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Can I just avoid my 2-year-old for the next couple years?


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Dear Hive


Lately I've observed that my children get along better when I'm not in the room. It's like when I'm there, they turn on the bickering to see whose side I'll take (and yes, I try really hard not to take a side). Also, my 2-year-old is going through what I can only hope is a stage, filled with intense and exhausting tantrums. But these tantrums don't seem to happen, at least not nearly as frequently or intensely, when the kids are playing in another room. How bad would it be if I just decided to avoid this child as much as possible for the next year or two, until he becomes a more tolerable 4-year-old?


The alternative is that I occasionally try to engage with these people, either by playing with their toys or playing a game or cooking or facilitating a craft or whatever. Lately it seems like every time I do one of those things, it results in breakdowns and fights, and I just walk away wondering why I even bother.



Slightly Joking, Slightly Serious

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Does it help or hurt to tell you that I could have written the same post about my 8 yr old? I think kids just plain sometimes go through difficult stages, and hopefully become more human on the other side. I think it really comes when they want more independence, but aren't quite sure how to get it, so toddlerhood is one part of it, and so is this moving from early childhood to middle childhood, from being a little kid to a big kid. I'm hoping DD's adjustment happens quickly-and hopefully, so will your 2 yr old's!

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DS4 was a very gifted tantrum thrower at age 2 and 3. Unless he's recovering from illness or a bad night of sleep, he's much more delightful now. DS3 throws *very few* tantrums, but just shouts random things to confuse me when he's mad. Like, "I can't blow my nose, because these tissues are expensive." Or, "Mommy, I'm cold and need whipped cream to warm up." It used to be funny, but the constant barrage of nonsense is starting to unravel my sanity.


They do get along better when I'm not within their line of sight, but since they end up working together to cause chaos, I'm not sure how much is gained.


2-4 are just about my favorite ages in the world. Send him to me. I'll put him on a pony and he won't have time to throw a fit.


I'd just about kill to have another toddler in my house.



Can I send mine, too? Better yet, open up a boarding preschool! Then mail me an enrollment form.

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