How do you cope with anxiety?

[Perogi]

Perogi?

 

You are free to disregard this post because I am not a believer anymore.

 

But I don't see how the Christian-guilt you are heaping on yourself is helping you. I see it hurting you in the above and first post. Sure, you can prooftext and get a few verses that remind people to not complain. But Christians have an entire BOOK in the Bible of whining, complaining, and drama. 2 if you count Lamentations in addition to Psalms.

 

I don't believe for a second that an authentic God expects rainbows, unicorns, and lollipops to spew from your orifices daily.

 

It is ok that you worry about your life. Truly. If there is a Christian God, and He is full of grace, he gets it. If there is a Christian God, he made anxiety, too.

 

Give yourself a break,k?

 

Thank you for this.

 

I really am not trying to make myself feel guilty although certainly there has been some guilt mixed in. My anxiety is screaming so loud it's almost blocking out everything else.

 

I am just trying to remember and take hope in the idea that God is in control and remind myself of the other ways he has worked in our life - including selling houses that were not easy to sell.

 

But I will remember his grace as well.

[Perogi]

I think Joanne's posts are great. I agree with her that it is *okay* to complain. I agree with all of the posts about exercise. Forget couch to 5k, too complicated. Go walk up and down your block for ten minutes, three times a day.have a wiggle break in the middle of the day-put on a happy song and everyone dance around for ten minutes. Rest your mind and body in the evening. Simplify your meals. Take a bath with Epsom salts and a lavender candle. Relax your mind. Have a glass of wine. Read a book to keep your mind occupied with other thoughts just before bed.

 

But, I will also say that prayer is what helps me most in relieving my anxiety of situations that I cannot control. I love to be in control. Wen I am not, then it is stressful. Denying that I should be stressed doesn't help. What helps is saying, "God, I am only one tiny person. I cannot do a thing about X. Please take this burden from my shoulders. I cannot carry it; it is crushing me. I need your help." Being perfect or maintaining a perfect veneer is as much of an idol as anything else might be. That idea of a Christian who never worries, like Joanne says, the guilt isn't worth it.

 

None of us are perfect. If you need help from those around you, then that's okay. It is okay to say, "hey, I cannot do this activity/volunteer job/whatever until my life is a little less crazy." It is okay to call a friend and say that you need help with something or a night out. It is okay to ask your doctor if there is a medication that might help, if your anxiety is debilitating enough. It is okay not to be as cool as a cucumber. Expecting too much of yourself is just an additional burden that you are adding to your already heavy pack. Let the ideal go. How can people around you help? Ask. How can God help? Ask. Can this be humbling? Yes, ask me how I know (and I am an admitted control freak with a perfectionist streak). But, it is often a necessary part of getting what you need.

 

 

This sounds a lot like me - control freak with a perfectionist streak.

 

This week I am trying to be out of my house as much as possible which helps but also means that sometimes my friends are talking to me about it (trying to help) and sometimes it helps and sometimes it makes it worse. I really think that I need meds to level things out because I'm on day five of nausea, rapid heart rate, feeling like there is an imminent threat and my body is on full alert.

[dancer67]

You've gotten really good advice already.

 

One thing I would add that is not mentioned yet is to consider the fact that you are losing real quality of life days that you won't get back over something that hasn't happened yet. I had really bad anxiety when I first got married when certain health issues would come up. I learned from my dh whose motto is: "I won't worry until I know I have something to worry about." When you're worrying about possible scenarios of what "might happen", you're actually worrying about more than you'll ever have to handle, because only one future will happen. If you allow yourself to cope with it when it does, you can handle it much better. What I'm guessing you're trying to do now is cope with several futures at once, and it's more than a human being can handle! Additionally, the fact is that most of our worries never materialize, so we have wasted that time on something that never happened. It can take a while to get that through your head, but once it does, it's really helpful.

 

The combination of these two verses is helpful to me: Matt. 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

 

So if today you do not have to cope with the thing, don't try. I practiced this going through chemo. I would know that on days 6-10, I would hardly be able to eat. Or on day 3-5, I would have bad bone pain, etc. However, I would tell myself, "Today I just have to cope with bone pain. I can still eat fine." One day at a time.

 

Lamentations 3: 22-Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.²³ They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

 

I like this idea that the Lord's compassions are new every morning. I believe they are sufficient for what you need THAT day. You are not dealing with financial ruin today. So don't. Just deal with what you DO have to deal with today, and know that the Lord's compassions are sufficient to get you through. One day at a time.

 

I also think anxiety can sometimes be a way to try to control something. "If I worry about it enough, maybe I'll come up with a solution." If thinking about it is generating actual solutions, write them down. If not, it can help to verbalize this to yourself.

 

And exercise. It works as well as a drug. Preferably outside. (Others have already said that, but I find that it is an important key.)

 

 

Oh my goodness. This is EXACTLY what my therapist has been telling me for years. And my husband to. I have severe health anxiety. I believe it actually started when I lost a twin at birth.(I was one that thought nothing bad could ever happen to me, it always happens to someone else). Since that point, and then when I turned 40 is when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't even stand to watch TV because of all the "Women 40 and over should have a......" So it would freak me out. I had myself convinced I was now at "that age" of all of these cancers may very well come a reality. That statistics were high.

