How do you keep a low grocery budget?

[Esperella]

I'm feeling overwhelmed lately. I feel like years of reading forums has warped my mind into a very not normal view of how things should be. I should start by saying I was a latch key kid, had a very dysfunctional home life, and never learned any sort of cooking/cleaning/budgeting/parenting stuff from my mother. I am starting to realize that it truly is putting me at a disadvantage and now I'm in over my head.

 

From my reading here, and at other homeschool and at natural parenting forums, it seems that everyone:

 

Has a super clean house

Homeschools a billion subjects with a billion children, and also adds in a bunch of outside activities and homeschool/church stuff

works out

cooks everything from scratch

cooks mostly organic food

has very low grocery budgets.

 

I've always been picky about what my kids eat, we were vegetarian for many ears and just started eating meat again about 3 years ago. We try to eat organic and local meat. Since we've moved its been so hard to find the quality of meat and dairy we had in Idaho, where I could get everything from the farmer. Here, I can't even find local pastured meat at whole foods (which I have to drive over 30 min to get to). Since I started reading all the threads about the standard american diet (while pregnant with my first 6 years ago) I've been cutting out more and more processed food while trying to make allowances in order to not be too rigid. My oldest has SPD and is very picky, but my 4 yr old is picking up how to be picky from him, my 2 yr old will eat anything. ANYWAY my point is I dont see how you guys do it. I'm cooking 2-3 hours a day and my grocery budget is embarrassingly high. I cook whole foods, bulk organic rices, beans, flour, grind my own wheat, make my own bread, chocolate sauce, ketchup, mayo, kefir, granola bars, mac and cheese, pasta sauce, pizza dough. All the things I see thrown around on some boards as a way to cut costs, but mine are going up. Not to mention time. I read the things other people are making for dinner, then I think, "well I can do that!" and it takes over 2 hours to make it. What am I doing wrong? Do people eat like this every night? I am starting to feel like some frozen ravioli from costco is akin to ::gasp:: tater tot casserole.

 

I'm starting to wear myself out and it's not pretty. I dont have time to keep up anymore. I'm cleaning at least 2-3 hours a day, staying up till 2:00 trying to finish everything and then trying to get up at 7:00 to start school. We aren't doing any outside activities right now, and I'm not even doing anything FUN with school, like art or science or projects. I'm barely keeping up with the basics. I miss just sitting and hanging out with my kids, but I can't keep up with all of it. DH wants me to make a set list of like, 8-12 meals and rotate through them but I dont even know what to pick at this point I'm so exhausted. It doesn't help we just moved from a 1900 sq foot house to a 3700 sq foot house in October and its waaaaay to much house for me (its a rental close to DH's job). We aren't close to any of the cheaper food stores anymore and everything is just so expensive. I used to go to 3-5 grocery stores a week to try and save money but now they're all too far away to do that.

 

I just feel like, in every thread about food, people toss around "make everything from scratch like I do and it's so much cheaper and healthier". Well, how do you do it? What I'm doing now isn't something I can keep up long term. I mean, I need to know everything, what you eat for snacks, dinners, lunches (I think I have breakfasts handled).How much time does it take you? How much does it cost? I have a stand up freezer, but one level is taken up with milk most of the time. I'll take any and all advice. I grew up eating school breakfasts and lunches, cold sugar cereal on weekends, kool ade and bologna wonderbread sandwiches, fast food or no dinners. Please help me!!

[Arcadia]

From my reading here, and at other homeschool and at natural parenting forums, it seems that everyone:

 

Has a super clean house

Homeschools a billion subjects with a billion children, and also adds in a bunch of outside activities and homeschool/church stuff

works out

cooks everything from scratch

cooks mostly organic food

has very low grocery budgets.

 

My house is marginally clean, my kids outside activites is so that we get couple time.

Working out is chasing after my very active kids.

I don't cook everything from scratch. We have "just need to heat up" meals for when anyone of us is sick. We avoid processed food but do not eliminate it. Doing everything from scratch is generally healthier but it does not mean it is cheaper everytime.

We do cook mostly organic food and have a low grocery expense because fruits and vegetables are not that pricy here.

 

 

My oldest has SPD and is very picky, but my 4 yr old is picking up how to be picky from him, my 2 yr old will eat anything. ....... DH wants me to make a set list of like, 8-12 meals and rotate through them but I dont even know what to pick at this point I'm so exhausted.

 

How about getting your oldest and 4 yr old to help you come up with the menu.

[UmMusa]

Oh my gosh, I know how you feel! I started to feel like that after a couple of months of being on these boards. It really seemed like everyone is how you described. However. It isn't. And I wonder the same thing on those 'what's for dinner' topics where I read menus like those at nice hotels and restaurants and I'm like :bored:

Don't compare yourself to the general feel here b/c truthfully, no one is what that looks like. That image comes to you after lots of people post stuff and then it seems like everyone is like that. No one has or does all of the things on your list at the same time everyday. I do make a lot of food from scratch, but we eat that Costco ravioli too! And we go through packaged bread , too, when I just can't get it together to make my own. And I'm fine with that.

 

Chill yourself out for a few days and see if you feel better about school and home life. Pick 8-12 meals you like to make and let those be the ones you rotatelike your husband suggested. I'm just saying... life is short. Try to enjoy some of it.

[Scook86]

Please don't compare yourself to the others on the boards. No one has it all together. You need to figure out the things that are truly important to your family and let the rest go. We probably ate out 2 or 3 times this week and I don't feel bad about it at all! :) Just do what works for your family and stop trying to "keep up" with others. Everyone has their pitfalls. I promise.

[Dory]

Things are never as they appear. I cook a lot from scratch and avoid processed foods but we still have the odd junk night to give me a break. I don't work out anymore because I'm busy chasing animals and kids. When I cook I tend to cook stuff that will survive the freezer and then double portion. I get nights off then with those. And my house is bordering on a wreck for 3/4 of the week. We clean hard before weekends so that we can enjoy company and play games ( those usually end up being processed or frozen dinner nights).

Don't compare yourself to other people, especially when you are only seeing a part of what's really going on. No one is perfect and no one is the perfect mom, wife, or homemaker.

[Freckles]

First off, It sounds like you are amazing. There is no way I could keep up with the pressure you are putting on yourself. I keep a picked up house, but it's not spotless.

I deep clean by rotation

laundry-Mon

bathrooms-Tue

Dusting-Wed

Th-vacuum

Fri- what ever I didn't get to

I do a general pick up of stuff as I go throughout the day. My kids aren't little anymore. They help me now. It was harder when they were smaller. They were only allowed one toy at a time outside of their rooms except for toddlers. I had a basket in the living room for baby toys.

 

I cook from scratch when I have the time and energy. For the most part, I do a blend of from scratch and convience foods.

I do not make my own pasta, tomato sauce, condiments, or bread except for holidays.

 

I try not to buy meat that is more than 3 dollars a pound. We eat a lot of ground beef, chicken, chuck roast, pork tenderloin, corned beef. I can't afford organic

 

I buy fresh, frozen veggies. I will buy green beans in a can for back-up

 

This is what I'm making this week. My dd is allergic to corn and wheat, but her allergist said she could have the most highly processed white bread available, and it was futile to try and escape high fructose corn syrup. We limit where we can

 

Sunday: Chuck roast in the crockpot with carrots and celery. Baked Sweet potatoes. Roasted brussel sprouts with olive oil/butter and dried cranberries. Vanilla cake with buttercream frosting (from scratch because I don't have littles under foot.)

