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Should I be worried that my dd (2.5 years old) isn't very attached to me?


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This is something that makes me very sad. Lately, the past 6 months or so, my 2nd daughter, who is 2.5 years old, hasn't been acting attached to me. She runs to her aunt to hold hands with her instead of mine, she seeks out my friend instead of me when she gets a boo-boo. We have a 10 month old dd too, so I know that I haven't been spending as much one-on-one time with my 2.5 year old lately, she mostly finds things to do around the house while I homeschool the older ones or take care of the baby. I try to make sure to spend time reading her the board books she loves, or singing songs or playing finger games that she enjoys. However, I don't think it's enough, clearly it's not been enough. I felt so sad this weekend when I saw how quickly she looks to other ladies instead of me. I want to my children to feel loved and be close to us as the parents. She's a very bright, active, outgoing, talkative little girl...if she could have her way, she would be out every day, meeting people. I tend to be much more quiet and a homebody. What should I be doing with her to get more connected to her? When I do have time to play with her, she's pushes away when I try to give hugs and kisses, which is what makes ME feel closer to her. I don't want to lose my daughter.

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This website has attachment activities you could try with your daughter: http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=95&Itemid=75

 

It's obviously geared toward adoptive parents, but it works for any family experiencing attachment issues. It happens in biological families more than people realize. I think it's awesome you recognized some issues and want to work on them. Incorporating some of the attachment activities certainly won't hurt and it could definitely help :grouphug: .

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Thank you both for your comforting words and taking time to help me out. Mergath, I think you're onto something with the co-sleeping...we'll try that at naptime just to get us through this phase. And Sparrow, I really liked the website link that you provided - thank you! The attachment activities are just what my daughter and I need, I printed them out and will try the activities with her this week.

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I just want to offer you a hug, and to remind you that while your daughter may be feeling neglected b/c of your younger baby, that you are certainly NOT going to "lose" her! By all means, spend extra time with her and give her the reassurance that she needs in whatever ways you can, but don't beat yourself up or imagine terrible things. We mothers are great at imagining worst-case scenarios. When my oldest dd was a toddler, I used to cry at night because she was so attached to my Dad that she would run to him rather than me. I thought she loved him more than she did me. Well, 16 or so years later, she still loves me!

 

Hugs,

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