I hate money

[mommymilkies]

I am so very sick of being broke. Dh teaches ft as a tenured college lecturer/professor, but we still don't have benefits and we barely make ends meet. We live in a pretty low COL area, but food is expensive, and because of drought,our garden has failed two years running. I used to be a health care professional, but we moved and there were no jobs available in my field (we are very rural) and we have no family or church support here, so working would be nearly impossible. Now my certifications are expired and there are no jobs anyway. I can not even find kids to babysit for FREE. I have tried. Dh is not allowed to take on a second job (though he has time) because of his contract.

 

I have to laugh reading through lists of ways to save money-we almost never eat out, even taking food with us 90% of the time when we go out of town. There is no Starbucks here, so no daily coffees. We don't have cable and have cheap monthly cell phones. Internet is needed for hs and dh's work and it's $35 a month. We buy less than $300 of clothes a year for our family of 7, we rarely do "vacation" and even then, that just entails staying at family's house out of town and eating cheap fast food and taking groceries. I have child support that often unexpectedly stops for months, so that's not dependable anymore. Music is a top priority in my family, but we've been having to stop piano lessons for months at a time because we don't have the funds. Heck, we can't even afford to tune the piano.

 

I am just so sick of being broke. I would love to take my kids on a real vacation.or buy new coats for us. We have very generous family that gives us a ton-unasked for, they just are shoppers. I feel whiny complaining about all of this. I know there are many worse off than us.but it still sucks and I need to do something about it. I got slightly accustomed to having a little pocket money to buy things we need until this past year. It's been one financial disaster after another.

 

 

I don't even know what I'm asking. Commiseration? Ideas on how to dig out of this mess and do more than live week by week fearing another disaster? Anyone want to join me with accountability in the new year trying to get financially fit?

[Reya]

Sorry you're in a tight spot. With my local grocery stores, despite the insane COL here, I could feed your family for about $110 a week while still eating very well. If there's enough interest, I could do a virtual course on saving on groceries here. (I live near Washington, DC, and spend $50/week feeding my brood, and I could spend $35-40/week if I had to.)

 

Online tutoring is an option for getting more money, if you have the time. You can do that even in rural areas, which have fewer other decent employment options.

[mommymilkies]

We have such bad food allergies, that it's impossible to eat for that little. No gluten,peanuts, or cashews. Dh is sensitive to almonds. I've gotten our budget down to about $600 a month if we have a good money month. Last month we did $350 for the month and that was with rice and beans for almost every.single.meal. And that's with price matching and coupons for almost everything I bought.

 

I would do tutoring, but I'm 10 credits away from my B.S. and dh is legally not allowed to do so with his job.

[Mommy22alyns]

Commiseration here. I've had it with being broke.

[elegantlion]

BTDT,. Dh just started a new job 3 weeks ago, it's better pay and there will be benefits and after a few very long years things are looking up. We still only have one working car, lots of other little things I don't care to post, but I get it. It will take us months to get through the backlog of stuff.

 

We also have generous family and a lower cost of living, two things that have kept me sane. We also live in a rural area so I don't see a lot of things we might be missing.

 

I feel like I've been holding my breath since 2009, honestly. I'm not ready to let it all out yet. I'm wishing you a better 2013. :grouphug:

[Reya]

We do eat a lot of rice here because we like it.

 

Cashews are very expensive, anyway, and almonds are pricey, while peanuts aren't too expensive but aren't really a "budget" food, either, except as peanut butter.

 

I'd still easily average $100 less than what you're paying now, with our local grocery stores and prices.

 

I use coupons for select things. (Cereal!!!!) Mostly, I use circulars and other strategies.

 

Most online tutoring has exams that you pass to qualify to tutor that subject.

[mommymilkies]

Do you have links for the tutoring? I've only seen ones that didn't look legit.

 

I can not get my food budget down more. No pasta or bread or filler food other than rice, and I have a diabetic (type 1) dh so we have to try to keep his carbs down. We eat almost no meat. I only buy fruits & veggies on price matched. But gluten free does not work well with budgets. We only have a Walmart and an overpriced IGA. No Aldi's. feeding two males with hollow legs and high metabolism and family food restrictions is hard. The nuts are not just an issue in stuff, but cross contamination is an issue. So that further limits what I can buy. Right now we largely live off of on sale rice chex, rice, beans, bananas, carrots, and corn products-nachos, etc. where there is no price competition, it is harder to get food cheap.

