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Posted

My dh is finishing his degree soon and discussing grad school. I can't help but feel jealous. I always wanted to go to grad school. It was always my intention. That's not how things have turned out. I wish I'd gone years ago when I finished my BS, but I thought at the time that I'd stay home for a few years until my kids were in school and then go.

 

Sigh. I never thought I'd homeschool. Most of the time I'm satisfied, but there's a small part in me that longs for the life I thought I'd have.

 

It is not feasible for me to go to school. Financially and logistically it is not possible while homeschooling.

 

On bad days, like today....well I have to be honest it's been a bad year, I sit and wonder *why* I'm doing what I'm doing. Why am I sacrificing what I want to do in order to stay home and teach my kids?

 

I wish I could have both worlds....now. I feel antsy, bored, and unappreciated.

 

I already volunteer.

Posted

Can you map out a plan to that end? When dh finishes grad school you will start? Then in the interim you could be doing things to get ready like studying for GREs or reviewing undergrad material or filling the freezer with casseroles so you never have to stop studying to feed the people around you....

 

Perhaps when your dc dual-enroll you can bop off and take your own classes to brush up.

 

Mostly tongue-in-cheek, I don't mean to be flip about something that is troublesome, especially this time of year with the February doldrums right around the corner.

 

:grouphug:

Posted

What subject would you have gone to grad school for? What was your interest?

 

 

 

 

Biology.

 

 

I'm just feeling the pangs of regret lately. I have a case of the 'should haves' and it's difficult to shake off. I've been helping my dh study the past couple years and it makes me miss the world I was once part of. I had the opportunity to be a research assistant for my then biology professor and I declined.

 

Shoulda, woulda, coulda.....

Posted

Yep, I have made a few decisions that have left a feeling of regret in me. But, we can't know what the alternative choice would have brought us. The other pursuits would have their own ups and downs, just like life in general.

 

Most likely, there will still be time after your kids hit teen years and become more independent. Then you might miss spending your days together.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:

Posted

Is it possible if you didn't homeschool? Are you in a good school district? Would your kids educational needs be met? Would you be able to afford graduate school with the kids in PS or child care?

 

I've come to accept that I probably won't be able to meet all my personal educational goals anytime soon. It's taken a lot of reflection to come to this realization. I don't have much advice other than I understand the feeling.

Posted

Sounds like you need to find an online option and start taking one class at a time. That way you'd just have a dab left later or eventually get there.

 

BTW, when I started checking into going back to grad school, that's when I got pregnant. :smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5: I love my ds now, but it was kind of a surprise. I had moved on mentally. Now with his apraxia, school isn't even a reasonable option, meaning I'm in for the LONG haul, another 15 years, whew.

Posted
((Hugs)) As the mother of two grown children I can tell you that you will never regret these days.

 

Thanks. It's nice to hear. Because as we all know there are days......

 

 

 

Is it possible if you didn't homeschool? Are you in a good school district? Would your kids educational needs be met? Would you be able to afford graduate school with the kids in PS or child care?

 

We are not in a good school district. My entire state is not a good school district. That's why we decided to home school. As for affording it.....well, possibly. Dh and I should have all debt paid off by the end of 2013 except the house. We've been paying for Dh to go to school, but he has a new job that will reimburse his school. So his last few classes will be covered. He has to apply for approval for grad school tuition reimbursement, and he hasn't decided yet. So, considering that we've been paying for his school the last couple years and no probably won't have to soon it's possible that we could afford for me to go.

 

Dh told me to look for scholarships for home school teachers. He says there's got to be one. :tongue_smilie:

 

I'm afraid of short changing my children. At the same time I wonder if I'm short changing myself.

 

 

 

Sounds like you need to find an online option and start taking one class at a time. That way you'd just have a dab left later or eventually get there. BTW, when I started checking into going back to grad school, that's when I got pregnant. :smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5: I love my ds now, but it was kind of a surprise. I had moved on mentally. Now with his apraxia, school isn't even a reasonable option, meaning I'm in for the LONG haul, another 15 years, whew.

 

I hear you. My oldest has dyslexia, my middle has other SPD and apraxia and I suspect vision issues, and now my youngest is showing signs of dyslexia as well. Sigh. Schooling them is challenging.

 

I keep telling my sister to move here so that we can both go to grad school and swap watching/teaching our kids. She's not biting.

Posted

What would you have missed if you did go the other route? You asked why are you sacrificing what you want to teach the kids? Well, because they are your kids. You do what you feel is best for them because you are responsible for them and you know you will regret it if you don't. A big part of every homeschool should be to establish long lasting strong relationships with your kid. Relationships are more important than anything else. When you are old and looking back relationships are what will last. Relationships are what will matter.

Posted
A big part of every homeschool should be to establish long lasting strong relationships with your kid. Relationships are more important than anything else. When you are old and looking back relationships are what will last. Relationships are what will matter.

 

THIS

Posted

What would you have missed if you did go the other route? You asked why are you sacrificing what you want to teach the kids? Well, because they are your kids. You do what you feel is best for them because you are responsible for them and you know you will regret it if you don't. A big part of every homeschool should be to establish long lasting strong relationships with your kid. Relationships are more important than anything else. When you are old and looking back relationships are what will last. Relationships are what will matter.

 

My friends with kids in school don't seem to be sacrificing relationships with them. What they miss (those who admire or wish they could homeschool and don't) is *time* with the kids. But they still have relationship.

 

Once you introduce SN, it's really more pragmatic: If I send him to school, he won't learn to read. And once the romance, the reason, etc. is gone and you're down to crass duty, it's a little, well, less romantic. I think seeing them come alive once they get over the difficult humps can make up for that. I'm just starting to see dd come into her really interesting stage.

 

When I started, I started because I wanted to and could. Now it's because I *must*. I didn't know I was signing up for 30 years of that. ;)

Posted

It's tough and there is a sense of loss with some of the decisions.

We make the best choices we can, but we can't do it all.

I chose to have my son. I choose to homeschool him.

I won't be making much money as a result. I won't be adding much to my retirement.

It isn't what I'd envisioned for myself.

 

It is good though. It's just hard thinking about the "might have beens" sometimes.

 

:grouphug:

 

Hope you find some peace.

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