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pics of your kids on Facebook?


Spryte
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To preface, I don't do facebook. DH and I are holdouts. We are very into privacy, and prefer other ways to stay in touch with family and friends. I don't have a problem with people who do facebook, it's just not my choice.

 

How do you all feel when (if) other people post pictures of your kids online? Is there some kind of etiquette around this? Since I don't do facebook, I have no idea, but it bothers me knowing that people are posting pictures of my kids - even in my house - on their facebook pages. Am I out of line here?

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If you have a problem with it, you may wish to ask anyone taking pictures at an activity to make sure they do not take any pictures with your children in them or to please refrain from posting those particular photos online. Do this as soon as you see a camera. I'm sorry, but many of us have our families in activities, take pictures of our children, and post them for family. Facebook has been a blessing and inexpensive way for my family to keep in touch and share our lives. Sometimes other people are in the pictures simply due to their presence at the event or because they are there alongside our children. Hope that helps :)

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It doesn't bother me at all, but my big kids are 21, 18, and 17. They are facebooks users and post pictures of themselves all the time. In fact, with the older two at college, it's nice to see pics to know they are alive and well.

 

DD11 doesn't have a facebook account, so even if someone did post her picture, they couldn't tag it with her name.

 

So, no it doesn't bother me.

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If you have a problem with it, you may wish to ask anyone taking pictures at an activity to make sure they do not take any pictures with your children in them or to please refrain from posting those particular photos online. Do this as soon as you see a camera. I'm sorry, but many of us have our families in activities, take pictures of our children, and post them for family. Facebook has been a blessing and inexpensive way for my family to keep in touch and share our lives. Sometimes other people are in the pictures simply due to their presence at the event or because they are there alongside our children. Hope that helps :)

 

 

Oh, I don't mind if we are out and about, at an event etc. :) That's just part of life.

 

I'm thinking of people coming into my home for a visit, taking pictures inside my home that are *only* of my children, then posting those on their facebook pages with my kids' names attached. Is that normal? Am I too sensitive on that?

 

And again, I really don't mind if we are out, at an activity, or with friends. It's just when it's in our home, with pictures that might indicate where we live - like an address or another identifying feature of our neighborhood - that I get antsy and concerned.

 

I've asked the party that does this to stop, but she has not stopped. She treats my request as paranoid, and ignores it.

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To preface, I don't do facebook. DH and I are holdouts. We are very into privacy, and prefer other ways to stay in touch with family and friends. I don't have a problem with people who do facebook, it's just not my choice.

 

How do you all feel when (if) other people post pictures of your kids online? Is there some kind of etiquette around this? Since I don't do facebook, I have no idea, but it bothers me knowing that people are posting pictures of my kids - even in my house - on their facebook pages. Am I out of line here?

 

 

I understand feeling uncomfortable because I used to feel just like that, but it's probably not as unsafe as you might think. Do they have your kids full names attached, or an address? Anything identifiable as to how to find your children? If not, there's probably nothing to worry about.

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Oh, I don't mind if we are out and about, at an event etc. :) That's just part of life.

 

I'm thinking of people coming into my home for a visit, taking pictures inside my home that are *only* of my children, then posting those on their facebook pages with my kids' names attached. Is that normal? Am I too sensitive on that?

 

And again, I really don't mind if we are out, at an activity, or with friends. It's just when it's in our home, with pictures that might indicate where we live - like an address or another identifying feature of our neighborhood - that I get antsy and concerned.

 

I've asked the party that does this to stop, but she has not stopped. She treats my request as paranoid, and ignores it.

 

 

It does sound a bit paranoid, but they are your children. It's odd that someone refuses to honor your request. (Sounds like a mother or mother-in-law? Someone who thinks they "supersede" your authority?)

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That is a weird thing. Why would someone come into your home and take pictures of your kids and post them on facebook? They must be family, right?

 

We don't mind if people post our kids. My in-laws and brothers and sisters do this whenever they are near. We have an adorable one of them watering some plants with Grandpa that I'm glad to have easy access to. They just tag me as my children so that I can find them. My little sister even created a Facebook account for her baby boy specifically so she could tag him in stuff or that her friends could. I don't mind at all, but then again, my children are very young and they don't care either. We just like being able to see all their pictures, you know?

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I'm thinking of people coming into my home for a visit, taking pictures inside my home that are *only* of my children, then posting those on their facebook pages with my kids' names attached. Is that normal? Am I too sensitive on that?

