Withdrawing child from school mid-year

[songsparrow]

I am considering pulling both of my children out of school to homeschool them for the remainder of the year. If I do this, how is it properly handled? Should I give their teachers advance notice? Should I request a conference with their teachers?

 

Thanks!

[Chrysalis Academy]

I did this last year, and here is what I did, your situation may be different depending on your state regs. In CA, you can file a private school affidavit, and set up a legal private school in your own home with zero hassle. So I picked a name for my school, filed my PSA, met with the principal and let him know my intentions, briefly met with the teacher and let her know my plan (we had met previously to discuss how dd's year was going, so it wasn't entirely out of the blue). Then I wrote a letter to the school, letting them know I was withdrawing dd and requesting that her cum file be sent to Chrysalis Academy, name and address included. The sec. at first didn't want to let go of the cum file, but after she called the District office they told her I was correct, and she sent it. That was it! It was easy.

 

It totally depends on your relationship with the school, teachers, principals, and the reason you are pulling your kid, but for me, because my younger was in K at the school, it was really important to maintain good relationships at the school. It worked out very wel, and Miss P was welcomed at school for Play Day (day before school lets out, big party) as well as for other parties and events (that we attended because Mo was still a student there).

[Joshin]

It completely depends on your state. For example, here in Washington I just have to file an intent to homeschool and fill out the withdrawal paperwork with the school (just like if I was moving to another state or moving to a different school). If you want the school records, that depends on your school district. In our district we request records from the district offices, on other districts you request them from the school.

 

Personally, I wouldn't request conferences with the teachers. Even if the teacher says your child is doing fine on xyz, you will still need to use placement tests for any curriculum you plan on using.

[Mergath]

Even if you live in a state with zero regs, I'd still give the teacher some notice, just to keep things polite and civil. You never know what might happen, and if you could end up sending your kids to a public school again. ;)

[LMV]

How old are your children?

 

We're working towards doing this with our eight year old foster daughter. The current loose plan is to use the Christmas holiday break as the end of public school and just have her not return after that. I just sent an email to her classroom teacher and the principal of her school informing them of our plans and giving them some space to suggest ways to make the transition smoother or even the option to recommend that we leave her in public school if they feel that is in her best interest. Our situation is a little different because the school she is currently attending is about ninety minutes from where we live and it isn't realistic for us or her caseworker to keep driving her back and forth. Ultimately there will need to be a transition mid year somehow even if it is just from one public school to another.

[Coffeemama]

When I pulled my children out (from private school) three years ago, I informed the teachers and principal in person and in writing. I gave the notice after school on Monday of Thanksgiving week that Wednesday would be their last day. A short notice seemed to work well. That same Monday, I sent a certfied letter to my town about the decision to homeschool.

[Ellie]

I am considering pulling both of my children out of school to homeschool them for the remainder of the year. If I do this, how is it properly handled?

 

You need to know the laws in your state and follow them to.the.letter. It is almost never a good idea to ask the school what you're supposed to do.

 

Should I give their teachers advance notice?

 

In general, no. That gives them the opportunity to try to talk you out of it, or to tell you that you have to do things that you don't.

 

Should I request a conference with their teachers?

No. There would be no point. You're withdrawing your children because, for whatever reason, you are not satisfied with their current education situation. A conference would not have any merit. The teacher won't be familiar with homeschooling methods and instructional materials, what the law requires, or anything else, and may take the whole thing personally, KWIM? Yes, it could go the other way, but it isn't common.

 

I know I sound a little paranoid and negative, but we all know more people who have had the negative experiences than have had positive ones.

[Mrs Twain]

As far as notifiying the teacher, I think that depends on your situation. I withdrew my son mid-year because his teacher was a depicable, nasty person who (among many other things) criticized and picked on boys. I did not give that teacher any notice because I thought that she would surely do something mean to my son in response. I followed my state's laws for withdrawing him, and then I told the school the first day that he was not going to come any longer. I thought that was the safest plan for my son's situation.

 

If you have a good relationship with the teacher, then advance notice and a smooth transition may be possible. However, I think most public school teachers are opposed to homeschooling and may make it somewhat unpleasant during the withdrawal.

 

Defintely follow all of your state's laws perfectly. You don't want to be brought up on truancy charges because you neglected to do something in the proper way.

 

Also, I would recommend joining HSLDA for legal protection if you are in line with their values and goals.

[MooCow]

Well, my dh and I pulled our child right after we had a very bad meeting with the principal. The office staff was wonderful (they loved our children), and could not have been more helpful. Looking back, it's funny now because they were trying so hard to be professional, and ended up in tears when we all said our goodbyes.

