cricket1178 Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Okay, I realize people let us down and none of us can be completely "true" all the time. None of us are perfect. But, for the sake of this question (let's not read too much into it, ;)) do you have one friend (some may have more) that is always there for you. You know you can share anything with this person and there is a trusted bond? KWIM? Near or far that person is in your corner. Are you that friend in return? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karenciavo Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes. I have a person I have been friends with since we were drug dealers in high school. As you can imagine from that first sentence we have gone through many things together. Now we are both Christian, saved 8 years apart - I was the holdout :D, and we since than we are closer than ever. Only God knows more about me. She is married to a PCA pastor and we haven't been able to live next to each other in years, but they are planting a church in Atlantic City, NJ next year and we will be only 45 minutes away from each other. I can't wait! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle in MO Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 a couple of really, really close friends. One is an older woman who is almost like a "mom" to me; she was a tremendous blessing to me during some difficult h.s. and college years (after the divorce of my parents). We still visit her! Another is a very loyal friend who really is "tried and true". No matter what, we've always tried to be there for each other, and we believe in each other. Friends like this are so rare, but so great to have! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
percytruffle Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes, my sister. We know pretty much everything about one another and confide in each other even though we don't live close. As for a non-family member, no, there isn't anyone. I thought there was last year, but the more I go to know her the more I realized I didn't. kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes, there's someone I've known since junior high who has been with my through thick and thin. True friends are a real blessing and so, so rare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 She's ten minutes down the road. We talk daily. She's a talker, I'm a listener (or at least a phone-holder). We can tell each other anything and are each other's therapist. She keeps me from having to vent on these boards. I know I can count on her and she knows she can count on me. She's a blessing to me. K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes a couple actually. My sister and a friend from high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Okay, I realize people let us down and none of us can be completely "true" all the time. None of us are perfect. But, for the sake of this question (let's not read too much into it, ;)) do you have one friend (some may have more) that is always there for you. You know you can share anything with this person and there is a trusted bond? KWIM? Near or far that person is in your corner. Are you that friend in return? One of the saddest part of my divorce was losing a friend of twenty years. I have gotten over my hurt and contact them in a polite way, but after years of letter writing in the decade I lived back east, and just always feeling this person was my lifelong pal, they, well they didn't "side" with my ex, they just grew closer to him, even traveling to Europe with spouse and my ex and ex's new girlfriend. I was okay with that....it was all the yak about the ex. I still know I'm going to hear something about him when I visit, and I keep saying "I don't know, I don't care". This friend was also, I think, a little unhappy I decided to have a baby so soon after. I was in my forties and I was skipping cycles...I had to do it now or never. This friend really chastised me over my new husband. I always knew romantic love can fade and fail, but this was a shock as well as painful. I don't think this person changed....I think that their opinion of me changed. It showed me that even this dear friend could fall for the charming patter of my ex..... But prior to this, I always felt I had, in rare moments of doubt, a really smart, helpful, wise advisor, a person I could always count on for a helping hand. It is a lovely feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes, I do - Shenan - who is also on these boards. I know I can call her and talk about anything and she's one of the few people I know can who make me bust out laughing. She's only done one thing that has really annoyed me and that is moving away:). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I have 4 or 5. Wow. Thanks for asking that question because when I type that out I see what a real blessing that is. I would count My Mom My best friend since we were 11 A younger friend that I've known since she was about 6 and I was 16...she grew into a lovely woman---we feel like kindred spirits. Another even younger woman that I met about 6 years ago when she married into a family that is very close to me. A friend from work (where I haven't worked for 8 years). We stay close and I know I could depend on her. I don't have the exact relationship with any two of these of course....but I share almost all of myself with all of them....and they do the same in return. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I actually have several. My best friend since I was 2 years old. We have had periods of time where it was hard to get in contact with her, but whenever her life settles down - we can always pick up where we left off. My other friend is one I met in Junior High. We talk every other weekend for a couple of hours. I can tell her anything. Then I have my sister-in-law (dh's sister). I can tell her all the family gossip and know that she won't tell anyone anything. Finally, I used to have my other sister-in-law (dh's brother's wife). She was my closest and best friend. We talked everyday on the web or on the phone. We were so alike and understood each other like nobody else. She passed away nearly 5 years ago. I just thank God I had these other great friends to get me through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie in Oh Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 She lives in Nebraska right now-- another AF wife. She is like a sister to me. She is invaluable to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 A couple, one of them is dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 We live two states away, so we usually only see each other once a year. We met in college. I've often told DD, who does not have many friends, that if she can have one true friend, she will be very blessed. Linda is always there for me and I am always there for her. I am very lucky to have her. We met when she needed a ride to college freshman orientation (a 3 day event 10 hours away). Her parents couldn't take her because her mother had brain cancer and was not doing well. She lost her mother within a month. Linda often says that I was the last gift her mother gave her. And I am so grateful to have that gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes! My best friend, Selena, is like a sister to me. We have been best friends since we were 13. She is so awesome!