 

 

That would be impolite and not normal. I have seen that done for playdate group photos on facebook but that is all.

 

Friends have posted pictures of my kids playing with their kids on facebook but they did not post my kids names.

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To preface, I don't do facebook. DH and I are holdouts. We are very into privacy, and prefer other ways to stay in touch with family and friends. I don't have a problem with people who do facebook, it's just not my choice.

 

How do you all feel when (if) other people post pictures of your kids online? Is there some kind of etiquette around this? Since I don't do facebook, I have no idea, but it bothers me knowing that people are posting pictures of my kids - even in my house - on their facebook pages. Am I out of line here?

 

 

I'd be upset if other people post pictures of my kids. That is my prerogative only, and I only ever do it if the kid's identity is obscured.

 

Etiquette among people I know requires that you don't post pictures of other people's kids without permission.

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I just tell people not to post our pics on Facebook. We had a stalker situation going on that has mostly been eliminated, but I don't want anything out there, especially with names. If they don't like it then we are not in the picture. My brother ignored me last year and I let him have it. He had friended the troublemaker and this person saw the pic. He has memory issues, so I didn't go too crazy on him but reminded his family that we are not to be in pics on his FB. He also unfriended the troublemaker.

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Spyte, I get this; I know a lot of people with moral codes like this.

 

I think you'll need to speak up in a gentle way but be firm about your wishes.

 

People don't think twice about this as how common this practice is in a wired world. They don't mean to offend you when they do, they simply aren't aware.

 

You are doing people a favor by speaking up, because the mortification they would/do feel after learning your belief (and having violated it by posting them) is very difficult. You simply have to speak up and let them know. It's not exactly unusual to find people who would find it a violation, but the assumption is that it's okay to do unless they know better.

 

It's perfectly fine to hold this view on images, but honestly, you have to communicate your wishes clearly.

 

I get the uncomfortable feeling and confusion about it, but the solution is to get the message across loud and clear that this is not acceptable for your family.

 

If there are images out there you'd rather not be, go ahead and talk about it with the source who released it. Reassure them, they are going to feel absolutely horrible about it honestly.

 

They are doing it because they don't know any better. Help them out and yourself at the same time.

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Thanks, all. It's good to get some fresh perspective on this.

 

It's being done by a member of our kiddo's birthfamily, one with a history of drug and alcohol abuse, and very bad judgment. I don't mind her posting pics, but it bothers me when she takes them inside our home, or with identifying info, and posts them. I don't trust her acquaintances. :(

 

I wondered if maybe my request that she refrain from doing this was just way out of line in the facebook world.

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Guest inoubliable

To preface, I don't do facebook. DH and I are holdouts. We are very into privacy, and prefer other ways to stay in touch with family and friends. I don't have a problem with people who do facebook, it's just not my choice.

 

How do you all feel when (if) other people post pictures of your kids online? Is there some kind of etiquette around this? Since I don't do facebook, I have no idea, but it bothers me knowing that people are posting pictures of my kids - even in my house - on their facebook pages. Am I out of line here?

 

We are the same way with Facebook.

 

I don't think you're out of line. If it bothers you, it bothers you. It certainly bothers me when it's done.

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Uh oh. I'm seeing your update where you have asked and it's been ignored. Not good.

 

 

Yes. :(

 

I hesitated to post too much info about it initially, then realized that I needed to clarify for the sake of getting opinions on this topic.

 

We've asked many times, as nicely and gently as we know how to ask. Part of me wants to ignore it, and just let it go. If this is just normal facebook behavior then... Maybe we can learn to live with it.

 

But there are real concerns about safety here, we think. I just don't know what to do.

 

We did ask our attorney. His stance was very adamant, very rigid, and we have not wanted to go the route of his suggestions.

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Thanks, all. It's good to get some fresh perspective on this.

 

It's being done by a member of our kiddo's birthfamily, one with a history of drug and alcohol abuse, and very bad judgment. I don't mind her posting pics, but it bothers me when she takes them inside our home, or with identifying info, and posts them. I don't trust her acquaintances. :(

 

I wondered if maybe my request that she refrain from doing this was just way out of line in the facebook world.

 

 

This makes more sense. It would bother me too, especially with a specific request being ignored.