[mommymilkies]

BTDT,. Dh just started a new job 3 weeks ago, it's better pay and there will be benefits and after a few very long years things are looking up. We still only have one working car, lots of other little things I don't care to post, but I get it. It will take us months to get through the backlog of stuff.

 

We also have generous family and a lower cost of living, two things that have kept me sane. We also live in a rural area so I don't see a lot of things we might be missing.

 

I feel like I've been holding my breath since 2009, honestly. I'm not ready to let it all out yet. I'm wishing you a better 2013. :grouphug:

 

 

I think that's it. The holding of breath. Being scared to check my bank account. I'm sick of worrying about how much money was just thrown away in that pot of burnt rice or what if we get a flat tire, etc. I just need a break to get ahead!

 

I am so glad things are looking up for you guys. I hope your dh's job works out well!

[scrapbookbuzz]

I have been in the financial abyss you find yourself in right now. I also recognize a coupon expert when I see one. Accept Reya's help.

Even if you THINK you know what she'll say, listen anyway. Financial pain is among the worst but, amazingly, it is not forever, even though

it feels like it at the time. Are there any food banks near you? I found those MOST welcome when money was so tight I thought it would strangle me!

 

As for your husband's job, he needs to approach them PRONTO and address the situation. If he is a FULL TIME professor, why are you not getting benefits?

Why is the pay so dismal? Something just doesn't sound right there. If the college isn't willing to give benefits then they at least need to relax their "work for

no one else while working for us" rule. Otherwise, how do they expect you to survive?

 

I know, I know. My husband didn't want to approach his boss, either, when I was 35 weeks pregnant with our son and they wanted to lay him off, which would

have effectively stopped our benefits. I made it very clear to my husband that he needed to make it very clear to his boss(es) that their "rules" were affecting

more than just him. He had a family. As do you. The issues need to be addressed by approaching those that have some power to do something about it.

In your case, your husbands bosses.

 

And while you're waiting for them to get their heads out of the sand, please don't hesitate to PM me and ask for help. I'm glad to help. I'm only too aware of

what that tight spot feels like.

[Jerico]

Commiserating here too.

 

How do you keep hubby's carbs low if you don't eat any meat?

 

Even if they don't up his pay or give benefits maybe he could get out of his contract? That way he can find some side work as tutoring or a 2nd job?

[Dandelion]

I'm sorry you're in a rough spot. :grouphug:

 

Don't have any food budget advice, as we spend a ridiculous amount of money on groceries (DS is gluten/dairy/soy/etc.-free, we buy organic, etc.)

 

Some other thoughts/ideas though:

• Since your background is in healthcare, you would probably be qualified for virtual administrative support jobs for healthcare companies. Not necessarily medical transcription (I think many places require a certification for that), but other administrative functions that can be supported in a work-from-home capacity. Here's a listing of all kinds of work-from-home jobs in the medical field: http://workathomemoms.about.com/od/medicalandnursingjob1/Work_at_Home_Medical_and_Nursing_Jobs.htm
  
• The title of your post struck me - "I hate money". I know you're just venting, but if there's some truth to that statement, that may be a part of what's keeping you stuck. Years ago, I came across the blog of a financial coach who specialized in helping women transform their relationship with money. I never worked with her, but what she wrote got me thinking about my own perspective on money and how that might be impacting my financial situation. The gist is that we act in accordance with what we believe - because our minds have a need to keep our actions congruent with whatever our mental framework is. So if you (not you personally - just generally speaking) see yourself as "someone who struggles financially", you're going to have a harder time breaking out of that. If you shift your perspective to "I'm someone who has had a setback but I'm taking steps to be financially secure", your mind and subsequently your actions will begin to fall in line with that. Might feel a bit "woo woo" to some folks here, but I've experienced the impacts of this kind of shift in my own life and have seen it work for others as well.
  

Hope things will be better for you and your family in 2013!

[JenC3]

My dh has taught in the university system for almost 15 yrs and we have always had benefits. You can't be FT and tenured without benefits. I know your in SI, can you move to Indiana? USI has been hiring a ton and they provide benefits for FT non-tenured faculty. Also he can teach for an online school as long as it isn't in IL as far as I understand. The school doesn't do your taxes. Higher Education can act like a big bully, but they will not put out a search to find your dh out there and most schools do not list faculty names and info. What does he teach?