 

Everytime something would happen to me, I would catastrophize it. I had a mass on my kidney. I went right to kidney cancer. Even going as far as joining a forrum. I could not move from my seat and looked up every single website on Kidney Cancer. I had a three week wait for an IVP Ct Scan. It was the longest 3 weeks of my life. Turns out, I had an accessory spleen. Wasn't even attached to my kidney, and it was only found by accident when the scan was done for a kidney stone. So I lost 3 weeks of my life to sitting in the house. Worrying, crying, etc.

 

And I feel like if I go to the worse case scenario, sometimes I think that is going to help me prepare for it. So if I get bad news, I am expecting it. If I go around happy go lucky, and not worry, and I get bad news. I blame myself for being all happy and look what it got me, bad news. I know, it doesn't make any sense.

 

So far, I have diagnosed myself with breast cancer, kidney cancer, brain aneurysm(My father had one at the age of 48 and I am 45, so that freaks me out. He is still living. But had serious damage.), Uterine cancer, eyelid cancer(yep), Lung cancer, Melanoma, Heart problems, Leukemia, colon cancer, Lymphoma........

 

It is awful to live in fear, and when you get a cold, it is JUST a cold. Not something life threatning. I get a pain, and I think the worse.

 

I absolutely hate Dr's. Yet, I struggle. Should I go, or should I not go? Because once you are there and tell them you are concerned, their job is to follow up and send you for tests, which sends my anxiety into orbit. And I am an impatient person, and want answers NOW. Not waiting for test results for a week.

 

I have been told over and over to live for today, and don't worry about what might happen. And don't worry unless there is something to worry about. I just don't know how to change my way of thinking.

 

It is so true what you said "If you worry enough, you can come up with a solution". Again, this is SO ME. I will research the computer trying to find answers, and think I can come up with a solution as to WHY I have something, but many times those websites give you worse case scenarios. Yet I still do it. I need to know everything as to what it might be so I am prepared. I am a total control freak.

 

Somehow, I have to regain my life back, because I have lost a lot due to anxiety. But I am afraid if I let go just ONE time, that will be the time the worse case scenario will happen. Like I let my guard down.

 

Not sure if any of this makes any sense. But I have read a lot of the responses. Other then medications, anxiety is so debilitating for me, I cannot see myself when I am in crisis mode, exercising, walking, writing, reading. I feel like I can barely function, and even move away from the computer.

 

I know things have to change. But I am to afraid to take that step.

[justamouse]

I think Joanne's posts are great. I agree with her that it is *okay* to complain. I agree with all of the posts about exercise. Forget couch to 5k, too complicated. Go walk up and down your block for ten minutes, three times a day.have a wiggle break in the middle of the day-put on a happy song and everyone dance around for ten minutes. Rest your mind and body in the evening. Simplify your meals. Take a bath with Epsom salts and a lavender candle. Relax your mind. Have a glass of wine. Read a book to keep your mind occupied with other thoughts just before bed.

 

But, I will also say that prayer is what helps me most in relieving my anxiety of situations that I cannot control. I love to be in control. Wen I am not, then it is stressful. Denying that I should be stressed doesn't help. What helps is saying, "God, I am only one tiny person. I cannot do a thing about X. Please take this burden from my shoulders. I cannot carry it; it is crushing me. I need your help." Being perfect or maintaining a perfect veneer is as much of an idol as anything else might be. That idea of a Christian who never worries, like Joanne says, the guilt isn't worth it.

 

None of us are perfect. If you need help from those around you, then that's okay. It is okay to say, "hey, I cannot do this activity/volunteer job/whatever until my life is a little less crazy." It is okay to call a friend and say that you need help with something or a night out. It is okay to ask your doctor if there is a medication that might help, if your anxiety is debilitating enough. It is okay not to be as cool as a cucumber. Expecting too much of yourself is just an additional burden that you are adding to your already heavy pack. Let the ideal go. How can people around you help? Ask. How can God help? Ask. Can this be humbling? Yes, ask me how I know (and I am an admitted control freak with a perfectionist streak). But, it is often a necessary part of getting what you need.

 

 

I was going to quote a lot of people and add some, but Mrs. Mungo posted (in different words) exactly what I was going to say. And what Joanne said is also so very true.

 

David wasn't in the cave singing and pretending he wasn't under attack and hiding in a cave, you know? (I think this is where the name it claim it people go off beam). Job wasn't pretending his life didn't suck.

 

God and prayer get you *through* the turmoil, not take it away from you.

 

I can't say enough about getting OUTSIDE. A walk, no matter the weather. Pray, think about what you're grateful for, just get outside. (I can see why Charlotte Mason was such a stickler about developing this habit). Mucking stalls is one of my favorite activities when I'm anxious, as is cleaning my house. Why? Because the rote task releases energy, yet frees my brain.

 

Also, memorized prayer helps at times like these.

 

I also break out the most loved books at times like that. Something fluffy where I can lose myself in the story. I feel like they're mini mental vacations. When I was lying in a hospital bed awaiting a surgery I wasn't sure my in utero twins would make it through, I read romances. They made me laugh in a dark time.

 

:grouphug:

 

My dh, master of anxiety also has one of my favorites, he tells me, "Your ass is too big". That's code for you need to get grateful. Some days I was grateful for just waking up. I say that in all seriousness. But as I lay there just saying, "Well, I'm breathing" I would hear kid's feet, and be grateful for them and our love, and then it would grow from there...