Choosing food you don't like?

[KungFuPanda]

I want to add that I DO appreciate that the same food doesn't taste the same to different people. I know there is something 'off' about how I taste some bitter foods. I've tried them time and again, but coffee and beer with always taste strongly, gaggingly, repulsively bitter. I KNOW that other folks don't experience those flavors like I do. A small child might not be able to explain this. They might just declare brussel sprouts 'yucky,' and not understand that they're enduring a bitterness that the rest of the world isn't reading and many don't understand.

[jenangelcat]

I think it depends on what's actually going on. If 'don't like' means gagging then absolutely, don't force the child (or yourself). But if 'don't like' means 'would rather have something else' then I think it's good training to learn to eat a wide variety of foods.

 

Bananas make me gag; fish with small bones make Hobbes do the same. Neither of us is forced to eat them.

 

Laura

 

 

 

Exactly. All the foods that I would list as not liking, are foods that I have texture issues with and would make me gag. I would never force my kids to eat food that provoked that kind of reaction. When my kids say they don't like something, which is everything at the moment, it means they'd rather eat something else.

[Joker]

I allowed my kids to be picky when they were younger, and it hasn't harmed them. They eat a wide variety of foods and it's always been they who decided they wanted to try something new. Oldest loves trying new seafood and is very adventurous with that. Youngest just loves trying new things and gets something new every time we eat out or go to the store.

 

I've become more sensitive to those who are picky since my taste and smell have been screwed up the past year. It's hard for me to choke down most foods right now because everything tastes and smells horrible. I will never make anyone eat something they don't want after the year I've had.

[Luanne]

I never have. I encouraged my daughter to try stuff, but never forced her to eat it once she tried it an didn't like it.

 

I've also heard of people who forced their child to eat something they said they didn't like and it turned out they were allergic to it.

[kitten18]

Agreed! My most adventurous eater- the child who stood at the hot deli counter BEGGING me to buy her a container of the cauliflower-veggie mix- the one who, at 18mos sat in the grocery cart seat hugging broccoli and singing its praises, cannot/will not eat tomato soup- it comes right back up. This child is not being difficult- she will eat ANYTHING- but since the sight/sound/smell of vomit makes me do the same, I don't make her even look at tomato soup. She is a lovely young lady, and I get many compliments on her- and one friend loves to have her over for dinner as she is such a GREAT dinner guest.

I agree. That describes my DD, she's an adventurous eater and really easy to feed but she doesn't like the texture of bananas. I'm not about to force her to eat bananas, there's hundreds of other things she can eat instead.

[Staceyshoe]

Very little sickens me, but there are foods that definitely aren't what I like (greens, kale, certain squashes, etc.). I eat them. I make my kids eat them. My oldest can gag on food that grosses him out, so I don't make him eat it if he gags. But for the most part, eating a very small portion of something that isn't a *taste* preference isn't painful. I tell my kids that we do it because it is good for our bodies. (I don't particularly enjoy exercise either, but I do it because it's good for me. I've had jobs I didn't really enjoy, but they paid the bills. It's part of life.) Occasionally, my oldest--who is my gagging picky eater--will voluntarily take an extra portion of something he doesn't prefer "because I know it's good for my body." I don't think that's a bad habit to instill.

[Rivka]

I'll eat most foods I don't like if I'm a guest, to be polite, but I really can't bear the texture of fatty meat at all. I don't know what I'd do. Usually it's more a matter of flavors I'm not fond of.

 

I remember that once my husband's stepmother, when she first married my husband's father, asked us what our favorite vegetables were. Innocents that we were, we said asparagus was one. She took some frozen asparagus, boiled it for forty-five minutes, and then melted Velveeta on top. It was like asparagus-flavored cotton candy when she was done with it, but I choked it down regardless because she made it for me.

 

I have been pretty tolerant about letting my kids choose what to eat, but I struggle with it these days because my pickier eater is thinner than I am comfortable with.

[Kirch]

 

 

It's a psychological issue and cognitive-behavioral therapy is the solution. Systematic desensitization is very effective in overcoming food phobias. I really wish my MIL had done it with my DH instead of giving in to his manipulation of her. As an adult, his picky eating has caused issues at business functions. I've encouraged him to go to CBT, but I can't force him to go like MIL could have when he was a child.