[5LittleMonkeys]

DON'T ask the school for advice on how to handle it. Find out the laws in your state and follow the option that best fits your needs. In TN there are three options, one being to register as a private schooler under the Jeter Memorandum. When I pulled my dc out I sent an e-mail to each of their teachers 3 days prior to their last day, simply out of respect to let them know my dc where transferring to a different school (I gave them the name of my cover school - I did not tell them that I was homeschooling). I registered with my cover school the same day. My cover school took care of requesting transcripts from the public school. That's all I had to do. No letter to the school board, no letter to the principal. The ps office staff did call me a few days later once they realized that I was transferring them to a cover school in order to homeschool and tried to tell me that I had to come sign papers with them in order to be able to homeschool my children...I told them that I knew that to be untrue but if they wanted to mail them to me certified mail I'd be happy to have my attorney look them over and get back to them. They never sent them. ;)

 

Bottom line - know your rights, know your laws, don't rely on the ps to guide you correctly. In my experience many ps employees don't even know the homeschooling laws.

 

Good luck and congratulations on taking this big step!

[hsbeth]

You've been given great advice. First have a clear understanding of state laws and get any paperwork ready to file.

 

We pulled our children mid-year 6 years ago. I think a shorter notice is best, but would have felt uncomfortable giving no notice at all. We told our kids on a Wed. after school that Friday would be their last day and gave them the choice of whether or not to attend school those last two days. One chose to attend, two didn't. We notified their schools in writing and had quick conversations with the teachers involved (basically just thanking them for working with our children, etc.). Everything was handled in a friendly and professional manner by all parties, but home schooling is relatively common and accepted in my community.

[JFSinIL]

I did this - first my then 3rd-grader, mid-year. We had already been after schooling history (his fav. subject) and the teacher had admitted that he was so bright she was sending him to the library for part of each day to read the encyclopedia. This was a Catholic school with 30 kids per room - the teacher privately told me I was doing the best thing for my kidlet.

 

His younger sister I removed after another quarter of the year passed - I wanted to get the boy situated before adding her to the mix. Again, the teacher told me - off the record - that it was the best thing I could do.

 

I made sure the teachers AND the office staff knew it was NOT the teacher's fault but that hubby and I really wanted to homeschool.

 

Just make sure you leave the school letting the teachers and staff know it is not them, but your desire to homeschool, that is making you pull your kids. Even if that is a fib.

 

Now - my youngest was finally pulled from school due to the awful math program the district insisted the schools use. And I made sure they knew it! But I also insisted that the teacher was wonderful and left on a high note in that regard. Because she was - she didn't get to pick the math program!

[bobbeym]

You've gotten great advice. Start with knowing your state's laws backwards and forwards.

 

We withdrew our son from public school mid-January without any notice. Ours was a situation where DS was going to be sent to a behavior-modification school following an out of school suspension. It was against our wishes and would have been detrimental to the welfare of my son. The school had the ability to not send him there but chose to make an example out of him instead. We chose otherwise.

 

The day he was first supposed to attend the new school, we sent a notarized letter by certified mail to the school stating our intent to withdraw our son effective that date and would be providing him with a private education at home instead. A PDF of the letter was emailed directly to the principal so she was aware why he wasn't at the new school. That same day we joined the state's homeschool coalition so we'd have some legal backup if it was needed.

 

They tried to convince us we needed to come in and fill out all kinds of paperwork, but I knew all we needed was a f/u letter to the school reiterating our intent to homeschool and giving dates of when we started. We withdrew him on a Wednesday, and officially for legal purposes, starting homeschooling the following Monday.

[Mom22ns]

Don'ts:

Don't ask the school for advice.

Don't give advanced notice.

Don't have a conference.

Don't discuss it with the school in any way.

 

Dos:

Do make sure you know you state laws.

Do give whatever notice is required by your state law. (I had to give written notice so the school would know they weren't truant.)

Do feel free to say a polite goodbye at the end of their last day.

 

You don't have to be mean or ugly about it, but face it, you are firing them. One or more people at the school will probably resent your decision. It is your choice. You don't need to justify it or explain it. It won't make them feel better and will probably make you feel much worse. Know and follow the homeschooling laws and prepare to enjoy the experience.

[FLDebbie]

I have to disagree with people who have said not to tell anything to the school. Unless you have a mean, vengeful teacher, I'd talk to them. I think of it like leaving a job (even one you hate). You never know what will happen in life, and it's best to talk and be polite when leaving. You don't have to ask their advice or permission, but talking can help alleviate any misunderstandings and perhaps help the school identify what they could do to improve.