 

Ok I just reread your post and you said lecturer and contract. Those terms would not be applicable after you get tenure. Is he on the tenure track? Also I don't know anyone tenured without benefits. I just want to clarify b/c if that's the case, he needs to get on the job market. I know there are VERY FEW tenured positions out there, but there are community college positions that have benefits. Is he at Vincennes?

[LMA]

Honestly, something about the job needs to change if you want to get out of your current situation. I'm surprised there are no benefits. I even got partial benefits as a part-time lecturer for several years. Around here, any contract profs (non-tenured) have benefits to reflect their partial status. Those who are ft on a tenure-track get benefits. The only ones that don't have benefits are those who teach per diem (adjunct status).

 

I would have your dh approach the school about benefits. What is your husband's plan about your financial situation? You don't mention your husband's point of view. Are you two on the same page?

[justamouse]

:grouphug:

 

 

I know this is so hard with the economy, but is moving a possibility for you? Teachers do really well in NJ, COL is higher but the pay is, too. You'd have insurance. I mean, sometimes you have to do something THAT drastic--IF you can.

 

You'd also be able to work.

[mommymilkies]

That is very helpful, Dandelion!

 

Dh has "benefits" but none we can afford. The medical insurance costs 60-70% of our income. It is a cc, so not the good benefits of a university. They are in deep financial crisis here in IL, so they have cut all raises, etc. and 20 teachers lost their jobs-yes, tenured professors. The educational system here is in trouble nd dh's tenured job is even semester by semester with security. Last teaching job he had had amazing benefits. Unfortunately our choice was a job with great benefits with low pay and a high COL or a job that paid better, had terrible benefits that we couldn't use and a lower COL. Not very fair, but life never is.

 

Are there any food banks near you? I found those MOST welcome when money was so tight I thought it would strangle me!

As for your husband's job, he needs to approach them PRONTO and address the situation. If he is a FULL TIME professor, why are you not getting benefits?

Why is the pay so dismal? Something just doesn't sound right there. If the college isn't willing to give benefits then they at least need to relax their "work for

no one else while working for us" rule. Otherwise, how do they expect you to survive?

 

Thank you. It is not negotiable with his boss. It is a union contract for the college. So far he has gotten away with paid gigs with his band, and some of the other employees work in their spouse's business, but tutoring or using his degree, etc. that would actually pay are not allowed. It's been this way for at least 8 years. They also did not fix the insurance at last union negotiation. It is slightly less than before, but still nowhere near affordable. The pay is good compared to some jobs, but for a family our size, it's getting tight without the raises because of the budget crisis and inflation everywhere else-mortgage, electric, food, gas, etc. plus he has a required retirement contribution that is not optional. He is not allowed to work in the system without putting in a certain portion. Which would be great...if it didn't mean that we took home less than we need. And with taxes, I'm not sure if I could work without us losing more tax money than I would make working minimum wage somewhere.

 

He can not get out of his contract without losing his job. He has allowed me to look for other areas that are hiring for next year, but with his field, it is hard to find one not in a very high COL area. I have no idea how people make it on $47k in Portland, Oregon!! Houses there cost ten times as much as here!

 

We have never had luck finding jobs in IN, but I will check it out. Dh is not very willing to take non-tenured jobs because of all of the budget problems in colleges right now. But I'll see.

 

Commiserating here too.

How do you keep hubby's carbs low if you don't eat any meat?

Even if they don't up his pay or give benefits maybe he could get out of his contract? That way he can find some side work as tutoring or a 2nd job?

 

That's a problem right now. We do eat meat, but not much. So we can stretch out a bag of chicken or a turkey for a week or more. For ethical reasons we buy only humane meat, and I would rather eat less good meat than more cheap ff meat. I didn't mean for this to turn into breaking apart my food budget.

 

*We are not starving. We have food. Not the best organic locally farmed food, but my kids are not going hungry. My budget is already low. I coupon, I price match, and with food restrictions, I can not go lower here. *

 

I should have been more clear in my OP. I'm sorry, I was looking more for commiseration & ideas for getting on track in the new year. I do appreciate the budget help, I can always use that. Lol I have thought of taking accounting classes (dh's coworkers will let me audit) to work on doing things better.

