Jump to content

Menu

Gonna give her *&%%*! work boxes back...


Recommended Posts

In Sept. my oldest dd comes to me and says "you know I am in middle school now"

 

I swear the whole world went skidding into slow motion for a minute :scared:

 

Sure enough half her friends were in the middle school year. We don't keep close track of grades just sort of plug along so I had not really thought about it.

 

She determinedly announced she was too big to have me "hovering" around and too big to need work boxes and to be read to and she could just do her work on her own! She wanted a schedule and for me to butt out. Despite finally having a really successful year with her last year I told her ok. (I know dumb to listen to the 11 and a half year old.)

 

Guess how all that has gone? :smilielol5:

 

She has been getting work done though its minimal and I have to redirect her A LOT!

 

So now its Christmas and she comes to me and she is "sad"...I don't l care about her...I don't give her any attention. I am mean and took her cool boxes away. Everyone else gets boxes and she just gets boring stuff. (its the same stuff the have in the boxes!) All I do is nag and I wont read to her anymore...sigh. It is not like I was ignoring the kid!

 

I am guessing this is normal moody girls stuff , but she is driving me up a wall.

 

Being all said she is very distracted like her adhd Dad and the boxes kept me from nagging her all day long (ok I had to nag but not like now!)

 

So I guess I am going to start setting her work back in workboxes. At least that helps keep her on track.

 

Not sure how to handle the "push me-pull you" independence stuff.

It was a big jump in workload/ expectations this year. Maybe it was to much to try and let her push independence at the same time as increasing work.

 

Tell me using the boxes is not a totally age inappropriate crutch?

 

argh another coughing fit ..got to go!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In Sept. my oldest dd comes to me and says "you know I am in middle school now"

 

I swear the whole world went skidding into slow motion for a minute :scared:

 

Sure enough half her friends were in the middle school year. We don't keep close track of grades just sort of plug along so I had not really thought about it.

 

She determinedly announced she was too big to have me "hovering" around and too big to need work boxes and to be read to and she could just do her work on her own! She wanted a schedule and for me to butt out. Despite finally having a really successful year with her last year I told her ok. (I know dumb to listen to the 11 and a half year old.)

 

Guess how all that has gone? :smilielol5:

 

She has been getting work done though its minimal and I have to redirect her A LOT!

 

So now its Christmas and she comes to me and she is "sad"...I don't l care about her...I don't give her any attention. I am mean and took her cool boxes away. Everyone else gets boxes and she just gets boring stuff. (its the same stuff the have in the boxes!) All I do is nag and I wont read to her anymore...sigh. It is not like I was ignoring the kid!

 

I am guessing this is normal moody girls stuff , but she is driving me up a wall.

 

Being all said she is very distracted like her adhd Dad and the boxes kept me from nagging her all day long (ok I had to nag but not like now!)

 

So I guess I am going to start setting her work back in workboxes. At least that helps keep her on track.

 

Not sure how to handle the "push me-pull you" independence stuff.

It was a big jump in workload/ expectations this year. Maybe it was to much to try and let her push independence at the same time as increasing work.

 

Tell me using the boxes is not a totally age inappropriate crutch?

 

argh another coughing fit ..got to go!

 

 

I'm sorry you're having to deal with a moody 11 1/2 yo. I have one as well.

 

I think you should go back to the workboxes. We were in the opposite situation. We just started using them this year and it improved EVERYTHING! Before that we were using binders and it was awful. I think kids need that type of direction throughout middle school.

 

Take care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:smilielol5: I can SO RELATE. My oldest is in the same age category. We have a weekly time to review things & talk about what is working & what she needs extra help with. (This is so she can't complain that I never just sit & listen to her because I'm always paying attention to the others.) She wanted a schedule where she could cross things off & do them when she wanted to do them.

 

It took me about an hour to do the first week. After that, it was quicker & easier. I started to like it.

 

It only took a few weeks before she said I didn't have to do them anymore because she didn't like them. :sad: (When we work on our regular schedule & we don't get to something (because of other-kid-distractions), we just move it to the next day's work. When it was on her schedule, the expectation was that she could complete all her work. She disliked how goofing off all morning meant she was working until 8 at night to get her assignments done.)

 

IMO, if using the boxes gets the work done, it is completely age appropriate & downright awesome. :thumbup:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am using workboxes with 8th and 10th graders, and my friend has used them all the way through high school. It also helps me as a teacher to have their work so well organized. Here's pictures & how I use them with older kids. I don't think of them as a crutch at all--I think it helps students to see how to break work down into incremental parts, and that it helps them to be organized. And I've seen my kids take some of the organizational concepts into other areas of their lives too, so I think they are learning by using them, not being held back by them.

