Young adults/older child and your income...

[lynn]

In our state, to get the merit based Hope scholarship, one must fill at the FAFSA. The scholarship is purely based on gpa and ACT scores but the FAFSA serves as the application for the scholarship. The college elder ds goes to requires the FAFSA before they will award merit or financial aid.

 

 

 

I don't get this. My ds should get merit scholarships according to GPA and ACT he worked hard and earned it why not just give him scholarship he deserves without the FAFSA.

[skimomma]

I have not really put a lot of thought into this as my dd is too young to be thinking about FAFSA forms and such. But I do remember being really surprised when I first heard my parents numbers when I was filling out the FAFSA. I had no idea how much they made. They never refused to tell me, I think it just never came up. It turned out they made far more than I thought they did. And it bit me when applying for aid. I did not qualify for much but was responsible for my own college financing. Luckily it was more affordable back then.....

 

BUT, when I was thinking about our own situation now, it does not even matter. Both dh and I work for the state and our salaries are public knowledge. Anyone can look them up. And I know people have. That creeps me out a little on one hand. On the other, since we work for the state, we are paid very little so it is not like there is any possibility that we are hiding a fortune somewhere.

 

We already talk about finances with dd a lot because they are always tight. I expect we will include real numbers as she gets older so that she has a real grasp of how much money it takes to live the way we do....and therefore how she might have to live if she chooses specific career paths. I know many think kids should follow their hearts when picking a career path, but I believe that the financial ramifications is also an important consideration. If your one true love is underwater basket weaving, but it requires starving, you might consider another career path. I say this because as an 18 yo, I thought $1000/mo was a fortune. "I could live on that!," I thought. I could get a $300 apartment, pay $100 a month for a used car payment, maybe $100 for some food, and have $500 left over all just for fun. Ha ha. When I learned exactly what my parents made, it seemed like an enormous amount of money. But I also knew we were not living a luxurious life. It was the first time I started to really do the math that included things like retirement savings, insurance, plumbing repairs, that new siding for the house, car repairs, laundry quarters, etc..... And it did change how I approached picking a career. Kids can learn this other ways, of course, but why not be open with our own finances if for no other reason than to give some perspective?

[Murphy101]

I just want to be clear that not having parental income info doesn't screw a young adult out of anything. They can still go to college. The worst it can do is make it to where they have to wait until they are 24, which may not be all that bad an idea for many students. My parents refused because their income was none of my business and they felt I should pay my own way as an adult. I still think the system set up for age 24 is stupid.

 

And it's a non issue here because we are helping our kids already.

 

If they should have the audacity to ask where all "our" money is going, they would be swiftly informed that it is not their money and what we do with it is none of their business.

[Mrs Mungo]

Dd is applying for financial aid for college. She needs our income tax info. I was never allowed to see any of my parent's income information including tax info, so I'm not sure how to deal with this.

Is there any reason not to let your child see your tax info? Do you fill out the form for your child so that they don't see your financial info?

How do you handle this?

 

My parents did not allow me to use their tax info. This means I could never qualify for any form of scholarship, student loan, grant, work study or any other financial aid. It was *extremely* stressful (especially in last year or so) to try and work 2 full time jobs and go to school. Ridiculously so. I would never, ever even consider doing that to my kids. Sure, fill out the form if you don't want your kids seeing it, but please fill it out.

[QueenCat]

I don't get this. My ds should get merit scholarships according to GPA and ACT he worked hard and earned it why not just give him scholarship he deserves without the FAFSA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

?

 

 

It's what our state uses as the application form for the Hope scholarship. I don't agree with it but I wasn't going to have the child not get the scholarship money because I don't agree with the way they process it. His school also requires it for putting together the total financial package, even though certain scholarships, like the Presidential, are also purely based on ACT/gpa. He knew when applying what scholarships he would definitely get based on his ACT scores and gpa.

[Scarlett]

I just want to be clear that not having parental income info doesn't screw a young adult out of anything. They can still go to college. The worst it can do is make it to where they have to wait until they are 24, which may not be all that bad an idea for many students. My parents refused because their income was none of my business and they felt I should pay my own way as an adult. I still think the system set up for age 24 is stupid.

 

And it's a non issue here because we are helping our kids already.

 

If they should have the audacity to ask where all "our" money is going, they would be swiftly informed that it is not their money and what we do with it is none of their business.

