Down_the_Rabbit_Hole Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 so you have time to *insert whatever here* " This was said twice to me in the past two weeks by my oldest two sons. I do believe disownment might be in their futures. Quote
Scarlett Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Well I AM a housewife so I am not insulted. However, dh about fell over from shock when he told my ds12 he was going to start making him pay money if he couldn't remember to take his plate to the sink and ds said, "that is moms job". Yeah, so ds has been washing dishes since then. Quote
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Well, I am a SAHM and a home educator - wife and mother. I am not married to my house (and it shows) so I do not consider myself a housewife. And I am training my kids to take over my responsibilities so that I can have time to do other things - like be ready for a 2nd career when the time comes - 4 or 5 years. Quote
elegantlion Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 (HUGS) If one still lived at home, he would cease receiving all the benefits of said "housewife", then there would be words with dh, who would probably take said ds for a long drive (with no means of escape from the talking to that would take place). We have a "houselife" here - that means we all live here and pitch in when/where necessary. There is no damn housewife - not in that sense. Quote
Lara in Colo Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I really dislike it that everyone assumes you sit around waiting for people to need you. People get offended when you say no to : being their ride to and from the airport ride to the hospital/dr appt shopping for ???? in the middle of the day last minute babysitting for sick child My husband is the worst--- he wants me to drop x bill (that he drives by EVERY morning!!!) Lara Quote
Ewe Mama Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Send them over. I have a barn that needs mucking out. Quote
milovany Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Good timing -- today is the feast day for St. Juliana of Lazarevo (who also happens to be my patron saint and who is the patron saint of housewives/homemakers). May her prayers make us all better keepers at home! And :blink: to the comment, LOL. Quote
KrissiK Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 When people (or I have to write down my occupation) I say, "I am a homemaker!" because that is what I am. I like the way Dr. Phil put it once referring to his and his wife's roles, he said, "I make the living and my wife makes our lives worth living" or something like that. OK, maybe I got it all wrong. But, it's something like, maybe he brings home the money, but the wife is the one who creates the home and sustains a homelife that is nurturing and all that stuff. You know, it sounded so much better when it was a vague concept floating around in my head. Quote
jujsky Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I would expect this comment from other people, but not my kids. They know how much I do. Also, as a homeschooling mom I am NOT "just" a housewife. Quote
Halftime Hope Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 so you have time to *insert whatever here* " This was said twice to me in the past two weeks by my oldest two sons. I do believe disownment might be in their futures. Yep, I've heard that once. After talking with dh, we pointed out to said young person that I worked twice as hard as he did (among other things, we get up 4 hours before his feet hit the ground), and that for the next week, he would be responsible for all the homemaking activities of the house, and I would concentrate solely on my full-time responsibility of being an educator and I would have my leisure time back for anything I wanted it for, rather than using it for the benefit of the family. This little speech was accompanied by a list of the day-to-day activities that that the young person would be assuming in my place, and we pointed out that we didn't ask him to do the long-term tasks or strategic jobs, just the day-to-day things for the week.) Once the week was over, the young person was not particularly grateful to me, but I do think that he understood how much I had done to make his life much, much nicer, and he clearly understood how much leisure time he had compared to his dad and I. And mind you, we've always been a family that shares the work, it's not as though I'm doing it all alone, but that young person just didn't "get it." He does now, and I hope it will pay off when he marries. If you have support from your husband, I would give them a list of things to do for you. Quote
Forget-Me-Not Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 "You do not live in a restaurant and/or a hotel" are phrases that are uttered often (by me). What's for dinner is what's for dinner, you help with prep and clean-up at meals, and you keep your stuff picked up. There are no waitresses or maids here. And if you dare to say to me, "That's not MY mess!" you'll be very sorry for it :D Quote
Remudamom Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I'm a housewife (among many other things) but my boys better not talk to me like that. I'm not a personal servant. Quote
Guest Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 If any kid made that remark to me, I would drop-kick them into next week. Fortunately, they are already super-clear that I don't exist for their entertainment purposes. :coolgleamA: Quote
*Inna* Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Whooo-boy. That would send me over the edge. Thankfully no one ever told me that. Yet. Quote
J-rap Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I used to cringe when I saw the word "housewife" as an option to choose on various forms, realizing I was supposed to "check" that occupation from the given list. Sometimes I'd check teacher or educator instead. As years go by, I don't really care anymore. I am the parent at home who takes care of the children, the home, the education, and so much more, but -- whatever. I do prefer the word homemaker. Maybe home manager would be an even better way of wording it? Quote
LucyStoner Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I think those boys now have more chores- their own laundry, everyone's dishes etc. Quote
Crimson Wife Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 "I'm not your maid/personal chef/chauffeur/etc, I'm your mother. And as your mother, I'm telling YOU to ________" gets uttered frequently in my house. Quote
Parrothead Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 I think those boys now have more chores- their own laundry, everyone's dishes etc. Yup. Whatever they asked for will become their job to do. You know, so I have more time to sit around eating bon-bons. Quote