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 One of the saddest part of my divorce was losing a friend...But prior to this, I always felt I had, in rare moments of doubt, a really smart, helpful, wise advisor, a person I could always count on for a helping hand. It is a lovely feeling. My husband's cousin and his wife are my oldest son's spiritual sponsors (Lutheran baptism). This cousin's wife taught me to drive stick shift and was at the hospital when both of big boys were born. Loosing her friendship was one of the hardest parts of my divorce. They were very understanding and we still talk, but it is not same. I understand. Really, I do. They are his family. Actually, xh's actions cost him this cousin's close friendship as well, so I guess all four of us lost each other. :sad: Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Thankfully, yes. I have a friend that I met while in grad school. We know that we will be friends always. We don't live close to each other anymore. I am in TN and she is in NY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 On an upbeat note, my mom is my best friend! :D Can't beat that! Mandy ETA- I have two sisters that I grew up with that I still talk to, but we aren't as close as we were. I have one friend that I have known since high school (I dated her brother) and she would give me the shirt off her back if I asked and raise my children as her own if I couldn't. I also have several close IRL homeschool friends where I live now that talk to and hang out with regularly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy in Indy Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes...I have friend who is closer to me than my siblings. Long ago, we decided to be family. Our children call the other adults aunt and uncle and consider themselves cousins. I'm very blessed to have my bf in my life! (And she's not afraid to tell me when I'm WAY off the mark!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanie Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Okay, I realize people let us down and none of us can be completely "true" all the time. None of us are perfect. But, for the sake of this question (let's not read too much into it, ;)) do you have one friend (some may have more) that is always there for you. You know you can share anything with this person and there is a trusted bond? KWIM? Near or far that person is in your corner. Are you that friend in return? Yes, I have a few true friends that I can bare all to. Some are from my childhood,some from my adulthood. They are a blessing to me. They pray for me, stand in the gap for me, and always keep me grounded in The Truth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 and if I called them up and told them I needed them for anything...they would be right there! I would definitely do the same for them....and do! Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 My friend and I have known each other forever but we only became close friends after I had children (she's 4 yrs older than me and has grown children). We talk daily and are a sounding board for each other. We laugh and cry together (frequently)!:) I actually have another friend who I can also do this with. We have known each other not as long but we share children the same ages and sexes and both homeschool. And of course my husband is my friend too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpeach Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I have a few women in my life who are thick and thin friends. Funny, the last few years have been "thin" times as dh and I have sorted out some troubles . . . the people I thought were for me during "thick and thin" and for the long-haul certainly revealed their true colours. Working out problems is so hard (I really feel for some of the folks here who are trying to figure things out . . . ) but really worthwhile. I've found my nearest and dearest are the ones that have stood with me during our crazy. All that said, I have a dear friend who I've known since 5th grade that I can call with any and every issue, good or bad! It is a true gift. Even though I've been married for 10 years, I've only recently felt that my dh was one of those people -- that also makes me smile. :001_smile: Tricia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes - I am so blessed to have a wonderful friend like that! Actually, I have 2, but only one lives in NC. My bff from college lives in Michigan, and she's someone who is always my bff, even though I'm terrible about keeping in touch. We've known each other long enough now that we can laugh about things "back in the day." It's great. My other bff is someone I met shortly after we moved from MI to NC. Since I started homeschooling and she's become passionate about other things, we don't get to see each other as much as we used to, but I know I can call on her anytime for anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 My best friend calls herself my "husband in law" because she has to run over and take care of my emergencies when he is out of town. I never feel like I do enough for her in return, but she still loves me, so I must be doing something right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I have been more than blessed in this area. My best friend from highschool is someone who knows me inside and out and I know I can always trust her. I have several friends from church that I've known since we started having babies together. One in particular has really been that "go to" person during the last several years. I was telling my mother last night, the thing that used to make me crazy about her is something that I value above all other qualities now. She is bluntly honest a lot of the time. She calls things as she sees them. When I had a 2 yo and she had a newborn, it was painful because she was sure she'd never have a rotten 2 yo. However, she was the first to say, "I have a rotten 2 yo!" when that stage hit and we moved past that. So last night when I called to tell her I'd forgotten dd's birthday, she didn't tell me I s*ck and I know she won't ever say that. If she thinks it she would say it to me! I love knowing exactly where I stand with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlotteb Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I have a friend that I met about 4 years ago thru homeschooling. She is my best friend. Several times a week, we walk together and our kids love to play together. I have told her things that I very rarely tell someone (mostly about my childhood) and I trust her completely. I thank God for her quite often! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Not really. My mom is probably my best friend, but there are some things I can't share with her simply because she is my mom. She's also several states away, which doesn't help. My dh and I are good friends which has helped us survive a lot, but he doesn't want to do coffee and "chat" like a girlfriend. I always seem to be the 3rd wheel coming into friendships. Didn't we discuss that feeling a few months ago? Most of my friends in high school were guys and I have lost contact with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Me Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I have three, and I didn't realize this until I started to answer this post, but all three are ministry wives as I am. I think it helps to have folks who understand what your husband goes through on a daily basis. The three of them were close friends before my dh entered seminary, so it has been cool to see the relationships grow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I have several. 3 that are really top tier, know every little thing about me. Another 3 that are just as true, but we tend not to talk as often as the first 3. I've been blessed with great friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Lea Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I met my two "true" friends 14 years ago. The two of them have been best friends since about 3rd grade. They were already close like that when I met them. We are a tight little group. My dh has actually turned down job offers because he knows how important these friendships are to me and my kids. My kids and their kids are all like siblings, literally. They love like sibs and sometimes fight like sibs!LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Hood Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I have 2. What does it for us is that we are so different from one another and it's ok. We help each other in our differences. Other people, although friends, seem to busy trying to makes us similar to themselves. I consider myself blessed and enriched by these 2 people who make me think and they love me for the same reasons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 my husband is my dearest and truest friend - hands down. He really does tend to put me before himself, and through the years, he can handle female babbling....though I try not to put him through that too much :) I have one friend that knows all my dirt, and still loves me, so I know she's a true friend. Sometimes, things can be hard b/c we raise our children differently and we have very different husbands, but through thick and thin, I know she'd be there for me. I have one other friend from hs, we went to college, "broke up" you could say, but have made contact again...she's a lifer, I'm sure of it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Not really. My mom is probably my best friend, but there are some things I can't share with her simply because she is my mom. Me too. My Mom rocks. I've learned the hard way not to over rely on friends. Don't get me wrong. Love them, love the company but I don't bank on them, if they are around it's a nice bonus. I also don't go nuts out of my way anymore. I used to be w-a-y too giving and open. Now I direct that to my family...and myself. Personally I think the whole tralala best friend biz is a 'you make me complete' fantasy and I've finally realized I may not be perfect but I'm not 'broken' or 'incomplete'. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Only me Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I met my closest friend when our children were in kindergarten (11 years ago). At first we just talked while waiting to pick our children up from school. Her son and my dd became good friends and up until about 2nd grade her ds would brag to everyone how he was going to marry my dd :). After 3rd grade I decided to take my dd out of public school to homeschool her. Even though I knew that this friend didn't completely agree with homeschooling she only voiced her true concerns in a way that I knew that she just wanted what was best for my children. Through the years though she has learned what a great experience homeschoolling has been for my children. Even though she has no desire to homeschool she has encouraged me 110%. We have really been there for each other through thick and thin (medical problems, family problems, school problems, etc.). What is wonderful is that we can both share our point of view even if it is different. We never take it as criticism but it has really helped us to think through a lot of problems. We email each other almost every day but only get to see each other every 2-3 months but we have still remained very close. I really pray that my kids will be able to find a true friend like her some day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorCalMom Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I have several including my mom. I have a lifelong friend that I grew up with. Sometimes we don't talk for months at a time, but when we do it is like no time has passed at all. And no matter where our family moves to, God always places a true friend in my path that I can deeply connect with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julpost Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes, my sister. We know pretty much everything about one another and confide in each other even though we don't live close. As for a non-family member, no, there isn't anyone. I thought there was last year, but the more I go to know her the more I realized I didn't. kwim? :iagree: Me too. My sister rocks!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes. I have a person I have been friends with since we were drug dealers in high school. As you can imagine from that first sentence we have gone through many things together. :blink: I would never have guess you were in pharmaceuticals! Good to see you made it out of the biz in one piece! My Dh is my best friend. We have been together for 25 years. I honestly feel even if our relationship as partners had not worked out, we would still have remained friends. I truly love him more than words can express. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krista in LA Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I have my cosmic twin bff who I met when we moved to PA in 6th grade. We've had a bond from day 1. There were times when we weren't necessarily that close due to going to different colleges, etc, but we always knew that the other one was there for us. As adults, we are even closer even though she is in PA and I'm in LA. We aren't ones to talk every day, or even every week. Sometimes it's even a couple of months, but if either one of us was in need, the other would be there. She is the Godmother to my dd. I also have a couple of other friends that I know I could count on. Unfortunately, one is in IL and one is 4 hours away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shenan Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes, I do - Shenan - who is also on these boards. I know I can call her and talk about anything and she's one of the few people I know can who make me bust out laughing. She's only done one thing that has really annoyed me and that is moving away:). sniff...sniff...sniff... Thanks Kathleen...... You too are my bestest friend in the whole widest world!!!!!!:001_smile: You are always there to answer the phone when I need you... But...um....could you PLEASE QUIT COMPLAINING about me moving!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Geesh!!!:D BTW, There's a house on 20 acres for sale right around the corner from me.. There ONLY asking $1,500,000.00 for it!!! :tongue_smilie: Pssst! When I see the Publishers Clearing House van drive by, I will ambush them, hold them up, and I split the loot with ya... Then you can purchase that house and we will be even closer neighbors than before... But don't tell anyone..let's keep that between us.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Okay, I realize people let us down and none of us can be completely "true" all the time. None of us are perfect. But, for the sake of this question (let's not read too much into it, ;)) do you have one friend (some may have more) that is always there for you. You know you can share anything with this person and there is a trusted bond? KWIM? Near or far that person is in your corner. Are you that friend in return? I have three, actually. My Sweetie is the first one. And for a long time he was the *only* one that I knew I could count on, no matter what. The past two years or so, I've added two more. I am thankful every day that I met these people. I am also thankful that, although I had my walls up -- WAY up! -- they waited me out. :lol: I don't think I'm a good friend in return, but I'm working on it. It's hard to overcome decades of building up defense mechanisms. But I am trying and I'm definitely making progress -- I've done a few things this summer that just last year would have been unthinkable. But I am definitely not in their league -- and never will be. It's really hard to put yourself "out there" when you're used to being knocked upside the head for your efforts. But these folks all make it pretty easy -- well, as easy as it will ever be. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes. I have a few :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I can think of 3, and I'm so grateful for them: J is great--we're almost always on the same wavelength, and it's easy being with her--but she moved just far enough away that we never cross paths anymore. We keep up on the phone, though. M is lots of fun, but I tend to be the one who is leaned upon--I'm her rock. If she had to be mine, she'd probably feel like her world was falling apart! And she moved right down the road from J. Sigh... And then there is S--high trust level with her--she's like being with family. But, alas, she just moved to another continent. I need one of those across the street!! Any takers?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 sniff...sniff...sniff...Thanks Kathleen...... You too are my bestest friend in the whole widest world!!!!!!:001_smile: You are always there to answer the phone when I need you... But...um....could you PLEASE QUIT COMPLAINING about me moving!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Geesh!!!:D BTW, There's a house on 20 acres for sale right around the corner from me.. There ONLY asking $1,500,000.00 for it!!! :tongue_smilie: Pssst! When I see the Publishers Clearing House van drive by, I will ambush them, hold them up, and I split the loot with ya... Then you can purchase that house and we will be even closer neighbors than before... But don't tell anyone..let's keep that between us.;) No need to ambush PCH - I will just dig around in the sofa cushions:D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I had what I thought was the closest friend you could have for 13 years. Then, a year ago, out of the blue, she told me, since I wasn't a Christian, she felt she could no longer be my friend, and refused to have anything to do with me, or my daughter, who was her goddaughter, and who adored her. My daughter called to say goodbye to her, and she hung up on her, and broke her heart. My dd still cries about it. I've never understood it, or forgiven it. This, honestly, was a worse betrayal then my xh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Yes, My sil in NC. We talk everyday on the phone at least 1 time, most of the time more than that. I can tell her anything and she gets it and when I need a "wakeup" call about something going on in my life she gives it to me in a loving way. I believe she would say the same thing about me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I had what I thought was the closest friend you could have for 13 years. Then, a year ago, out of the blue, she told me, since I wasn't a Christian, she felt she could no longer be my friend, and refused to have anything to do with me, or my daughter, who was her goddaughter, and who adored her. My daughter called to say goodbye to her, and she hung up on her, and broke her heart. My dd still cries about it. I've never understood it, or forgiven it. This, honestly, was a worse betrayal then my xh. Wow, just wow. How awful. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CactusPair Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 my dh is my one true blue, thru thick and thin, best buddy in the whole, wide world, forever and ever since high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HFClassicalAcademy Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I know dh's don't count right? Besides him it's my 2 sisters. I can tell them anything and know that they are always honest with me and want the best for me. Couldn't live without them!! Liz in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieAir Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I am willing to be that kind of friend, but I only really have one friend like that and it's dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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