriptural reason for dressing 'nicer' for fellowship than for other things. I do NOT judge anyone based on how 'nice' their clothes are for fellowship. Who cares?! Jesus certainly doesn't love you more in a three piece suit than jeans and a tee.

[HappyCrazyMama]

I can't really explain why I dress up but I have since I became a Christian at 30 and I always (well 99% of the time) wear a dress or skirt. I just don't feel right going casual but it doesn't bother me one bit that others do. All of the churches I've attended have had a mix with many in jeans and some dressed up. So I certainly don't think you have to, be yourself or some small compromise.:)

[bolt.]

I dress up because I like to be pretty, and to see my kids pretty, and it's just one of those places where it's not terribly unexpected to be a bit fancy. However, it's certianly not "expected" either. Nobody much cares what others wear at our Church... Unless its terribly revealing or really unkempt or something... And neither of those would really make too many waves either.

[Crimson Wife]

It's a respect thing. If I would dress up to visit the White House or Buckingham Palace, why on Earth wouldn't I dress up to visit the house of the King of Kings?

[Joker]

Our new church ranges from suits to jeans. Older dd wears jeans because she doesn't even own a dress. She is not comfortable dressing up like some churches want and I don't think she should be forced. Dh wears slacks and a nice shirt. Younger dd and I wear dresses or skirts because we like to dress up for church. I don't really care how people dress for church as I think the important thing is that they are there.

[milovany]

We dress up because Jesus is a King and I wouldn't show up for a visit with the Queen of Spain or the President of the United States in jeans and a t-shirt or other everyday wear. I judge none who do, but I can't do it. I dress modestly all the time (for me, that's skirts/dresses and un-clingy shirts), but for Divine Liturgy -- where we're literally in the realm of heaven, in the presence of Christ-- I try to follow the example of our bishops (our shepherds leading us to Christ). I try to put on my best "vestments." They're not uber fancy by any stretch of the imagination, but not usually the stuff I typically wear every day.

 

[Harriet Vane]

It's a respect thing. If I would dress up to visit the White House or Buckingham Palace, why on Earth wouldn't I dress up to visit the house of the King of Kings?

 

 

I personally to be casual at church. However, at a former church of mine this was the thinking. It wasn't about fashion or about one-ups-manship but about showing the highest honor to God.

[8circles]

I think its a heart issue, not one of outward appearance. I would dress-up for the President because I think he/she would care & I wouldn't want to offend. I don't believe God cares about my outside, just my inside - which needs quite a bit of work itself.

 

I do think that for many people, what's on their outside greatly affects how they feel inside and I think for them, if dressing a certain way makes it easier to worship with the appropriate demeanor/attitude/etc then by all means, they should do it.

[Word Nerd]

I don't dress up when I spend time with God at home or other places, so the logic doesn't follow to me that I am being remiss or disrespectful if I do not dress up when I go to church. I dress up sometimes but usually do not, though I try not to deviate much from the culture at whatever church I am attending.

[Jean in Newcastle]

As others have said, it is a respect thing for me. I have absolutely no problem with what anyone else wears. I just want to dress up.

[PrincessMommy]

It's a respect thing. If I would dress up to visit the White House or Buckingham Palace, why on Earth wouldn't I dress up to visit the house of the King of Kings?

 

Our parish is pretty varied too - a few jeans and also a few that really dress to the nines (and a couple ladies even wear fur coats!LOL). Most people dress like they would if they worked in an office. Anyway I personally like to try and wear a skirt or dress whenever I'm at church. It's just my own thing - I feel it's important to wear something modest and special (I'm a jeans kind of girl usually). It's not like I dress for a black-tie event. I often wear my jean skirt and boots. But, for *me* I want to go that extra mile when I go to church.

 

I'm sorry that you're feeling pressured. It was a change for me too as we went to a more jeans type of church before. I have a few standard skirts that are my go-to skirts (jeans skirt and a couple of black and brown skirts) and then change it up with tops.