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I love FB and I love keeping in touch with family and friends especially as we move a lot. However many people do not use any security measures to safe guard their FB accounts and anything they post is open to all people. If a person takes a photo of your children and they have geo tagging enabled when they post that photo anyone can see exactly where it was taken. This can be a security hazzard. We do not post photos of our kids on FB and ask others not to either. The stats are amazing about how much FB is used by unethical individuals for everything from Identity theft to stalking and kidnapping. The innocent info people put out about themselves is incredible....to include birthdays, anniversarys, maiden names...all info used to steal an identity. Criminals are crafty.

Not posting photos of my kids on FB may not insure they come to no harm....it will insure they come to no harm from FB.

To OP you are within your rights as a parent to ask others not to post photos....you are within your right to insist they take nophotos in your home.

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Oh, I don't mind if we are out and about, at an event etc. :) That's just part of life.

 

I'm thinking of people coming into my home for a visit, taking pictures inside my home that are *only* of my children, then posting those on their facebook pages with my kids' names attached. Is that normal? Am I too sensitive on that?

 

And again, I really don't mind if we are out, at an activity, or with friends. It's just when it's in our home, with pictures that might indicate where we live - like an address or another identifying feature of our neighborhood - that I get antsy and concerned.

 

I've asked the party that does this to stop, but she has not stopped. She treats my request as paranoid, and ignores it.

Depends upon who the person is. If it's a grandparent or a sibling I get along with, I would expect it. Even one of my best friends does this, but then, she loves the camera and posts pictures of everything, including my children :) If it's just some random stranger or acquaintance from church, then, yes, that would bother me. I would just talk with them, ask them to remove said pictures.

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Yes. :(

 

I hesitated to post too much info about it initially, then realized that I needed to clarify for the sake of getting opinions on this topic.

 

We've asked many times, as nicely and gently as we know how to ask. Part of me wants to ignore it, and just let it go. If this is just normal facebook behavior then... Maybe we can learn to live with it.

 

But there are real concerns about safety here, we think. I just don't know what to do.

 

We did ask our attorney. His stance was very adamant, very rigid, and we have not wanted to go the route of his suggestions.

If there are real concerns, then follow your attorney's advice ;)

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*If* I'm reading this right (and I don't have a perfect batting average admittedly) there are two parents in agreement, a fringe-element relation, and an attorney and the safety of kids in a private home involved.

 

That's a high wire situation.

 

I don't think this is run of the mill stuff.

 

:) No, probably not run of the mill. Your summary made me laugh!

 

I really don't know what we'll do. I don't know how to do the cool multi-quoting thing here, so first... I'll just say thanks to all... I wanted to get a feel for what's normal in the world of facebook and posting pics of others' kids, in their homes.

 

We'll probably ask that all phones be checked at the door from now on, or possibly make more of an effort to do visits in a neutral location. That should help with the geo-tagging issue that a PP brought up, and the identifying features of our neighborhood.

 

Our attorney is no longer involved, thank goodness, we are way past that. But we did ask him before we finalized, and his thoughts were very clear and concise, also very rigid.

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Okay I sort of get it if the person were posting photos with the kids first and more importantly last name.

 

And I could completely understand if it was a picture of your kids, in front of your house, where your house number is visible, along with either the street sign, a giant yard elf, a well known 200 year old tree or some other identifying factor.

 

But taken in your own living room? If you are okay with photos taken out somewhere I don't get the living room issue. Your living room looks pretty much like everyone else's living room. You can't identify a house from the wall behind where your kids are standing.

 

You are okay with other activities, but not with an unidentifiable room?

 

That I don't get.

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Yes, this is more than someone being inconsiderate. Have you tried reporting each offending photo to Facebook? Click on "options" under each photo, and click on "report/remove tag." Then checkmark "I want this photo removed from Facebook." You can then choose a reason. I have done this once and the photo was removed almost immediately, and never reposted (by the original poster).

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is this a foster or adoption situation? If not, I cannot fathom why you would keep allowing these people in your house with cameras, lol.

 

Yes, it is.

 

We don't have to allow them in, we don't have to do anything, but we wanted to facilitate as much openness as we could. We have other children in open adoptions, and it's all very respectful, loving, and there is a genuine feeling of shared family and love. This situation is different, probably because of the substance abuse.

 

The person involved is very, very young, and can't be expected to have great judgment, even sober. But the reaction when we've asked that pics not be posted on facebook is that we are, well, crazy.

