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DD11 has a "boyfriend"


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Sigh....I am honestly at a loss on how to deal with this. She is so young! We never had a rule of you cannot have a boyfriend until whatever age because I honestly thought she was nowhere near this. Guess I was wrong. She said that having a boyfriend means that you go to dances together (she attends the middle school dances with her PS friends).

 

So, what is a mom to do? Ban the boyfriend? Tell her she is too young? Let and it go?

 

HELP!!!!!!

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Sigh....I am honestly at a loss on how to deal with this. She is so young! We never had a rule of you cannot have a boyfriend until whatever age because I honestly thought she was nowhere near this. Guess I was wrong. She said that having a boyfriend means that you go to dances together (she attends the middle school dances with her PS friends).

 

So, what is a mom to do? Ban the boyfriend? Tell her she is too young? Let and it go?

 

HELP!!!!!!

 

You'll get different answers, but if all it means to her is that she has someone to go to the dance with, I'd let it go.

 

My son had a girlfriend for about a month. This meant only that they put "in a relationship" on Facebook and texted each other (all appropriate school chat and stuff like that - I checked). They went to different schools and only saw each other one time this entire month. They mutually decided to end it because of logistics.

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I think you had better come up with some dating rules, pronto! I'd probably not be too worried about it, yet, but I'd definitely establish guidelines about what you consider appropriate.

 

If it were me, I'd say it's okay to have a "boyfriend" if it means that it's someone you like and with whom you maybe hang out in group settings, like a PS dance. I told my boys they could go out on actual dates when they were 15, so I'd say the same thing for a girl, too. I certainly wouldn't be letting them talk/text a lot at this young of an age. I would also definitely tell them again what our family thinks about sex.

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Guest inoubliable

I'd let it go. What's to ban? The...dance? What's she too young for? She's already going to the dances with her friends, yes?

 

:grouphug:

 

It sounds like a perfectly normal middle school "relationship" and not one to worry much over. Could be a good way to start conversations with your dd on how you view dating.

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