 

As for the pushing/pulling stuff...that's pretty normal for this age too. I've learned to ask more questions when they want to make changes, to see if it's what they *really* want, and also to assign a trial period if it's a big change. (((Hugs))) to you!

 

Merry :-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks guys!

 

Merry, what a great link! It good to see how things evolved for your older kids.

 

clarkacademy, I have 2 boys already you can keep yours ...and now dd wants to know how come we don't do Harry potter school...Gotta quit looking at blogs when she is in the room! :D

 

RootAnn, i love your comment now I want a t-shirt that says I'm " completely age appropriate & downright awesome" ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We use workboxes and dd12 swears she could not survive without them. Now the big difference is she is in control of them. I print her a daily schedule each morning. Everything is on her shelves and she simply gets everything placed into a separate workbox. Then she is set. I still mostly do it for dd9 althought she likes to do things like big sis alot!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am using workboxes with 8th and 10th graders, and my friend has used them all the way through high school. It also helps me as a teacher to have their work so well organized. Here's pictures & how I use them with older kids. I don't think of them as a crutch at all--I think it helps students to see how to break work down into incremental parts, and that it helps them to be organized. And I've seen my kids take some of the organizational concepts into other areas of their lives too, so I think they are learning by using them, not being held back by them.

 

As for the pushing/pulling stuff...that's pretty normal for this age too. I've learned to ask more questions when they want to make changes, to see if it's what they *really* want, and also to assign a trial period if it's a big change. (((Hugs))) to you!

 

Merry :-)

 

 

I love the pictures of your workboxes. And the explanation of how you used them with older students was great.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wouldn't blame the behavior on being "moody." She's a child, and she thought she knew what she wanted because, you know, she's a child and doesn't know anything yet. She has figured out that she doesn't actually know what is best for her, but she can't express it well because she's a child. :-)

 

I had a push-me/pull-you relationship with my younger dd from the time she was 2yo. o_0 I wish I had done more pushing, but now that she's 35yo, we're all good, lol. Anyway, I wouldn't blame the behavior on age, either. Often we just need to deal with the situation and *not* blame it on age or hormones or anything else, because that can become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

 

:-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When you re-set up the boxes, I would frame it differently than you have and she has. She took initiative and asked you to try something. You responded both tried it. It didn't work. She evaluated it and realized she didn't like the new way and that the old way was better. It seems to me that *all* those things are excellent and appropriate. I would actually praise her for trying to step out on her own a little more and praise her even more for having realized basically on her own that the old system worked better for her. She knows herself as a learner. :) At least, that's what I would do. Even if it was her being moody and tweenish and fickle, nothing disastrous happened and I'd try to put a good spin on things to emphasize that you're a good listener and you respond to what she wants and that she has buy in for the way you do things. Good for you both!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just as an alternative, if she really doesn't like the workboxes, my student log book has worked really well for my independent one.

https://www.facebook.com/MyStudentLogbook

 

This is the video of how it works.

 

He loves it. It is kinda like a workbox in a book. He has things he likes do to with his free time, that he gets to do with his "independent" break. I just write everything in order. WWS, 15 min break, have a snack, Math 1, spelling (5 min break), Math 2, Latin, 1 hour off, have some lunch etc...

 

We have timers around the house that he sets for the breaks.

 

Hopefully the workboxes will work after the break, but if they don't, it is always nice to have another idea in your back pocket.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good point Ellie, sometime I get stuck on the "why" of a situation when I just need to deal with the situation!

 

The point about her being a child is true. And I think that is the problem because as farrarwilliams said she really does usually know herself as a learner that she is really mad at herself and well me.

 

Because she is just a kid and does not really have the skills to cope with being really wrong gracefully. Hey though I'm still working on being wrong gracefully

 

It has been a hard few months and for the first time in her life she has had several big choices turn out wrong and leaning to adjust is tricky.

 

I mean goodness not only is Mom not perfect she is not either!

 

I am just glad we are learning about all this though homeschooling and sports choices vs. other big bad world options ;)

 

Northwest mama I like you video, it gives me some brainstorming ideas...(ps got sunshine?)

 

Thanks all, Maggie Annie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did want dd to be more involved in her time management when she got to that age, so I started sitting down with her each weekend to look over the next week. I had a list of school that needed to be completed and we would discuss the coming week (appointments out, co-op classes, etc.). She would help me plan her work load each day accordingly. I think it felt like she had some control over it that way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Merry,

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. And thanks to the OP for getting me to rethink workboxes again.

 

One quick question on the velcro (which is one reason I didn't start way back when): How exactly do they work? I take it one side glues to the box and the other has an adhesive for your laminated # (or whatever). I would think that they wouldn't last long. Is there a simpler way to do this as I am not crafty, nor do I have a laminator. I do love the idea that the books stay in the box, so I'd like to use something similar.

