plain jane Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I can't believe I'm even posting this. ::deep breath:: Since we are 'discussing' irrational fears, here goes my embarrassing post of the year: (I've NEVER admitted this to ANYONE IRL) Oh. And seriously, outside of this one fear of mine, I am a normal, functioning person. :D:tongue_smilie: I am irrationally fearful of vomiting. I would rather go for days feeling extremely nauseous than allow myself to, well you know. Of course, the nauseous feeling makes me very fearful that I will in fact get sick. It's a vicious cycle. I've read a lot about this on the internet & it's apparently quite a common fear. Most people who have this are extreme (I'm not, thankfully) and the only "cure" is medication. One can not cure the fear of vomiting by making the fearful person vomit.- this is apparently counter-productive. FFWD to life with kids. I am completely irrationally fearful of the stomach flu and such such illnesses that cause mass vomiting. Please don't laugh at me, I'm being very sincere here. -I did mention my fear was irrational, right? Anyways, my fear is strong enough that it has actually been my #1 reason for not wanting more kiddos in the past. Pathetic, I know but I'm being honest here. Even now, the thought of having more than 4 children vomiting at the same time makes my pulse race like nothing else. For those of you with fears, you know the feeling I speak of. That is how I get when the kids say their tummies hurt. Dh is very sympathetic and supportive even though he thinks I'm completely loopy.:D He understands that this is a fear like any other and that I have little control over *how* I feel. I do however, know that I have control on how I behave. Instead of turning to hysterics when the littles are sick, I would like to have a better "plan" if I can use that word. I know puking is gross and nobody enjoys it, but it makes my pulse race like nothing else. I break out into cold sweat. You get the idea. I get so worked up I will lose my appetite for DAYS- making it hard to cook for the ones that aren't sick, kwim? I have a hard time being near the kids because I'm freaking out about how sick they feel & I sympathize too much with that feeling. Then I start worrying that I'm next. Then I try to disinfect everything so that the rest don't get it.- and y'all know how well that works. ;) I even have a hard time even talking to a friend on the phone when her kids have the tummy bug because I start wondering if we'll get it too. Makes me want to break out the bleach! :lol::001_huh: So I guess this is where a forum of experience mothers comes in. Please, I really need help here! What do you do in your home when the littles are sick?? I need a voice of reason to give me some practical tips. Thanks for reading all of this. I'm so embarrassed that I admitted this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DB in NJ Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I am hardly a voice of reason when it comes to this subject. When my oldest was about 2, we had taken him to the local amusement park. dh brought us home then left for school (night classes). Let's just say that the merry-go-round and the lemonade didn't get along with ds's tummy. And what did I do? I called my mil to come clean it up. Yes, I did. I admit it. I'm a total wuss when it comes to that stuff. I put the baby in the tub and washed him, but the stuff on the floor? Uh, no. And I had to keep telling myself that it was a combo of the lemonade (I had none) and the ride (which I didn't go on) so I had no fear of "catching" it myself. I feel your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Rely on my 12 yr dd to step in. Seriously. She is much more able to deal with this than I (I'm ashamed to say.) My fears aren't as great as yours but I have difficulty dealing with vomiting. When the kids were younger I'd stand outside the bathroom door (outside the door) saying "it's okay so and so. Mommy is right here (outside the door)." They never seemed to notice I wasn't right there in the room with them. lol! My dd does not seem to be disturbed by vomit, blood, etc. etc. She helps those in need quite readily (while her wimpy mother whimpers in the background). I too have a very helpful dh who, when he's home, steps in. BTW, I do take care of the laundry,etc. afterwards but I just can't be around "during the act". Fortunately my kids are relatively healthy! Anyway I just wanted to let you know that others share your fear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DB in NJ Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I can't read this thread anymore. I'm getting woozy..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Well, I think you sound perfectly reasonable. Vomit, puke, throw up what ever you call it is gross. I'm able to take care of my kids, but don't be too harsh if I gag away. And I'm a disinfectant freak too. :glare: Baby spit up doesn't bug me one bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumping In Puddles Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Emetophobia. I have it too. I haven't vomited in 15 years! Now, when I feel very woozy, sick, and I feel like vomiting, my body seems to let it go in the other direction. Vomiting IS NOT AN OPTION! I feel your pain. I can, however, take care of my kids when they vomit... I just can't do it myself! I hate when people are all "you'll feel better if you just throw up!" NO I WON'T! