What do you do when you are burned out, and it just doesn't get better?

[Penelope]

Doing relaxed school for a while, taking time for self especially good diet and exercise, all the usual things that help aren't helping.

 

With napping toddler and baby, it would also be hard to send the older ones to school and interrupt the routine of the little ones.

 

The kids get disagreeable and argumentative with too much "relaxation" in our routine, but I am so tired of being the one to keep it all up and keep things together all. the. time. Last week we took off completely and it was such a relief to not have to prod them into schoolwork. Like, such a sense of relief, I wanted to cry when I thought about starting again. We were supposed to start back this morning (took some extra days earlier in December) and I just don't want to. I don't have it in me to get them going. I just want to play with and read to my little ones.

 

The oldest is in 5th, so it's not like I can just outsource a lot for him.

 

DH may be able to act as a tutor for one subject, but I'm not sure he would be strict enough about it, and we also run into time constraints due to extracurriculars.

 

I just want to take them all to the park and museums and let them play in the backyard.

[BugsMama]

So do that. Seriously. Just do it.

 

Surround the kids with good books. Get books on tape to play over breakfast. Purchase some sort of computer program math. And just let it go.

 

:grouphug:

[Faithr]

It will get better, you just have to have more patience than you thought and be more perseverent than you knew you had in you! Keep on keeping on! I speak from experience! The only way out of burn out is through it! Some advice: 1) don't start til you are emotionally ready to. 2). Think about what would energize you and bring you relief and make that a conscience part of your prep.

 

I too have a son who absolutely needs structure but resists it and I myself am an unschooler at heart. It is hard to reconcile all those things. What you are doing is hard! You have to prepare mentally for it. Also kids will always squabble. A friend of mine once told me she'd read some study that said siblings will bicker or squabble 6 times a day on average. So it might be that it isn't just the lack of structure but completely normal processes going on. Not that you don't have to deal constructively with the disagreeableness.

 

So do those things you want to with them and just introduce as much structure as you can honestly muster right now. Things will improve. When I am really weary I focus on bonding with the kids. Laughing together, having interesting conversations, doing something cozy and also doing something out of the norm. Read a lot of inspirational stuff. That helps me shift my perspective. I don't know if you pray but that helps me.

 

Hang in there!

[athena1277]

Here's my ideas, that may or may not work for you.

 

1. Can you cut some extracurriculars? Sometimes I feel better when all we have to do is schoolwork.

2. Do you have Quiet Time for all kids in the afternoon? If you don't, I would highly recommend it. Schedule it for when the littles nap. Once they adjust to it, you can nap, read, stare at the wall, or whatever you need to recharge. Quiet time has really helped me this year as dh has been working late a lot, leaving me to do nearly all the parenting.

3. Find a way for your dc to burn off some energy every day. I know my kids get in trouble a lot more when they need exercise.

 

Hope you can find out how to keep going. Burn out is hard.

[Mom-ninja.]

I pull up my big girl pants and force myself to suck it up. My days are hard. I have a dyslexic ds and a special needs ds and throw in a preschooler. Every day is hard. By evening I'm exhausted.

 

However, I consider this my job. I don't work outside the home. This is my job. It's my responsibility. I took this job on and I hate doing a half-way job. When my dh's job gets hard and he hates it he has to suck it up. That's what I remind myself.

 

I make sure I take my teach hat off at the end of lessons. I read that once here by a seasoned home schooler. It's imperative to take off your teacher hat! Evenings and weekends are mommy hat time.

 

I've been feeling burn out since the summer (we school year round) and it hasn't gotten better.

 

When I need help I ask. DH doesn't blink an eye if he comes home and dinner is not done. He just walks in and cooks. If the laundry needs to be folded I tell him so. If I need a few hours during the weekend on my own I tell him. I make sure I get little snatches of time to decompress. I also make sure to some fun things with the kids when we are not doing school.

 

All I say is keep on swimming.

[G5052]

Yup. Most of us battle that lovely sinking feeling in January, trust me. I remember sitting in a talk with Jessie Wise (SWB's mom) about 7 years ago or so, and she said that she felt like quitting almost every January. The rest is history.

 

I've been at this for over a decade, and have always juggled paid teaching gigs and homeschooled. So January is a big bummer because work and homeschooling both start up all at once...boom, boom, boom. At dinner I layed out the plan for getting the homeschool assignments done this week amid faculty meetings and the time I need to start the semester right for both my own children and my paid students. I basically won't come up for air again for a few weeks.

[lllll]

..

[Mandy in TN]

Your oldest is only in 5th? On the one hand, it is my inclination to say relax. After all Jan and Feb are big months for home school stress. On the other hand, I agree with others who have said that this is your job and unless you have found a replacement educator, traditional school or otherwise, you have to get on with it.

