MiniBlondes Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Hello ladies. I need a little WWYD advice this morning. I teach Sunday School in the preschool class on Sundays, 3-5 year old children. There are usually approximately 10-15 children in this class every Sunday and the church rule is that any class that size needs a teach AND a helper. However, our church is also short on adult volunteers for the children's ministry and so many classes go without helpers. Once a month, the high school girls help in the classes but the rest of the time, we're just kind of on our own. It really becomes an issue when someone needs to go potty, etc. Anyway... for about 2 months, I let my DD's (7 and 9) help me in my class. They aren't a HUGE help but they at least helped to keep the kids occupied by playing games and things with them. At some point I convinced my DH to step up and help me and now I have him instead. So I told my girls that they could go back to their own Sunday School class. My DD7 doesn't want to go back to her class. She said that she likes being with me. She seems to enjoy being a 'helper' as well. She does have a few friends in that class too, because our church has a good homeschool community and some of the kids there are in our homeschool group. She is a little introverted as well. I worry that she is 'too attached' to me. I worry that she's afraid of being without me. Would this concern you or am I overreacting? Should I let her stay or make her go? ((Please forgive the grammar and choppiness of this post. It's taken me an hour to type it because I'm in the middle of teaching multiplication. Ha!)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 She's only seven. I say that if she's enjoying helping you out and working with the littles, let her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Don't worry, as she gets older she'll disengage from you more. I've found that when I let my kids be with me more when they were little that they were so much more independent and confident when they were older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 If she's really helping and not just becoming another kid to watch in the class, I'd let her stay. She may be discovering she has a heart for working with little ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Sigh. I wish that I had had these ladies to tell me exactly what they are telling you now. I agree with the other pps. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 If your 7yo is actually helpful and is otherwise getting a "Sunday school" lesson (I assume religion is part of your daily life, not just a 1-hr class on Sunday) AND it;s not against church policy then let her help. In my experience, sometimes the teen helpers are useless- my younger girls hated having teen helpers- they just talked to each other and rolled their eyes when asked to do anything. They would have all rather had a slightly-older girl who actually helped in their class. LOL, I'm also going to assume that even if it;s against church policy to have a 7yo helper, it won;t matter because you're already expected to run the class without a helper as required in their policy. ;) Maybe tell your DD that on days there is an adult helper she will have to go to her regular class? My only concern is what about taking a child to the restroom? She is kinda young, IMO, to handle that for someone else's kid, but not old enough to stay alone in a classroom while you take them out. Also, in my opinion, if she wants to stay with you because she loves the little kids and enjoys helping, then it;s OK. If she doesn;t want to go to her class because it;s overwheling, too "old" or just not educational enough- then address those issues. For example, one of mine wanted to quit her class because all they did was watch Veggie Tales and eat graham crackers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 Awesome, thanks so much! This is exactly what I needed to hear! I think that sometimes as a homeschooling mother, I feel like she needs to take opportunities to be away from me. I suppose that in 10 years, I'll be begging her to want to spend time with me. Enjoy it while I can, huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 If your 7yo is actually helpful and is otherwise getting a "Sunday school" lesson (I assume religion is part of your daily life, not just a 1-hr class on Sunday) AND it;s not against church policy then let her help. In my experience, sometimes the teen helpers are useless- my younger girls hated having teen helpers- they just talked to each other and rolled their eyes when asked to do anything. They would have all rather had a slightly-older girl who actually helped in their class. LOL, I'm also going to assume that even if it;s against church policy to have a 7yo helper, it won;t matter because you're already expected to run the class without a helper as required in their policy. ;) Maybe tell your DD that on days there is an adult helper she will have to go to her regular class? My only concern is what about taking a child to the restroom? She is kinda young, IMO, to handle that for someone else's kid, but not old enough to stay alone in a classroom while you take them out. Also, in my opinion, if she wants to stay with you because she loves the little kids and enjoys helping, then it;s OK. If she doesn;t want to go to her class because it;s overwheling, too "old" or just not educational enough- then address those issues. For example, one of mine wanted to quit her class because all they did was watch Veggie Tales and eat graham crackers. It's not necessarily against the policy, but she's not considered an official 'helper'. (i.e. she doesn't have to get a background check, lol) For the potty breaks, I have to page the pastors wife to take my little potty-goers. Or, if my husband is with me, he stays with my class while I go (the men aren't allowed to take them to the potty). Anyway, either way there is a system in place that DD7 isn't 'in charge' of either. Her main responsibility is to help me keep everyone occupied. Sometimes if they get too loud and distracted , she'll play Candyland or Simon Says with them to keep them occupied. Teaching a class of 10-15 preschoolers is mostly just semi-controlled chaos anyway. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Maybe a middle ground would be to suggest that X number of times per month she needs to go into her class, but if she does that with a good attitude then the other X times per month she can be your helper in class? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Is it possible that she doesn't fit in to her class? We ended up changing churches to one that had a "one room schoolhouse" sort of SS that spanned a wider age range because DD just plain wasn't happy in an SS class with the kids she was with-almost all of them went to school together and tended to leave her out. If she doesn't feel wanted in the class, and she enjoys helping with the preschoolers, I'd say, let her help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 She's only seven. I say that if she's enjoying helping you out and working with the littles, let her. pretty much this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Hello ladies. I need a little WWYD advice this morning. I teach Sunday School in the preschool class on Sundays, 3-5 year old children. There are usually approximately 10-15 children in this class every Sunday and the church rule is that any class that size needs a teach AND a helper. However, our church is also short on adult volunteers for the children's ministry and so many classes go without helpers. Once a month, the high school girls help in the classes but the rest of the time, we're just kind of on our own. It really becomes an issue when someone needs to go potty, etc. Anyway... for about 2 months, I let my DD's (7 and 9) help me in my class. They aren't a HUGE help but they at least helped to keep the kids occupied by playing games and things with them. At some point I convinced my DH to step up and help me and now I have him instead. So I told my girls that they could go back to their own Sunday School class. My DD7 doesn't want to go back to her class. She said that she likes being with me. She seems to enjoy being a 'helper' as well. She does have a few friends in that class too, because our church has a good homeschool community and some of the kids there are in our homeschool group. She is a little introverted as well. I worry that she is 'too attached' to me. I worry that she's afraid of being without me. Would this concern you or am I overreacting? Should I let her stay or make her go? ((Please forgive the grammar and choppiness of this post. It's taken me an hour to type it because I'm in the middle of teaching multiplication. Ha!)) She's seven. Let her be attached to you. More children should be attached to their parents at that age instead of peer-dependent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 at age 7, my dd was so attached to me, she never left my side. Then when she was 11, she went to Creation Camp for several days with her youth group. She had a great time (she texted me alot but she was not homesick). OUr entire extended family was shocked that she was away from my side. Today at age 17, she goes to community college, has a job. This past Sat, she drove by herself 1 hour to visit her boyfriend's family and last night she went to a Japanese buffet with tons of other people from work to celebrate a co-workers birthday. Still every night before bed we talk in my room for about 30-60 minutes about just everything. All this is to say let your dd be attached to you now. I think this helped make my dd feel so secure that she can be fine away from us sometimes but still often want to spend time with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 Thanks ladies! :grouphug: I just wanted to make sure I wasn't damaging her independence somehow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Are things going okay in her class? My dd went through a phase like this when she was around 5. Eventually, after much discussion and gentle coaxing, she told me a couple of the little girls were telling her she couldn't play with them because she didn't "go to their school." (meaning public school) I allowed her to sit in on my classes for a few months and then she went back into her own class and eventually made friends with those same girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Chiming in with the others--let her stay, and let her feel truly useful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Being the mother of dd off to college, I say to keep her with you. She'll grow up, really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Photo Ninja Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 I agree with the others. Let her stay. It won't hurt her to stay in the class where you are teaching, and it will help her solidify an attitude of serving others because she has the opportunityto help in any age appropriate way. It's a win for all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 I agree with others as well. I know that when my daughter was 4, she would cry if one of us wasn't in the nursery/sunday school class. I remember the Pastor told us we had better take control of the situation and not let her get her way. We didn't agree and we either kept her with us or went in with her. We don't regret it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staceyshoe Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 A common challenge for parents is helping their children feel comfortable outside that little classroom with their same-age peers. It sounds like your daughter is way ahead of the game in that respect. She may not be attending class with her same-age peers like most of the other children, but she has already found a way to be involved and serve the congregation. One of the purposes of children's ministry is to eventually assimilate the children into the body of the church. You might be close-by, but that doesn't minimize the fact that she is a contributing member of the church. Way to go, Mom! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 I'm a firm believer that there is no such thing as too attached to mom. I had a mom who felt that one could be too attached. She pushed and pushed. Well, she got what she wanted and can't understand why we aren't closer. kids will branch out on their on in their own time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 I haven't read all of the replies, but I say let her stay with you. I have a similar situation. I teach the 2-3yos on Wednesday night for AWANA. My 4yo almost always stays with me, rather than go to Cubbies because he is bored there. My 6yo often asks to stay too because she enjoys helping with the little ones even though she really enjoys Sparks. I don't want church to be something they dread EVER, so I let them come with me if they want, rather than pushing them to go somewhere they don't want to be. We are the same on Sunday mornings. If my 4yo doesn't want to go to his SS class, then he is welcome to sit with us and his big sister in the main service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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