 

I agree with the others that God is looking at the inside... but the outside is a reflection of how we respect the other person we are going to meet. As I like to say to some of my friends who thinks that anything should go for dress at church: Yes, a woman can get married in cut-offs and tee-shirt. She won't be any less married - - but what does that say about herself and how she feels about that very special day?

[Joker]

 

As I like to say to some of my friends who thinks that anything should go for dress at church: Yes, a woman can get married in cut-offs and tee-shirt. She won't be any less married - - but what does that say about herself and how she feels about that very special day?

 

I think this just really shows how opinons and ideas can be so varied. I was married in jeans and t-shirt (just the two of us and a minister at a sea side wedding chapel), and the day was so incredibly special. Different clothes would not have made it more meaningful.

[bolt.]

It seem like its something of a question of whether people think of a Church service as "a special occasion with God" or as "one of many ordinary occasions with God" -- I don't even need to be fully clothed to pray intimately in the presence of God, so I lean more toward the "ordinary occasion" sense of things... But there is nothing wrong with treating the gathering of believer as "something special" (especially if you have a high view of the Lord's table). (It only be a problem to imply that we are outside of the presence of God entirely on other less "special" holy occasions of daily life.)

[AndyJoy]

I live in So Cal, so many people in my church dress casually for church. I have no problem with this and never give what others are wearing a 2nd thought except for the occasional outfit I would personally consider immodest.

 

For me, dressing differently than I do on a daily basis helps prepare my heart for worship. I don't dress up to be noticed or feel "sexy" or whatever, but I do have a feeling of the day being more "set apart" when I put on a skirt and take the time to blow-dry my hair and pick out some jewelry. I spend very little time or effort on my daily outfits, but stopping to take the time to consider for church really slows me down my daily busyness somehow.

[gardenmom5]

I feel it is a way of showing respect to God. the old "sunday best". in many stores you will be treated better if you "dress up" than if you just wear jeans (and I love my jeans). Might not seem fair (or even rational considering how many millionaires around here dress like hippies), but it's reality.

there are some younger women in the other congregation in our building who wear jeans. they are welcomed, because when all is said and done, it's more important that they "be there".

[mumto2]

We do normally change for church into nicer clothing. We have just started attending our village church regularly. The big thing there seems to be dressing warm enough. One sweet old lady told dh as he was removing his coat (he was a reader and wanted to look appriate in a suit) that she had 2 coats on and there was no way she was removing either!

 

They do have heatng just not efficient. Really cannot modify 900 years old and end up with archaeologists every time they remodel.

 

Wear what you are comfortable in and enjoy the services.

[Plink]

Wear what you want. Church isn't about clothes. If you feel more comfortable in jeans, than wear them. Any church worth anything will know that it is more important to have you there than to have everyone dressed the same.

 

My church is fairly formal, yet nobody batts an eyelash at someone dressed differently. I've never even thought about it.

[nono]

I don't get out much and have a closet full of clothes from when I did. It would be wasteful to me to not use those clothes when I go to church. The other thing I realized about 10 years back is that I would compromise myself when buying nicer clothes. Meaning, I'd put up with less-than-comfortable in "dressier" clothes. I realized that is such bull, and stopped doing that. Now, when I reach in my closet for something nicer to wear, there's no hesitation or thinking, "I should wear something comfortable." Because it's all comfortable! (Dress shoes included!)

[Amira]

I go to a church where almost everyone dresses up, always. It is rare to even see a woman in dress pants, much less jeans. I hope we never make anyone who doesn't dress up feel uncomfortable.

 

But personally, I don't care about clothes. I get that many people do and there are times when I try to accommodate that, but I cannot really see why clothes matter so much.

 

Clothes can be an outward sign of what a person is like, or what they are trying to communicate, but for some people, they're just clothes. I prefer to assume the second, even if I suspect the first, about a person because I think I have a better chance of getting to know the person if I ignore the clothes.