 

Monday: Left over pot roast heated up and put on hamburger buns with fresh baby spinach and provolone cheese. Mashed potatoes from Costco. They come in a two pack. I add cream cheese and milk or cream to make them yummy. vanilla ice cream for dessert.

 

Tuesday: Corned beef in the crockpot... slice or shred when done serve with heated sauerkraut and swiss cheese and rye bread (store bought) I make my own Russian dressing. a little Mayo, a little ketchup, and chopped dill pickle.

 

Wed: butternut squash raviolli from costco. It comes in a 2 pack. I gently brown butter in a saute pan and add sage for a very simple sauce. We will probably have green beans with this.

 

Th: thaw out frozen chicken breasts and slice into tenders. coat with milk and shake in a ziplock with flour and paprika or seasoned salt. Fry in peanut oil or coconut oil. drain on paper towels. Sauce is franks buffalo sauce heated with a little butter and brown sugar. pour over fried chicken and serve with celery and carrot sticks. Bob's Blue Cheese dressing I get at Costco

 

Friday: baked cod breaded with panko from Costco. Macaroni and cheese (from scratch or family size velveeta and shells if I have it)

Sat: Pork tenderloin in the crockpot. shredded and served on a hamburger bun with Carolina barbeque sauce and home made coleslaw. shredded cabbage, mayo, white vinegar, sugar, salt and pepper. potato chips and baked beans from a can. I will probably make some cup cakes from scratch.

 

I also make spaghetti sauce with canned tomatoes and package noodles

a million different dishes with ground beef.

We have meat 6/7 meals. My husband has about 5% body fat. He is all muscle. We tried to go vegetarian, but he was so hungry.

I always keep 3 kinds of beans in my pantry. canned from Costco to make burritoes, chili, soup, etc...

 

My husband takes leftovers for lunches. My kids pack sandwiches, salads with spinach, feta cheese, almonds. Hummus with carrots and celery. Mixed nuts. I don't eat big lunches. I usually have a piece of sour dough toast with peanut butter or cheese. Today I made a tuna fish sandwich with fritos.

I always have 2 gallons of whole milk in the fridge at one time. We drank skim for years until I realized we would rather have the higher fat content and less sugar.

 

I usually spend about 30 min to an hour cooking dinner. If I make dessert, it might take me a couple of hours, but my kids are back in ps. I have the time.

 

I rotate shop from Costco for large meat, milk, bread purchases to my local grocery store for variety and small stuff every other pay period. On payday I spend about 225 dollars including toiletries. That lasts about 10 days. I spend 50-70 the four days before payday getting stuff we've run out of. Fruits, veggies, treats, eggs We eat out once a pay period to places like 5 Guys or Mexican. I now spend about 600/month on groceries including toiletries and cleaning. This is a huge jump up for us. When my baby was small I had 50 dollars/week and WIC. If you live anywhere near an H.E.B, I can tell you about the freshness policy. Our family ate well because of this policy. I would find outdated meat, cheese, etc..., and they had to replace it with fresh for free.

 

I don't claim to be overly concerned with organic, plastic, canned food etc... I'm just trying to feed my family. They tell me they love what I serve. I don't ban sugar, fat, carbs, meat We preach moderation and exercise. I don't know if any of this helped, but I hope so. I haven't read any of the posts above me because it took me forever to type this. Hopefully, it won't be too much of a repeat.

[Esperella]

Oh, Freckles thank you so much! That was very helpful to me. That's another thing I just have trouble wrapping my head around. One day research says only eat meat and veggies, the next it's vegetarian, and I'm like, can't it just be whole foods, everything in moderation? I feel I just can't do anything right.

 

 

I appreciate the comments. I think I may have misspoke, because it's not that I'm "keeping up" with people because I care what they think, it's more that I really dont know what is normal. I don't know what people eat. It sounds so silly, but the real life friends I have either eat only hamburger helper type meals every night, which we don't want to do, or they live on farms and have access to fresh food and don't allow any sort of sugar or packaged food, which is also something we don't want. I have been feeling like if I can't do these magical, healthy, culinary wonders every night I'm setting my children up for a life of obesity and diabetes. Growing up dinners were seriously pizza, mcdonalds, bar food (my step dad worked at a bar part time in the evenings), mexican food (from the restaurant my mom worked for), and an occasional meatloaf or taco night. Most night, we just ate cold cereal, tv dinners, or poptarts for dinner.

 

I tried asking my boys to help pick meals and you know what the ONLY thing they want is? Doritos and Annies Mac and Cheese. So, yeah :laugh:

[Reya]

My grocery "budget" (meaning what I end up spending) is $55 a week.

 

1) I cook from scratch. FRESH FOOD IS CHEAPER. Anyone who says otherwise is a bad cook.

 

2) I buy my staples at ALDI.

 

3) I use coupons for cereal.

 

4) I shop from the circular, freeze meat, and plan my menus around what veggies are on sale that week. Also, with Safeway, I get 20% ADDITIONAL off all produce, and since I only buy specials for produce.....

 

I once spent $35 a week for a year feeding 3 of us. That was without coupons, and our diets were, in all honesty, the best they've ever been.

[Reya]

Also, I freeze extra portions routinely. I also make baggies of "stuff for stew" that I make into a big pot 2-4 times a year. The price for "new" stuff (not scraps) is usually $5 for 3 or more GALLONS of thick stew.

 

I don't skimp on spices. I have probably 70 different kinds. Seriously. People walk into my kitchen and say they didn't even know there were that many in the WORLD.

 

I loooooove ethnic groceries. I like creative, fun, exciting foods. Sometimes, I want a lazy potroast, but mostly, if I'm going to take the effort to cook, I want to make something exciting to eat. I have exotic cookware, from bimbimbap bowls to pizza stone to a tangine to a tortilla press. I set aside about $5 a week for cool kitchen equipment. :p

[Reya]

Oh, also, I usually do a "real" meal (heavy on cooking, doubling quantities) twice a week and a "lite" cooking meal once a week. At first, I froze leftovers and rotated out a different dish every day, but my family actually likes eating the same thing for several days straight, so I don't bother anymore. In fact, if the kids like it the first day, they like it MORE on the second and get upset on the third when there's only enough for lunches.

[somo_chickenlady]

From my reading here, and at other homeschool and at natural parenting forums, it seems that everyone:

 

Has a super clean house Just in the past couple months I have learned a good routine to keep our kitchen clean, a task that I have struggled with for the past 15 years. Before these past couple months, our kitchen was usually destroyed. Our living room usually has clutter on all the tables, laundry on the sofa, dog toys everywhere, just a mess. I pick it up about once a week, more than that it isn't worth the bother.

 

Homeschools a billion subjects with a billion children, and also adds in a bunch of outside activities and homeschool/church stuff At the moment we are only doing the required 5 subjects (history, math, language arts, science, reading) b/c we have so much else going on in our lives that I can't handle more than that. I tried adding other subjects, but this month I dropped them b/c it was too much. We don't do anything special, DS just does his work and calls it a day.

 

works out bwahahahahahaha I have never worked out a day in my life.

 

cooks everything from scratch Some days yes, some days no. While we do enjoy the nice from scratch meals (from scratch is relative b/c we use store bought pasta, use a lot of canned vegetables, etc) but we have no problem with frozen pizza or fish sticks mixed in there as well.

 

cooks mostly organic food Nope, we can't afford that.

 

has very low grocery budgets. THAT, we do.