 

 

There are many many kids who would do much better to wait until age 24 to go to college. What often happens though is that they are busy living life, get married, have kids and then feel they can't go back to college. I hope my XH and I will be able to help ds when the time comes but I will not go into debt to help him with college. I am on another board where a man there is going to go in debt to the tune of about $350K to send his son to a pricey college. His grades are good enough that he could get a free ride at many many in state colleges (they are on the east coast) but they have set up their life in such a way that none of them (the husband, wife or kids) will consider living within their means. I think that is insanity!

 

I am not sure why parents would keep income info from their kids....I just don't get that....It seems in most cases it is because the parents make too much for aid but can't afford to help and don't want the kid to see that? I don't know.

 

We don't tell our kids how much we make due to the exes in our lives...but when they are old enough to be applying for college we will tell them.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I just want to be clear that not having parental income info doesn't screw a young adult out of anything. They can still go to college. The worst it can do is make it to where they have to wait until they are 24, which may not be all that bad an idea for many students. My parents refused because their income was none of my business and they felt I should pay my own way as an adult. I still think the system set up for age 24 is stupid.

 

And it's a non issue here because we are helping our kids already.

 

If they should have the audacity to ask where all "our" money is going, they would be swiftly informed that it is not their money and what we do with it is none of their business.

 

 

It is making attending and getting financial aid immensely more difficult. A parent who refuses to reveal such basic information to a child completing a FAFSA is a control freak and/or slime ball.

[Murphy101]

I don't think they view it as a question of helping succeed. Given the ridiculously high number of students who don't finish and the ridiculously high debt they have whether they graduate or not with or without parental contribution - I think making the leap that a parent refusing to contribute is not wanting their adult child to succeed or is a slime ball is quite the stretch.

 

One could very easily make a claim that an adult that can't go on their own is at high risk for not succeeding at anything more than getting into debt. And many parents want no part of contributing to that very typical mess.

 

I also don't think it's being a control freak to tell an adult that my income is none of their business.

[Scarlett]

I don't think they view it as a question of helping succeed. Given the ridiculously high number of students who don't finish and the ridiculously high debt they have whether they graduate or not with or without parental contribution - I think making the leap that a parent refusing to contribute is not wanting their adult child to succeed or is a slime ball is quite the stretch.

 

One could very easily make a claim that an adult that can't go on their own is at high risk for not succeeding at anything more than getting into debt. And many parents want no part of contributing to that very typical mess.

 

I also don't think it's being a control freak to tell an adult that my income is none of their business.

 

Agree with the bolded.

 

I don't think it makes you a control freak. Still perplexes me though...why keep it from your young adults?

[SKL]

To be honest, as far as I remember, my mom filled out that part of the form and I didn't really look at it. However, I don't think she had anything to "hide" from me. It was more a matter of me not being that financially astute.

 

If your child qualifies for aid based on your income, why would you hold back the info?

 

If you have lots of money that you don't want your child to know about, there's no point providing the information anyway, since need-based financial aid wouldn't apply, unless your child were "independent." In my day, if the child was "independent" (self-supporting or over a certain age), the parents' financial info didn't come into the picture.

[Murphy101]

I suspect most families that keep it from their young adults do it bc they have a family culture of not talking about money in general and or an expectation of privacy and independence amount adults. Iow. It's under the heading of "private" and thus is simply not discussed. For most I wager it isn't a big hateful showdown. It's just the way it's always been.

 

I knew when I was 18 to not even ask. Approaching family about money was reserved for closed doors private conversation and it was usually a crisis situation. And even then, the answer might be no.

[*********]

My parents never did it either. Many parents don't. And I don't think they should have to either. Grown adults shouldn't need some other persons financial records to do anything. It's ridiculous.

 

But if you don't play the game, they don't play either until they are 24.

 

Your choice.

 

 

I couldn't agree more.

 

I was, let's go with 'estranged' from my parents when I moved out at 17. There was NO WAY they were giving me their financial info so I could apply for aid. I couldn't file a FAFSA. I ended up not being able to finish college.

 

It was SO ridiculous to me. My parents wouldn't even SPEAK with me. That had NO involvement in my support whatsoever. They planned to pay NOTHING EVER for my education. Why did FAFSA need to know anything about them? They weren't involved in my life in any way.

 

I tried to explain this to the school. No one cared. There was nothing they could do. I remember telling my financial aid officer 'Um, my parents could move out of the country, and I'd never know. What do people do who don't even know HOW to contact their parents for this information?" He had no answer. Rules are rules, dontcha know.