 

But again, I completely understand that I am not really normal in this. Clothes are important for many people and that's okay with me.

[Pawz4me]

Yes, a woman can get married in cut-offs and tee-shirt. She won't be any less married - - but what does that say about herself and how she feels about that very special day?

 

I would assume her attention was where it should be -- On the meaning of the day, the commitment, etc. Not on unimportant, superficial things.

 

When my FIL died my nephew's then-girlfriend attended the funeral in a skimpy tank top and ripped jeans. Her dress wasn't important. That she was there for my nephew was.

 

It's very interesting to see the different responses on this thread. And of course there is no right or wrong across the board. Just what's right for "you."

[justamouse]

I find it interesting that reducing the seriousness of the ceremony of weddings and church are the way people excuse their lack of taking those ceremonies seriously.

 

It could be that for a Catholic and Eastern Orthodox, with our belief that Christ is physically present in the Eucharist, that when we receive the Eucharist we are at the Table of God, it is a much more serious thing than just a gathering of friends in a house to sing together.

 

I don't think relativism is the answer to this. I think that we, as a society, have lost the ability to celebrate an occasion with pomp and circumstance it deserves because 'we're all just being real', and in that, we bring down the occasion, we reduce it. In our pride, we say, This Occasion doesn't deserve dress, after all dress doesn't matter--but actually, it matters greatly.

 

What it says about us is that we care so little, we find nothing to dress up for anymore. That's more of a commentary on our culture.

[Word Nerd]

I find it interesting that reducing the seriousness of the ceremony of weddings and church are the way people excuse their lack of taking those ceremonies seriously.

 

It could be that for a Catholic and Eastern Orthodox, with our belief that Christ is physically present in the Eucharist, that when we receive the Eucharist we are at the Table of God, it is a much more serious thing than just a gathering of friends in a house to sing together.

 

I don't think relativism is the answer to this. I think that we, as a society, have lost the ability to celebrate an occasion with pomp and circumstance it deserves because 'we're all just being real', and in that, we bring down the occasion, we reduce it. In our pride, we say, This Occasion doesn't deserve dress, after all dress doesn't matter--but actually, it matters greatly.

 

What it says about us is that we care so little, we find nothing to dress up for anymore. That's more of a commentary on our culture.

 

It's a false dichotomy to suggest that one can either dress up for church or care little about church and taking it seriously.

[Ellie]

In the history of the world, and in most cultures and religions, dressing more formally has been a sign of reverence and respect, whether for an event such as a wedding or funeral, or for religious rituals. It is only in the last couple of generations (and possibly mostly in the U.S.) that people have decided that their outward appearance is irrelevant. "Comfort" has become more important than preparing one's outward appearance to reflect one's inward heart.

 

People cannot see our hearts; they can only see our outward appearance. I vote for Sunday best. :-)

[trinchick]

We dress up for church, but I don't think it makes any difference to God or Jesus at all. I want to impress upon my kids that church is a special place and the time that we spend there as a family is special, and I think that wearing special clothes helps to enforce that (even if it's in a shallow way).

 

Our church is pretty casual, but not too casual if that makes any sense. Most women wear trousers and sweaters. Most men wear chinos and dress shirts/sweaters. Some men wear a jacket; a couple wear suits and ties. There are some younger people who come in jeans. No one really cares in our church; I've never heard anyone discuss what anyone else is wearing besides to compliment a pretty scarf, pin, blouse, etc. Fellowship is more important to us.

[bobbeym]

We have very mixed dress at our church, and it's not uncommon to find any of our pastors dressed in jeans or khakis with a button-up shirt for any service. The older members tend to dress up more than the younger ones, but nobody cares what anyone wears. Our pastor preaches that it's about where your heart is at, not what you wear on the outside that matters when you step into the church. We come together in fellowship to worship and honor the Lord, but that shouldn't make it more special than the time we spend together with Him in our daily life. Our youth have rubber bracelets that say "I Pray Naked" following a youth series where the pastor reinforced that they should and can pray everywhere, even if it means praying in the shower.

