What to do about DIL's high school plans

[bobbeym]

Help pick my brain about my DIL please. I finally got her transcripts in from the ps she attended in CA and NVVA. Between them, over 2.5 years of schooling, she only has 7.5 credits total, with another 2.5 credits in progress now. I know she was dealing with both a serious back injury and major depression in CA that affected her grades. I’m unclear on the real story in NV, but they show she was withdrawn 1/20/12, so I’m not sure if the F’s are because she didn’t finish the semester or if she just wasn’t doing the work for whatever reason. I’m still convinced there’s a learning disability in there somewhere even though she and her older sister (the only other person in her family I'm in contact with) aren’t aware of her being diagnosed with anything in the past.

 

I have the transcript template at home ready to be filled in, and I know my first step should be to fill it out and talk to her about it. But I need to have some ideas to present for next steps. I know I can technically graduate her with 10 credits, b/c I can do what I want, but I know that does her a real disservice. She’s got a bet with her BIL as to whether she will or won’t officially graduate high school with a diploma, so I think she’d be willing to put the extra work in to it, but I still need ideas.

 

Do you think somehow we could count her job at KFC as part of a work study to beef up the numbers? I could always do a “life skills†elective or make her do the majority of cooking and some meal planning for a while to give her some kind of food elective credit. But she’s going to have to do more core classes at home or take remedial courses at the CC. There’s just no way around it if she wants to be able to say she earned her diploma.

 

Alg 1A D/F

Eng I C/C

PE F/B

Learning Strategies B/C

Life Science D/F

Foundation Geog B

Health C

 

Alg 1B F

Eng II D

PE C/F

Theater-Beg B

Environ Sci B/F

World History F/F

Choir-Chamber A

CAHSEE Eng* F

CAHSEE Math* F

*Remedial prep courses b/c she was below standards on CA state tests

 

Computer Lit F

American Lit F

US History F

Geometry F

PE F

Biology F

 

In Progress – Government, Biology, British Lit

 

What's she missing and what should we add?

Math – she needs at least Algebra 1 plus something higher

English – can we do a decent OCW and call it a credit?

Science – she needs at least 1 full course after she finishes Biology, if not 2

History – US history, economics

[PollyOR]

Our community college offers a high school diploma. I would have her do that. At 18 she needs to be accountable to someone else besides you, her mother-in-law. Things have a way of coming back to bite you. Just my opinion.

 

edit: I'm sorry my reply sounds unsupportive. I homeschooled my oldest during high school at her request and years later I have been critcized for it. And, I'm a MIL. I hope your DIL appreciates you!

[lifesadream83]

Our community college offers a high school diploma. I would have her do that. At 18 she needs to be accountable to someone else besides you, her mother-in-law. Things have a way of coming back to bite you. Just my opinion.

 

edit: I'm sorry my reply sounds unsupportive. I homeschooled my oldest during high school at her request and years later I have been critcized for it. And, I'm a MIL. I hope your DIL appreciates you!

 

My mom was homeschooing my little sisters when I was in 11th and 12th grade. I begged my mom to HS me and she did. She ordered the curriculum I picked and let me at it. She didn't feel qualified to teach me so I taught myself and took Chemistry with some of my friends who were in a coop at my church. I knew the mom really well that was teaching it so she let me join for the cost of the textbooks I really appreciated it! Now I am homeschooling my dd and my sisters are graduating this year LOL.

 

I did run into issues having a homeschool diploma when I joined the military as they looked at it as on the same level as a ged so I lost out on a $20K bonus for not having a high school diploma. For that reason I would make her go to the local cc if they offer the program Bee mentioned. I know with my dd she will at least take dual credit course at the local cc for high school.

[bobbeym]

Our community college offers a high school diploma. I would have her do that. At 18 she needs to be accountable to someone else besides you, her mother-in-law. Things have a way of coming back to bite you. Just my opinion.

 

edit: I'm sorry my reply sounds unsupportive. I homeschooled my oldest during high school at her request and years later I have been critcized for it. And, I'm a MIL. I hope your DIL appreciates you!

 

 

I don't think you sounded unsupportive! I hadn't even considered whether the CC had a diploma program, although I don't remember ever seeing one when we first looked into what they offered. I think all they have is GED, which she doesn't want to get, but I'd have to call them to verify. Sometime last month her BIL made a snarky comment that she'd never actually get a "real" diploma so she's determined to prove him wrong. He didn't put a timeline on his bet, but I'm not sure how thrilled she's going to be when I suggest she use the same currics that DS is using!