[JenC3]

But you say he has no security semester to semester so that's not really tenured even if they use the term. Again, how are they going to track his income if he teaches online? What is his field?

[mommymilkies]

Chemistry.

 

No security because even tenured professors have been getting laid off with the budget cuts. plus enrollment is down. if his classes don't get enough students, it's obligatory lowering to part time status with a HUGE pay cut.

[Walking-Iris]

 

 

my financial situation. The gist is that we act in accordance with what we believe - because our minds have a need to keep our actions congruent with whatever our mental framework is. So if you (not you personally - just generally speaking) see yourself as "someone who struggles financially", you're going to have a harder time breaking out of that. If you shift your perspective to "I'm someone who has had a setback but I'm taking steps to be financially secure", your mind and subsequently your actions will begin to fall in line with that. Might feel a bit "woo woo" to some folks here, but I've experienced the impacts of this kind of shift in my own life and have seen it work for others as well.

 

 

I agree with the general feeling of this quote. I've always been poor. But I don't usually feel like it because I've changed my perspective about wants and needs and my mindset about it. Less is more. Frugality helps. Selling what is absolutely unnecessary. Canceling any subscriptions that are unnecessary. And deciding not to purchase anything unless absolutely necessary. Use the motto "Measure twice, cut once" to apply to finances as well. Before buying anything just stop and ask yourself if it's really necessary. Sometimes after a self imposed wait period you may decide that thing isn't really something to buy after all.

 

I also agree that something is off about your Dh's job. It makes no sense to forbid him to take music lesson students, or to work a part time job in summer etc.No sense at all.

 

Also there's a few things off the top of my head that might bring a bit of pocket money to you. Sale your stuff in consignment stores. I know you just want the clutter out of your way, but just donating it all every time is the same as throwing money away imho if you cold use the extra cash. The Garage Sale is accepting new consigners at the 1st of the year and I plan on doing it. My MIL donates her clothes and usually gets about 60 a month. And 60 extra dollars isn't to laugh at when you could use it. Kid's clothes, shoes, books, toys, games etc. Anythinng at all. I personally think you need to stop taking it all to the local dump aka Salvation Army. ;)

 

Also....you're a pretty good seamstress and knitter. I know a ton of people who get a nice bit of pocket money by selling stuff at Wild Imaginations. 25 a month booth rental. It's work. But it might help. Even your dd can sell stuff if she's a pretty good knitter. I've seen crafts made by kids in there several times.

 

Shopping consignment is a great way to dress everybody and cheaply too. I was able to find two Columbia winter coats in excellent shape for 6$ and 12$. It takes patience to go to the stores and go through the racks, but usually everyone can be dressed well buying used. I don't think anyone in my family has had a "new" winter coat in years--if ever. But they're always dressed warmly and nicely. Your older dd's can pretty much dress all of your younger ones for years with good clothes care and storage. Also you (or anyone for that matter) don't need "the best locally farmed organic food---you really don't. I worked in the organic food business and it's all a trend, overpriced, sometimes even a fashion statement. If I had to choose between the slightly more expensive organic brand of greek yogurt or Dannon. I wouldn't buy the organic brand. There's nothing wrong with eating the healthiest regular brands of food that you can afford to buy. I always buy organic milk on principle, but other than that---yeah. As long as your diet isn't full of Chips Ahoy and Dr Pepper (which I know it isn't) there's no reason at all to worry about the brand or label of your food. Other than what's absolutely necessary for allergy health etc. Really. Trust me on this. Step away from the lure of the trendy fashion food. Don't buy into it.

 

It's frustrating when washers break. Annoying when furnaces go out etc. Or roofs need to be fixed. Usually my reaction to those events is "yep a pain...but part of life." Those things will always happen....always. No escaping it. It makes it easier to deal with when it happens if you have the perspective to start with that it will happen and to be ready for them when they do.

 

There's a lot of truth in the perspective shift idea.

[JenC3]

Ok so I wonder how much Math he as and if he could teach online. The way you describe his position sounds like an adjnct except they're calling it tenured: no benefits, enrollment deductions, no security, contract to contract semesters. I know you may think it "dishonest," but he needs to try and get some online gigs. I have VERY LITTLE regard for our current higher education system. My dh is employed by higher ed and makes good money, but it's a hot racket and the state of it is as bad or worse than PS.