 

I guess I can see that if the issue is really bad, like if a kid will hardly eat anything or has serious gagging issues with many foods, to the point that its debilitating. But this seems really drastic for general pickiness or for someone who has texture issues with a few foods. There's plenty out there to eat. I'm not going to obsess over it if there are a few things that make my kid gag. Brussels sprouts made me gag as a kid. I haven't missed them as an adult, and I'll eat most everything else. There are lots of drawbacks to being grown up. One of the benefits that I fully enjoy is not having to cook things I don't like. :)

[teachmejoy]

This is an interesting topic. I have one child who will try anything at least once and one child who "says" she doesn't like everything! It drives me crazy. I require everything I put on the table to be tried by all, especially if they haven't had it before. There are basic rules of nutrition that I will require as well. If I didn't, my daughter would only eat candy. On the other hand, I truly believe there are some things you just won't like. My son can't stand pickles, so of course, I never offer them to him. When I do require my daughter to take bites off her plate, I never get gagging, I really believe it's a control issue.

 

On another note, I grew up in a foreign country where it was impolite not to at least try to eat what you were given...with a smile! We are getting ready to go overseas as well and I will require the same from my children (within reason). I don't believe this is a black and white issue and every circumstance is different.

[happypamama]

I eat things I don't like, if they're just part of the meal. I'm not a big fan of pork, but my family likes it, so I will cook it sometimes and eat a little (though I'll generally fill up more on veggies at that meal). I don't make my kids eat things they really don't like. Typically, they're really not very picky, but if they don't want a part of the meal, they can have more of one of the other components. (The only rule is that nobody gets to decide they don't want the veggies and instead eat more of the meat, which is the expensive part. If I know that you like broccoli or brussels sprouts, you don't get to skip them in order to have more meat.)

[Homemama2]

Well, I don't force mine to eat food they hate. They do have to try a bite of whatever foods we cook, but they have no sensory issues like others have mentioned.

 

However, I HAVE forced myself to eat a food I hated. :) When my oldest was 3, he went through a phase where the only veggies he would eat were peas and broccoli. I HATED both, although I like almost every other kind. But since he ate them, I started making them regularly so that he'd eat some vegetables. And of course he'd ask me in his cute little 3 yr. old voice if "Mommy wasn't gonna eat her 'roccli too?" So I grinned and ate the nasty stuff. Now I don't mind eating them, although they aren't my favorites.

[SKL]

In my own home, I don't buy or eat what I despise eating, unless someone has convinced me I need to do it for my health.

 

But if I am a guest of someone else, I will do my very best to eat before I'll hurt their feelings. How much suffering that entails depends on the situation. But yes, I will "bite the bullet" to save another person's feelings if that is what I need to do.

 

Also, in a case where I'm really hungry and don't have many options, it's a lot easier to eat what I would not have personally preferred.

 

Kids need to learn how to be polite and considerate about their preferences. Some of them also need to overcome their tendency to judge a food based on (a) its color or shape or unfamiliarity, or (B) the mood they happen to be in when they sit down at the table.

 

I don't set out each day to force my kids to eat what they hate, but I also don't tolerate what amounts to blatant selfishness and wastefulness. As their parent, it's my job to teach them the appropriate reaction to food that someone else has bought, prepared, and served to them. (Even if it's coming from their lowly mom.)

 

There's also the matter of nutrition. Parents serve, say, vegetables because kids supposedly need them. I don't think parents should have to go to extremes to come up with a food that meets the high expectations of an extremely picky child. Granted, I generally just serve fruit with dinner rather than fight over vegetables with my 5/6yos. But if a whole family is having broccoli, I don't agree with making a special arrangement for a picky kid. Especially someone old enough to apply "mind over matter."

[momtoamiracle]

there are some foods my son will not eat and I don't make him. Like peaches. He hates them.

 

 

He has to eat most vegetables tho. However I really dont' fix a wide variety of them. Most dh refuses to eat. Some I don't care for or I don't have available. The ones I do cook, he has to eat at least some. I fix him a small portion and he has to have a few bites of it. Otherwise I generally fix foods we all like.