 

My mom was homeschooing my little sisters when I was in 11th and 12th grade. I begged my mom to HS me and she did. She ordered the curriculum I picked and let me at it. She didn't feel qualified to teach me so I taught myself and took Chemistry with some of my friends who were in a coop at my church. I knew the mom really well that was teaching it so she let me join for the cost of the textbooks I really appreciated it! Now I am homeschooling my dd and my sisters are graduating this year LOL.

 

I did run into issues having a homeschool diploma when I joined the military as they looked at it as on the same level as a ged so I lost out on a $20K bonus for not having a high school diploma. For that reason I would make her go to the local cc if they offer the program Bee mentioned. I know with my dd she will at least take dual credit course at the local cc for high school.

 

I did think about dual credit courses, but at this point I don't think that's an option for her. Our CC makes all HS dual credit enrollees take the COMPASS exam to qualify. Right now, I don't think DIL would pass it without a lot of studying and practice exams. She might as well just retake the regular course and not have to deal with COMPASS until she's ready to do so.

 

I'd certainly let her pick out her own curriculum. She already is using what she picked out, which includes Notgrass and CK12 texts.

 

What do you think about the courses I'm proposing she take/retake? DS already has Algebra 1 and is starting Algebra 2 soon, and at some point next year we'll need Geometry so buying that early isn't a big deal if I need to. He starts World History in January so they could share that text too, and we'll start US History in the fall anyway.

 

I guess part of my dilemma is how best to approach this with her, without making her feel like she's a failure when she's not. I've known her since she was 12. At that time she was a B/C student, until her mom decided to follow some guy halfway across the country, dragging DIL along for the ride. (DIL's sister offered to let her stay with them, but mom refused. There's still a lot of unresolved issues stemming from that refusal.) DIL spent the next 3 years bouncing around unhealthy environments with a parent whose only concern was herself. She was sick, suffering from a major injury, depressed, put on a lot of weight which made it all worse, and desperately homesick. Honestly, I would have had her here with us much sooner than this past summer but I didn't trust her mom not to accuse us of kidnapping if we moved DIL in before she turned 18. As it is, her mom has currently disowned her (her mom's words, not ours) and will no longer speak to her simply b/c DIL is happy being home with her betrothed, her older siblings, and her friends. Apparently I've "taken her away" because I care about DIL and love her as if she was my own daughter, which she will be some day. :)

[elegantlion]

I'm not an expert, so I'm going to throw some ideas out there:

• I have no idea about the transcript
  
• I would find classes that prepare for real life
  
• I would go back to pre-algebra and make sure she has a good footing in those concepts. If she was getting D/F in algebra there may be processes she doesn't get, possibly fractions and decimals.
  
• I would work on English credits. Create a good grammar basis, vocabulary, maybe add in a communications class. I would also work on basic writing skills. The ability to communicate well in spoken and written work will pay her better dividends in real life and allow her to move ahead.
  
• I would add a personal finance class. There were some good ones linked a few months ago, maybe check the sticky thread at the top. I would do this in addition to other math classes. Having a handle on personal finances will serve her better in real life more than any other skill.
  
• I would worry less about the content subjects. The foundation needs to be rebuilt. If I were going to add those, I'd probably do a World Geography course, easier than history and still a great skill to have. For Science I would look at overall science course (depending on how many years she plans to work toward her degree). A book like Science Matters or a text like The Sciences: An Integrated approach (both written by Trefil/Hazen) would give her a base understanding of scientific literacy. You could expand with videos from Khan Academy or MIT
  
• I would find one subject she wants to study. Something to keep her encouraged and motivated. It sounds like she's going to need some shoring up of her self-esteem.
  

I worked retail a lot after high school. One thing that might have helped me was a sociology study or a cultures study or a psychology study, something that talks about people. If she sees herself working in retail/food service, you might add a class like that, also maybe a business course.

 

Again, if it were my DIL, I would worry less about what the academics look like and prepare her for life. Money management skills, good communication skills, and an understanding of working with people or groups would be my biggest concerns.

[bobbeym]

I'm not an expert, so I'm going to throw some ideas out there:

• I have no idea about the transcript
  
• I would find classes that prepare for real life
  
• I would go back to pre-algebra and make sure she has a good footing in those concepts. If she was getting D/F in algebra there may be processes she doesn't get, possibly fractions and decimals. Ahhh, good idea. I hadn't thought about that as a possible issue. I have a friend whose son just finished LOF's pre-algebra. Maybe I'll see if I can borrow her books and have DIL go through them.
  