[I.Dup.]

I'm sorry. Money can be SO stressful and burdensome. We have a TON of food allergies here (dairy, wheat, eggs, peanuts, almonds, corn products, etc) so I understand the frustration around food and what we need to spend on food. Food takes a HUGE amount of our money.

[mommymilkies]

It's just a very messed up situation right now in this state. Even the public schools have laid off soooooooo many teachers and aides. It's quite bad. Dh was already on the RIF list once until they pushed out almost-retirees (yes, there is a lawsuit in the works). Every semester it's a little terrifying thinking what we will do if he doesn't have enough kids in his classes. Enrollment is so low he hasn't been able to teach Organic since 2008.

[mommymilkies]

Ok so I wonder how much Math he as and if he could teach online. The way you describe his position sounds like an adjnct except they're calling it tenured: no benefits, enrollment deductions, no security, contract to contract semesters. I know you may think it "dishonest," but he needs to try and get some online gigs. I have VERY LITTLE regard for our current higher education system. My dh is employed by higher ed and makes good money, but it's a hot racket and the state of it is as bad or worse than PS.

 

 

It would be better if he had his PhD, but he just has a M.S.. That limits the jobs. I've tried to get him to go back to Pharmacy school, but we don't have the money.

[JenC3]

My dh does have a PhD, but he didn't when he started getting online gigs. Has he taught an online courses for his current job?

[mommymilkies]

My dh does have a PhD, but he didn't when he started getting online gigs. Has he taught an online courses for his current job?

 

He is trying to get them to set up hybrid courses, but he has not taught them before.

[mhaddon]

Is your husband working a consistent enough schedual to get a part time job when he's home outside of what your degree is in? My DH was laid off recently so we aren't even able to pay all our very basic bills and I was spending $450 a month on food for a family of 6. So yeah, we can't cut out some things. His unemployment pays our rent and electricty and that is it. Not the auto, internet, and a few other small bills we have that can not go. We cut down to one basic cell because we do not have home phones and that is for job calls. We dont have cable, or any other fluff. We just can not make it no matter what. So I've put in applications everywhere for something. I guess in your spot even a part time job at McDonalds would be better than nothing. Otherwise I'm not sure what to change... sometimes you have to suck up your pride and just work for less to have those extra things...

 

Also have you tried swapping out in exchange for lessons? I clean the place my daughter tumbles and cheers, it pays for it (thankfully). I cleaned the building so my kids could take music classes. Just another idea.

[mhaddon]

And we weren't even able to buy our own children Christmas presents, my husband was so torn up over it. But it was heat or gifts. Luckily a church and my aunt brought over a few things to put under the tree and they were still happy with that. So yes it was hard seeing everything under everyone else's trees this year, but we made it and things will get better. We are always learning how to become more responsible and trying to make it out of the financial pit fall our parents are still stuck in... you have to look beyond the excuses because that is what they are, excuses as to why you can't do xyz.

[Reya]

Do you have links for the tutoring? I've only seen ones that didn't look legit.

 

I can not get my food budget down more. No pasta or bread or filler food other than rice, and I have a diabetic (type 1) dh so we have to try to keep his carbs down. We eat almost no meat. I only buy fruits & veggies on price matched. But gluten free does not work well with budgets. We only have a Walmart and an overpriced IGA. No Aldi's. feeding two males with hollow legs and high metabolism and family food restrictions is hard. The nuts are not just an issue in stuff, but cross contamination is an issue. So that further limits what I can buy. Right now we largely live off of on sale rice chex, rice, beans, bananas, carrots, and corn products-nachos, etc. where there is no price competition, it is harder to get food cheap.

 

You should search as if you want to be tutored, then find the employment link. http://www.tutor.com/ http://www.tutorvista.com/ http://www.e-tutor.com/ http://eduboard.com/ etc. If you search for BECOMING a tutor, you'll get scams.

 

 

My husband used to sit down and eat a meal meant to serve a family of 4 ALONE for dinner. (He had a serious problem with compulsive eating.) He's backed off a good amount, but even then, I fed 2 of us on $30 a week.

 

We eat a healthy amount of meat--we have meat every night, but not normal "standard American diet" quantities. I certainly wouldn't say that we feel at all meat-deprived. We have a lot of veggies--we also LIKE a lot of veggies. We eat, in one form or another, pretty much EVERYTHING. Except beets. Beet greens, yes. But none of us have managed to like beets in any form. There are way more cheap veggies out there than just carrots!