[AK_Mom4]

What worked for us was to always have a "safe" food at each meal - something everyone would eat. Then, we encouraged them to try the new foods, but it was no big deal if they didn't. Now that they are older, the kids will almost always try something new. They may not like it and may choose not to eat it, but they aren't afraid to try.

[mommaduck]

I've heard of parents who force kids to eat stuff they don't like, but do those same parents make themselves eat food they don't like? This is one of those things I just wonder about. I have never made my kids eat foods they don't like because I'm sure as heck not going to eat food I don't like. My dd20's stepmom forced her to eat foods she didn't like and it's one of the things my dd resents about that woman.

I loved lima beans (the green ones) growing up. I thought everyone in the family did. After I left home, it came out that my stepdad could not stand lima beans. This man ate lima beans, even seconds sometimes, the entire time I was growing up. He told me that he ate them because he wanted us to eat them and choose our own likes or dislikes, not because he liked or disliked them. Now, he also LOVED sauerkraut, the bitter kind, not the sweet. He made me sit and eat that stuff. It affected my gag reflex (now I would not put my kids through that, but he did put me through it). Yes, I was made to eat what was on my plate. Seconds were optional; firsts were not. I was made to eat what I liked and didn't like. My folks ate what they liked and what they didn't like. I'm not as strict, but I do have a thing of not being a short order cook, not everyone will like everything, but someone likes it and if it's fixed, please eat it. Also, you are not allowed to complain about something that you have never tried before.

[PhotoGal]

I was a picky eater as a kid. My parents had the rule that you eat what was served or nothing. Sometimes I ate nothing. I also didn't like school lunch. I was pretty skinny as a child. :) They did make me drink milk, which I hated (still hate). It wasn't until college that I started liking vegetables (broccoli on pizza! LOL). Though mostly I ate pretty badly in college until I started cooking for myself.

 

I have a lot of sympathy for my kids when they don't like dinner, but we do have some rules:

 

(1) If you don't like something, don't say anything. (No complaining/whining)

(2) You can have something else - usually leftovers from a previous meal - but you have to wait ten minutes or so (sometimes they end up eating rather than waiting if it is something they don't hate).

(3) If you want a treat, you must eat a serving of vegetables of some kind first.

[Lady Florida.]

I don't eat food I don't like, and neither does dh. We don't make ds eat food he doesn't like (we didn't make dss do it either when he was at home). Now when ds was young, I did make him try new foods several times before deciding whether or not he liked it, but at 15 he knows what he truly doesn't like.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I have the trifecta of picky eaters at my house, so my refrain is, "If you don't like what I'm making, get yourself your own meal."

 

I don't force my kids to eat something they don't like, but I refuse to accept that they don't like something if they never even try it. I've always tried new things, even things I thought I might not like. Some I did like, some I didn't. One kid will try things. DH and the other kid claim not to like the majority of food items, even though those items have never passed their lips. Whatever. I make healthy meals, with lots of variety. If you don't like any of it, then starve.

[Lady Florida.]

I'll eat most foods I don't like if I'm a guest, to be polite, but I really can't bear the texture of fatty meat at all.

 

I can't either, and there's no choking it down. My gag reflex won't allow me to swallow it.

[Spy Car]

Of course I eat foods I don't like. It is simple manners (IMHO). I politely eat everything from liver to crickets (yes, really). I have even learned that I was wrong about foods I previously thought I disliked. For example, my mom always made DRY pork, so I thought I hated it. I tried making it after I was married, and love it. Same thing with brussel sprouts - I thought they were awful, but now sautéed brussel sprouts are actually one of my favorite foods.

 

Oh, here's another example. When I first had coffee I thought, "huh, what's the big deal?" It was bitter and just awful, but I kept drinking it because it was sociable to have a cup when visiting friends. Now I have it every morning.

 

Our palates change, just like everything else. I'm glad I haven't denied myself coffee or pork simply because I decided never to try them again.

 

Oh, and I feel obligated to say that I never "force" my kids to eat anything, but they are served a small amount and are required to eat that before they are allowed seconds of their favorites. If they dislike the food enough that they choose to leave it on their plate, then they know not to ask for something else.