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Emetophobia. I have it too. I haven't vomited in 15 years! Now, when I feel very woozy, sick, and I feel like vomiting, my body seems to let it go in the other direction. Vomiting IS NOT AN OPTION! I feel your pain. I can, however, take care of my kids when they vomit... I just can't do it myself! I hate when people are all "you'll feel better if you just throw up!" NO I WON'T! :grouphug: I think you're lucky you can cope to take care of the kiddos when they're sick. I think my biggest fear is that I'll be next. You think they'd freak if I started wearing a surgeon-like mask over my face when they are sick?? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Oh my, I can't help you at all here. I probably shouldn't admit to this, but throwing up doesn't bother me at all. I'd make a great bulimic. When one of mine would get the urps, I'd sleep in their room on the floor with them all together, so they'd all catch it and we could get it over with. I don't know if this will help, but my mom always told me when you worry/are afraid of something the best thing to do is imagine it happening and then decide what steps you should take if it does happen. I'm not sure it would work with an irrational fear though, because it's...........irrational. Does it help any to focus really hard on the children, and making them feel better? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Oh my, I can't help you at all here. I probably shouldn't admit to this, but throwing up doesn't bother me at all. I'd make a great bulimic. When one of mine would get the urps, I'd sleep in their room on the floor with them all together, so they'd all catch it and we could get it over with. I don't know if this will help, but my mom always told me when you worry/are afraid of something the best thing to do is imagine it happening and then decide what steps you should take if it does happen. I'm not sure it would work with an irrational fear though, because it's...........irrational. Does it help any to focus really hard on the children, and making them feel better? Thanks Remuda! :::shudder::: :lol: I can't even imagine *me* purposely putting them all in one room so they'd all get sick. Maybe in another 5 years, but mine are *far* too young for that! :lol: I really *am* trying to imagine it happening and how I would like to deal with it. That's why I'm posting here.- I really would like some advice on a more ideal way to cope. I need practical, rational solutions to my irrational problem. :tongue_smilie: And no, it doesn't help to focus really hard the the kiddos because then I get so upset that they are so sick.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommylawyer Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I'm not a fan of puke. Baby urp doesn't bother me so much, but full blown kid puke (or anyone's puke for that matter) makes me what to hurl too. I'm pretty much no help if one of the kids gets sick and doesn't make it to the toilet on time (that's where I prefer for the puke to go; easy to clean, just flush). If the kids don't make it to the potty, DH has to clean it up. I can't - I start gagging uncontrollably. I have a very sensitive gag reflex. (When I got my own apartment in my 20s, it was hard for me to clean MY OWN toilet without gagging, so puke - I can't really handle.) I don't have a fear of the puke happening, just a fear of having to clean it up. Okay, so I'm useless as far as helping out on this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Dominion Heather Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I could have written this post. That is all I have to say. I have to go now because you all said the bad word. (vomit) It makes me feel sick just to write it. It I ever develop agoraphobia, it will be because of my fear of germs outside my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I'm probably no help, but I understand. As I person who has never had a problem with doing the deed herself, thanks to motion sickness, I will stand by your and your fear. I'll leave the room if I need to you know, and you keep the spiders away from me. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 You are not alone. With my youngest dd, the stomach flu is dangerous! But I would say I have gotten much better than when I was younger (12) and left my poor brother (7 at the time) to be sick with my 3 year-old brother (who went and got a bucket). I went to my room, shut the door, and turned on a radio. When my mother came home she was livid. I was after all I was old enough to have known better. I could handle dirty diapers, baby spit-up, but not puke. Guess I have grown up a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Thanks Remuda!:::shudder::: :lol: I can't even imagine *me* purposely putting them all in one room so they'd all get sick. Maybe in another 5 years, but mine are *far* too young for that! :lol: I really *am* trying to imagine it happening and how I would like to deal with it. That's why I'm posting here.