 

My husband is Chinese, so we are a rice-heavy family. We have pasta once a week or less, and we really don't do much bread--I never have rolls or anything like that. Just don't. I could, with the same budget. It's just food preferences. I'm not sure how much my DH would really notice if he went gluten free, except for the cereal!

 

Before ALDI opened locally, I couponed more. :) It was more work, and I still paid $5-10/wk more.

 

You could find out how far away the Wal-mart will allow price matching. There may be other grocery stores that are too far for you to visit but that Wal-mart will still match. Most grocery stores have their circulars online, so you can print them out and circle the prices.

 

I strongly recommend doing a twice-yearly long distance trip to an excellent, large ethnic grocery. That's where you get 50-lb+ bags of rice and TONS of other staples for dirt cheap. Even if it's three hours each way, it can be worth it if you save up for all the other shopping that will be cheaper in the city at the same time.

 

You should be able to buy ALL your cereal with coupons. You can get them for free online and can print off two copies per website per computer. Print on the reverse side of scratch paper, and it's down to .25 cents per sheet for laser ink.

 

You can also expand your breakfast horizons--like oatmeal, grits, polenta. I can't stand thin oatmeal, but thick oatmeal is great. And oatmeal's better for diabetes, too. :)

[Reya]

That's a problem right now. We do eat meat, but not much. So we can stretch out a bag of chicken or a turkey for a week or more. For ethical reasons we buy only humane meat, and I would rather eat less good meat than more cheap ff meat.

 

Unless you are raising the animals yourself or your neighbor is, chances are you're getting snowed here. You may believe that the meat is "more humane," but if you're getting it at your grocery store--yes, even if it's Whole Foods--it's almost certainly not.

 

There is a lot of guilt making people believe that they are hurting their families if they don't get more expensive types of food. If you really believe that the food in the grocery store is harmful, the organic stuff is NO BETTER--not in the treatment of the animals or in the use of potentially harmful substances and pathogen exposure. It is more dangerous by several measures, in fact. So then the priority should be making sure the garden doesn't fail this year and raising some birds and rabbits for meat. And that, itself, can turn into a small profit source through a farm stand or a farmer's market, depending on where you live.

[mommymilkies]

I buy my meat from a trusted local grass fed farm. Only $5 a lb. for ground beef. Pot roast cuts are Cheaper there than at Walmart. I price match everything within 100 miles and belong to a local group that shares info, coupons, and deals. We have sold at the Farmers Market before and even the best gardens around here with greenhouss and irrigation failed. Most of the state farmland was plowed under because of heat and drought conditions. I can't raise chickens because I don't have the space or money right now. We have been trying for years to buy a place where we could raise chickens and goats for milk. No bunnies, though. My kids would have broken hearts and we're certainly not starving enough for that.no offense for people that can do that, but I raised rabbits as a kid, and I just can't.

[Halftime Hope]

 

Unless you are raising the animals yourself or your neighbor is, chances are you're getting snowed here. You may believe that the meat is "more humane," but if you're getting it at your grocery store--yes, even if it's Whole Foods--it's almost certainly not.

 

There is a lot of guilt making people believe that they are hurting their families if they don't get more expensive types of food. If you really believe that the food in the grocery store is harmful, the organic stuff is NO BETTER--not in the treatment of the animals or in the use of potentially harmful substances and pathogen exposure. It is more dangerous by several measures, in fact. So then the priority should be making sure the garden doesn't fail this year and raising some birds and rabbits for meat. And that, itself, can turn into a small profit source through a farm stand or a farmer's market, depending on where you live.

 

Reya, I'd like to find out more about what you have stated re. the bolded. Could you provide some links or titles so that I can read more? Thanks!

[mommymilkies]

Is your husband working a consistent enough schedual to get a part time job when he's home outside of what your degree is in? My DH was laid off recently so we aren't even able to pay all our very basic bills and I was spending $450 a month on food for a family of 6. So yeah, we can't cut out some things. His unemployment pays our rent and electricty and that is it. Not the auto, internet, and a few other small bills we have that can not go. We cut down to one basic cell because we do not have home phones and that is for job calls. We dont have cable, or any other fluff. We just can not make it no matter what. So I've put in applications everywhere for something. I guess in your spot even a part time job at McDonalds would be better than nothing. Otherwise I'm not sure what to change... sometimes you have to suck up your pride and just work for less to have those extra things...