 

Crickets, especially if freshly fire-roasted to the perfect golden-brown level of toastiness, are under rated.

 

Bill

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Oh, I wanted to add that I do eat things I don't like (as long as they are gluten-free) when people serve them to me. I even drank coffee a few times to be polite because it was served to me even though I declined. I just don't choose to eat things I don't like. Fortunately for me, there are very few things I don't like. I don't like raw green peppers, but will eat them cooked. I don't like melon of any kind, nor bi-valves, like oysters, clams or mussels. I don't like squid or octopus. I don't really like shrimp, either, unless it's part of a dish where other flavors cover over it. That's it. And I can confidently say I don't like those things, because I have tried all of them more than once. I will and do eat just about everything else.

[ScoutTN]

I think it depends on what's actually going on. If 'don't like' means gagging then absolutely, don't force the child (or yourself). But if 'don't like' means 'would rather have something else' then I think it's good training to learn to eat a wide variety of foods.

 

 

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

I think many kids need lots of exposure and encouragement to like new things, especially veggies.

We try to be ever expanding our lists of foods we like, within reason and with balance. We ask our kids to try new things often and to take a bite or two of many things, but not to eat a whole serving of something they hate. I try to always include something they really like in each meal.

Mealtime should be nice, not stressful and frustrating, whenever possible!

[ScoutTN]

Crickets, especially if freshly fire-roasted to the perfect golden-brown level of toastiness, are under rated.

 

Bill

 

 

I know a missionary in the Himalayas who has even come to appreciate yak eyeballs!

I'm glad I'm not called upon to be that courageous! Pate is a stretch for me!

You can have those crickets, Bill... eeeuww!

[Wheres Toto]

I've eaten steak and kidney pie to be polite, as an adult. As a kid, I spent hours sitting alone at the table because I wasn't allowed to get up until I finished everything on my plate. I don't think that led to healthy eating habits in the long run.

 

I have one kid who has sensory issues and would starve before eating something he didn't like. It's not that he's pushing for junk food - this kid also only eats two kinds of candy (which are really one -Hershey bars and Hershey kisses). We give him something from his selection of acceptable foods, which does give him a decent variety that includes protein, whole grains, and vegetables. Very occasionally, in a low-key way, we give him the chance to try something new.

 

My oldest was picky as a young kid but now eats just about anything. A picky little kid doesn't necessarily translate into a picky teenager or a picky adult.

 

My youngest eats just about anything and has no problem trying new things constantly.

[LaxMom]

Of course I eat foods I don't like. It is simple manners (IMHO). I politely eat everything from liver to crickets (yes, really). I have even learned that I was wrong about foods I previously thought I disliked. For example, my mom always made DRY pork, so I thought I hated it. I tried making it after I was married, and love it. Same thing with brussel sprouts - I thought they were awful, but now sautéed brussel sprouts are actually one of my favorite foods.

 

Oh, here's another example. When I first had coffee I thought, "huh, what's the big deal?" It was bitter and just awful, but I kept drinking it because it was sociable to have a cup when visiting friends. Now I have it every morning.

 

Our palates change, just like everything else. I'm glad I haven't denied myself coffee or pork simply because I decided never to try them again.

 

Oh, and I feel obligated to say that I never "force" my kids to eat anything, but they are served a small amount and are required to eat that before they are allowed seconds of their favorites. If they dislike the food enough that they choose to leave it on their plate, then they know not to ask for something else.

 

I agree. I am of the "if it is served to you, the only thing to do is eat it graciously" school of etiquette. Example: broccoli hurts my stomach. Like, doubled over, stabbing pains within a few minutes of eating it. If I was a guest in someone's home and they served broccoli, I would eat it, and excuse myself at some point to dig a (likely fuzzy and expired) Pepto tablet out of my purse.

 

I want to add that I DO appreciate that the same food doesn't taste the same to different people. I know there is something 'off' about how I taste some bitter foods. I've tried them time and again, but coffee and beer with always taste strongly, gaggingly, repulsively bitter. I KNOW that other folks don't experience those flavors like I do. A small child might not be able to explain this. They might just declare brussel sprouts 'yucky,' and not understand that they're enduring a bitterness that the rest of the world isn't reading and many don't understand.