 

Me personally, I usually wear business casual on Wednesday b/c I don't have time to change before church. Sundays I wear jeans and whatever shirt suits my fancy that morning.

[justamouse]

It's a false dichotomy to suggest that one can either dress up for church or care little about church and taking it seriously.

 

 

Is it, though?

 

What is the reasoning behind a person who is defending himself in court to wear a suit and tie? The lawyers will insist it be worn.

 

See, I would think you were right at first glance, but it starts to fall apart when taken to higher levels.

 

Visiting the White House?

 

Dignitaries?

 

Job interview?

 

Working at JP Morgan, a friend had to wear a skirt every day. Slacks on women were frowned upon. There was a reason for that. THere was a culture within the workplace that the CEOs wanted kept in place.

 

It's relativism and individualism (pride) snuck into cultural dress code. We're all OK, we're all the same on the inside, so what does it matter what we wear? We don't want to offend those who have less, so we will all dress casually. We want to make church accommodating.

 

Church is an act of community. It's not an individual act. Marriage is an act of community. You are declaring your intentions and bond to the community--it's not about you as an individual.

 

When it's all about you--it's all about pride. Declaring that you insist on 'comfort' above dressing up is about you saying you matter more than the community, than what you are celebrating.

[Joker]

I find it interesting that reducing the seriousness of the ceremony of weddings and church are the way people excuse their lack of taking those ceremonies seriously.

 

It could be that for a Catholic and Eastern Orthodox, with our belief that Christ is physically present in the Eucharist, that when we receive the Eucharist we are at the Table of God, it is a much more serious thing than just a gathering of friends in a house to sing together.

 

I don't think relativism is the answer to this. I think that we, as a society, have lost the ability to celebrate an occasion with pomp and circumstance it deserves because 'we're all just being real', and in that, we bring down the occasion, we reduce it. In our pride, we say, This Occasion doesn't deserve dress, after all dress doesn't matter--but actually, it matters greatly.

 

What it says about us is that we care so little, we find nothing to dress up for anymore. That's more of a commentary on our culture.

 

 

I really don't get this. We're currently attending a Catholic church and the dress varies from shorts to suits. I don't look at those in shorts as not caring or not taking it seriously. I don't think that's fair or right. I've been in the process of meeting them all and they're lovely people. My clothes do not speak for what is in my heart, and it's not my fault if others are judging me by the clothes I wear to church. That speaks more to the person doing the judging that it does me and my attire.

 

I also was one who posted about wearing jeans at my wedding, and I can assure you dh and I took our vows seriously and they mean something to us. Our clothes did not matter. You saying they do doesn't change our truth.

 

One more thing is that my dd wears jeans only. She doesn't own a dress. It's not that she can't find a reason to dress up, it is that doing so makes her incredibly uncomfortable right now. She's maturing and changing and it's all new to her and she is happy and comfortable in jeans. If I could somehow force her into a dress to go to church, it would become something she resented. She would stop going as soon as she could. I'll take her sitting happily and focused beside me in the pew on Sunday any day over her being angry and resentful because we force her wear a dress.

[Danestress]

I dress for church. I don't dress up elaborately, but I tend to wear and skirt or dress and to try to look nice. Definitely not jeans.

 

I don't think this in any way reflects my heart, and I don't think it's about Jesus. I actually think I am supposed to be walking with Jesus every day, so Sunday is a corporate worship day, but it's not a day when I "Go see God" and get dressed for it.

 

No, I will admit that, on the day when I see all my church family members, I want to look nice because I am vain. I am aging and don't look all that great half the time, and I put extra effort into Sunday because .... I just want to look nice! Also, there is a feeling that one keeps up certain standards. I miss the days when ladies looked fairly nice going to the grocery store or to the library, and when men didn't show their toes in public. I still just hate a man in sandals. So I dress nicely because I just think people ought to look nicer in public.