 

So I started to wonder... Hmmm, are we being too rigid here? Is this really the norm?

 

Like I said above, I think the next visit we will ask that phones be checked at the door, and we will take pictures that we will print out before the visit ends. Do you think that would satisfy the need for pics? That way we can be sure they are not identifying, are not geo-tagged, and if they do get posted on fb, they at least won't contain info about our location.

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Yes, this is more than someone being inconsiderate. Have you tried reporting each offending photo to Facebook? Click on "options" under each photo, and click on "report/remove tag." Then checkmark "I want this photo removed from Facebook." You can then choose a reason. I have done this once and the photo was removed almost immediately, and never reposted (by the original poster).

 

I didn't know we could do this. Would we need to have a facebook account to do so? Thanks!

 

(Again, we would only do it with the ones that contain our kiddo's name and obviously identifying info about the location - those are the pics that have me uncomfortable.)

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If a person takes a photo of your children and they have geo tagging enabled when they post that photo anyone can see exactly where it was taken. This can be a security hazzard.

 

This would be a big concern. If the photos are taken in your house and have geotagging on them, someone can see exactly where your house is (GPS). Here are a few articles about it:

 

http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-the-Potential-Risks-of-Geotagging

http://www.army.mil/article/75165/Geotagging_poses_security_risks/

http://www.geotagsecurity.com/geotag-security-and-family-protection/

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Yes, it is.

 

We don't have to allow them in, we don't have to do anything, but we wanted to facilitate as much openness as we could. We have other children in open adoptions, and it's all very respectful, loving, and there is a genuine feeling of shared family and love. This situation is different, probably because of the substance abuse.

 

The person involved is very, very young, and can't be expected to have great judgment, even sober. But the reaction when we've asked that pics not be posted on facebook is that we are, well, crazy.

 

So I started to wonder... Hmmm, are we being too rigid here? Is this really the norm?

 

Like I said above, I think the next visit we will ask that phones be checked at the door, and we will take pictures that we will print out before the visit ends. Do you think that would satisfy the need for pics? That way we can be sure they are not identifying, are not geo-tagged, and if they do get posted on fb, they at least won't contain info about our location.

 

You know, if your main concern is geo-tagging, and the person isn't reasonable, then at some point swipe the person's phone and disable geo-tagging yourself. :D Distract them with some liquor and chocolate cake and let someone else pull off the Secret Mission... It takes about 15 seconds to disable geo-tagging on a phone. If you don't want to do it secretively, then ask if you can see their pictures and hang on to their phone scrolling through pictures for awhile. You should garner plenty of time to disable the geo-tags.

 

Yes, I'm aware that my suggestion isn't the most politically, morally or legally correct solution. :coolgleamA:

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.

 

The person involved is very, very young, and can't be expected to have great judgment, even sober. But the reaction when we've asked that pics not be posted on facebook is that we are, well, crazy.

 

 

 

Like I said above, I think the next visit we will ask that phones be checked at the door, and we will take pictures that we will print out before the visit ends. Do you think that would satisfy the need for pics? That way we can be sure they are not identifying, are not geo-tagged, and if they do get posted on fb, they at least won't contain info about our location.

 

 

Well that's your big problem right there. The "very, very young" seem to put EVERYTHING on fb. I'm betting there is a feeling, especially since you don't 'do' fb that you just don't get it and are too old and out of touch with current techno times.

 

As for printing them off photos, they can still put them on fb, all they have to do is scan them in. Or even just take a picture of the picture and with the higher quality cameras, even those come out pretty good.

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I didn't know we could do this. Would we need to have a facebook account to do so? Thanks!

 

(Again, we would only do it with the ones that contain our kiddo's name and obviously identifying info about the location - those are the pics that have me uncomfortable.)

 

Yes, but you can have a private facebook account and put zero info and pictures on it. I would open one just for the sake of moderating what is posted by the offending party.

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I'd be upset if other people post pictures of my kids. That is my prerogative only, and I only ever do it if the kid's identity is obscured.

 

Etiquette among people I know requires that you don't post pictures of other people's kids without permission.

I agree. I have philosophical issues against FB. I'd really prefer my family have nothing to do with it. Yet I have a blog and post photos of dd and dh and other people's kids (with permission) there. No names attached anywhere.

