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Would this upset you or am I overreacting?

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I think by now I can't add anything to this except to say beyond being right you are way more of a bigger person I would have been. I would have left. Plain and simple I would have gotten up and walked out withut saying a word. When my husband got home and had the nerve to question me I would have looked him straight in the eye and sid, I didn't realize that when I agreed to go I was the one doing all the work. I never signed on for that or was even asked. I didn't realize I had to watch my husband googling another woman like a hormonal teenager. When I realized this was the expectations of me I decided my time and attention was better spent elsewhere.

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Years ago a woman in our church was hyper flirty with dh, touching him, getting very close physically, batting her eyes at him, appealing to him in various ways- both in front of our kids and in front of me. She always totally dissed me. Earlier on she had spoken to a group of people in our church and I told dh that if she wasn't in an affair, she was looking for one.


Turns out she had been in an on-going, years long affair. Turns out that my dh had no idea she was flirting with him and he just thought she was "lonely" and needed comforted. This was the same year that dh was propositioned by a women in our Bible Study group. Fact: there are women out there that want what you have.


It could be that your dh was clueless. BUT, the fact that he didn't respond to you when you confronted him is a yellow flag. If he's not repentant and sorry for dishonoring you in front of his family/children and YOU, then that is a definite problem.


I'd be upset. And then I'd set some boundaries with dh, not in anger, but in firmness. Did he violate you? What was the violation? Does he owe you retribution (something justly deserved), if so, what? What will the consequences be if he does not take your concerns seriously?

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Everyone - thanks again for your input - I sincerely appreciate it. You all validated that my feelings were not wrong - everyone one of you thought his behavior was inappropriate in some way.


I really should have stood up to everyone about dinner - but I'm a people pleaser who finds it almost impossible to say no - I really need to work on that.

I appreciate the advice regarding that how to handle that type of situation in the future.


We were able to talk last night (he worked yesterday). He seemed to finally realize that what he did was despicable, and he profusely apologized. He still insisted that he just viewed her like a familiar friend - girl or guy - and he didn't mean to flirt. TBH - I don't fully buy that excuse bc I've never seen him interact physically like that with any friend - male or female. He may have been somewhat clueless, but not totally. We did discuss (i.e. I told him) what appropriate and inappropriate boundaries are for married men; he agreed that they made sense and assured me that he will keep appropriate boundaries in the future.


He couldn't come up with any reasons for why he ignored me, didn't help me, etc. We need to have a LONG discussion about that one. I really need more answers than just, "I'm sorry."


So, he finally "gets it" - at least somewhat. We're moving forward, but it will take awhile for him to gain my trust and respect again.


Again - thank you so very much for your support and validation! I so appreciate it.


So glad that he finally understood, even if only in part. Hopefully he wasn't saying it just to "keep the peace" although that has its merits too. You are a gracious person--much moreso than I--and I hope for the best outcome for you!

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Duplicate post.


I did not see my post in the thread after I clicked to post, so I clicked again.


However, when I exited thread, I saw I was last poster. Opened it again and I had double posted.



The same thing keeps happening to me. :glare:


I hope they're able to fix the problem soon, because I feel badly about posting two or three times when I only intended to post once.

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