 

I've always been picky about what my kids eat, we were vegetarian for many ears and just started eating meat again about 3 years ago. We try to eat organic and local meat. Since we've moved its been so hard to find the quality of meat and dairy we had in Idaho, where I could get everything from the farmer. Here, I can't even find local pastured meat at whole foods (which I have to drive over 30 min to get to). Since I started reading all the threads about the standard american diet (while pregnant with my first 6 years ago) I've been cutting out more and more processed food while trying to make allowances in order to not be too rigid. My oldest has SPD and is very picky, but my 4 yr old is picking up how to be picky from him, my 2 yr old will eat anything. ANYWAY my point is I dont see how you guys do it. I'm cooking 2-3 hours a day and my grocery budget is embarrassingly high. I cook whole foods, bulk organic rices, beans, flour, grind my own wheat, make my own bread, chocolate sauce, ketchup, mayo, kefir, granola bars, mac and cheese, pasta sauce, pizza dough. All the things I see thrown around on some boards as a way to cut costs, but mine are going up. Not to mention time. I read the things other people are making for dinner, then I think, "well I can do that!" and it takes over 2 hours to make it. What am I doing wrong? Do people eat like this every night? I am starting to feel like some frozen ravioli from costco is akin to ::gasp:: tater tot casserole.

 

I'm starting to wear myself out and it's not pretty. I dont have time to keep up anymore. I'm cleaning at least 2-3 hours a day, staying up till 2:00 trying to finish everything and then trying to get up at 7:00 to start school. We aren't doing any outside activities right now, and I'm not even doing anything FUN with school, like art or science or projects. I'm barely keeping up with the basics. I miss just sitting and hanging out with my kids, but I can't keep up with all of it. DH wants me to make a set list of like, 8-12 meals and rotate through them but I dont even know what to pick at this point I'm so exhausted. It doesn't help we just moved from a 1900 sq foot house to a 3700 sq foot house in October and its waaaaay to much house for me (its a rental close to DH's job). We aren't close to any of the cheaper food stores anymore and everything is just so expensive. I used to go to 3-5 grocery stores a week to try and save money but now they're all too far away to do that.

 

I just feel like, in every thread about food, people toss around "make everything from scratch like I do and it's so much cheaper and healthier". Well, how do you do it? What I'm doing now isn't something I can keep up long term. I mean, I need to know everything, what you eat for snacks, dinners, lunches (I think I have breakfasts handled).How much time does it take you? How much does it cost? I have a stand up freezer, but one level is taken up with milk most of the time. I'll take any and all advice. I grew up eating school breakfasts and lunches, cold sugar cereal on weekends, kool ade and bologna wonderbread sandwiches, fast food or no dinners. Please help me!!

 

The biggest way we have found to keep our food budget down is to make a menu and stick to it (you buy much less and waste less that way). It really doesn't matter WHAT your meals are. If easier meals are better for you, then by all means make them. No one will think you are a terrible person for not cooking from scratch every day. I don't mind making a big meal once in a while, but I HATE doing it every day...and that is okay! If you are looking for ideas for meals, take a look at my blog. I linked you to my menus, and you are free to pick any ideas, and some have some recipes (the ones that are links). There is a lot of repetition in our menus. IMO, you would be better off just buying things like flour, chocolate sauce, ketchup, mayo, kefir, granola bars, pasta sauce, and pizza dough (going off your list). Your kids won't care if you buy those things from the store, and it will save you so much time. You don't have to be super mom!!

 

Only shop one day per week, you are less likely to buy stuff you don't need or will waste that way. We live 45 minutes from the closest grocery store, so we have learned to adjust the way we live to our proximity, and we have actually saved a lot of money b/c we can't run to the store every night after work.

 

We buy mostly store brand foods (they usually taste better anyway!) but there are some things we do buy name brand. I would love to by everything organic, but we just can't afford to. We buy meat in bulk and freeze it until we need it. We also buy bread and butter in bulk while it is on sale, and freeze those as well.

 

As far as cleaning goes...how old are your kids? Have them help you clean, even when they are small. They can pick up their own toys, put their laundry into their baskets, push a washcloth across a counter to clean it, etc. Make your husband fold his own clothes and put them away. Have your older child vacuum. When it comes to the kitchen, the routine that I have found that works best for us is to have everyone do their own dishes that they use. If one of us cooks, the other two do the dishes that were used to make the meal. I didn't know if it would work, but I put my foot down one day b/c I was tired of the sink piling up with dishes and getting overwhelmed with it all, and one day I told DH and DS this is what we were going to do. I told them that if they have time to bring the dish to the sink, they have time to wash it. It has worked wonders, and we went from ALWAYS having a trashed kitchen, to always having a clean kitchen. I only do laundry when the basket is full, which usually takes DH and I two days to do (the square plastic kind, not the rectangular kind). DS does his own laundry. I only vacuum when it looks to need it. If stuff piles up on the coffee table for a couple days, I don't care. Our kitchen table is usually COVERED in DS's school books and supplies.

 

Nobody but me cares if I am super mom or not. As long as our house is somewhat clean most of the time, and we have food on the table, no matter what it is, my family is happy. Good luck mama. ((hug))

[sandst]

Our house is only just clean.

 

We battle to keep up with school, therapies, looking after all the needs of my chronic ill DS, I battle with several chronic conditons as well and all other outside activities.

 

I work full time from home and am always playing catch up.

 

We cook mostly from scratch and we do extra sides and sometimes two different meals because of multiple allergies.

 

We do not live in the States and food is very epensive here, no coupons and we cannot get organic meat at all. Some times we can get free range but definately not organic meat. Our food budget is very high because of the multiple allergies and the shortage of specialised ingredients. I cannot make a GF, Soya, Egg, Nut, Dairy Free bread like the one we get at the shop for US 3.50 for a loaf 1/4 of the size of a normal loaf.

 

We had a housecleaner once a week and she has now left for a better job. All I can say is my house is not the same since. I also have a son with SPD and a very picky daughter.

 

On Sunday we had a braai (barbaque) some steaks and espetada (giant chunks of rump on a giant kebaab), german (no mayo) potato salad and green salad.

Monday leftover steak, gravy, rice, green salad and watermelon.

 

Tuesday Spargetti with meat sauce, two kinds of pasta GF and non-GF, salad, fresh peaches and two mince sauces, one with tomatoes and one for my dd with no tomatoes.

 

Today we are going to a funeral so we will take a big sandiwch platter (ham, cheese, tuna, egg) and make some GF, allergies free rolls for ds and I with salami and chicken roll. We will take a big fruit salad so we will be ok. The rest of the family is free to graze through the funeral food on offer. We will only come back home after tonight's midweek church service. For late dinner we have some leftovers from yesterday and also ceral or toast as options. Tomorrow we have a playdate at a water park (it is year end holidays around here) so we are packing some hot dogs (allergy free and normal), some watermelon, popcorn, natural crisps, juice, icetea and if I have time some homemade sesame seeds free humus and veggies. The water park is quit far so hopefully I will have time to prepare all of this. We are planning to stop at a mall after the water park to do some Christmas shopping. So hopefully I will be able to put the crock pot on with some butternut, sweet potatoes and onions to slow roast and make some soup for dinner.

 

Friday we have another play date at a pool 40 minutes away from home and will pack some slow cooked roast beef rolls, melon and fresh veggies (if I have time to put up a roast on Thursday) and drinks, otherwise it will be some cold cuts again.

 

If I do the roast then I will have enough for Saturday because I will have to feed the workers that are working on the kitchen with DH (we are redoing our kitchen) with some rice and veggies and hopefully there will be enough for all of us. Otherwise I will go and get some cooked chickens from the shop and will have to get up early and while the veg and rice is cooking will fry some chicken fillets for the allergy free family members.

 

Sunday is a total mistery...