 

I pulled my son last year part way through the year. Part of the reason was because of the teacher and the class environment, but part was because of my son. I talked with both the teacher and the adminsitration and let them know in a professional way why I pulled him from school. I think this helps with communication, but it also helps the school know why kids are leaving - was it the school?, was it the child? Can they do anything for other kids? In our school the principal has a strict no class changing policy. Well, after I pulled my son and let them know part of the reason was the class environment, two of the major trouble makers were moved to different classes and separated. It didn't help my son, but it certainly helped the other kids in the class. At no time, did anyone at the school try to change my mind or question my decision. I think if you have well thought out reasons for wanting to homeschool and share your thoughts, most people will be understanding (at least that was my experience).

[boscopup]

I pulled my son halfway through first grade. We had no problems with the teachers/staff/kids. It was purely academic reasons that I was pulling him.

 

About 1 or 2 weeks before the last day of the semester, I e-mailed his teacher and explained briefly why I was pulling him (so he could work at his own pace, etc.), and I told her how much I liked her as a teacher, etc. At the same time, I also sent an e-mail to the VP to notify him of withdrawal. This was a private school, so I also had to ask them about getting tuition back, since we'd paid for the whole year at the beginning of the year. They prorated it. :D Anyway, I also told the VP how much I had liked DS's teachers for both K and 1st.

 

During all this, I also contacted the cover school I was going to join, and made arrangements to get signed up (per the law in my state - we have to have a cover school).

 

It was all easy peasy, and I had zero issues with the staff at the school. They were very nice about it all. I had one mom of another kid in the class ask why I didn't just bump my son up a grade, so I had to explain why that wouldn't work for him (he'd still be ahead in the subjects he was ahead in, and he'd struggle with writing at that level). That mom understood once I explained that. There was another mom that seemed upset, but didn't talk to me about it, and I've talked to her since then and it was all good. So really, it was so painless compared to what I was expecting!

[bobbeym]

I have to disagree with people who have said not to tell anything to the school. Unless you have a mean, vengeful teacher, I'd talk to them. I think of it like leaving a job (even one you hate). You never know what will happen in life, and it's best to talk and be polite when leaving. You don't have to ask their advice or permission, but talking can help alleviate any misunderstandings and perhaps help the school identify what they could do to improve.

 

As far as talking to the teacher/s or school administrators, I think you have to rely on your intuition as to whether it's good or bad to do so in advance.

 

I know that some of DS's teachers would have been very receptive to our decision and wished us the best of luck. Some of the others would have told us flat out that we'd fail. The school principal herself told us that while we could appeal her decision to a committee, she was a member of that committee and would have the final say-so since it impacted her school, and would deny any appeal we made. Obviously we didn't see much point in bothering to give them advance notice and was cordially polite in our to-the-letter-of-the-law withdrawal and attestation letters and any subsequent communication was via email only.

 

Even then, we *still* crossed words with them when we returned in May for end of the year concerts. They tried to say DS couldn't be on campus. I was prepared for them though and could quote their own policies back to them allowing him onsite for open to the public events.

[mythreesonz]

I have done this more then once.

2 of them were a pretty quick decision. With ODD we had a meeting at school (private Catholic) On a Wednesday. In the meeting they said we can not service him( Learning disability) and you have to the end of this month to find an alternate. I went to a school they suggested and set a meeting up for me the next morning. Which was not acceptable. Went right from their to the superintendents office to fill out paperwork, went from their to pick him up from school and he never went back. Second Ds the first time he was in school we let the teacher know we gave about a weeks notice. The second time we pulled him out we made a decision Monday mid morning. I filled out the paperwork and got approval and he didn't go back Tuesday.

My third DS we had been talking to the teacher for a month about the possibility. When we finally made the decision I gave her 6-7 days notice. Of course she knew it was coming and was heavily persuading us to do it.

All 3 times the teachers were great. I never had a problem with them and they all contacted me either before or after the withdrawal to encourage me. This was in 2 different states. My last one to be pulled from Public was this September. He was in Year round school and had started July 7. She emails me even know every few weeks offering me things she had in her class that she isn't using or books that were his that they are not going to use next year etc.. Last year when we pulled the middle school boy even though it was sudden and we had not given them notice 3 of his 6 teachers contacted me after offering me help. Even at the Catholic school the teachers were understanding of why we were doing it and not one of the many teachers we have had tried to talk us out of it.