[Carrie12345]

The lack of financial education in my childhood crippled me.

 

My kids are 2, 5, 9, 10, and 14. They're right here in the main room when dh and I discuss every dollar of our budget for the week and month. They will understand money if I have to beat it into them! (Well, maybe a slight exaggeration.)

 

Money isn't dirty talk. Ignoring it is dangerous.

[Murphy101]

From my family perspective, financial aid was viewed as welfare (shame) and debt for classes was viewed as foolish.

 

If you couldn't do it on your own, then you shouldn't expect family to help unless it was a crisis of some sort.

 

I don't think anyone viewed it as hiding anything. It simply wasn't discussed bc it was rude and not other people's business. Why would two adults share their income info would be just as baffling a question to them.

[SKL]

 

My father grew up with this culture and there was a big hateful showdown. It basically meant my dad never could afford to go to college. Simply because his father refused to fill out a form. My dad went for one semester. He was so broke he stole his books. He just couldn't keep going. And yes, he was also working. He was also an excellent student.

 

Not the same, but my mom used to HATE providing that info because it was a pain in the butt for her. Not sure exactly why - I guess I'll find out in about 11 years. She would complain and hold it over my head if I was being an a$$ about something. However, she did suck it up and do it. Another reason to be really thankful for the parents I have.

[Scarlett]

From my family perspective, financial aid was viewed as welfare (shame) and debt for classes was viewed as foolish.

 

If you couldn't do it on your own, then you shouldn't expect family to help unless it was a crisis of some sort.

 

I don't think anyone viewed it as hiding anything. It simply wasn't discussed bc it was rude and not other people's business. Why would two adults share their income info would be just as baffling a question to them.

 

I'm curious, with a back ground like yours, do you share your income info with your young adult kids?

[SKL]

 

This too!

 

My parents didn't discuss money with me. I learned..the hard way. I was so incredibly clueless about everything. And I'm not a stupid person. But I simply was never taught anything about money.

 

I'm much more open with my kids because I want them to learn about money.

 

 

I have many memories of my mom "doing her budgeting" at the kitchen table etc. Money was very tight. I understood that basically everything was too expensive and worry about money was a fact of life. I do want my kids to understand money, but I hope to take a more balanced approach. You work hard, you inform yourself, you prioritize, you decide, you learn from your mistakes.

 

Education is a tough one nowadays, though. It seems to me that it's almost impossible for an everyday kid to go it alone (without some sort of financial subsidy). I feel that waiting until they are older will usually cost the child (unless it's her own decision). My brother did that and ended up being over 40 when he finally graduated. Never got to enjoy that pay bump that a college degree would have provided. Even now I think it affects his pay. So I wouldn't say it's generally better to make a child fully pay his own way nowadays, though it might be for some individual kids.

[Murphy101]

I never fit in with my family. I read too much and thought I was too good to live like them. (Their actual voiced opinions from as young as I can remember.)

 

I discuss finances with our kids. Around 16ish. And I help them manage their paychecks as well. We discuss every semester how much exams, classes and books are costing and how to pay for it.

 

But we have a family helps family attitude and expectation under my roof that dh and I were not raised to expect of our parents. Tho to be fair, dh's parents should have never wasted a dime on him at college. Oddly enough, they would have signed anything for him to go to any college and shouldn't have. They were far too kind with money when we were far too stupid to properly appreciate it. Wish they'd been willing to pay for my college. lol

[Murphy101]

And I should be clear. My oldest is just turning 18 this month. So my young adult kids are a relatively new experience.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I don't think they view it as a question of helping succeed. Given the ridiculously high number of students who don't finish and the ridiculously high debt they have whether they graduate or not with or without parental contribution - I think making the leap that a parent refusing to contribute is not wanting their adult child to succeed or is a slime ball is quite the stretch.

 

The parent doesn't have to contribute financially, and I never said they did. However, FAFSA requires information from the parents, and a student cannot receive financial aid or in some cases MERIT awards with out it.

 

One could very easily make a claim that an adult that can't go on their own is at high risk for not succeeding at anything more than getting into debt. And many parents want no part of contributing to that very typical mess.

 

I also don't think it's being a control freak to tell an adult that my income is none of their business.

 

 

Nonsense. I paid for 100% of my education via merit awards, jobs, and some financial aid. My parents did not have to contribute anything except the information for the FAFSA.