 

Also have you tried swapping out in exchange for lessons? I clean the place my daughter tumbles and cheers, it pays for it (thankfully). I cleaned the building so my kids could take music classes. Just another idea.

 

(((Hugs)))

 

I can't trade for piano. The lady is quite well off and she's already discounting us. It's just $150 a month we don't have right now. That is so cool that you are able to trade work. I am not above working "menial" jobs, having worked many in my life! But the jobs simply aren't there. I've applied to dozens over the past few years and never hear back. And my schedule is not flexible with dh's work and I have nobody here otherwise to help me with five kids. I wish I could live closer to my mom!

[mommymilkies]

 

 

Reya, I'd like to find out more about what you have stated re. the bolded. Could you provide some links or titles so that I can read more? Thanks!

 

I agree. It goes against every study I have ever read on the subject, and all of my experience in the animal science college courses I studied a few years ago. I agree organic is used rather leniently sometimes, though.

[GraciebytheBay]

We are feeling the pinch, too. Honestly, I have gone over and over our bills, and I have come to the realization that we either have to further cut (still can cut cable, but I don't want to!) or bring in more income. It's just that simple. Since dh is doing all he can (as a tenured college prof also), I feel that it is up to me. It is time. Now, if only a job that I am qualified for would fall into my lap, I would be most appreciative!

[mommymilkies]

We are feeling the pinch, too. Honestly, I have gone over and over our bills, and I have come to the realization that we either have to further cut (still can cut cable, but I don't want to!) or bring in more income. It's just that simple. Since dh is doing all he can (as a tenured college prof also), I feel that it is up to me. It is time. Now, if only a job that I am qualified for would fall into my lap, I would be most appreciative!

 

I also put off cutting cable for years, but Netflix is sooooo much cheaper and much better once you get used to it. :). I miss my old job sometimes. I love being with my kids, but I had early flexible hours, good pay, and an amazing job. It would be nice if another one fell into my lap!

[Desert Rat]

Coming in late to the conversation. I was reading it earlier on my ipod and wanted to come back and give hugs and maybe a bit of advice.

 

I've been "holding my breath" since 2009, too. Dh was laid off from October 2009 through February 2011. I still feel like he could lose his job at any moment. I don't constantly worry about it because I've trained myself not to worry, but those thoughts are never far from my mind. When dh finally found a job, it wasn't in his field and he is making less than half what he used to make. Right after getting laid off, a drunk driver totalled his truck (no one was hurt!). Since then, we've lived with one vehicle. It's so helpful.

 

I tried babysitting an infant and loathed it. Really, words cannot describe how terrible it was for me. So, I started getting the word out that I was available to help with household tasks/chores. I started by helping a family friend clean out cabinets and rearrange her dishes. She was finishing cancer treatment and lots of people helping out in her kitchen. She was feeling better and wanted to get everything back to the way she liked it. This was *completely* a pity hire. She was giving me a hand up. Her husband also had my dh helping around the yard and stuff. We were/are so very grateful! Then, I started cleaning her house. I'm really good at it. I now have 6 clients, 3 houses a week. I pick up organizing jobs where I can. Dh still helps people move furniture, put up Christmas decorations, etc. We put the word out there and we have been so grateful for the help.

 

We trade out plumbing needs with baked goods for small jobs, my cleaning for bigger jobs. We trade out car repairs for babysitting or cleaning.

 

I tried to start a little gift wrap thing this season but didn't get a lot of interest. The economy is still tough here.

 

I think what helped us is that we started thinking creatively and we had a couple people give us a chance. Dh is still working. Money is still tight. We're not saving like we should. But, we're making it.

 

I sell the boys' old toys on Ebay at Christmas time. I sell old books on etsy. We have yard sales twice a year. We've liquidated a very small estate before.

 

I don't know if any of that helps you. Your kiddos are young. My mom helps me out watching my boys for me. But, maybe you could work around your dh's schedule. The cleaning thing is a good gig for me. I make good money for the hours I work. If you would like more info, pm me. I'd be happy to help.

 

Most of all, hang in there. Everything is temporary, even if it doesn't seem that way.