 

For breakfast we have cereal or toast with sunbutter (deadly peanut allergies around here) and fruit spread. We eat a mid morning snack ( usually the kids just graze and have some fruit or veg) and our main meal is lunch around 14:00 pm for dinner we will have soup, leftovers or toast, fruit, yougurt...

 

Trust me life is not perfect and I try not to compare...

[LucyStoner]

Typically, a mom's description of a perfect home life all for a low cost on an online forum is as accurate as, say, a middle age man using his college photo on his online dating profile.

 

Food costs money. If you are of low to high moderate income, food will generally be your second largest monthly outlay unless you are able to grow/produce a significant chunk of your diet.

[happypamama]

Typically, a mom's description of a perfect home life all for a low cost on an online forum is as accurate as, say, a middle age man using his college photo on his online dating profile.

 

Food costs money. If you are of low to high moderate income, food will generally be your second largest monthly outlay unless you are able to grow/produce a significant chunk of your diet.

 

Oh, so well said!

 

Our food budget is pretty high (but not as high as it could be if I went all organic/pastured, which I'd love to do). I do cook from scratch a lot, but there's only so low it's ever going to go and still be what our family considers to be healthy. Could I shrink it even more? Yep. But then we'd be eating a lot that we don't consider to be healthy. But I see a huge difference in my family when we eat well vs. when we don't.

 

Fresh food being cheaper -- I think that varies. Pound for pound, fresh broccoli in PA in the winter is far more expensive than frozen broccoli, for instance, and my family will gobble up two pounds of broccoli at a meal, and I'd surely rather use frozen broccoli than buy fresh and limit how much my kids eat! I do think generally cooking food yourself is cheaper than prepackaged meals, but sometimes a compromise is reasonable.

 

Perhaps you can look at some of the from-scratch cooking you're doing to see if there are any places you can compromise? Sometimes you're not really getting a huge benefit from cooking everything from scratch, either healthwise or pricewise. I don't make my own spaghetti sauce; we don't eat it every day, there's a reasonably priced brand in our stores that has only normal ingredients and no high fructose corn syrup, it saves me some time, and it's cheaper than buying ingredients to make my own. Otoh, bread products are worth me making on my own.

 

As for feeling like everyone does it better, I think it's easy to get that impression online, because everyone's experiences get mashed together into one big feeling. The person who's talking about all the mom-intensive schoolwork she does might have a husband who gets home early and who enjoys cooking. Or the person who cooks a lot might hire a cleaning person. Or the person whose house is really tidy might use a lot of computer-based schooling. None of it's bad; it's just that time and money are two forms of currency, and sometimes you have more of one than the other to use in a particular area. I'm all for making changes where you can, to make things easier on yourself, but I've come to realize that no one mom does it all. They all compromise in *some* area.

[butterflymommy]

If you don't have an inexpensive local source for organic groceries, you may want to consider giving it up. We couldn't even consider going organic, it's way too expensive. It would double our food budget. I understand some people have cheaper organic resources but they don't exist here.

 

I buy the cheapest I can find-- this is usually remainder, wholesale, and ethnic places. For what's left I go to a chain store and always buy generic or by sale. We average $250 a month for 9 people, that includes all non food items and a LOT of fruits/ veggies and cheese. Some weeks I manage to go cheaper but prices have been going up consistently the past few years. I'm having to scrounge and hunt to stay at the same budget but I'm buying less and we gave up anything packaged or prepared a long time ago due to cost.

 

Yes I spend a lot of time cooking. It's ridiculous on some days how much I spend cooking. When I was HSing all of them it seemed like many days I had to choose between actually HSing them or just handing them a workbook so I could cook.

 

My family is all picky and we don't necessarily eat meals. DH works crazy hours so he eats on his own when he's home. So I have food ready to be eaten when they feel like it. So at least I don't have to have 9 warm plates on the table simultaneously 3X a day.

 

The kids like breakfast foods like oatmeal, pancakes, muffins, waffles english muffins, bagels, with toppings like PB jam, cream cheese. I don't let them use butter as a topping b/c it's too expensive but we do use it as an ingredient for sauces and desserts. Snacks are fruit and cheese.

 

I have pizza dough in the fridge that can be used whenever they feel like a pizza.

 

I only cook meat (poultry or fish) 2X a week, if that.

 

Dh has variations on rice & beans most nights for dinner and oatmeal in the morning which I make in a rice cooker. We put avocado (which are expensive but he insists on it) sour cream swiss cheese on the rice and beans. Beverages are usually 100% fruit juice and water. Only 2 of my kids drink milk. I try to always have a large serving of broccoli or leafy greens available, cooked or raw.

 

There's usually at least one dessert available at all times... we're lucky in that no on overdoes it and most of the kids will choose something else over the cookies before going for the cookies.

 

Everything is homemade except for the english muffins, which I buy only if on sale, and sandwich bread.

 

As for the house it isn't really clean and what is clean, the kids help me do. They are 100% responsible for their own rooms and putting away their laundry. They also have to clean the bathrooms they use at least once a week. But it's a rare day when everything is in order and there isn't anything gross in the bathrooms.

 

I focus on keeping the kitchen very clean because I'm concerned about food safety. And I try to stay on top of laundry. Other than that I don't worry about a clean house too much.

HTH!

[Jenny in Florida]

I'm feeling overwhelmed lately. I feel like years of reading forums has warped my mind into a very not normal view of how things should be. I should start by saying I was a latch key kid, had a very dysfunctional home life, and never learned any sort of cooking/cleaning/budgeting/parenting stuff from my mother. I am starting to realize that it truly is putting me at a disadvantage and now I'm in over my head.

 

From my reading here, and at other homeschool and at natural parenting forums, it seems that everyone:

 

Has a super clean house

Homeschools a billion subjects with a billion children, and also adds in a bunch of outside activities and homeschool/church stuff

works out

cooks everything from scratch

cooks mostly organic food

has very low grocery budgets.

 

 

I'm so sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. I think the temptation on a board like this is to let "everyone" run together into one giant, perfect person, the one who's doing everything well and with good grace. In fact, I don't think most of us have more than one or two of the items on your list nailed down, and some days I can't manage that.

 

My house is never super clean. Once every couple of weeks, or when company is coming, it reaches "okay" level, but that's about the best we ever do.

I'm homeschooling exactly one child, and last month I got so frustrated that I tossed all of the lesson plans I'd written for the year and signed him up for a full slate of online classes.

We do a fair number of outside activities, because I have older kids with genuine passion and talent for certain pursuits.

I don't cook everything from scratch. In fact, sometimes I barely cook at all. Back in the early fall, I was baking all of our bread and making crockpot meals with extra to freeze and socking away cooked beans for later dinners . . . Now that the holiday season mania has hit and three of us have been sick on and off, I don't remember the last time I cooked an actual dinner.

We use very few organics. I can't afford it. Some of the things we buy (soy milk, for example) is organic just because it's the way it comes in the package. But I rarely seek out organic foods.

I think our grocery budget is perhaps on the low side of average, most of the time, when I have the time and energy to make lists and when I don't send my husband to the store for anything.

 

So, there you go. Now you have a role model who isn't a good housekeeper, has completely failed at homeschooling one of her two children in anything like the way she wanted for him and is a lazy cook.

 

I don't have any actual advice for you, but maybe a little perspective will make you feel better?

[2squared]

From my reading here, and at other homeschool and at natural parenting forums, it seems that everyone:

Has a super clean house

Homeschools a billion subjects with a billion children, and also adds in a bunch of outside activities and homeschool/church stuff

works out

cooks everything from scratch

cooks mostly organic food

has very low grocery budgets.