 

Any parent who refuses to release basic financial information to help their child apply for aid is truly an awful person.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I suspect most families that keep it from their young adults do it bc they have a family culture of not talking about money in general and or an expectation of privacy and independence amount adults. Iow. It's under the heading of "private" and thus is simply not discussed. For most I wager it isn't a big hateful showdown. It's just the way it's always been.

 

I knew when I was 18 to not even ask. Approaching family about money was reserved for closed doors private conversation and it was usually a crisis situation. And even then, the answer might be no.

 

 

Providing the information for the FAFSA is NOT approaching family members for money.

[FaithManor]

There are many many kids who would do much better to wait until age 24 to go to college. What often happens though is that they are busy living life, get married, have kids and then feel they can't go back to college. I hope my XH and I will be able to help ds when the time comes but I will not go into debt to help him with college. I am on another board where a man there is going to go in debt to the tune of about $350K to send his son to a pricey college.

 

 

 

$350,000 in debt? That's NUTS! Seriously, someone doesn't have their head screwed on straight.

 

I agree that some would be well served to wait. I think it's nuts that they have to wait to 24...truly, crazy. But, after putting one into college and now starting the process all over again with child two, CRAZY is the name of the game. However, I haven't found any avenue for changing it. A gap year or two can be very valuable for a lot of 17/18 year olds. A six year gap is tough, truly tough.

 

This may implode on the policy makers eventually. At some point the economy, stagnating wages, shrinking investments, and inflation are going to take it's toll and the number of full-time students in the pool of applicants will go down - that is what needs to happen. The pool of people willing to go in crazy debt must go down and the schools that are doing more with merit aid, work study, etc. need to snap up as many of those students as possible. That's a game changer. Faced with the reality that parents making $50,000.00 a year cannot write checks for $25,000 a year for college, nor qualify for the loans to do so, and may not be willing to sign for the loans they do qualify for, might bring some sanity back to the system. Right now colleges have far too many parents YET who are willing to take on an insane amount of debt for their kids to go to college and too many students who haven't been taught the first thing about finances and credit. So they apparently can't do the math and foresee a problem with having $75 - $100K in non-subsidized loans for a career path in which they may only make $35,00 or 40,000 the first year or three while they are "green behind the ears" and do not have enough experience to bargain for pay raises and promotions.

 

The only loans Dh and I had for college were federally guaranteed or Stafford. These were low interest and small balances. We didn't struggle to pay them off and those degrees paid for themselves plus. I'm grateful that both our sets of parents did the hoop jumping so we could make it through...though I'm willing to admit I don't think it was a nutty in the 80's as it is now so maybe their angst was far less.

 

Faith

[MeaganS]

I haven't read all the posts, but I wanted to gripe about our situation. As I've mentioned before, my dh is currently in his third year attending medical school. Regardless of the fact that he is 28 years old and we have been married for many years and have three children, we still have to get all of his parent's financials yearly, including how much they have in property, income, paid in taxes, and investments. It is amazingly ridiculous and incredibly awkward to have to do this every year. "So MIL, how much did FIL earn this year? How much did your house cost?" Bleh! We asked, and apparently for medical school at least, there is no limit on age. If my dh was 45, he'd still have to get this information from his parents. I don't know how they get away with it, but there is nothing right about it in my minds. In order to apply for any government loans, we have to fill out that stuff. This should be illegal, it seems to me.

[Murphy101]

Meh. I think it takes a lot more than refusing to give their financial information to someone to make a parent "truly awful."

 

That's not even on my radar as a ballpark qualifier.

 

*shrug*

 

 

[Jane in NC]

From my family perspective, financial aid was viewed as welfare (shame) and debt for classes was viewed as foolish.

 

If you couldn't do it on your own, then you shouldn't expect family to help unless it was a crisis of some sort.

 

I don't think anyone viewed it as hiding anything. It simply wasn't discussed bc it was rude and not other people's business. Why would two adults share their income info would be just as baffling a question to them.

Perhaps this ties into why some families have a culture that includes college while others seem ambivalent toward it?

 

As noted earlier, my parents did not discuss money with my sibling and me. They did fill out the financial aid forms but they never shared that information with me as I do with my son. They never educated me on finances except to say that Debt is Evil.

