plain jane Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 A few of you may remember I had a huge crisis a couple of months ago. I was deeply hurt and reached out here for prayer. Some of you did PM me for details and I did share what was going on with those who did. All that is not important, other than to say that I still deeply appreciate the support and prayers I received from the Hive. I did, however, talk to a lady I know IRL. She is not my best friend, but I am closer to her than just an acquaintance. At the time (for severally reasons I don't want to get into on a public forum) she seemed to me like the best person to talk to. Plus, I really needed someone, kwim? Suffice to say that this person has not spoken to me since, despite my efforts to contact them on a casual level. I mean, she spoke to me for days after but that was it. I'm really hurt. I didn't do anything to offend this lady. I was in crisis and turned to the wrong person, I guess. I'm sad because we were getting a lot closer and I really thought she would be a good person to confide in and that we were heading towards having a real friendship. Goes to show you never can tell. It still hurts and I wish I had kept my mouth shut. The good thing is I don't have much reason to accidentally run into her and my kids don't go to her kids' school (obviously) so they won't see each other either. I don't really know for sure what it is about what happened to me that offended her but it is clear she is avoiding me. It still hurts and I wish I had kept my mouth shut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm sorry you lost a friend. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 :grouphug: I'm really sorry you've had to experience such hurt at a time when you most needed support. I wouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions though. It very likely has nothing to do with anything you've said or done. It sounds to me as though it could be much more her problem. Maybe she has something going on just now that you're unaware of. I hope life's a little easier for you these days. Keep reaching out to people, there are a lot of good, caring, worthwhile people out there. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 Hmmmm. I've gotten busy and had friends come to me and ask why I'm avoiding them. I've had friends who have avoided me, but when I asked them about it, they were shocked and had honestly just gotten busy. This has happened many times in my life. I've been on both sides--as the friend who seems to be avoiding someone, and as the hurt person wondering what I did to make someone avoid me. I spent a good year sad and crying every few days over a "lost friendship" that wasn't actually lost at all. But I never asked to see why she was "avoiding me." From my experiences, I would suggest that you flat out ask. Or, if that's too hard for you, set up a firm lunch date (or whatever) to test the waters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 ((((())))) Jane. I hope it is resolved soon. I haven't forgotten and you are regularly in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 {{Hugs}}. I am sorry, Jane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 That stinks, I am so sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 :grouphug: I'm really sorry you've had to experience such hurt at a time when you most needed support. I wouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions though. It very likely has nothing to do with anything you've said or done. It sounds to me as though it could be much more her problem. Maybe she has something going on just now that you're unaware of. I hope life's a little easier for you these days. Keep reaching out to people, there are a lot of good, caring, worthwhile people out there. :grouphug: This was my initial thought--that she has something going on and is unaware of how you feel. Or, again like Cassy said, it could just be her problem. Maybe, for her own personal reasons, she cannot deal well with what you shared with her? Maybe she just doesn't know how to be a good friend right now? I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that it's likely not something you said or did to offend her. I hate to admit it, but I have a friend from high school that I do avoid. It hurts me, but I cannot be a good friend to her. It is my problem, not hers. Now, her/my situation is different--in her case, she has serious drug issues, and for many reasons stemming from that I cannot have her in close contact in my life (my kids, my job, etc.). It's mostly a safety issue in my case. But perhaps what you confided to her hit too close to home? Maybe she experienced something similar and is having a hard time processing it emotionally? Just rambling here, but again my point is it probably isn't anything you did or said. :grouphug: I hope you find someone else you can confide and lean on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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