 

Oh, my. I feel that way too. I can tell you that I am NOT doing all those things you listed. I major in the majors and ignore the minors. I focus on being effective and efficient.

 

My house is picked up and uncluttered. It is rarely deep cleaned.

 

I only have 5 kids, but they stretch me farther than anyone should be stretched. My oldest is started scheduled history and science in 5th grade. My 3rd grader reads history books and science magazines. My youngers spend time outside. That's our basic approach to work beyond the 3Rs. We hit the 3Rs hard, but as efficiently as possible (which mean a lot of teacher time for me).

 

My kids have outside activities, but I do not. I do nothing. I wish I did something, but our schedule is full of kid activities (5kids = a lot of kid stuff), family time, and that pesky employment thing.

 

I don't work out. Wish I did, but my life is too crazy for it right now.

 

Used to cook everything from scratch, but life is too crazy. More convenience things are finding their way into our house, and I am OK with that. Fruit from a can (gasp!) is better than no fruit.

 

I don't worry about organic at all. What is available to me, here out in the middle of nowhere, is completely out of my price range. We have our own chickens, and we buy beef from a local farmer. We have a garden in the summer. That's what we do. Our kids are extremely active and spend hours outside every day. I'm not going to stress about organic food or whether we are eating evil white flour. Homemade bread and muffins with white flour is healthier than store bought bread and muffins. I do what I can balancing my budget and my sanity.

 

Our grocery budget is growing. I am approaching $900/month right now. Used to be that would send me into a panic, but something has to give. I can't do it all, nor am I willing to do it all.

[Laura Corin]

I pick my battles. My house is fairly clean and I deep clean it in the winter (when the garden goes quiet). I don't make everything from scratch, just the important things: I can get good jarred pasta sauce, bread, peanut butter, etc, so I don't feel the need to make it all.

 

I eat veg in season (cheaper) and we don't eat much meat. Our grocery shop now costs less than half what it did when Husband was working. I cook batches of pulses/beans to add to soups/stews and freeze them. I only buy meat on special offer and don't go to the shop with a list: instead I buy what's good value and work out the menu as I go along.

 

Laura

[Heidi]

So much good advice!

 

I aim to cook one good meal a day, usually lunch, and then dinner is leftovers or sandwiches. I make twice as much as we need so we can have leftovers. Breakfast rotates as oatmeal, eggs/toast, potatoes and eggs, or pancakes. Those are quick to make. Cereal is too expensive. I do make most things from scratch, but only uncomplicated things.

 

We don't buy organic because it is expensive. We try to go easy on the meat.

 

I just have my regular meals I usually cook. None of them take too long. I stock up on the non-perishable parts of them. For instance, I have around 30 cans of speghetti sauce & 10 boxes of speghetti in my pantry right now. For bean & rice tacos, we have cans of beans, bags of rice, a pile of tortillas, and multiple jars of salsa. I like your husband's idea and have been meaning to do it myself. However, with most items already at home I can usually make whatever I'm in the mood for, so that works too.

 

I definitely wouldn't be able to keep up with the house if it weren't for the kids doing chores. My only chore is the kitchen and I can't even keep up with that! So taking the time to get that portion of your schedule organized is worth the effort.

 

I was raised exactly how you described; lock-key, fast-food, alchohol abuse. I feel like I have been put at a disadvantage and I'm trying to make up for lost time. It really has been a struggle, but slowly over the years I'm figuring it out. My husband actually was raised well and has taught me about everything I know about being a cook/organizer, I dont' know what you'd call it. If it weren't for him I'd be a lot further behind the curve.

 

Hope you figure it out! Simplify and be with your family. :grouphug:

[lavender's green]

Just a couple of thoughts:

 

These things aren't all or nothing. You can make a meal from scratch one night, eat leftovers the next night, and frozen costco ravioli the night after that. That's 2 for 3 with only one night's work! Not bad!

 

And, very importantly, some people have a DIY personality and some don't. And if you don't...that's fine! There aren't any trophies for being crunchy or silky or whatever. Do what you enjoy and outsource the rest.

[speedmom4]

Stop comparing yourself!!! I used to do the same thing. I was also a latchkey kid and grew up on Chef Boyardee. I am homeschooling 4 kids, my house is not as clean as I would like it but it's ok, and I do run a couple of times a week. BUT I rarely cook anything from scratch! :ohmy: I just don't have the interest. I still cook dinner almost every evening or we have leftovers but it is nothing fancy. For example, last night we had spaghetti. I took out frozen ground beef and frozen Italian sausage and threw them in the crock pot. Then when they were mostly cooked I opened two jars of spaghetti sauce. My dd boiled the pasta and there was dinner. I also do not have a low food budget. I budget $900 a month for food and I spend every penny of that.

 

I will say that the longer I have been a mom and have been homeschooling I have gotten better and better at managing my time, money, and kids. Just like anyone who has been doing a job for many years they tend to get better at it. Experience and age are a big benefit!

 

Don't be so hard on yourself!

 

God Bless,

Elise in NC

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

I cut out the running to the store during the week. One day a week I go shopping. If the family did not put what they wanted or was running low on the list they have to do without. This has cut our monthly food bill by a good $150-200, plus the money I am saving on gas by not running to the store several times a week.

[lllll]

:)

[cjzimmer1]

From my reading here, and at other homeschool and at natural parenting forums, it seems that everyone:

 

Has a super clean house

 

I don't and never did. I'm NOT a good housekeeper. Things have gotten better over the years because my kids do the cleaning and I oversee, means my energy can go a whole lot farther in getting the work done. However, I have never lived at level where impromptu visits are welcome, I would still need several hours to be company ready and even then I would have stucks of things around the edges of counters and desk

 

Homeschools a billion subjects with a billion children, and also adds in a bunch of outside activities and homeschool/church stuff

 

My kids take a phy ed class and ocassionally a swimming class. My philosophy from day one with homeschool was to teach them how to teach themselves because as adults we have to learn how to do/fix things and no one is going to sit and hold our hands while we figure it out. So once they learn how to read/write and do basic math they work mostly independent. I pick curriculum that has good instructions to the student and they have to spend some time trying to figure it out before they come running to mom for help,.

works out

I have 5 soon to be 6 kids. They are my workout.

cooks everything from scratch

I started this because my youngest has a dairy allergy. She has mostly outgrown this but the habit persists. Once you get a routine down it's not so bad. I just started with one thing. For instance, I learned to make bread. After doing that for MONTHS, I added tortillas (then I found sound at the store with an acceptable ingredient list and went back to store bought), then I learned to make salad dressings. By this time a year had go by. Took another year to master things like cream of X soup, and rice/couscous blends. So the point is you won't just one day start making everything from scratch. I've been working on it for 4 years and I still rely on store bought spaghetti sauce because we can't find a single homemade recipe that my kids like.

cooks mostly organic food

Nope, way too expensive. We do grassfed beef and sometimes pastured chicken but that's it.

has very low grocery budgets.

we buy in bulk. I buy wheat berries, brown basmati rice, oats in 50 pound bags. Dried fruit in 5 pound bags. During the summer (when school is out and I have more time) I buy fresh produce in 3-5 bushel quantities and freeze for the winter

 

What am I doing wrong? Do people eat like this every night? I am starting to feel like some frozen ravioli from costco is akin to ::gasp:: tater tot casserole.