[hsmom2011]

:grouphug: It's been very difficult here the last few years as well. :grouphug:

[Scarlett]

I totally get the holding your breath feeling. Ugh. Dh was laid off 3 days after we returned from our honeymoon and although he worked taking care of friends rentals he was under employed for the next year. It took a move to another state to get him back in his field. Juuuust as we sold one house bought another and got rid of the apartment we had to maintain for 8 months, dh got sick and couldn't work for 3 months. Argh!

 

So yeah.....I THINK we can breath now but you never know what is around the corner.

[Twilight Woods]

I hear you. We are in IL as well. All of DH's overtime has been cut. We have lost nearly $1000+ a month and he works in healthcare. I work in healthcare as well. I have been fortunate to pick up some extra hours each week. We have decided as of the first of the year to just budget off of his income and mine will be going towards wittling down are debt. Im hoping that by doing this [no wiggle room for anything] we will be better off financially by end of summer.

 

Are you able to recert?

[Elizabeth in MN]

I'll be annoying and point out that you don't actually hate money. You hate a *lack* of money. Money is evil, but it sure does buy pretty things like water and heat.

[idnib]

:grouphug:

[mommymilkies]

I hear you. We are in IL as well. All of DH's overtime has been cut. We have lost nearly $1000+ a month and he works in healthcare. I work in healthcare as well. I have been fortunate to pick up some extra hours each week. We have decided as of the first of the year to just budget off of his income and mine will be going towards wittling down are debt. Im hoping that by doing this [no wiggle room for anything] we will be better off financially by end of summer.

 

Are you able to recert?

 

 

I have heard many of my nurse friends talk about the same problems here in IL finding and keeping their jobs. It's just a really bad job market in this state, I guess!

 

I would have to go back to school again for all of the programs-EMT, CNA, Phlebotomy, etc. My main line of work-andrologist is not even available within many hours of here, so going back wouldn't do me any good! I've looked into going back to get my R.N. or really anything, but the hours directly conflict with dh's work schedule and they no longer offer night classes anywhere near here.

[Frances]

It would be better if he had his PhD, but he just has a M.S.. That limits the jobs. I've tried to get him to go back to Pharmacy school, but we don't have the money.

 

My husband went from a chemistry tenure track teaching job at a LAC with fairly good benefits but fairly low pay to Pharmacy school and our financial situation improved drastically. We took out some loans because many pharm jobs offer loan repayment as a bonus. Most of his loans will be repaid by his current employer. My husband also taught college chemistry during the summers and did some tutoring during the school year. I think you might be surprised by how much he could make teaching during the summers. For my husband, it was close to what he made FT in his previous job, but without benefits, as they paid by the course. You also might be able to get family insurance through the university where the pharmacy school is located.

 

Most of my husband's single pharm school classmates took out significantly more loans than we did, but as long as you don't take out more than you expect him to make the first year out, you should be fine. At least here in the PNW, pharm jobs start in the low six figures. And his current employer adjusts his schedule so he can still teach one class each summer, just because he enjoys it.

 

My husband basically halved his work hours and tripled his pay by going to pharmacy school. We have no regrets.

[dangermom]

Yeah, I hear you. It is no fun. :grouphug:

[Pink Fairy]

Sorry if you've looked into this already, but is teaching science in a public high school a possibility? We are in California, and depending on the district some teachers get paid more than university professors. Working in a ps would also free him up to take on a second part time job in education. My dh has taught adult ed for several years to supplement our income. He also tutors at lunch time and after school. The pay is good, $35/hour, on top of his regular salary with full benefits.

 

Anyway, just throwing that out there. I think it's outrageous that they don't pay your dh a living wage and then cripple his ability to make extra money on the side. :(

 

ETA: The full benefits cost us $850/month out of pocket for our family of seven, but his district pays more than half. Just clarifying. :)

[Lisbeth]

:grouphug: I wish I had words of wisdom here. I think more and more people are going to find themselves in that situation and worse, because the economy is on a downward spiral. :sad: I would flee to a healthy state, but that takes money, too.

[lil' maids in a row]

I hear you! Money has been a struggle for us too. I shop at thrift stores and keep it to absolute necessities. We rarely, rarely go out to eat. Our cars are each over 12 years old (but dh keeps them running like new, bless his hands). It is scary and humbling and frusterating. I am sorry you are struggling.