Snow Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Would people who know you in real life be surprised by reading your posts? Are you more honest in an online forum because of the anonymity? Are you more guarded when posting in online forums (perhaps from getting eaten alive at one point?) or do you put your whole heart and soul out there? I tend to write what I really think and I bet some people in my life would be surprised by my opinions. Especially how secretly spiritual I am - I don't discuss that much at all in real life. I usually put my whole heart into the discussions i am a part of, but feel like perhaps I should be more guarded, since its kind of dog eat dog out there sometimes, (yes, even at the hive), ya know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I am pretty much the same person online and IRL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I am the same in both places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I'm the same overly chatty, nosy, advice-giving person I am here. Oh well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I work very hard to be the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I am pretty much a "what you see is what you get" person. I TRY to stay away from threads that make me roll my eyes, but sometimes I just can't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NittanyJen Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I am about the same. Once in a while, I recall that these words are permanent, and that people read the posts in their own tone if voice rather than in mine. and I end up deleting. Also in real life, autocorrect on my iPad does not make so many strange edits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I think I am the same. Mostly listening, and occasionally interjecting an opinion if I think I have something to add. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I'm the same. I would never post something on a public forum that I wouldn't say IRL. I think if I felt I couldn't be as open and honest IRL as I am here I would need to really be evaluating who I was associating with IRL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I know 20 plus people from these boards in real life. What you see and what you read is what you get. Now - I do share somethings on this board that I haven't shared in real life simply because people often don't walk up to you and ask you some of the questions asked on this board, but if they did, they would get the same answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 I'm the same. I would never post something on a public forum that I wouldn't say IRL. I think if I felt I couldn't be as open and honest IRL as I am here I would need to really be evaluating who I was associating with IRL. I know 20 plus people from these boards in real life. What you see and what you read is what you get. Now - I do share somethings on this board that I haven't shared in real life simply because people often don't walk up to you and ask you some of the questions asked on this board, but if they did, they would get the same answer. Yes, I agree. I didn't mean to imply that I would give two different opinions on a forum vs in real life, but I tend to share so much more freely on a forum - probably because of opportunity as Jean said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I'm the same. I'm pretty open and honest everywhere. And opinionated. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Would people who know you in real life be surprised by reading your posts? Are you more honest in an online forum because of the anonymity? Probably. I have time to think about what I post here so I actually sound intelligent some of the time when I post. People who know me in real life think I'm a bit dim. Are you more guarded when posting in online forums (perhaps from getting eaten alive at one point?) or do you put your whole heart and soul out there? No. I'm about the same. I'm too cynical to put my heart out there either in real life or on line. I tend to write what I really think and I bet some people in my life would be surprised by my opinions. Especially how secretly spiritual I am - I don't discuss that much at all in real life. Time and place. I usually put my whole heart into the discussions i am a part of, but feel like perhaps I should be more guarded, since its kind of dog eat dog out there sometimes, (yes, even at the hive), ya know? Yeah. No sense in getting your feelings hurt over what a virtual stranger says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I think I talk a bit more irl. I hate typing so I don't elaborate much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I'm more guarded online than I am in real life. I'm very open and honest with my friends IRL. Online, I tend to hold back more. I read all the controversial threads, but I don't post in them much. Mainly because I know that I would likely get "sucked in" and I'd feel like I have to stick with the conversation and keep defending my viewpoints (and I do have quite a few that I'm sure would be seen as controversial). I just don't have the time or energy for that. I get sucked in enough here as it is. ;) If anything, my IRL friends would be surprised at how benign I am on this forum. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I tend to get lost in reading the boards more than replying, especially since there's usually someone else who's said what I was thinking and far more eloquently than I could. Taking my lack of replies into consideration, I would say I probably talk a lot more irl but still a lot of fervent nodding more than replying, ha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I am more honest here than in real real life. Not that I lie irl, lol, just that I don't usually say what I really think very often. There is a bit of a mismatch between my chosen lifestyle and my real personality. Irl, no one ever thinks I have much useful to say, probably because there aren't very many thinkers in my crowd, and many of them couldn't tell you who the vice president is, or what temperature water freezes, etc. We just don't seem to have much in common, and they wouldn't appreciate the real me. :-( ETA: I re-read my words and realized that they sound *really condescending*. I don't mean that they don't think and that I do, but rather, that we think about different things. I, for instance, never seem to care what brand my fabric softener is, and they couldn't care less about the "fiscal cliff". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I think the same. I'm pretty low-drama, and keep my head down and do my thing. I've been on the boards forever, but until lately I spent a lot of time on the high school board, getting all the great advice and info I could pump into my old brain. Now that I'm suddenly barely homeschooling, I've discovered the general (chat) board. I love having this extra free time to read what you are all up to.....crazy group, this. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I am as blunt in real life and on boards. I just don't talk much in real life becuase I just dont't like to talk but I do email my real life close friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Same person here, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I am pretty much the same. It is hard for me to fully express myself without facial expressions and onomatopoeia but I don't say anything here I would not IRL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I'm just me. If people are surprised at my posts IRL then they don't really know me at all. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Would people who know you in real life be surprised by reading your posts? Are you more honest in an online forum because of the anonymity? Are you more guarded when posting in online forums (perhaps from getting eaten alive at one point?) or do you put your whole heart and soul out there? I tend to write what I really think and I bet some people in my life would be surprised by my opinions. Especially how secretly spiritual I am - I don't discuss that much at all in real life. I usually put my whole heart into the discussions i am a part of, but feel like perhaps I should be more guarded, since its kind of dog eat dog out there sometimes, (yes, even at the hive), ya know? No, I'm the same person. Anyone who really knows me in real life -which isn't that many people anymore, actually - would know it was me. But yes, I guard some information. Anything you put on the internet is like shouting it on the street corner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 hmmm. I usually take a bit to warm up to ppl irl. If given the chance, I'll fade off into the background rather than make small talk. So, I'm loads more open and chatty here, and even on the phone. Face to face, I suck. :tongue_smilie: Now, after I get to know ppl...yeah, there's no diff. May God have mercy upon those that stick around that long! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I am the same irl as online. People who know me irl would not be surprised in the least as what I say online I would say to their faces, in the same way etc. Some things in the past I have been more guarded about irl for a short time and vice versa about somethings but eventually it all comes out in the wash. I am one of those people you either love or hate whether online or irl, I wear my heart on my sleeve and shoot from the hip regardless of whether I am talking to someone irl or posting online. I think the 100+ people from here that I speak to daily on fb would attest to that, as would the ones that have met me or spoken to me offline. And I am sure my family and irl friends would recognize what I am saying even if they didn't know my username here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I'm more guarded online than I am in real life. I'm very open and honest with my friends IRL. Online, I tend to hold back more. I read all the controversial threads, but I don't post in them much. Mainly because I know that I would likely get "sucked in" and I'd feel like I have to stick with the conversation and keep defending my viewpoints (and I do have quite a few that I'm sure would be seen as controversial). I just don't have the time or energy for that. I get sucked in enough here as it is. ;) If anything, my IRL friends would be surprised at how benign I am on this forum. :) This sums things up for me, as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shannanlee Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I talk more in real life than online. personality the same though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I am the same. I wear my opinions and my heart on my sleeve, good or bad that's how I am. What you see is what you get.Of course many of these discussions just don't come up IRL. Most people want to talk about the weather, where they're going on Friday night, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I tend to hold back and say less on a topic here. The things I post here are things I do not talk about IRL. When I post things here that happen I do NOT talk about them IRL. It is hard and there are many many things I would love to post about and get thoughts on or just flat out say and seek support on but I do not because it is often very identifying and if someone were to see one thing and then go through my past posts and see other things it would not take much to put it all together. I do not want that. But then there are things that happen IRL that I do not post on facebook or talk about with certain people. I keep my worlds very much seperate. I am not fake but there are things I will not discuss with my very religous (Christian) conservative homeschool friends that I would discuss with my secular homeschool friends. The same goes for other circles, I generally talk about common interests. I do not hide who I am and I am open to answering questions etc but I do not advertise my weirdness (homemade grapenuts...) Maybe I am paranoid. I wish I could have another account with different information about me (ie different number of kids, different location, different sports etc). Sometimes I just need support that I do not get IRL because even IRL people I know who see us all the time do not get it and I do not know anyone who gets it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I am pretty much the same irl. It takes me awhile to get to know people irl and I tend to not do well with small talk but once I get to know someone, I share the same as I do online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in SC Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I post way less than I talk IRL. I'm the same basic person, although, to be absolutely honest, I think I'm much less opinionated/outspoken here than IRL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 Generally speaking I'm me in all places. It could be that I am more.... vulnerable online. I'm more willing to talk about hard things online than in real life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted December 17, 2012 Author Share Posted December 17, 2012 I'm more willing to talk about hard things online than in real life. That's a good way to put it for me also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I'm the same. I'm pretty open and honest everywhere. And