 

I just feel like, in every thread about food, people toss around "make everything from scratch like I do and it's so much cheaper and healthier". Well, how do you do it? What I'm doing now isn't something I can keep up long term. I mean, I need to know everything, what you eat for snacks, dinners, lunches (I think I have breakfasts handled).How much time does it take you? How much does it cost? I have a stand up freezer, but one level is taken up with milk most of the time. I'll take any and all advice. I grew up eating school breakfasts and lunches, cold sugar cereal on weekends, kool ade and bologna wonderbread sandwiches, fast food or no dinners. Please help me!!

 

Well for instance I buy the biggest turkey I can find in the store and roast it for a meal. The next night I will use some of that cooked meat in another meal. I find if my meat is prepared, I can pull together a veggie and and starch side in less than 30 minutes. Also whatever I make for supper, I make a large amount and everyone eats leftovers for lunch. I never have to worry about what is for lunch or spend much time because we just reheat leftovers. Also I typically cook a big meal Sunday through Thursday and the weekend we are still using up leftovers, so I really only cooking 5 meals a week, because I've recently put my oldest in charge of breakfast but that wasn't that much work for me to begin with (see below)

 

Another thing is the kids eat oatmeal for breakfast, EVERY, SINGLE. DAY. They don't get a choice. I'm not a morning person and prepared food is expensive. They can choose what fruit addin they want (not each child, collectively, one fruit gets added to the pot and everyone eats that flavor) but we have raisins, craisins, dried mixed fruit, peaches, blueberries, strawberries, apricot, cherries, chocolate cherry, raspberries and blackberries as possible choices. It keeps it from feeling repetitive because we have so many flavor choices. We also will add cinnamon or different flavored extracts (vanilla, almond, lemon, orange raspberry, cherry etc) to further change things up. They can also sprinkle nuts or shredded coconut on top for more variety.

 

Snacks are easy as well. They get whatever fresh fruit or veggies is in season. In the summer it is a plate of sliced peppers from the garden (plain we seldom use dip as it adds to the cost and isn't particularly healthy) or sliced cucumbers with salt or fresh strawberries when we do our anuual strawberry picking. In the fall it will be apples or celery with peanut butter in the winter oranges or grapefruit or applesauce that I canned in the fall, maybe carrot sticks if I have some extra. While I generally don't like Aldi's ours has had amazing produce deals this fall so they have been able to have pineapple and pomegrantes for snacks as well.

 

Shacks don't typically require more than 15 minutes of prep time for me because we eat stuff that is "almost" ready to eat so it's not much work for me.

[butterflymommy]

 

Used to cook everything from scratch, but life is too crazy. More convenience things are finding their way into our house, and I am OK with that. Fruit from a can (gasp!) is better than no fruit.

 

depending on sales canned or frozen can be cheaper than fresh.

[Parrothead]

From my reading here, and at other homeschool and at natural parenting forums, it seems that everyone:

 

Has a super clean house

Ah, no. It is tidy and sanitary.

 

Homeschools a billion subjects with a billion children, and also adds in a bunch of outside activities and homeschool/church stuff

One kid who is taking the entire month off just because. She does have a lot of outside activities because we live in an area that we don't see others unless we leave the house.

 

works out

Occasionally, but not anything regularly unless you count those outside activities. I do go to one yoga class a week I do try to run on the treadmill but haven't in 3 weeks.

 

cooks everything from scratch

:laugh: :lol: :laugh: :lol: :laugh: :lol:

cooks mostly organic food

See above

 

has very low grocery budgets

See above. I spend almost as much a month on groceries as I do my rent.

 

 

 

what you eat for snacks,

Chips, cheese and crackers, popcorn, cookies, cake, muffins, scones, cut veggies, fruit on occasion.

 

dinners,

Normal stuff but a vegetarian version. Last night we had baked potatoes, asparagus and mixed green salad. Tonight we are having tacos.

 

lunches

Sandwiches, soup, salad. Yesterday my sandwich was avacado, red bell pepper, colby-jack cheese, cucumber and mayo. It is cold here and we will probably have soup out of a can for lunch today.

 

.How much time does it take you?

Not much. I've been cooking for 32 years. I know my way around a kitchen very well.

 

How much does it cost?

I have a budget of $300 twice a month.

 

I have a stand up freezer, but one level is taken up with milk most of the time. I'll take any and all advice. I grew up eating school breakfasts and lunches, cold sugar cereal on weekends, kool ade and bologna wonderbread sandwiches, fast food or no dinners. Please help me!!

The crock pot is your friend. So is a good cookbook (which means one you will use) along with menus. A schedule comes in handy too. That way you know what evenings you have free (you have time for a 3-course meal) and which are busy (crock pot)

 

Just because you use a menu doesn't mean you have to stick to it like glue. You can pick what you feel like eating off the menu if you don't particularly want what is scheduled for that day. But having the menu keeps shopping costs down. It also saves time. You aren't staring at the inside of the freezer wondering what to cook.

[MiniBlondes]

Bless your heart. :grouphug: People can make their lives sound any way that they like on the internet. It's rarely ever like that. Every family is different and I guess everyone finds a balance that works for them personally. I'll post how we do it. Maybe you'll find a nugget or something that will help you with your own.

 

Has a super clean house?

I am fortunate that my house is brand new and has a 'clean look' to it anyway. This is my particular spot that I tend to spend a lot of time and energy on. I am a clean freak. I can't help it. But I maintain a schedule and I try to keep up with it. I'll post mine but my kids have one too.

 

Daily - Morning

One load of laundry (I throw the clothes on my bed and me and DH fold them together before bed)

Wipe one bathroom counter and sink (we have 3, I just rotate)

Daily Chore (below)

Prep Dinner (usually in the crockpot)

School

 

Daily - Lunchtime (between 12-1 pm)

Empty and Load dishwasher

Make lunch

Wipe off kitchen table

If I have neglected to prep dinner, I do it here

Science while we eat

 

Daily - Afternoon

On the days that my daughter has cheer gym, she has to be there by 3:30, I drop her off and then run errands and/or come home and work on dinner

 

Daily - Evening

My husband picks up DD9 on his way home from work

Eat Dinner

Another load of dishes (my DH does this)

Clean/wipe down kitchen

I sweep the kitchen floor

Kids baths, in bed by 9 with free reading until 10

Parent free/alone time from 9-10:30

Me and DH go to our room at 10:30, we fold and put away the clothes, sometimes we watch a movie, sometimes we pass out, sometimes we talk, etc

 

Daily Chores:

Monday - Vacuum

Tuesday - Clean Mirrors and glass

Wednesday - Toilets and Tubs

Thursday - Mop Floors

Friday - Swing Day (below, Fridays are generally free of cheerleading so we have a heavier cleaning schedule and later school schedule)

Saturday - Catch up/Declutter Day

 

Swing Day Chores:

Wipe down furniture and cabinets

Oven, Microwave, Fridge

Walls, Baseboards, and Doors

Spot Clean upholstery and rugs

 

 

Homeschools a billion subjects with a billion children, and also adds in a bunch of outside activities and homeschool/church stuff

I only have 2 kiddos. We start between 8-9 am and are done by 12-1. Then we have have lunch, clean up, and then free/play time. DD9 is involved in competitive cheerleading and unfortunately this particular activity is a HUGE time suck. She is in the gym 3-5 days a week for up to 2-3 hours. I will often drop her off and go run errands during this time. DD7 takes art lessons every Wednesday night. I serve in the preschool class at church on Sunday (but not every single week) and me and my DH clean the church once a month. That's it.