 

But I really love my friends who are super casual and don't think that way. If you showed up at my church in jeans, you would not be the only one, and I doubt seriously that anyone would think anything bad about you.

[justamouse]

I really don't get this. We're currently attending a Catholic church and the dress varies from shorts to suits. I don't look at those in shorts as not caring or not taking it seriously. I don't think that's fair or right. I've been in the process of meeting them all and they're lovely people. My clothes do not speak for what is in my heart, and it's not my fault if others are judging me by the clothes I wear to church. That speaks more to the person doing the judging that it does me and my attire.

 

I also was one who posted about wearing jeans at my wedding, and I can assure you dh and I took our vows seriously and they mean something to us. Our clothes did not matter. You saying they do doesn't change our truth.

 

One more thing is that my dd wears jeans only. She doesn't own a dress. It's not that she can't find a reason to dress up, it is that doing so makes her incredibly uncomfortable right now. She's maturing and changing and it's all new to her and she is happy and comfortable in jeans. If I could somehow force her into a dress to go to church, it would become something she resented. She would stop going as soon as she could. I'll take her sitting happily and focused beside me in the pew on Sunday any day over her being angry and resentful because we force her wear a dress.

 

 

 

I wear jeans to church too--when I go to the evening service. And I still put on makeup, wear a pretty sweater and a scarf, do my hair.

 

I don't judge at all. It's been a hard lesson for me, too, and one that has been uncomfortable to change, especially with my kids. But now, my kids love church and they chose to dress up because it's something special to them. I am the last person that wants to get dressed up. And I have to remind myself, it's not about me. I'm going to see the one I Love, to celebrate The Eucharist. I can run upstairs and take the five minutes to get dressed. But when I first read that line from Dr Kreeft, I was taken aback, and after much thinking about it realized he was right.

 

When my daughter makes First Communion this spring, she'll be wearing a beautiful dress and a veil. When I was baptized and confirmed at Easter Vigil (a glorious mass) I wore a dress and heels. If you get your marriage convalidated, I am betting you'll dress up.

 

Father puts in the bulletin every summer, no short shorts, no tank tops, no flip flops. (Nono lives by the shore and her rules are different, accommodating to the environment).

 

It's not a point of arriving, it's a thing of growth. Try it, you'll understand.

[Word Nerd]

Is it, though?

 

What is the reasoning behind a person who is defending himself in court to wear a suit and tie? The lawyers will insist it be worn.

 

See, I would think you were right at first glance, but it starts to fall apart when taken to higher levels.

 

Visiting the White House?

 

Dignitaries?

 

Job interview?

 

Working at JP Morgan, a friend had to wear a skirt every day. Slacks on women were frowned upon. There was a reason for that. THere was a culture within the workplace that the CEOs wanted kept in place.

 

It's relativism and individualism (pride) snuck into cultural dress code. We're all OK, we're all the same on the inside, so what does it matter what we wear? We don't want to offend those who have less, so we will all dress casually. We want to make church accommodating.

 

Church is an act of community. It's not an individual act. Marriage is an act of community. You are declaring your intentions and bond to the community--it's not about you as an individual.

 

When it's all about you--it's all about pride. Declaring that you insist on 'comfort' above dressing up is about you saying you matter more than the community, than what you are celebrating.

 

 

I'm not sure if the "you" above is directed at me since I'm the one quoted or the general you, but in any case I haven't seen anyone in this thread even imply that it's all about them or insist on their own comfort and individuality. In fact, I said in my first post above that my church dress depends on the culture of the church I'm attending and doesn't deviate much from that. I usually wear the same types of outfits I wear to work and dress up more than that on occasion.