 

Thanks,

Laura

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Laura We actually don't use the velcro numbers, i just have one set of numbers packing taped onto the boxes then use a laminated or sheet protected check list chart to dry/ wet erase the corresponding numbers and any other activites.

 

the dry erase worked better for us as any sort of velcro squares that my dc would be sure to lose the first day. (and did when we first tried WB's )

 

It is hard to explain but if you click the pictures to enlarge on this post

 

http://craftyincoffeeland.blogspot.com/2012/09/school-dazed.html

 

and squint a bit you can see the charts we use.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've just been reading Debra Bell's "ultimate guide to homeschooling your Teen" and she suggests taking the middle school years to teach your children independence step by step.

 

So in my mind, you and your daughter tried, and learned, and it was a good thing. On the other hand, I think you just went too far. Debra Bell suggests taking one area at a time and teaching independence.

 

My sons days of timers, and me telling him what to do every second will need to slowly draw to a close. I'm going to start with hygiene/morning routines, then chores, and then one school subject at a time. There will be deadlines, consequences and no reminders or nagging. It'll be hard for me and I'll have to learn as I go, but it's definitely time.

 

It's hard to relinquish control but it's important for their well being. Maturity is learned.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I haven't read all the responses, but let me commiserate with having an 11yo who thinks she knows what she wants in life. :p

 

My 11yo still uses work boxes. She occasionally likes to fill them herself in the evenings (with my help of course). That way she knows what is expected of her and she has some control over what order she does things. The days she fills her own work boxes seem to flow more smoothly than when I have filled the boxes... As I type I am thinking I should make it part her evening routine to load up her boxes--it's really a good way to offer her some control over her life without removing the support she still needs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

One quick question on the velcro (which is one reason I didn't start way back when): How exactly do they work? I take it one side glues to the box and the other has an adhesive for your laminated # (or whatever). I would think that they wouldn't last long. Is there a simpler way to do this as I am not crafty, nor do I have a laminator. I do love the idea that the books stay in the box, so I'd like to use something similar.

 

 

Here's a post from last year with my worboxes. http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/376058-those-homeschooling-3-or-more-kids-whats-your-system-i-need-suggestions/#entry3872101

 

I bought some Velcro "tape" kinda like this: http://www.amazon.com/Beige-Hook-Loop-Velcro-Style/dp/B003KWUSSY/ref=pd_bxgy_hg_img_z . It has a peel-off back so I stick one side to the work box, and the other side to my cards (cardtock covered with contact paper). Every so often the velcro that's attached to the work boxes comes off and I I need to stck a new piece on. I've also had to redo cards a few times, but they are pretty durable. I just have the kids throw their completed subject cards into the drawer, rather having a strip to stick numbers on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Merry,

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. And thanks to the OP for getting me to rethink workboxes again.

 

One quick question on the velcro (which is one reason I didn't start way back when): How exactly do they work? I take it one side glues to the box and the other has an adhesive for your laminated # (or whatever). I would think that they wouldn't last long. Is there a simpler way to do this as I am not crafty, nor do I have a laminator. I do love the idea that the books stay in the box, so I'd like to use something similar.

 

Thanks,

Laura

 

Hi Laura,

 

The velcro is so easy! I just bought velcro dots--literally peel and stick! Originally I had "velcro tape" which came on a big roll, and I just cut it into squares. That lasted more than 2 years & would still be up, I just wanted the look of the dots. I've had the dots for 1-2 years now, no signs of coming off or needing replacing. As for the laminated numbers, I had my square numbers for 2 or so years also. I changed to round numbers when I did the velcro dots, and got rid of pictures I used when they were younger. But the numbers were not wearing out, it was more a matter of me wanting to change them for aesthetic reasons.

 

You can get velcro dots at places like Walmart etc... Don't let that stop you at all!

 

Merry :-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When my youngest of four kids was ten, she was perfect. Really perfect, delightful to teach, helpful, thoughtful.... just really perfect. HOWEVER, I knew, the moment she turned ELEVEN, that would NO longer be the case. Having been shocked by that transition of sweet and carefree to mopey, with my oldest; amazed, when my second went through the morph from nice kid to rude and grumpy; slightly irritated when number three went from "class clown" to the-boy-who-must-constantly-cause-one-of-his-siblings-to-be-screaming..... well I was ready for D to turn 11. Sure enough... she did it with more flair than the rest of them put together. Daily chanting of "This is a phase. This is a phase. This is a phase." gave me the upper hand and empowered me. Really, don't make it a power struggle, imagine the hormones and such running amuck through her poor like body. The visual will help you take a deep breath and giggle a little... I mean gently guide her, to make good choices...

 

You've received lots of good practical advice... now go have some chocolate!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...