 

My husband's mother was always very straight forward with her kids about finances and financial instruments. As she aged and needed help, she was clear in telling her kids that she had the finances to pay for her home assistance. In fact, I know as much as I do about investments because of my mother in law who decided to educate me on the subject.

 

I truly never knew where my parents stood financially after retirement until after my Mom died. My father has been forthcoming fortunately. For years I wondered if the money that I was saving for college would be needed to assist my parents in their final years.

[Murphy101]

Good grief Meagan. That's just nuts.

 

And I agree Faith. I think we will see a much needed college bubble bust.

[Murphy101]

I'm sure it's a factor, Jane. Neither of my parents were academically educated, so in their view, it was a luxury not just the next step for 18 year olds. My dad in particular didn't and never has associated being educated with a degree or being financially better off with a degree. Too many examples refuting it for him. ;)

[Arcadia]

My parents didn't discuss money with me. I learned..the hard way. I was so incredibly clueless about everything. And I'm not a stupid person. But I simply was never taught anything about money.

This is off-topic but a reply to the above.

 

What we found different in the states was that elementary school kids take the school bus and the lunch money was pre-loaded into their account. Back home, kids as young as 3 would have learnt how to dole out the correct fare to the public bus ticket collector to get to preschool. We have a coin pouch/wallet with lunch money to pay for our recess and lunch. I would have to let my parents know every time the school canteen/cafeteria's food prices went up or I won't have enough for lunch.

 

Teaching our children financial management does not mean having to let them know the exact figures on the W2 and bank statements.

 

When I told my kids that the payroll tax increase by 2% so we take home less money, my 7 year old asked if that means that he gets a reduction of 2% in allowance (he even calculated the reduction for me). So kids do understand cash flow and finances without exact numbers. My 8 year old understands compound interest and certficates of deposits. He also have a basic understanding of amortization of home loans.

[Scarlett]

Well, this thread has inspired a conversation with my ds12 this morning. :) We talked about how much it costs to live....I shared with him how much I have spent since pay day 4 days ago ($525 not counting the bills---just counting grocery/eating out/fuel/ misc) He insisted that amount is so much because there are 3 (sometimes 4) of us here. So we walked through 'living' for a young adult making minimum wage and blessed with a car with no payment. He quickly saw that he couldn't make it. Seriously, no luxuries...except a $30 cell phone and yet there would not be enough money to be able to pay the '4 walls' bills and eat.

 

So that went off onto a path for becoming educated enough to make a decent living...:) It was quite an interesting morning. He seems to have a new appreciation for this paid for fixer that we are living in. :)

[Jane in NC]

I am sure one of the reasons my parents did not discuss money with me is because they didn't want to worry me. So I do understand that. I still think there are ways to discuss money without burdening someone with every gory detail though.

But kids can be clued into the cost of utilities. I regularly post that this is a great lesson for young children. Let them compute the median and mean electric bill for the last couple of years and create a histogram. Let them analyze your water usage--why is it higher at certain times of year? How much gas is being used by carting little Johnny to soccer practice? Miles per gallon is the usual computation but that can be translated into cents per mile--or dollars per drive to the soccer fields.

This is off-topic but a reply to the above. What we found different in the states was that elementary school kids take the school bus and the lunch money was pre-loaded into their account. Back home, kids as young as 3 would have learnt how to dole out the correct fare to the public bus ticket collector to get to preschool. We have a coin pouch/wallet with lunch money to pay for our recess and lunch. I would have to let my parents know every time the school canteen/cafeteria's food prices went up or I won't have enough for lunch. Teaching our children financial management does not mean having to let them know the exact figures on the W2 and bank statements. When I told my kids that the payroll tax increase by 2% so we take home less money, my 7 year old asked if that means that he gets a reduction of 2% in allowance (he even calculated the reduction for me). So kids do understand cash flow and finances without exact numbers. My 8 year old understands compound interest and certficates of deposits. He also have a basic understanding of amortization of home loans.

 

Yes! I used to pay the game Payday with my son and had him compute percents.

[SKL]

This is off-topic but a reply to the above.

 

What we found different in the states was that elementary school kids take the school bus and the lunch money was pre-loaded into their account. Back home, kids as young as 3 would have learnt how to dole out the correct fare to the public bus ticket collector to get to preschool. We have a coin pouch/wallet with lunch money to pay for our recess and lunch. I would have to let my parents know every time the school canteen/cafeteria's food prices went up or I won't have enough for lunch.