[justamouse]

I'm not sure if the "you" above is directed at me since I'm the one quoted or the general you, but in any case I haven't seen anyone in this thread even imply that it's all about them or insist on their own comfort and individuality. In fact, I said in my first post above that my church dress depends on the culture of the church I'm attending and doesn't deviate much from that. I usually wear the same types of outfits I wear to work and dress up more than that on occasion.

 

 

More of a universal you, though I was answering you because people often say the same thing.

 

If outward appearances didn't matter, lawyers wouldn't dress up every day, cops wouldn't have uniforms, military wouldn't have uniforms, ... how many professionals wear uniforms? Tons.

 

If dress didn't matter, no one would wear them. I think we lie to ourselves when we say dress doesn't matter.

 

If a cop dies, I can't *imagine* another cop going to his brother's funeral in jeans. I don't even think he'd entertain the thought.

 

Dress matters, whether we like it or not. And we may want to think about why we react to it so negatively.

[justamouse]

I'm going to pick on Bethany a bit just to show a bit of difference.

 

She worships at home, casually, BUT she wears a headscarf. I think perhaps many of her women sisters do, too?

 

So, even though they dress casually, they have an outward conforming appearance (conformation isn't bad!!!! it's an act of humility!) and one that defines them as a community, and as a spirituality. Her headscarf IS her vestment. So much so, that she wears it every day, not just in church.

 

ETA: I was reading Quiet last night, finishing it up, and the chapter on Asian Americans and communication was VERY eye opening.

 

The reason they are so quiet, the reason they are humble as a people, is because they value the community more than themselves.

 

When people mimic others at a party in dress and speech, say, it's to conform to the community that is that party, and it's actually a sign of respect.

[Danestress]

So now I am curious

I wear jeans to church too--when I go to the evening service. And I still put on makeup, wear a pretty sweater and a scarf, do my hair.

 

 

 

 

 

Do you not celebrate the Eucharist at the evening service? Or is there some other reason why you can wear jeans to the evenings service but not the morning service (other than just feeling like that's the way everyone does it, and it's sort of the expected culture of the event).

 

I am one who does generally dress for church, but not because that's where I go to see Jesus. We are Anglicans, and I don't believe Christ is literally present "in" the bread and wine, but I actually believe that the Holy Spirit dwells in us always, at all times, when we are believers.

 

Anyway, I fully admit that I dress for church because I want to look nice when I see all the people I see at church, which is vain and shallow. I also don't want to look like my Mama never told me that you are supposed to dress for church:) So clearly I am shallow anyway. But my faith is genuine. Your position on this just makes me scratch my head, though, because on one hand, you say you dress for church because you go to see God there, but then if you go to a different service, you don't really dress - just tidy up.

[nono]

 

 

Father puts in the bulletin every summer, no short shorts, no tank tops, no flip flops. (Nono lives by the shore and her rules are different, accommodating to the environment).

 

 

 

That's our Saturday night, "Come Straight from the Beach" Mass. But I usually go to Sunday morning, "Wear Your Most Bitchin' Tommy Bahama or Lily Pulitzer Outfit" Mass. Because, like I said, I have nowhere else to wear this stuff!

 

But I think that putting comfort = uber-casual is false too. It took me a LOOONGGGG time to learn that one. I just needed to find the right stuff that was dressier and still comfortable for me. For instance, I believe that pantyhose are the work of the devil. So, in the winter, dresses don't work in my world unless they can go with the right tights. I consider that dressed up. Might not be for some. But it's definitely a couple of dress levels above what I wear around the house.

[justamouse]

So now I am curious

 

 

Do you not celebrate the Eucharist at the evening service? Or is there some other reason why you can wear jeans to the evenings service but not the morning service (other than just feeling like that's the way everyone does it, and it's sort of the expected culture of the event).

 

I am one who does generally dress for church, but not because that's where I go to see Jesus. We are Anglicans, and I don't believe Christ is literally present "in" the bread and wine, but I actually believe that the Holy Spirit dwells in us always, at all times, when we are believers.