• I would work on English credits. Create a good grammar basis, vocabulary, maybe add in a communications class. I would also work on basic writing skills. The ability to communicate well in spoken and written work will pay her better dividends in real life and allow her to move ahead. We're starting soon on the meat of grammar with DS, so I can try to get her to join us, or at least work through the same book. I would just need to get a new test book for her or make copies.
  
• I would add a personal finance class. There were some good ones linked a few months ago, maybe check the sticky thread at the top. I would do this in addition to other math classes. Having a handle on personal finances will serve her better in real life more than any other skill. This is already on our list. DH said he wanted the older kids to take some kind of class so I'll get what I'd picked out for DS and let the older ones work through that with our help.
  
• I would worry less about the content subjects. The foundation needs to be rebuilt. If I were going to add those, I'd probably do a World Geography course, easier than history and still a great skill to have. She took a world geography course in 9th grade and did pretty good at it. I don't think I'd have her retake that, but I do think she either needs to take world/us history courses or read a bunch of living books to get an overall view of things. I'd rather the kids have at least a basic, general idea of history facts than nothing at all. DS is about to start a new world history curriculum in January so I might be able to get DIL to use it too.
  
• For Science I would look at overall science course (depending on how many years she plans to work toward her degree). A book like Science Matters or a text like The Sciences: An Integrated approach (both written by Trefil/Hazen) would give her a base understanding of scientific literacy. You could expand with videos from Khan Academy or MIT. Khan is great and I had forgotten all about it. Hippocampus looks like it might work well too if i can source some cheap texts or living books. I'm sure I can create some kind of discussion topics/writing assignment for both Science and History.
  
• I would find one subject she wants to study. Something to keep her encouraged and motivated. It sounds like she's going to need some shoring up of her self-esteem.
  

I worked retail a lot after high school. One thing that might have helped me was a sociology study or a cultures study or a psychology study, something that talks about people. If she sees herself working in retail/food service, you might add a class like that, also maybe a business course. Good idea. I found some online psych guides that she could follow if she wants to take that as a course.

 

Again, if it were my DIL, I would worry less about what the academics look like and prepare her for life. Money management skills, good communication skills, and an understanding of working with people or groups would be my biggest concerns.

 

Making sure she's ready for life is my biggest concern too. I know she'd like to go to the CC for one of their child care certificate programs so she could babysit other kids or something like that and bring in at least a little income of her own someday. I did ask DS18 to check with the school about a diploma program after his class is over. Hopefully he'll remember.

[Mom22ns]

 

Eng I C/C

Learning Strategies B/C

Foundation Geog B

Health C

 

Theater-Beg B

Environ Sci B/F

Choir-Chamber A

 

In Progress – Government, Biology, British Lit

 

What's she missing and what should we add?

Math – she needs at least Algebra 1 plus something higher

English – can we do a decent OCW and call it a credit?

Science – she needs at least 1 full course after she finishes Biology, if not 2

History – US history, economics

 

 

So the only credits she has are the ones I left above, which look like they fall out as:

English: 1, 2 if she completes British Lit

Social Studies: 1, 2 when she completes Government

Science: .5, 1.5 when she finishes Biology

Health: .5

Fine Arts: 1-2 depending on how much credit the Theater and Choir classes were.

 

Thats about 7 or 8 credits. She is an 18 year old sophomore. That has to hurt.

What she needs depends a lot on her goals. Texas has a lot of freedom in homeschool laws, but if you are going to graduate her, she'll need to have done something that looks like 4 years of high school credit, about 24 credits. That should break down as something like: 4 credits of English, 3 each of history and math, and 2 of science. That is 12 core credits, and she has 5.5. The other 12 credits can include her fine arts and health and whatever else she wants or is interested in.

 

So what I would be trying to get her would be 2 more English credits look at Excellence in Lit for something independent but worthy of a credit, Math: Algebra, Geometry and hopefully Algebra 2, maybe MUS or TT. Social Studies: how about an American History? Science: Whatever interests her or lines up with her future plans, but she needs at least one more full credit course.

 

She could do more in any of those areas to help with her total credits, but she could also go with more elective credits. I agree, make sure she takes a personal finance credit. Then let her follow her interests. She has a long way to go, but she could work through a lot quickly if she is motivated.

[kiana]

I would go back to pre-algebra and make sure she can do it.

