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The Family Virtues Guide? Or something else?


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We went through The Family Virtues Guide as a family a couple of years ago. I bought the book specifically because Popov's book Sacred Moments is one which I still refer to and am inspired by over ten years after I initially read it. I appreciate Popov's works because she gracefully shows that an individual and a family can be both moral and spiritual without being bound to a specific faith.

 

Did you have specific questions or concerns?

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Tammy, have you actually had a chance to read through the book?

 

I think the book would be difficult to use only from an atheist's perspective, because Popov does address the concepts of a personal "spirit" and a Creator, Founder, or whatever one chooses to call a presence larger than humanity. That said, she is not wedded to a particular doctrine or faith. You will find a quote from Luke under one virtue and then a quote from the Al-Qur'an in the next and then the Bhagavad-Gita after that. If you choose to share those quotes, your children will be exposed to a variety of wisdom literature from around the world.

 

The format of each lesson is as follows: a wisdom literature quote, a definition of the virtue, why one should practice it, how one could practice it, what it looks like in action, signs of whether one is being successful or not in practicing the virtue, and an affirmation. The section that asks for example, "What would being just look like if..." always generated a significant amount of discussion among my kids.

 

The first two chapters of the book offer solid parenting advice with a set of discussion exercises at the end of the book. If one does not operate in the parameters of a specific faith, those discussion exercises can help you articulate what you hope to pass on as a moral legacy to your children.

 

Perhaps I should ask what it is you are looking for before writing a response. :tongue_smilie:

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I don't consider myself atheist, more like agnostic. The rest of my family are more Christian.

 

I'm just looking for a book I can read aloud in the evenings, that will spark discussion and allow us to discuss how we can be more kind, respectful, tactful, etc.

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I don't consider myself atheist, more like agnostic. The rest of my family are more Christian.

 

I'm just looking for a book I can read aloud in the evenings, that will spark discussion and allow us to discuss how we can be more kind, respectful, tactful, etc.

 

This would be an apt description for my family at the time we used the book. We tend to run along the lines of "karmic," preferring to send good out into the world, and believing that prayers or well-directed wishes do not fall into a void. I think I wanted our kids to know how to recognize what is "right" and to understand why it would be a desirable path for its own sake, not because one is afraid of punishment or because you are told it is the path and it is not your place to question the path nor is it within your ability to understand the path. One of my children rejects most arguments constructed along those lines and I needed a better way to discuss "virtues" with him.

 

What I liked about the "What does it look like" scenarios is that they involve different depths for the virtue. For example, with loyalty, you would talk about a friend trying to turn you against another friend, believing in your faith and someone making fun of it, and someone telling you that if you were a true friend, you would lie for them. There is a lot of food for discussion. I honestly the Popov's had a book for families with older children.

 

Anyway, good luck with your search. For me, these sessions involved about an hour at most at one shot. It was enough to have a good discussion without burning anyone out.

 

I was hoping you would get other suggestions. There may be more sophisticated choices now.

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This would be an apt description for my family at the time we used the book. We tend to run along the lines of "karmic," preferring to send good out into the world, and believing that prayers or well-directed wishes do not fall into a void. I think I wanted our kids to know how to recognize what is "right" and to understand why it would be a desirable path for its own sake, not because one is afraid of punishment or because you are told it is the path and it is not your place to question the path nor is it within your ability to understand the path. One of my children rejects most arguments constructed along those lines and I needed a better way to discuss "virtues" with him.

 

What I liked about the "What does it look like" scenarios is that they involve different depths for the virtue. For example, with loyalty, you would talk about a friend trying to turn you against another friend, believing in your faith and someone making fun of it, and someone telling you that if you were a true friend, you would lie for them. There is a lot of food for discussion. I honestly the Popov's had a book for families with older children.

 

Anyway, good luck with your search. For me, these sessions involved about an hour at most at one shot. It was enough to have a good discussion without burning anyone out.

 

I was hoping you would get other suggestions. There may be more sophisticated choices now.

 

 

Lisa - thank you! Yes, I agree with everything you said. I prefer to live by the mantra of "be nice, do good because it's the right thing to do, not because I said so, or the Bible said so, or someone else thinks you should". I'm probably not explaining it correctly, because even "it's the right thing to do" isn't what I'm trying to convey exactly, but you probably understand what I'm saying. Similar to how I never like the phrase "because I said so. :)

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