 

 

I had the brilliant idea of sending my kids to school with two weeks' milk money in a pill box, 35c for each day. Unfortunately, I had to stop this, because their "late room" teacher kept "helping" them to rearrange it into 50c portions so they could buy snacks after school (which I did not authorize). Ugh. It's a shame that our culture doesn't even consider the possibility of kids managing money.

 

When I was a kid, not only did kids pay their own bus fare and handle lunch money etc., we were encouraged to get jobs such as paper routes to have the experience of managing money (or mismanaging it, in my case, but learning from my mistakes). Nowadays the common wisdom is that kids are too stupid to deliver papers, babysit, or do pretty much anything else that has actual economic value outside their own family. It's kind of scary to think they have to learn all these things as adults.

[karenmb]

People on this thread are saying "well I just don't get why you'd want to keep that information private." Nobody should have to come up with a reason that someone else finds legitimate to keep *their own business* to themselves. I grew up in a culture that insisted on college, and everyone did the FAFSA. I expect to have to disclose all my financial information for my kids, and I feel bad for people whose parents choose differently. But the situation is ridiculous. I don't see the point in namecalling people who are well within their rights in saying no, I am not disclosing my personal private info to help a legal adult over whom I have no control and who has no legal responsibilities to me. Yeah, that is jerky behavior under the circumstances, but the circumstances are insane. Either people should be minors until 24, or people should be applying for aid independently.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Meh. I think it takes a lot more than refusing to give their financial information to someone to make a parent "truly awful."

 

That's not even on my radar as a ballpark qualifier.

 

*shrug*

 

 

Parents can be truly awful for many reasons. Screwing with someone's life for no reason qualifies in my book.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

People on this thread are saying "well I just don't get why you'd want to keep that information private." Nobody should have to come up with a reason that someone else finds legitimate to keep *their own business* to themselves. I grew up in a culture that insisted on college, and everyone did the FAFSA. I expect to have to disclose all my financial information for my kids, and I feel bad for people whose parents choose differently. But the situation is ridiculous. I don't see the point in namecalling people who are well within their rights in saying no, I am not disclosing my personal private info to help a legal adult over whom I have no control and who has no legal responsibilities to me. Yeah, that is jerky behavior under the circumstances, but the circumstances are insane. Either people should be minors until 24, or people should be applying for aid independently.

 

 

You cannot see why it is requested? Really?

[SKL]

Maybe, to help those whose parents won't give this info to help their kids get financial aid, the government should just provide the dang numbers to the university. It should be easy enough to do.

[Murphy101]

It's not screwing with their life. That's a bit dramatic.

 

They can still go. Or they can work full time. Or many other options.

 

Not getting parental help or papers for college at 18 is not some sort of death sentence.

[Murphy101]

Or schools should base it on the individual students ability to attend. Which makes a lot more sense.

[Murphy101]

I handled all my own money and expenses from age 12 on. I made money babysitting or whatever and that's what I used for lunch money, shoes, whatever. I learned how to manage money just fine without knowing about my parents finances.

 

I wish someone had told me how evil debt can be as a young adult. But truth told I doubt I'd have listened anyways. Most don't.

[SKL]

Or schools should base it on the individual students ability to attend. Which makes a lot more sense.

 

 

Well, the problem is that a lot of people will lie about the fact that their family is helping them (or would be willing and able to help them if the subsidy wasn't available to them).

 

I guess we could just make higher education government-funded for all, like some countries do. (Though I am sure there are lots of issues with that.) Because realistically, left to their own individual finances, very few young adults would go to college. And we'd have to import even more professionals from overseas.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

It's not screwing with their life. That's a bit dramatic.

 

They can still go. Or they can work full time. Or many other options.

 

Not getting parental help or papers for college at 18 is not some sort of death sentence.

 

It isn't a death sentence, but holding a young person back from higher education because the parent doesn't want to complete the FAFSA is certainly screwing with their life.

And good luck finding full time work at age 18 that will let you attend a top university full time.

 

[Murphy101]

I don't think it's anyone's business if their family helps them or not.

 

I think the expectation that parents are helping inflates the costs.

 

And I think if a kid left to his own devices wouldn't go than his parents shouldn't push him either.

[Murphy101]

So they won't go to a top university. Big whoop. So they can't go full time. Big whoop.

 

If that's the biggest whines and reasons for not going to college at all, then frankly the problem isn't their parents. It's that they are whiners who don't really want a college degree.