 

I know there is a photo of me on FB that someone posted. I wish to God it was not there, but the person who put it there took it, owns it and posted it. I have no recourse to have it removed.

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I agree. I have philosophical issues against FB. I'd really prefer my family have nothing to do with it. Yet I have a blog and post photos of dd and dh and other people's kids (with permission) there. No names attached anywhere.

 

I know there is a photo of me on FB that someone posted. I wish to God it was not there, but the person who put it there took it, owns it and posted it. I have no recourse to have it removed.

 

Report the photo. You might be surprised at how quickly FB responds to a complaint.

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Well that's your big problem right there. The "very, very young" seem to put EVERYTHING on fb. I'm betting there is a feeling, especially since you don't 'do' fb that you just don't get it and are too old and out of touch with current techno times.

 

As for printing them off photos, they can still put them on fb, all they have to do is scan them in. Or even just take a picture of the picture and with the higher quality cameras, even those come out pretty good.

 

Yes, I'm sure that's it. Old fuddy duddies that we are! She does, indeed, put it ALL on facebook. :)

 

But if we printed the photos (making sure there were no identifying features in them), and she scanned them or took photos of them... Wouldn't that alleviate the geo-tagging issue? Unless, of course, she took a photo of the photos while sitting in our driveway!

 

Aaaaaggggh. I don't know. Part of me wants to just say, "To heck with it: Post away!"

 

Another part of me is genuinely concerned about this person's acquaintances having access to our address.

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You know, if your main concern is geo-tagging, and the person isn't reasonable, then at some point swipe the person's phone and disable geo-tagging yourself. :D Distract them with some liquor and chocolate cake and let someone else pull off the Secret Mission... It takes about 15 seconds to disable geo-tagging on a phone. If you don't want to do it secretively, then ask if you can see their pictures and hang on to their phone scrolling through pictures for awhile. You should garner plenty of time to disable the geo-tags.

 

Yes, I'm aware that my suggestion isn't the most politically, morally or legally correct solution. :coolgleamA:

 

:lol:

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I'd have to join FB in order to be able to report it.

 

You don't need to have a facebook account to report something. They have a reporting form especially for people who don't have an account.

 

http://www.facebook.com/help/contact/?id=274459462613911

 

There is a box for someone is posting photos of me or my child without permission

 

See also the bottom of this page:

 

http://www.facebook.com/help/?ref=pf#!/help/181495968648557/

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Yes, I'm sure that's it. Old fuddy duddies that we are! She does, indeed, put it ALL on facebook. :)

 

But if we printed the photos (making sure there were no identifying features in them), and she scanned them or took photos of them... Wouldn't that alleviate the geo-tagging issue? Unless, of course, she took a photo of the photos while sitting in our driveway!

 

Aaaaaggggh. I don't know. Part of me wants to just say, "To heck with it: Post away!"

 

Another part of me is genuinely concerned about this person's acquaintances having access to our address.

 

 

Well if the issue is the geo tagging, then even stopping the photos won't necessarily help.

 

If she's one of those that 'checks in' everywhere she goes and constantly updates her status, you'd still be out there.

 

FB update: "Leaving now to go see so and so."

 

FB update: "Just got here!" hits the 'checking in' feature or whatever it is, which basically puts on a map where she is.

 

My girlfriend used to do that all the time till I got on her that basically she was telling any crazy that she, and her dog, were at the dog park/pet place where ever and her house was home alone without even a dog to stop someone from busting in, or worse busting in and waiting for her. She stopped after that conversation, but then she's in her 30's adn has common sense.

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You don't need to have a facebook account to report something. They have a reporting form especially for people who don't have an account.

 

http://www.facebook....274459462613911

 

There is a box for someone is posting photos of me or my child without permission

 

See also the bottom of this page:

 

http://www.facebook....81495968648557/

Thank you.

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Well if the issue is the geo tagging, then even stopping the photos won't necessarily help.

 

If she's one of those that 'checks in' everywhere she goes and constantly updates her status, you'd still be out there.

 

FB update: "Leaving now to go see so and so."

 

FB update: "Just got here!" hits the 'checking in' feature or whatever it is, which basically puts on a map where she is.

 

 

 

Thanks for explaining that. I had no idea. It makes the geo-tagging of the pics a lot less ... significant. In this case, any way.

 

 

 

And thanks for the links to facebook for reporting photos. That is good to have on hand.

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