 

works out

Ummmm, no. I wish. Sometimes we have time to take a walk after dinner. Does that count? :glare:

 

cooks everything from scratch

Not EVERYTHING, but a lot. The longer I do it, I actually find it to be cheaper and easier as long as it's planned. The crockpot and freezing meals are your FRIEND. Having said that, we have frozen pizza for dinner at least once a week... sometimes twice. ;)

 

cooks mostly organic food

I try, but this isn't really feasible with our grocery budget. I do try to buy fresh or non-processed whenever possible.

 

has very low grocery budgets

Our grocery budget is $100/week. I shop almost exclusively at Aldi. Some people argue that Aldi is full of processed foods and while this is the case... I simply just don't buy them (or many of them). I buy fresh or frozen fruits and veggies, frozen chicken breasts, cheeses, sour cream, milk, eggs, honey, pasta, dry beans, rice, etc. I make many of our soap products and that helps A LOT. I recently spent about $22 and made 9 months of laundry detergent.

 

 

 

I feel like this post is 100 miles long, so if you would like specifics about menu plans and recipes, message me privately and I'll hook you up. :)

[Audrey]

I don't have much too offer here.

 

My house is clean because I have OCD. It's not fun.

 

I do cook from scratch. We even grow and raise most of our own food. But, we have a farm, which seems so cute and idyllic, but it's a ton of work and a lot of the time --- not fun.

 

I don't work out (if you mean exercise). I do work out (if you mean have a paying job outside the home).

 

Meaningless stuff aside... quit comparing yourself to others. No one else is living your life with your family. If you do want to improve the many things you mentioned, you've got some good advice already. I would like to mention one thing... in regard to budgeting... check out www.betterbudgeting.com. It is completely free, and there are even online budgeting "classes" to help you work through your own budget. There are also tons of tips on saving money in many areas. They've been around forever (in internet years) and were a great help to me when we first got married and got into the farm.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

My house is only what I'd call clean about 1/2 the time. I only have 2 kids, and I don't do a billion things with them, but I do try to make things interesting. I prefer to spend my limited energy on fun school or craft projects than cleaning my house.

 

I don't "work out", but I do take a dance class once a week and try to take walks. In the summer I swim in my pool almost every day, but that's easy, since it's right in the backyard.

 

My food budget is probably one of the highest here. I do buy mostly organic and cook mostly from scratch. I spend over $200.00 a week on food alone, not beauty or cleaning products. We have a family of 4.5 (my sister lives with us and eats with us about 1/2 the time.) To me, that's money well spent. I can't bring myself to buy junk, and after learning what pesticides and fertilizers do to the soil and to our bodies, and what happens to animals who aren't raised and fed properly, I cannot NOT buy organic. So, we don't go out very often, we don't take vacations often, I have almost no "spending money", but it's worth it to me.

 

You cannot judge what your life should be like from the snapshots you get on a forum. Do what feels right and good for your own family, and don't worry about the rest.

[Um_2_4]

oh..i feel that way too when reading here sometimes... and as the only homeschooler in my circle really.. I know some think that of me...

 

I was never taught to cook/clean/do laundry (my house wan't dirty... I just (don't shoot me) grew up with a maid, not live in mind you, but my mom and I never had to do any of that stuff). My parents taught me school/university was my only job.. I went on a full ride to enginerring school....then life took a turn from my plans and I ended up married with 4 kids and at home (which I love, don't get me wrong, I just don't love the cleaning/laundry that go with it)...

Learning to cook/clean etc in your 20s is much harder in my opinion b/c no one is there to show you. DH grew up with an (i'm pretty sure) OCD mom and 2 OCD sisters (who I love dearly, don't get me wrong, but they stress me out) who did everything for him. despite what he thinks these things are not "common sense"....plus I am just slower at these things than someone who has done it since they were small...dishes take me longer, mopping the floor takes me longer...

 

My house is clean (not white glove) most of the time, we have a formal living room for unexpected guests, a quick dust and it would be ready, although I would have to do a quick clean of the guest bath since DC use that during the day. School books are my love and nemisis at the same time...since moving we now have a library (spare bedroom filled with bookshelves) for books/puzzles/computers so now I can shut that door when needed. Family room is only a tv,couch and treadmill and is open to the eat in kitchen...that gets vaccummed/mopped daily as it is where we spend 90% of our time. Upstairs gets cleaned on weekends...Laundry is done on weekends..that is the best I can do for now.

 

Cooking ....I am in a rut on that one. I need to make a list of menus...I am struggling to keep it to $600/mo including non-food items as well. only dh eats out (work lunches) and he has $100/mo for spending money. Otherwise I send him leftovers/snacks. I have cut out most, not all, processed foods, but oldest DD is VERY picky (I think she may have sensory issues, but how do you diagnosis that???) and she is underweight, so I buy "treats" for her that would ordinarly not be in the budget. DS on the other end will eat most anything and is on the husky side (tall and big) like his uncles so doc said to limit carbs/sugar (already did) till he hits a heigth growth spurt. But cooking from scratch for me is stir fry and rice, meatloaf and sides, hamburgers/coleslaw, homemade pizza, roast in crockpot, roasted chicken, etc... Anyone have anyother ideas????

I LOVE stuffed grape leaves, egg rolls, tons of other time consuming dishes but don't have the time to make them.

DH would love those elaborate dinners, but I DON'T have time. The twins (1 is non verbal and I think OCD, other is just demanding) take up a lot of my time as does school work for the older 2.

 

We cut extras outside now b/c of budget and now we are without a car except for DH's for work till we find another one...Kids haven't left the house for 2 weeks... I do grocery shopping on sun am while dh stays with the kids as we don't all fit in Dh's car.

 

School has improved since I did workboxes, I put review/independant work in there for the older 2 so now those things are getting done daily, but I have to struggle to find quiet time to teach the older 2 the subjects that need one on one instructions b/c of the 2 3yos...the minute they see me sit down with 1 of the older 2 then they demand my attention, they have there own "workboxes", I can redirect them to something new in there, but it is just another interruption to deal with. We don't do LOTs of extras.. I moved art to SAT am. History is reading, Science is done maybe 2x a week. I try to make sure that we focus on the things we need to work on: handwriting, spelling, math.

 

Work out HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA...sorry that is hysterical... only if wrangling 3yos for changing clothes counts, oldest DS says it should be an olympic sport (that and toddler diaper changing)

 

Organic... NOPE can't afford it...kids eat 2-3 pounds of fruit for snacks a day, I usually pay .50/lb or less for bananas, apples, pears ,tangerines, oranges etc thanks to local ethnic markets here, otherwise I couldn't afford it. Organic bananas are 1.98/lb here, organic apples 2.58 last I saw.

 

Lunch is leftovers or sandwiches (PB, tuna, quesdilla, grilled cheese), with fruit/veges

Snacks are (besides fruit) wheat thins, breadsticks (for dd), pretzels, oldest ds needs protein at snack time so pb(natural), peanuts or tuna to go with it.

 

DH keeps hinting that it would be cheaper to make my own bread since I only buy 100% whole wheat...but I pay .99/loaf at outlet bakery, so nope it's not...we use 4 loafs a week.

 

Sorry for rambling, just this topic is often on my mind

[NotSoObvious]

Oh, please don't ever feel that way.

 

People post the nicest things on my FB about what a wonderful mother and teacher I am. You know why? Because I only post happy things!!! They don't know I scream at my kids, spend way too much time online, and battle depression, and many of them would never guess it.

 

We share things we are proud of and happy about, but it's far from the bigger picture. :)

 

Don't stay up until 2AM!

[Abigail4476]

Don't, don't, don't compare yourself to others!!! No one is perfect, no matter what kind of picture they put out for the public eye.