Dustybug Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Well I AM a housewife so I am not insulted. However, dh about fell over from shock when he told my ds12 he was going to start making him pay money if he couldn't remember to take his plate to the sink and ds said, "that is moms job". Yeah, so ds has been washing dishes since then. I love this. I would die if one of my children ever says this to me. Then I would take 1-2 weeks completely OFF from "mom's job" and make the kid do it. Yeesh. Quote
Cosmos Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 so you have time to *insert whatever here* " This does sound presumptuous, but I do think there is some truth to it. I work hard at my responsibilities as homemaker and home educator but, while I don't necessarily have *more time* than others, my time is more flexible. I take over a lot of the chores at our house that require flexible timing -- standing in line to pay the car registration, taking the car for repair and maintenance, arranging to be at home for the furnace company, etc. I make most necessary phone calls, and I also am able to do more volunteer work than dh can. *shrug* It's just a fact of life. My dh appreciates that I am able to do these things for the family -- it's one of the perks of having a stay-at-home parent IMO. I don't like being *told* I have time to do something because I am not employed outside the home (or because I "only have one child" -- another popular line), and if my child said that to me, I'd talk about how it sounds and feels to me. But I wouldn't be at offended if he said, "Would you mind doing xyz for me?" because his schedule is full with work/school/sports/etc. We're a family and help each other out and it's true that my schedule is probably the most flexible one in the household. Quote
cathmom Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I remember when my oldest was in school in first grade and I was a SAHM with his baby sister. He said to me excitedly, " Daddy has the day off and I have the day off and you...you always have the day off!" I sat him down and said sternly and clearly, "what do I do?" He answered, "take care of baby sister." "is there ever a day she doesn't need taken care of???" "No." "So do I ever have the day off?" "No." "Right, and don't you forget it!" Quote
KungFuPanda Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Nope. NOT a housewife. I'm only home because I have a child at home. If I was childless, I'd be working. If my kids were in school, I'd be working. I'm not home to be anyone's maid. Quote
Unicorn. Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 so you have time to *insert whatever here* " This was said twice to me in the past two weeks by my oldest two sons. I do believe disownment might be in their futures. Me thinks you need to go on a nice long vacation. Perhaps a cruise. And the older boys can stay home and take over ALL of your responsibilities. Hurry, before army-boy has to leave! Quote
Reya Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Thank them for volunteering to take over a task that takes the same amount of time as what you supposedly have time for. :) Havie them do it for a week or so. Quote
TXMomof4 Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 I remember when my oldest was in school in first grade and I was a SAHM with his baby sister. He said to me excitedly, " Daddy has the day off and I have the day off and you...you always have the day off!" I sat him down and said sternly and clearly, "what do I do?" He answered, "take care of baby sister." "is there ever a day she doesn't need taken care of???" "No." "So do I ever have the day off?" "No." "Right, and don't you forget it!" Dh explained to me exactly once that he couldn't do something because he was "on vacation". Exactly once. Of course, the ceiling was singed from my head exploding that once..... Quote
Impish Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Wow. I'd be seriously ticked off if one of my kids spoke to me that way. And then they'd be doing a whole lot of chores, etc. One thing for a kid to ask me to do something...another to demand it. Quote
FaithManor Posted January 3, 2013 Posted January 3, 2013 Well I AM a housewife so I am not insulted. However, dh about fell over from shock when he told my ds12 he was going to start making him pay money if he couldn't remember to take his plate to the sink and ds said, "that is moms job". Yeah, so ds has been washing dishes since then. God bless your DH! Mine did the exact same thing when the boys insisted on making extra work for me because they didn't think I had a "real job". Took the wind out of their sails. However, that's because I had to train dh when he was a young daddy. He took a personal day from work one time in order to do something...go fishing I think. I was totally supportive, but on some level jealous because we had three boys 3.5 and under plus our 9 year old dd, and frankly, my morning shower was the extent of my personal relaxation at that time! So, I made a comment that boy I wish I could have a vacation day. He made a sarcastic jab about not needing it because I didn't have a job...note that this is rather uncharacteristic of dh because A. he knows how hard I work and B. he's not one to minimize other people anyway. I know he was speaking from a position of recently suffering some HUGE stress load at work and really, desperately wanted to avoid the office so my position at a SAH parent suddenly looked a little blissful to him. So, the next Saturday and Sunday, I took a "vacation". I did not cook, I did not clean, I did not take care of children, I did not shop for groceries, I did not change one.single.diaper. I did not take a night feeding (I paid for that in what can be called VERY sore breasts Sunday morning and dh had a bewildered baby to get a bottle into, but he managed :D), etc. I went shopping for myself, read books, took naps, had a bubble bath, went to visit my mom without children in tow, did not make lesson plans for dd (we were homeschooling and I told dh it was his job that weekend to get all of her curriculum out and make plans while juggling the three ring circus of boys he'd produced!!!!), came and went as I pleased, etc. and every time he looked tired or forlorn, I reminded him that he wasn't doing a "real job". That took care of it! I kid you not, never was there a more supportive man ever in the world after that. He has "ZERO" patience for any man who has that attitude and will say so openly now. It just took a little "homeschooling" to help him "see the light". OP, you have a right to be righteously angry! Faith Quote
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