- I really would like some advice on a more ideal way to cope. I need practical, rational solutions to my irrational problem. :tongue_smilie: And no, it doesn't help to focus really hard the the kiddos because then I get so upset that they are so sick.:glare: Oh, I did this when mine were little. Trips were three or so, next oldest four, then seven yrs. old. The kids still laugh about it. Whenever one would get sick I'd line the floor of the boy's room with layers and layers of sheets. Get lots of buckets and in we'd go for the night. If someone missed the bucket I'd just roll up the sheet and underneath there would be a clean one ready to go! Now that mine are older I just holler, "If you miss the toilet, clean it up!" I've got some that like to be left alone and some that want me in there holding their hair out of the way. Go with the flow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obiandelismom Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I read a book (The Anxiety Cure for Kids) a year or so ago, because my 7yo has a few pretty strong fears, and I wanted some ideas of how to deal with them. I'm not without my own fears, though, so a lot of it ended up helping me more than him! One of the things from that book that really stuck with me was the author's claim that acting on a fear (changing your life to avoid the possibility of exposure) actually makes the fear WORSE! It signals to the "animal" part of your brain (the part that controls the fight-or-flight response) that there really is a danger (must be, right? If you're going to all this trouble to avoid it?), and it actually ramps up the fear response. I know it seems counter-intuitive. It just seems rational to change a few things around to minimize the possibility of exposure, right? But, unfortunately, you cannot get over an irrational fear by acting rationally. By changing your life around (and by constantly thinking about the worst-case-scenario) you are channelling a LOT of energy into this fear, and it's growing - as a direct result! If you want it to become a smaller fear, you have to quit feeding it. It's really hard to do! But in my case it absolutely worked. I hope you find something that helps! I know how it is to feel so helpless in the face of something that is inevitable. These kinds of fears are the hardest, because trying for avoidance so affects your day-to-day life. :grouphug: Good luck!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 My dad once told me that he had vomited once as a kid and hated the whole experience so much that he vowed he'd never do it again. He died a couple of years ago at 74, and he had kept his vow. Yet when I was a kid, he'd clean up after me like a saint. Vomit is yucky, no two ways about it. No advice, and I don't share this as a deep fear, but I sympathize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nayner Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I'm right there with you. When I had two kids, deep in my heart I knew I wanted a third, but one particular spring we had several nasty tummy bugs....and I hate to say this, but at that time my thinking was: another little one potentially meant...more puke! My youngest (third)is two now, and in 2007 no one in our family threw up! But I still hate it and feel the way you described. When kids are sick, lysol becomes an extension of my arm! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 It seems like you have a lot of barfing at your house. I only have two kids but the older one has only thrown up maybe four times in his life and the little one only once. I really hate it when other people (even my own kids) throw up. I also hate throwing up myself. So we do *a lot* of hand washing around here. The kids wash their hands *every* time they come inside, *every* time they go to the bathroom, and *every* time before they eat even if they just washed their hands. I don't get prepared cold foods, like pasta salad or cole slaw, at the store because, well, you never know. I wash my hands *a lot* while cooking. I use a meat thermometer. I guess my point is that I try to prevent stomach stuff. When it happens, I locate the child as close as I can to the bathroom. I give him a bucket. I tell him if he can't make it to the bathroom to just do it on the blanket (easer to clean than the carpet). I use a lot of disinfectent. I don't let them eat anything until I'm pretty sure I won't see it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 just sympathize. My brother died from Reyes Syndrome when we were 14. He spent the last week of his life vomiting. As a result whenever I do and I think it has been twice since then (20+ years) I cry. When I think I am going to, I cry. My dh has been able to pretty much deal with the kids when they have gotten sick, but they are much for that kind of sickness. We wash our hands a lot around here as well. So Remumom(sp?) what do I do 'cause I don't do vomit or spiders?:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 :DMy mistake it was Paula who is afraid of spiders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I know how you feel. When I was little, a girl came to stay with us while her mom was in the hospital. She got a stomach virus while at our house. And she couldn't stop throwing up. So we finally all piled in the car to take her to her other parent. And still she kept going. I was completely traumatized--I just sat in the other corner of the car with my eyes shut tight and my ears plugged up. For years I couldn't get over this. I too wondered how I could handle kids because of this. Fortunately, dh has great empathy in this area and goes straight to the kids to help--bless his heart, he'll even clean up another kid's mess (he says he just feels so sorry for them, which gives him energy to act). And now, I can help too, though it does still upset me. Ask yourself what about it upsets you so much: Is it loss of control? I came to the conclusion that to me, it seemed so violent. And the violence of it upset my sensitive nature...that and the fact that something so violent could come over me without my permission--I didn't like that one bit. But once I identified why it was so bothersome to me, it didn't seem to have as much power over me. You are not weird--we all have things like this. You should just witness my strong husband's irrational aversion to mustard!! Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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