 

How is her reading level? If her reading level is below par I'd look into doing the power basics courses starting with basic math -- they have basic math, algebra, geometry, and consumer math. I would start with basic math because I would speculate that since she couldn't pass the two-year algebra course she has some serious weaknesses at lower levels. I would expect that if she successfully completes these courses she'd place into intermediate algebra at the community college. That's okay! Many public schooled kids do as well.

 

Here's the list they have: http://walch.com/power-basics-text-books/ Honestly if the PS gives a credit for completing these textbooks, I think you can too. Note that rainbowresource sells these.

[lifesadream83]

I do not know what your state requires 100% for graduation only what you mentioned. Also keep in mind I am a stickler and that I would not want my credibility questioned by the state. If D is a passing score in the public school system of your state then I would count it. (Personally, for my DD I would not). In your case if it's okay with the state it's okay with me for the courses she has previously taken thus.... I would say have her do the bolded courses.

 

 

What's she missing and what should we add?

Math – she needs at least Algebra 1 plus Geometry (This would be the easiest IMO)

English – can we do a decent OCW and call it a credit? I am not sure what OCW is but based on what she has done/is doing she needs another English Course and should write a couple of various types of papers pertaining to topics that are covered in Science and History Classes and classify it as a Writing Coures/Credit.

Science – she needs at least 1 full course after she finishes Biology, if not 2 I recommend 2 as most states require 3 years of Science (1-Bio/Life, 1-Earth&Space/Astronomy/Environmental, & 1 Chemistry/Physics/Physical Science)

History – US history & World History (Most states require 1-World, 1-US, and 1 Civics/Govt. Economics IMO would be an elective and not fill the world requirement.

 

Other considerations... If you state requires art/music/gym/technology credits you may want to figure out how to derive these from the courses she is taking... (ie technology using the computer for research, familiarity with computer software using Word and Power Point for assignments/ artist & musician appreciation assignments (listening to music and looking at artworks created by the artists... maybe creating her own versions of them) as they come up in history /gym could be workout dvd's once or twice a week, or if she likes to run or something.)

You also mentioned home economics.... She is MARRIED to your son... outside of school if you want to ensure that he is taken care of I would have her cook or help with meal prep, ensure she cleans and is capable of washing clothes. Maybe mending... AND definitely ensure she knows how to be financially savvy make her create a budget off of her earnings at her job.

 

Plan:

Algebra I Geometry

English Writing About Science&World History Topics: Artists&Musicians

Earth Science Physical Science

US History World History

 

Sadly depending on how long she takes to do work it looks like she has about 2 years until completion. She could work through the summer.

[lifesadream83]

Just a suggestions I would use:

 

Teaching Textbooks curriculum for the math. They have a placement test too! http://www.teachingtextbooks.com/

 

I am assuming you do not mind christain based curriculum based on the civics program you are using. So for Science I would use the Apologia Exploring Creation with..... books. They have a way of explaining topics that are hard to understand in a very simple fashion.

 

You could continue with the same brand of History Books if you like.

[bobbeym]

Thanks, everyone, for your comments and suggestions. DIL and I sat down and talked about what she had and what she needed. She decided that she does not want to get a GED and will do whatever it takes to get her high school diploma, even if it takes a couple more years. She said she'd like to go to CC to be a medical assistant so we looked up those courses to get an idea of what she needs to focus on going forward to make the most of her time.

 

Math - Retake both Algebra 1 and Geometry, incorporate Consumer Math into daily life, and maybe take Algebra 2 (3-4 total credits)

English - 1.5 credits completed. Finish British Lit this year, take American Lit next year, work in extra writing in other subjects to round out the missing 1/2 credit. (4 credits total)

Science - Give 1/2 credits for Life and Environ sciences. Finish up Biology this year, take IPC next year. Consider taking Earth science for a full credit. (3-3.5 credits total)

History - Geography completed for .5 credit. Finish Government & Eco this year. Retake World and US History using living books/papers. (3.5 credits total)

Fine Arts and PE are fine as is. (2 credits total)

Electives - 1.5 credits complete. She'll do some short projects and write a research paper to back up the year she spent working as a nanny for 3 little kids for 1/2 credit in Child Development. She'll read some books we already have on health and nutrition, combined with meal planning,cooking, and another research paper for 1/2 credit in Food/Nutrition.

 

That's 18 credits, and we'll work in other elective type courses when and where we can, but at least the core subjects are covered.