opinionated. :D :iagree: This is me, too. What you see (or read) is what you get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I lurked on here for a few years before someone issued a challenge to lurkers and I subscribed and posted and then got up to about 10 posts in two years. With the new forum I'm more mouthy. Not sure why. (Maybe cos there's more things I SHOULD be doing IRL.) IRL I'm very mouthy. I am very aware of the forever accountability of on-line, so I try to be more careful. With both forums I'll happily just go off and avoid phones and chatting for a week or so, so I'm aware that here that I may not be back to continue a conversation for a while. In both forums, I'm quite blunt and can offend easily. IRL people can see the cheeky smile with it and my friends are GOOD friends. I haven't energy for anything else. We've been through a lot and we have wonderful friends that held us together. Still. Here I need to triple think. And edit and edit. (Mostly letters and words that fool around when they should not). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I think I'm the same in real life. A friend reading my posts would not be surprised at all. That said, I don't let random strangers in real life know things about me! I guess in that way I'm more open online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I think I'm different, though it's hard to articulate how and why. I am pretty non-confrontational IRL. I mean, I'll say what I think if someone really wants to know, but I'd just as soon avoid it and I do NOT enjoy debating with people I know. It feels too personal and there's always that possibility that you're touching a nerve you didn't know was there. On a mostly-anonymous internet forum, I tend to be straightforward about my beliefs because Anonymous_A really shouldn't take Anonymous_B's opinions as a personal affront. Though in reality, I know that people do sometimes. I also tend to assume that if Anonymous_A asks a question, they want an honest answer. Like on the tattoo thread, the person asked why some folks don't like tattoos. Responses were honest and some folks were very upset. IRL I would probably know or assume the person didn't want an honest answer about certain things. I fuss about personal issues online. IRL I would not share some of that information because it would not be anonymous. I am much more likely to toot my own horn online, mainly to establish credibility. I'm very understated IRL. I sound wiser online than I am IRL, because IRL, when sh!t happens, I suck at quick thinking. If you ask me what YOU should do, and I have time to think and formulate an answer with no real emotional involvement, I probably make a lot more sense. Also, I just happen to be much better at reading/writing than I am at listening/speaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I'm pretty much the same online as irl. I'm fairly quiet irl and try not to get involved in controversy, but I'm probably more vocal irl than I am on here because I've seen too many posts taken out of context and too many hurt feelings. So I'm more likely to avoid controversy here than irl. By the way, Evanthe, I love your avatar. I had that print on my wall all through my college days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I think I am more reserved online. I was quite reserved in real life until recently but a switch seems to have flipped in my head and I am definitely getting more expressive in real life. I am not backwards in coming forwards anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 No, I am pretty much the same always and everywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted December 17, 2012 Author Share Posted December 17, 2012 Yes, the lack of context, body language etc makes for interesting, and often heated, discussions for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 The people I know IRL would be surprised because I hardly ever talk IRL, much less talk forcefully or with a strong opinion. My husband says I'm a sledgehammer in print but I'm pretty much silent around the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckles Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I'm more reserved online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 My guess is that I'm more open with opinions and struggles here, but people rarely talk to me irl, so I'm not really sure how it compares. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I'm less open and honest here than irl. The people I open up to irl are people who know me well, accept me and who I trust. There are too many people here who are too ready to misinterpret what you're saying and jump on you. And I'm sensitive :001_tt2: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I'm more guarded online than I am in real life. I'm very open and honest with my friends IRL. Online, I tend to hold back more. I read all the controversial threads, but I don't post in them much. Mainly because I know that I would likely get "sucked in" and I'd feel like I have to stick with the conversation and keep defending my viewpoints (and I do have quite a few that I'm sure would be seen as controversial). I just don't have the time or energy for that. I get sucked in enough here as it is. ;) If anything, my IRL friends would be surprised at how benign I am on this forum. :) I tend to get lost in reading the boards more than replying, especially since there's usually someone else who's said what I was thinking and far more eloquently than I could. Taking my lack of replies into consideration, I would say I probably talk a lot more irl but still a lot of fervent nodding more than replying, ha. Both of these describe me pretty well. I'm probably more chatty in real life, but as others have said, I think I warm up more slowly in real life. I guess the fact that I lurked on here for a while kind of negates that statement though! Over the years, I've just learned to be who I am, and I don't feel like I need to veer from that anymore, so I'm who I am no matter where I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galatea Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I've never said anything online anywhere that I wouldn't say in real life, but I'm a very opinionated person everywhere. I definitely hold back personal details, even when relevant to a discussion, because some people just can't stop themselves from attacking someone different from them, as I experienced even here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I am pretty much the same person online and IRL. Me, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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