 

Anyway, I fully admit that I dress for church because I want to look nice when I see all the people I see at church, which is vain and shallow. I also don't want to look like my Mama never told me that you are supposed to dress for church:) So clearly I am shallow anyway. But my faith is genuine. Your position on this just makes me scratch my head, though, because on one hand, you say you dress for church because you go to see God there, but then if you go to a different service, you don't really dress - just tidy up.

 

 

 

I lost a lot of weight and have no dress slacks anymore (though I did find a nice pair of cords that I now fit in again that are dressy and I've been wearing them!). Building up my kid's wardrobe has been more important to me. I was able to build up my summer clothes, but not yet for my winter clothes. It is something I do need to remedy, but you know how it is for moms...

 

I'm with my Dh all the time. He sees me in sweats. When I go out to dinner with him, I dress up.

 

Look, I'm not saying I didn't have a problem with the idea at first. I did. I am fully a product of my casual American society.

[Joker]

I lost a lot of weight and have no dress slacks. Building up my kids wardrobe has been more important to me. I was able to build up my summer clothes, but not yet for my winter clothes. It is something I do need to remedy, but you know how it is for moms...

 

I'm with my Dh all the time. He sees me in sweats. When I go out to dinner with him, I dress up.

 

 

But I think she was asking why jeans are acceptable at night service but not morning. Up thread you listed one reason you dress up is for the Eucharist, so why isn't it just as worthy of dressing up at night?

 

I wear skirts, dresses, or slacks every time I am in a church because it's how I was raised. Older dd always wears jeans, nice shirt and flats. It doesn't matter if it's Saturday night Mass or Sunday morning Mass.

[Danestress]

I lost a lot of weight and have no dress slacks. Building up my kid's wardrobe has been more important to me. I was able to build up my summer clothes, but not yet for my winter clothes. It is something I do need to remedy, but you know how it is for moms...

 

I'm with my Dh all the time. He sees me in sweats. When I go out to dinner with him, I dress up.

 

Look, I'm not saying I didn't have a problem with the idea at first. I did. I am fully a product of my casual American society.

 

 

 

Right. I totally get both prioritizing your children's wardrobe and the dinner out thing. I was thinking about how I make my family dress for Thanksgiving dinner even though we eat it with exactly the same people we eat many dinners with throughout the year. There is just something "special" about certain events. I can't necessarily write a cogent argument for why I insist on that, but then I don't have to, because I am the Mom and the keeper of all standards!

 

It was more the Eucharist thing I was curious about, because Anglicans celebrate Eucharlist at pretty much every service, every week, every chance we get, lol.

[justamouse]

But I think she was asking why jeans are acceptable at night service but not morning. Up thread you listed one reason you dress up is for the Eucharist, so why isn't it just as worthy of dressing up at night?

 

I wear skirts, dresses, or slacks every time I am in a church because it's how I was raised. Older dd always wears jeans, nice shirt and flats. It doesn't matter if it's Saturday night Mass or Sunday morning Mass.

 

 

 

I answered that below-- I recently lost 30 pounds and don't have much that is church worthy that fits me right now. But I wear the best that I have. And a full dress coat overtop! :D

[justamouse]

 

It was more the Eucharist thing I was curious about, because Anglicans celebrate Eucharlist at pretty much every service, every week, every chance we get, lol.

 

 

 

We do, too, as Catholics, every time. I think many walk though the Mass though, not really thinking about it, which is a frailty of ours, to not be present in our moments, you know? But once I understood the reality of that tabernacle...it changes you. I agree, there IS something special about certain events and I think we should stop trying to lessen them.

[AimeeM]

We don't dress up, per se... but we do go out of our way to dress more modestly. Our general rule for the children is no shorts, skirt or dress for the girl child (although we don't pitch a fit if she wears pants - not a battle we'll fight), and no "loud" shirts. I wear a skirt (but not a formal one; just a long skirt) and modest top. My husband usually wears slacks and a polo shirt. Not "formal"... just somewhat "nicer". Lol.