[Scarlett]

It isn't a death sentence, but holding a young person back from higher education because the parent doesn't want to complete the FAFSA is certainly screwing with their life.

And good luck finding full time work at age 18 that will let you attend a top university full time.

 

 

Top University? Since when is that required for a happy productive life. I just had this conversation with my 12 yo this morning...I encouraged him to get a useful degree as quickly as possible as close to home as possible so that I can help him with expenses. I want him to come out with as little debt as possible with the skills to make a living.

[Scarlett]

It isn't a death sentence, but holding a young person back from higher education because the parent doesn't want to complete the FAFSA is certainly screwing with their life.

And good luck finding full time work at age 18 that will let you attend a top university full time.

 

 

I'm somewhere between you and Martha on this though....I don't think it is the worst thing ever....but I just don't understand parents who don't do all they can to help their kids help themselves. Especially when they could apparently fill it out for the kids and keep kids from seeing the numbers.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

 

 

Top University? Since when is that required for a happy productive life. I just had this conversation with my 12 yo this morning...I encouraged him to get a useful degree as quickly as possible as close to home as possible so that I can help him with expenses. I want him to come out with as little debt as possible with the skills to make a living.

 

 

Who said it was required? But when a parent prevents it simply by denying financial INFORMATION, then yes, they are a rotten person and they screwing with their child's life for no reason.

 

This has nothing to do with whatever advice you give your son.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

So they won't go to a top university. Big whoop. So they can't go full time. Big whoop.

 

If that's the biggest whines and reasons for not going to college at all, then frankly the problem isn't their parents. It's that they are whiners who don't really want a college degree.

 

The reality is that there are very few jobs that allow an 18 year old to earn enough money to pay for a full time college education. That doesn't make them whiners.

[SKL]

I could understand not providing financial support (as in, writing a check) to send your kid to college. But providing the info necessary for him to take out an educational loan if he chooses to is different. I tend to agree that it's kind of mean to refuse to provide the info. Refusing to co-sign on a loan (which my parents had to do for me to attend) would be different again. If you didn't fully trust your adult offspring to apply himself, and didn't want to be stuck with the bill, I could see saying no to that.

 

The whole point of the student loan program is to get rid of some of the barriers to entry that would otherwise ensure that only spoiled rich kids get a competitive education. I am not a socialist by any stretch, but I think that's a reasonable goal. I also think we need incentives for people to get better educated so that we are competitive in the world economy. It's not just an individual issue.

 

I do, however, agree that the cost of education is way inflated by the easy availability of funds. Maybe we should make smaller loans and expect young adults to work at least part-time. That's what was done when I was young.

[SKL]

For the record, I had $85,000 in loans when I graduated in 1992. That was a lot in those days, unless you were a doctor (I did law/MBA). It was hard as a young adult to service that amount, much of which was at 12% interest for a while. However, I don't really regret it. (I probably should have chosen a different law school, but would still have had a good-sized debt.) I was so overwhelmed with debt that I learned to be an extreme money manager and ended up with zero debt and a nest egg within about 10 years after graduating.

 

Part of being brought up in the US economy is knowing that sometimes you have to take a risk if you want a return. As a parent, I would not prevent my adult child from doing this (assuming it's done legally), but whether I'd bankroll it would be decided on a case by case basis.

[Jane in NC]

I don't think it's anyone's business if their family helps them or not.

 

I think the expectation that parents are helping inflates the costs.

 

And I think if a kid left to his own devices wouldn't go than his parents shouldn't push him either.

 

Hold on now. Was the issue whether or not the family is helping the student financially? I thought that the discussion point was whether it was appropriate for parents to reveal financial information to the student and/or the college in order for the student to qualify for financial aid.

 

Is it anyone's business? Probably not, but we could dismiss almost every discussion that happens on the boards (curriculum preferences, dinner choices, movie reviews) by saying that it is no one's business. A valid question was asked on the release of financial information. I chose to answer to share my experience.

[lea_lpz]

My parents never did it either. Many parents don't. And I don't think they should have to either. Grown adults shouldn't need some other persons financial records to do anything. It's ridiculous.

 

But if you don't play the game, they don't play either until they are 24.

 

Your choice.

 

 

 

Couldn't agree more, but I personally would be fine sharing finances with my kids or for financial aid, but I don't think financial aid should require parents income because not all parents, even wealthy ones will help foot the bill.