 

This supports a correlation I've seen in people who like or do not like stevia. Those who like or are neutral on licorice seem to like stevia just fine, and do not detect any licorice taste (other than tasting it on its own). Those who dislike licorice immediately detect the same taste in stevia, no matter how masked it is by other flavors. This has led me to believe that it's not so much about flavor as those who dislike licorice are actually detecting a compound there that is also present in stevia, which those of us who like or are neutral on licorice just don't detect at all.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I don't make my kids eat things though I do request they try a couple bites. I, however, eat stuff I don't like. It won't kill me and I was taught it was polite especially if I am a guest. I never understand people who not just dislike things but make it a huge deal. Say no thanks if you want and move on.

[Freckles]

My food problem is onions. I can't eat onions. Just.can't.do.it. So going out to eat or eating at someone's home is a pain. I do have to tell them no onions because I will not eat anything with onions. My MIL once tried to trick me. I took one bite of something she made, and she is a fantastic cook, I had all I could do not to throw up all over the table and I had to say sorry I can't eat this. But to be fair she refused to take another bite of a mashed rutabaga dish I made. I was not at all offended. Apparently the taste was just too yucky to her.

 

 

This, This, This is my life!!! You understand me. :hurray:

 

The first sentence I learned in Germany and China was "no onions please."

 

I can't stand it when people tell me to pick them out. The taste and texture are enough to send me over the edge.

They are in everything!!

 

No. I don't make the children in my house eat what they truly despise. When they were little I had a 2 bite rule. Now that they are older, I truly know dd13 doesn't like spaghetti. They will eat all kinds of food though. It works for us.

[Rivka]

A picky little kid doesn't necessarily translate into a picky teenager or a picky adult.

 

Agreed. I was an annoyingly picky kid who wouldn't eat mixed-together foods or anything with a sauce until well into my teens. Now, as an adult, I eat and enjoy foods like jellyfish and eel, and very much enjoy trying new foods and new cuisines. So for those who force eating (apparently, for some, to the point of the child gagging and throwing up at the table) - your child could very easily have grown up to be a good eater without all the drama and force.

[violamama]

My kids are not particularly picky, so we do the "breakfast and lunch will have something you like, dinner is all mine and you can if if you want to" thing.

[nmoira]

Why should I eat food I don't like? I'll try anything, usually more than once, but there comes a point where I decide it's not lack of familiarity but rather genuine dislike.

 

Beets? Never again. For me eating beets is the culinary equivalent of wearing a hairshirt, and I'm not going there. I love calmari, but ika? Uck (this one I tried only once... the texture is not for me).

[KungFuPanda]

I agree. I am of the "if it is served to you, the only thing to do is eat it graciously" school of etiquette. Example: broccoli hurts my stomach. Like, doubled over, stabbing pains within a few minutes of eating it. If I was a guest in someone's home and they served broccoli, I would eat it, and excuse myself at some point to dig a (likely fuzzy and expired) Pepto tablet out of my purse.

This supports a correlation I've seen in people who like or do not like stevia. Those who like or are neutral on licorice seem to like stevia just fine, and do not detect any licorice taste (other than tasting it on its own). Those who dislike licorice immediately detect the same taste in stevia, no matter how masked it is by other flavors. This has led me to believe that it's not so much about flavor as those who dislike licorice are actually detecting a compound there that is also present in stevia, which those of us who like or are neutral on licorice just don't detect at all.

 

I FORGOT about those. I cannot stand black licorice OR stevia. They both taste horribly bitter to me. As a flavor, I DO appreciate what 'bitter' brings to the table, but some things are SOOOO nasty-bitter that I cannot enjoy them.

[caroljenn]

I am one of those "very picky kids" just grown up. There are dozens of foods that I detest, I mean truly detest. I wish I liked more veggies, fish, etc., but I really don't. Some of them, namely Brussels sprouts, Lima beans, beets, and other strong smelling/tasting items will actually make me gag, and I'm 46!!