[Hwin]

I wear dressy clothes to church because then I only have to wear them for a couple of hours. Wearing stockings and a skirt for two hours entitles me to hop into my PJs the minute I get home.

[Scarlett]

We are a casual family. I love casual. In the past years we've mostly gone to a casual-dress mega church. We curently attend a church where you have jeans and suits. We've been visiting a church where we have a lot of connections - everyone dresses up. Why is this important? I feel stressed trying to pick out something to wear. I feel like a fake b/c I'm trying to fit in w/ everyone else rather than be who I really am and I want God and the folks there to accept me for who I am.

 

So, tell me why it's important for you to dress up for church. What would you do if someone in jeans walked into your dressed up church?

 

We dress up because we believe it is giving our best to God during a designated education/worship time.

 

If someone walked in in jeans they would be welcome.

 

If it stresses you out spend a little time and money to get a couple of outfits together. My son has been in a suit for services since he was 2. Btw, he NEVER complains about dressing up for services but he battles me on any casual shirt that has a collar.

[Pawz4me]

If outward appearances didn't matter, lawyers wouldn't dress up every day, cops wouldn't have uniforms, military wouldn't have uniforms, ... how many professionals wear uniforms? Tons.

 

If dress didn't matter, no one would wear them. I think we lie to ourselves when we say dress doesn't matter.

 

If a cop dies, I can't *imagine* another cop going to his brother's funeral in jeans. I don't even think he'd entertain the thought.

 

Dress matters, whether we like it or not. And we may want to think about why we react to it so negatively.

 

1 Samuel 16:7: But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

 

John 7:24: Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.

 

(Both are from the New International Version.)

[Parrothead]

I don't get out much and have a closet full of clothes from when I did. It would be wasteful to me to not use those clothes when I go to church. The other thing I realized about 10 years back is that I would compromise myself when buying nicer clothes. Meaning, I'd put up with less-than-comfortable in "dressier" clothes. I realized that is such bull, and stopped doing that. Now, when I reach in my closet for something nicer to wear, there's no hesitation or thinking, "I should wear something comfortable." Because it's all comfortable! (Dress shoes included!)

This is my take on clothing also. I do draw the line at wearing yoga pants to church and I won't leave the house in pajama pants if I have to get out of the car.

 

Everything Else I wear is up for grabs on any day of the week. If I feel the need to wear a skirt on a day I'm home all day I do. What I own is as easy to work or relax in as yoga pants. Or I may wear a skirt all day Sunday.

 

I do save my little black dresses and 5inch heels for more festive occasions.

[milovany]

If someone walked in in jeans they would be welcome.

 

Yes, the same would be true in our high-church liturgical parish. No one would even really care (and if anyone does, it's an issue I/we need to deal with in our own hearts). And yet, the tendency once one has been attending for awhile is for most to dress up at least a wee bit more than usual when coming to church, especially for a Divine Liturgy where the Eucharist will be served, and I believe this is a natural inclination given the nature of these particular services, similar to what you are describing.

[ktgrok]

We are a casual family. I love casual. In the past years we've mostly gone to a casual-dress mega church. We curently attend a church where you have jeans and suits. We've been visiting a church where we have a lot of connections - everyone dresses up. Why is this important? I feel stressed trying to pick out something to wear. I feel like a fake b/c I'm trying to fit in w/ everyone else rather than be who I really am and I want God and the folks there to accept me for who I am.

 

So, tell me why it's important for you to dress up for church. What would you do if someone in jeans walked into your dressed up church?

No one should care. If they do that is there problem. Some like to dress up for church to mark the importance of it. I'd dress up to meet the president, and would do so to meet my God, in theory. In practice as long as I'm there that is what matters.