 

Maybe find a middle road and ramp up instead of starting all at once. Do a light few weeks adding in pieces each week. Go on some field trips one day each week for the rest of the month. Cut yourself and the kids some slack, but don't cut school altogether.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[Jilly]

I would sign them all up for Time4Learning which covers the basics. I would assign some independent reading in addition to the Time4Learning. Then I would take them to museums, the park, and let them play.

[Alte Veste Academy]

How is your health? Have you had a physical, including a thyroid check? When I was as exhausted as you sound, my thyroid was low. My vitamin D too. On top of that, my self-care wasn't what it should be.

 

Other than that, I would ask if you and the kids enjoy what you are using for school. Are you having any fun? I know some people say pbhhht on this issue but fun is important to me. Are you enjoying your kids during school? When you say you want to take them to the park and the museum, it sounds like you are thinking of that as either/or, but it's not. You can go to the park every day if you want. It can be a regular part of school. We go often, sometimes packing up some math, nature notebooks, journals, literature, etc. For Christmas, DH even outfitted my bike with a basket and pannier bag to carry supplies and snacks. You can also visit museums regularly.

 

Yes, you are responsible for educating your kids and "just do it" is sometimes necessary advice. In fact, I tend to get upset reading threads in which people talk about how they are "just not getting to school" and/or their kids are so far behind but they just can't pull it together. To those people, I would definitely agree with "just do it" as the main advice. But what you are saying and your tone are different. You just sound worn out. :grouphug:

 

Anyway, I also consider homeschooling the kids my job. And I love my job, probably because my philosophy is that the curricula we use needs to meet student/teacher needs 100/100, meaning that it needs to meet all of our needs 100%. So maybe look at what you are using and the flow of your days, then think of what changes might affect positive change. Maybe a morning meeting? Maybe snuggling in PJ's in bed in the morning with a good read-aloud? Maybe sideline a program that feels ho-hum and substitute something that would be a fun change? Maybe a tea time in the afternoon with poetry or character lessons?

 

And do give yourself a bit of grace with a toddler and baby. :)

[Penelope]

Thank you all so much for all the ideas, for the permission to have fun, and for the kick in the pants! :laugh: All in one thread, can't beat it. :) I think I needed to hear all these things.

 

Fortunately, my health is good. We are not at all behind. I do see this as my job and I know I'm not the only one to struggle. I know some have ittougher than I do and I (try to remember to) count my blessings. So we get school done, but the fun is definitely missing. Alte, you are right. We can go places. We can change things up. I usually do this time of year, I just need some impetus to do that. I'm taking some time tomorrow to talk with the kids and gather some ideas.

 

Thank you all for the encouragement.

[Halcyon]

I am right there with you. I am tired (could it be the flu that has been lingering for two weeks? Ugh.,) and as i said to my oldest yesterday while we were reviewing Latin declensions "I sometimes feel as though i am dragging a moose through mud" homeschooling him.

 

I am just TIRED of being the cheerleader. I do think it is this lingering illness, but really, i dont know. We are going to ease up today, finish reading the Hobbit, and listen to books on tape. (just subbed to audible). Then we will do some Ltin and writing and call it a day. Have work this afternoon so i need to save some energy.

[Halcyon]

Thank you all so much for all the ideas, for the permission to have fun, and for the kick in the pants! :laugh: All in one thread, can't beat it. :) I think I needed to hear all these things.

 

Fortunately, my health is good. We are not at all behind. I do see this as my job and I know I'm not the only one to struggle. I know some have ittougher than I do and I (try to remember to) count my blessings. So we get school done, but the fun is definitely missing. Alte, you are right. We can go places. We can change things up. I usually do this time of year, I just need some impetus to do that. I'm taking some time tomorrow to talk with the kids and gather some ideas.

 

Thank you all for the encouragement.

 

I think tomorrow we will do a field trip to the zoo. Good idea!

[skeeterbug]

I second the idea of a daily quiet time. It keeps me sane. I do not spend the time doing housework! I am on my bed resting too, sometimes with my 3yo next to me. I read, use the ipad, or sleep. Time it for baby's afternoon nap, have everyone be on their bed and quiet, then you rest too! There are some days I get out of bed counting the hours until rest time!

 

Many people upon finding out I hs comment that I must be so patient. Um, no. My kids drive me crazy sometimes! My sanity break is that daily rest time. It is hard to be the one making it all happen everyday. Hard to keep up that motivation or to even have the energy to keep going with schoolwork sometimes. I completely understand. Take a break from schooling for a little while and enjoy your kids.