 

I know that your sense of taste is related to your sense of smell, and I have a very sensitive nose too. I can smell mold, smoke, perfume, miles away, and at hyper-sensitivity is a physiological thing, not a choice. I also read that your taste buds are shaped differently on different places on your tongue. People like me, who have ultra-sensitive taste buds, taste things differently because our taste buds are shaped differently than other people's. So my taste buds will let more of the food down into the taste receptors on my tongue where my hubby's will not - I can taste things that he can't, which makes him like more foods than me, I can taste the hints of bitterness or whatever is icky where he cannot.

 

I don't make my kids eat anything. I do usually ask if they'd like to try something, and occasionally make them take one bite, but not more than that. As someone who is picky, I think it's insensitive to think that everyone should just deal with it and like what you like.

[Rebel Yell]

I don't have to force, intimidate, or threaten. They know the rule. They try a bite, if they don't like it, they're free to spit it out or whatever. They move on to the next thing. I don't make them sit and eat a plate full of it. Just a bite. I don't serve spoiled food. I'm actually not sure what spoiled food has to do with it? Maybe I missed a post?

 

Well, with spiled food- what I asked was: if you (general you, not just the poster I'm quoting) makes a child eat a food, and the child refuses... so the child sits at the table from dinnertime until bedtime. The food is served again for breakfast- kid still refuses to eat it, now it;s lunch time. That food has sat out so long it;s no longer safe to eat. So: do you make them eat the bad/old food, or do you cook up another helping of the same food and keep repeating until they eat it? I ask because I was told my my pediatrician to keep serving the old food, and make a new dish of it if they stuill refused and it had gotten too old to eat. That just sounded somewhere between cruel and insane to me.

 

 

I guess I can see that if the issue is really bad, like if a kid will hardly eat anything or has serious gagging issues with many foods, to the point that its debilitating. But this seems really drastic for general pickiness or for someone who has texture issues with a few foods. There's plenty out there to eat. I'm not going to obsess over it if there are a few things that make my kid gag. Brussels sprouts made me gag as a kid. I haven't missed them as an adult, and I'll eat most everything else. There are lots of drawbacks to being grown up. One of the benefits that I fully enjoy is not having to cook things I don't like. :)

 

Right! If it;s one or two foods for a child who otherwise eats a wide variety of the foods he;s common;y served, I would not go to the expense of therapy.

 

I agree. I am of the "if it is served to you, the only thing to do is eat it graciously" school of etiquette. Example: broccoli hurts my stomach. Like, doubled over, stabbing pains within a few minutes of eating it. If I was a guest in someone's home and they served broccoli, I would eat it, and excuse myself at some point to dig a (likely fuzzy and expired) Pepto tablet out of my purse.

 

 

This supports a correlation I've seen in people who like or do not like stevia. Those who like or are neutral on licorice seem to like stevia just fine, and do not detect any licorice taste (other than tasting it on its own). Those who dislike licorice immediately detect the same taste in stevia, no matter how masked it is by other flavors. This has led me to believe that it's not so much about flavor as those who dislike licorice are actually detecting a compound there that is also present in stevia, which those of us who like or are neutral on licorice just don't detect at all.

 

I do not like Stevia- never noticed a licorice taste though- just bitter- with every brand/variety- liquid, powder, etc. Hot tea or cold foods. And I HATE anise- oh my gosh- if even ONE cookie on the cookie plate has anise in it- the entire plate is poison to me- I can taste it in every cookie, even when other people can't. And I can even taste it when I didn;t know there was ever a anise cookie on the plate.

[caroljenn]

Sitting at the dinner table until bedtime and then being served the same food the next day?? Seriously? Who does that? Is this the Middle Ages or the 21st century? That's just meant to break a child's spirit, and to show them who's boss. That really bothers me.

[Critterfixer]

This is interesting. One of my own personal goals for the coming year is to be more open to foods I don't like, and to make a theme for the month with it. So January might be Greens. At least once a week I plan to eat greens, prepared in various ways just to see if I can find a way to tolerate them. I already have found ways to add in vegetables to stocks and soups (THANK YOU MOM for my immersion blender!).

I'm still very picky (and now gluten-free and soy-free due to allergic issues). I've even got fruits that I simply can't get down one way, but I've been able to get around it by playing around with how they are fixed.

I'd hoped to make it a fun thing for the whole family--sort of science experiments with food. And if we all run gagging to the trashcan, we'll be doing it together!