I’m still convinced there’s a learning disability in there somewhere even though she and her older sister (the only other person in her family I'm in contact with) aren’t aware of her being diagnosed with anything in the past.

 

I think the greatest gift you could give her is to help her get any LDs diagnosed. If, for example, she's dyslexic, she can learn ways to adapt her learning (not just formal classroom learning, but all the informal everyday learning we all do), and give her self confidence that poor grades in the past weren't because she's inherently stupid, but because no one took the time to understand her needs.

[bobbeym]

I'd gladly do that if I could figure out what any of them were, if there really are any LDs. There's nothing concrete that can be pointed out or that is clearly defined. It's just little stuff here and there, now and then, that kind of make you tilt your head a little bit and wonder. But it could also just be due to the major gap in education that she's had over the years.

 

After a couple very long talks with her, I think most of the low stem from a combination of a severely depressed girl with a self-absorbed (possibly even emotionally abusive) parent and a couple of serious injuries and illnesses that put her behind in school. She just hit that point that she was so far behind that it was almost impossible to get caught up.

 

We deal with a lot of grief from family and friends for letting her move in with us before they're actually married (we're NOT rushing a wedding though, and she does have her own room), but in all honesty, this is probably the most stable home life she's had since she first moved away 4 years ago.

[Jaybee]

Another thing I would consider in her case is to use the American School. From what I understand, their courses are basic, manageable, and accredited. If she works hard, she could probably do it in a couple of years, and it might build up her self-esteem as well.

[lifesadream83]

I think the greatest gift you could give her is to help her get any LDs diagnosed. If, for example, she's dyslexic, she can learn ways to adapt her learning (not just formal classroom learning, but all the informal everyday learning we all do), and give her self confidence that poor grades in the past weren't because she's inherently stupid, but because no one took the time to understand her needs.

 

The formal testing will also get her the help she needs for free in college... tutors and such from the learning center. It is a pain to get tested once you are in college though. This is a really good suggestion. I am currently in college (college, homeschooling and pregnant is not easy LOL) and there are regular students who if they have an attention issue get the time limits removed from their test and they get to take it in a distraction free room. Wish I had remembered that!

 

Also I wanted to say that your plan looks great! I am really excited for you that she is dedicated to getting her diploma! Best Wishes especially around the holidays!

[kiana]

For math -- I do think repeating both is a good idea, but I still really think you ought to do a placement test or just a quick run through a pre-algebra that includes serious review of fractions, percentages, and ratios (which are both frequently misunderstood and rather important in the medical field.)

 

I found this on amazon -- http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Problems-Occupations-Delmars-Mathematics/dp/1401840019/ref=pd_vtp_b_3/188-3044757-8099562#_ -- all of the word problems are presented in a health care format, so maybe it would be more interesting this way? It's also really cheap.

 

Let's put it this way -- if she knows it all already, she should be able to whiz through it fairly quickly. If she can't -- if it's a struggle -- you'll be really glad you stopped for review before algebra.

 

I would credit this as "basic math for health science careers" and yes, I would credit it.

[Sisyphus]

I have no advice, except to say god bless you for taking this on! What a gift she has in a mentor to help her become her best self, and to graduate high school despite the hand life dealt her. Thank you for building this girls self esteem and helping her to succeed in life, what a gift!

[bobbeym]

For math -- I do think repeating both is a good idea, but I still really think you ought to do a placement test or just a quick run through a pre-algebra that includes serious review of fractions, percentages, and ratios (which are both frequently misunderstood and rather important in the medical field.)

 

I found this on amazon -- http://www.amazon.co...3044757-8099562#_ -- all of the word problems are presented in a health care format, so maybe it would be more interesting this way? It's also really cheap.

 

Let's put it this way -- if she knows it all already, she should be able to whiz through it fairly quickly. If she can't -- if it's a struggle -- you'll be really glad you stopped for review before algebra.

 

I would credit this as "basic math for health science careers" and yes, I would credit it.

 

Thanks for the link. It looks like a wonderful option for an additional math course.

 

I certainly don't think placement tests will hurt so I printed out the Alg 1 and Alg 2 tests from TT and will have her do those this week. I figure if she can easily pass both of them then she probably doesn't need to completely retake Alg 1. Do you think the 2 TT placement tests would be enough to go ahead and give her credit for completing Alg 1, despite the low grades a couple years ago? I can always have her take the Alg 1 final I created for DS and give her credit off that.

[kiana]

I would say that if she places into Algebra II, she should have credit for Algebra I. Award it by examination if it makes you feel better.