 

Each family is different and what matters to your family might not matter to ours and vice versa. In our house, it's important that we have dinner together, but at your house it might be more important that you gather at the football field or for a game of soccer.

 

Cleaning: I try very hard to have a neat and organized home, but with a household of 6, 2 small dogs, 1 lab, and 2 cats, it is an ongoing battle. Usually our home is passably neat on a daily basis, with the exception of my daughters' room, :glare: and it only looks "perfect" when we're having company or during the holidays. There are tricks to making it look that way, especially on short notice, but bottom line our home looks lived in on most days. Of course I don't post pictures of messy, unmade beds or sinks full of dishes on facebook and since the house is neat as a pin when company arrives, they will perceive that we are very neat people.

 

Cooking: My husband and I both love to cook, so yes--we can turn even cheap, simple meals into something very tasty. However, not everyone is naturally a good cook and so then you are stuck with either bland or burned foods on an ongoing basis or you have to depend on things that are pre-seasoned or pre-cooked. I have a friend who is in her late 40's and still struggles with cooking. Most of it has to do with her absent-mindedness, and frankly it's probably safer for her to NOT have anything simmering on the stove all day, lest she turn up the heat, walk away and burn the house down.

 

Budgeting: When I HAVE to, I keep my grocery budget minimal, but when I don't have to? I spend what I want and I don't feel guilty about it. When I have the money, I buy organic foods, but when I don't--I don't. I do little things to help the environment like using my reusable tote bags at the grocery store and buy milk in glass bottles that can be recycled, but I don't kill myself trying to do everything eco-friendly.

 

My oldest sister and her family love books and movies and in the evenings they are either curled up on the couch reading or curled up on the couch watching Bones or X-Files. They aren't very well off, and their food is never gourmet.

 

My middle sister keeps her house very, very neat and every meal is an adventure--but I doubt she has time to go to football games.

 

I mean, really, who cares? As long as your children are happy and healthy and your family loves one another, does it matter if you have perfectly styled hair and the perfect Christmas decorations on your mantel? Does it really matter if you serve beans and cornbread twice a week instead of something that looks like it walked off the table of an upscale restaurant?

 

 

We each have to prioritize according to what works for our family and with our own personal values. Don't measure yourself against other people and don't allow other people to judge you or make you feel inadequate. :grouphug:

[Esperella]

Thanks so much everyone. Its making me feel much better already.

 

I dont really care what other people think of me, but I think my problem is just trying to grasp what is okay and what isn't. When I had DS1 I got very depressed and my house was horrible. Like, I see pictures now and I'm wondering why nobody ever helped me, it was obvious I wasn't okay. I remember someone coming over once unannounced and being so grossed out by my house they were afraid to sit on the couch OR the floor. I'm now SO much better mentally, and my last house was "okay". Not, super clean, not dirty, but just okay. When we moved in here, it was spotless and now I feel the need to keep it that way. Plus, people are coming over and expecting to "see the new house" and wanting tours of every room. So, all (4! 4 stupid bathrooms! we don't even use 2 of them, can you tell this big house is not for me? first world problems and ala that) the things must be clean. I feel like I can't even have clothes piled on the floor. I'm afraid that slipping a bit will cause my house to be like it was. I'm starting to wonder if some of my issues are coming back because, guys, I was dusting the HINGES in my doors. So, okay, I get that's not normal. But how do you stop? Dh had me cut my weekly cleaning list in half because I was doing many "monthly" things weekly. So, we'll see how that goes.

 

I'm trying to just tell myself, everything doesn't have to be perfect. Also, it's okay if my boys really don't like meals, but snacks. They like breakfast, but prefer just like, a fruit, and yogurt, or a granola bar and fruit for lunch. As for dinners, I'm still wrestling with what to make. Honestly, my budget is way higher than people here have said. But after analyzing things I realize that a lot of that I try to make a different meal like every night. So, I dont remake the same thing in a month, usually. And I try to make new things because I do enjoy cooking, but when I'm buying a bunch of stuff for 1 recipe that we wont have again, that's too much. Plus, sometimes DH just invites people over so, I have to change plans and I'll end up forgetting about all the stuff I bought and throwing it away when it goes bad, PLUS buying new stuff for entertaining. I told DH I dont want to have to add entertaining or alcohol into my grocery budget anymore. At least for now. Honestly, if I knew we were going to have roast every Sunday, or whatever, and I could go buy them at the beginning of the month and freeze them, that would make me feel so much more relaxed. But this constant weekly "oh no what are we having!!!" thing is just stupid.

 

I also, thanks to the suggestions here, bought some awesome cookbooks on my ipad, so I'm ready to go!

 

I just don't get the need of women to tear other people down. I'm busting my you know what all day, only to be like, a sitting duck for most of the women we know. Everyone feels open to criticize everything I do. It's just causing me to not understand what is normal and what isn't. But I'm starting to realize it doesn't add up, you can't possibly do all those things ALL THE TIME.

 

Anyway, thanks for letting me know that I'm not failing, I just need to tweak my priorities.

[Shamzanne]

A few tidbits that are helpful for me:

 

Every bit of food you put on your plate is a choice. I like thinking about it this way, because I could never afford to eat the way I really want to. So, I make the good choices that I can and (try not to) give myself a hard time about the rest. For me this looks like buying locally when I can and when its reasonably priced. I also have a huge chest freezer and do a ton of u-picking in the summer. The price for local, organic produce (blueberries, peaches, cherries, strawberries, tomatoes, peppers, etc) are cheaper than conventional in the store when I pick myself and freeze them. I try to pick enough to last all year but its difficult with a household of nine. I also shop the major The rest of our food is conventionally grown and budget friendly.

 

Another little time and sanity saver is to simplify your meals. For us this means three things on a plate. I keep us well stocked in fresh and frozen fruit and vegetables, and we always have bread, beans, quinoa, applesauce, cheese, etc. If we have enchiladas, I often serve them with beans from a can and oranges. If we have roasted chicken, I might serve steamed broccoli and bread and butter. I love to cook elaborate meals, but I've learned to save it for company and simplify regular meals in this way. That way, I only have to think about a main dish and not a bunch of side dishes.

[Jerico]

I'm feeling overwhelmed lately. I feel like years of reading forums has warped my mind into a very not normal view of how things should be. I should start by saying I was a latch key kid, had a very dysfunctional home life, and never learned any sort of cooking/cleaning/budgeting/parenting stuff from my mother. I am starting to realize that it truly is putting me at a disadvantage and now I'm in over my head.

 

From my reading here, and at other homeschool and at natural parenting forums, it seems that everyone:

 

Has a super clean house

Homeschools a billion subjects with a billion children, and also adds in a bunch of outside activities and homeschool/church stuff

works out

cooks everything from scratch

cooks mostly organic food

has very low grocery budgets.

 

Our house is liveable. Not super clean. My kids store their toys in boxes or laundry baskets so we're not martha stewart.

We go to church once a week and most of sunday is set aside for that.

We go to the library once a week and we do nothing else outside of the home other than that.

I have 3 children, we do phonics and basic math with the k'er. This will change obviously.

I do not work out- occasional walks to the park- more in nicer weather.

I cook from scratch mostly cause it's cheaper (I buy bread for the kids)

Our meals are very simple. We do not eat organic foods.

We do have a low grocery budget but only because we don't have much to work with right now. I keep everything around a dollar to two a pound. We use frozen veggies. Mainly bananas and apples, unless other fruits on are sale/in season. I buy chickens by the whole and roast, and then make broth. Only 98 cents a pound at aldi. I do all of my shopping there. I spend about $75/week (including diapers and toilet paper).